


Amor Y Muerte

by ByTheSea19



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alicia is not a heartless torturer, Alternate Universe, Character Death, Death, F/M, Love, Love Confessions, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, RALICIA frienship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 95,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByTheSea19/pseuds/ByTheSea19
Summary: "¿Qué pesa más? ¿El amor o la muerte?"Sergio and Raquel meet under peculiar circumstances; Her best friend, Alicia, and his brother, Andrés, decide to get married just a few weeks after meeting.Although they firmly believe that what their loved ones will do is ridiculous (no one can fall in love in such a short time) eventually, the attraction between Sergio and Raquel is inevitable, however, both still carry too much pain from their past that they cannot be happy in their present.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Alicia Sierra, Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 487
Kudos: 504





	1. Chapter 1

> _**To Rome With Love...** _

* * *

The sun was setting on Rome’s sky, it was a breathtaking sight and it was certainly taking it away from Alicia Sierra who was contemplating it as if it were the last sunset of her life.

The Roman Coliseum just a few steps from her was dyed warm orange and the sun, as if intimidated by its magnificence, was hiding behind it. Alicia couldn't help but sigh and take a sip from her glass of champagne.

She was alone, sitting at a table on the terrace of the Royal Art Café, having a break and a delicious dinner after walking all day. The wind was blowing up her short red hair and the gentle notes of Barry Manilow's “ _Can’t Smile Without You_ ” played softly in the background.

_“Ciao bella. Mi concede questo ballo?”_

A husky, masculine voice asked. Alicia looked at the hand that was extended in front of her and then raised her gaze to the owner. She was as much or more impressed by the man in front of her than she was a few seconds ago watching the sunset. Italy did know how to give good men to the world.

He was a tall man, from him emanated an intoxicating masculine fragrance, black hair, sharp features, an _extremely_ penetrating gaze, almost mesmerizing eyes, and a mystical half smile. He was _very_ handsome, with an intellectual, almost aristocratic appearance, tantalizing, unreachable.

"S-scusi?" Alicia stammered with her mouth half open at such a man.

Balleresti con me?”

He really had a hypnotic look, Alicia couldn't stop looking at him and she couldn't find her voice to answer either. But then, like lightning, she remembered the reason why she was there and shuddered.

German. Their breakup. Her depression. This was supposed to be a new beginning, her " _Eat, Pray, Love_ " to heal. " _No men_ ," her best friend, Raquel, had warned her. But Mariví, Raquel's mom and almost a mother to her told her, " _Have some fun_.”

Raquel, friend, I'm sorry; Alicia thought. However she would first tease this Italian vision.

"No, grazie." Alicia replied, turning her gaze to the Coliseum and leaving him there with his hand held out in front of her.

However, the man wasn't going to take _no_ for an answer. Without asking if it was okay, he took the seat across from her and signaled to the waiter.

“Ma cosa fai?!" Alicia exclaimed as he asked the waiter for a drink.

“You are not Italian. Spanish, or am I wrong?" As he spoke, he took out a black and golden box from the inner pocket of his elegant suit and from there he took a black cigarette with golden filter, lighting it with his equally golden lighter. Suddenly she was offended with her crumpled box of white Marlboros in her purse, even his cigarettes looked elegant. He took a puff and exhaled smoke with such grace that Alicia almost felt aroused.

"Hmm, touché." Alicia scoffed, giving him a seductive expression as she reached out her hand across the table, taking his cigarette box and from there a cigarette, he immediately rushed to offer her fire with his lighter.

"Can I know your name?” He asked.

"May I know yours?"

"I asked first."

"Fair. I'm Raquel,”she lied, offering him her hand and exhaling her cigarette smoke, “Raquel Murillo.” If she was going to sleep with a stranger, better to do it anonymously, she thought.

" _Enchanté_." He took her hand gently and gave it a kiss on the top.

“That's French."

"And don't you think it sounds beautiful?" He smoked from his cigarette. “I have always thought that languages are something beautiful, mystical and complex. And I love the mystical, the complex... the beautiful.”

Alicia couldn't help but laugh, no man had ever used such level of chivalry to take her to bed, this was being too funny and extremely arousing. "And you? What's your name?"

"Sergio. Sergio Marquina."

" _Enchantée_ , Sergio." Alicia smiled.

“So, would you dance with me?"

"No one is dancing, this is not a place to dance, besides, I don't feel like it." She replied, with a slight tone of disdain. She knew she _almost_ had him at her feet.

"One day you are going to dance to that song with me." He assured her. Alicia raised an eyebrow in skepticism. "Then let me buy you a drink."

Alicia stood up from her seat, took a glass from the next table, then the bottle of Dom Pérignon from the ice bucket and poured the golden liquid. "This one’s on me."

* * *

Raquel was falling asleep standing up, she wished she were in her bed, asleep, tomorrow she had to be at work very early. But here she was, at the airport, holding a balloon and a sign that said “ _Roja_ " as she affectionately called her sister from another mister, Alicia, while she waited for her to come out through the arrivals’ gates of the Barajas airport, from Rome.

She loved her too much, and she'd had a few months of hell, which was why she'd taken that trip, so she didn't mind waiting for her there until 1 or 2 in the morning, about to fall asleep standing up and with a balloon string tangled around her index finger.

Raquel looked and looked at the clock, she should already be arriving. Looking up, she saw her friend walk out with a smile that reached her ears. _Thank God!_ , Raquel thought. Thank God she was there, and thank God she was smiling again.

" _ENANA_!" Alicia ran with her suitcase in hand to hug her friend as soon as she saw her. Throwing herself into her arms and squeezing her tiny figure. "I missed you so much, _enana_!”

“Can you stop calling me _enana_?" Raquel struggled to speak, squeezed in Alicia's arms. "You are only 5 centimeters taller than me!”

"Shut up!” Alicia laughed, taking Raquel's face in her hands and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Alicia!" Raquel grumbled.

“We are angry today! That asshole of Alberto made you angry, or why this horrible mood?" Alicia linked her arm with her friend's, walking towards the exit.

“It was a marathon day, it's almost one in the morning, and I have to be at work at 7am, you tell me. You, on the other hand, look fresh as a cucumber."

Alicia laughed and looked at Raquel with a cynical smile. "The advantages of traveling first class."

"Wait, your ticket wasn’t first class."

“Exactly!" Alicia took the balloon from Raquel's hands, releasing it into the air and then took a lollipop from her coat pocket. "Let's say there was a change of plans."

"What happened?” Raquel frowned, “why are you so happy? It’s as if you swallowed a rainbow.”

Alicia stopped walking and stood in front of Raquel. "I met someone!” She beamed.

"What? Wasn't that the reason I didn't go with you?! Because you wanted to make the trip alone?!” Raquel was a bit surprised.

“Yes, but like I told you, the plans changed. If you’d see him, Raquel, he is... he's such a... such a man!" Alice sighed. "I spent the best weeks of my life, eating in the best restaurants, staying in the best hotels, drinking the best wine, having the best sex of my life!" She almost shouted.

"Alicia!" Raquel scolded her.

"Oh, don't be prudish!”

Raquel shook her head, but was happy for her friend. Whoever it was that man, he had a big influence on her and her mood, and for that she was grateful. She had been so heartbroken after the breakup of her engagement to Germán, she was glad to see her laugh again, to see her spontaneous, carefree, bubbly self back.

“Well, I'm glad you had a fantastic time in Italy!”

"If I had a fantastic time…” Alicia trailed off. "Don't you notice something different?"

Raquel frowned, “different? Different like what?"

"Look closely,” Alicia ran her hands down her face and chest. "Nothing?"

Raquel stared her friend from head to toe, but couldn't notice anything different about her, it wasn't until the lights made something sparkle in her hand, was it…? NO!

"ALICIA, IS, IS THAT…?”

"I'M GETTING MARRIED!" Alicia shrieked.

Raquel felt like she was going to flop on the floor, like a cartoon character. To say she was surprised was an understatement, she was in complete shock.

"WHAT?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! " Raquel yelled.

“I have _never_ been more serious. I'm getting married, Raquel, I'm getting married, and the ceremony will be in Italy and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there, listen to yourself, Alicia! Listen to what you are saying. You went to Italy a month ago, having just ended a relationship of years, an engagement! And now, you come back saying that you met someone and after a month you are engaged _again_ and that you already have the venue, the flowers, what else? Do you have the priest in your suitcase?!”

"Raquel, please, just listen—" Alicia asked almost pleadingly.

" _Cariño_ , I know that what you had with Germán was very strong and it was very hard to end it, but please, don’t let the fear of loneliness or the need be with someone cloud your reason."

"Oh, don't pull the psychologist with me!"

"Then don't make me!" She retorted, "Wait, he didn't knock you up, did he?”

"Of course not! Raquel, I know you worry, and I appreciate that, but… this time it's different, I know it, I feel it! Raquel, there are times when you can spend years with a person and although you love them with all your heart, sometimes you feel that something is missing. But then a person can come and in just days fill the void of that _something_. Make you see the world in a different light, make you feel differently."

"And that man... does he make you feel what you no longer felt with Germán?" Raquel asked, she couldn't help but sound a little harsh. She was friends with both Alicia and Germán, they were her aspirational couple and she hated the idea that her illusion had vanished.

"Yes. I loved Germán a lot, you saw how I was after our breakup but… despite the pain, I felt freed, you know?”

“Alicia, _cariño_ , it was just a month, how could you fall in love and get engaged in a month?! It's ridiculous! This trip was supposed to be your _eat, pray, lov_ e, your starting over!”

“Julia Roberts ended up with Javier Bardem on ‘ _Eat, Pray, Love’_ ”. Alicia shrugged with an almost childish expression.

"You know what I mean."

Alicia sighed heavily, she knew that Raquel wasn’t going to take this news well and of all the people, she was the one whose opinion mattered most to her, she would hate not having her friend there with her on her wedding.

“I know, but… I mean it, Raquel. Andrés makes me feel like Germán never did, not even in our best moments."

Raquel looked at her for a few seconds, ”so... Andrés?" It seemed that she was lowering her guard a little.

"Yeah, first he introduced himself as Sergio, and I as Raquel Murillo." Alicia grimaced, anticipating her friend's reaction which didn’t disappoint.

"WHAT?!"

“Calm down! Then I told him the truth, and so did he. Hey, I thought it was just going to be a one night stand! His full name is Andrés de Fonollosa, and he's not only handsome, he's incredible in bed." Raquel couldn't help rolling her eyes. “Don't make that face, you’re envious. Maybe that's what you need, too!”

"Shut up!"

“But he's not just that, he's incredibly smart and educated, but he's also funny; we can talk about the most complex concepts of life, art, music, science, religion… but we can also laugh at the most ridiculous nonsense, and guess what?!”

"What."

“He is a gazillionaire! His family is nothing more and nothing less than the owners of the _Fonollosa_ wines and vineyards."

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Raquel gasped. "Good catch, friend!”

"So… does that mean you're okay with the news?"

Raquel grunted and rolled her eyes. "Does my opinion even matter?"

"Of course! Raquel, you are my best friend, practically my sister, but although I care what you think, it’s also true that the decision has already been made, so… if you don't accept it at least, can you be there for me?”

Raquel looked at her with narrowed eyes, considering her answer. She was an adult and she knew what she was doing with her life and she loved her too much to try to stand in the way of her happiness, she would be with her _always_ and if she had to spend nights holding her while she cried herself to sleep again, she would.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me?"

“I already love you, idiot. Come here!” Raquel opened her arms for Alicia and both friends shared a warm hug. "Now let me see, let me see that ring!”

Alicia showed her her engagement ring with a huge smile of pride. It was a beautiful piece, an oval diamond set on a white gold band, somewhat extravagant for her taste, but perfect for Alicia.

“And get ready, because soon I’ll take you to Italy so you can meet him and his brother, Sergio, in person. Perhaps his brother can remove the cobwebs from you." She gave her a wink.

"I remind you that I am taken, but thank you for your concern."

"Come on, do you still call what you have with Alberto a relationship? How long has it been since... you know?”

“That's none your business!" Raquel fired back bitterly.

“That's hardly a relationship, everyone has noticed, me, your mother, even you!”

“Are you judging my relationship? You?"

“It is not judgment, it’s the truth, and you know it! What you two have is mere habit, remember the song, habit is stronger than love."

Although upset, Raquel knew that Alicia was right. What they had could hardly be called a relationship, they hardly saw each other, if he didn’t come home late at night, he would make up excuses for not coming at all, they hadn’t made love in months and she couldn’t remember the last time he or someone, other than herself, had given her an orgasm.

“It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, or rub my happiness on your face. I love you, and I want the best for you, I want you to love and be loved, you have gone through hell and back and you deserve to be happy!” Raquel simply gave her friend a half smile. “But I'm serious, let's go to Italy, you need to breathe new air that isn’t Madrid’s. And I only know him in photographs, but I didn’t lie when I said that Andrés' brother is _very_ handsome."

"Alicia."

"Ok, ok, I'm going to stop!” Alicia put her arm around Raquel's shoulders and they both walked towards the parking lot. "But something tells me that this trip will bring many surprises for you."

"You're impossible!” Raquel shook her head. Alicia was a handful, but still she loved her, who knew and perhaps that trip would help her clear up many existential doubts that she was going through…

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all the people who left me a review in the first chapter, it meant a lot since I was (still am a little) a bit nervous about this fic, so THANK YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK A MILLION TIMES!!!💜 also to all the people who left kudos 🥰
> 
> Thanks again to Em for proof/spelling reading this 💜
> 
> I hope you like this new chapter, things start to move from here, I promise!!

> _**Darling, each and every day, life slips away...** _
> 
> * * *

Although it didn’t look like it, Andrés was shuddering with anxiety, under his stoic man's facade he was terrified. He knew that what he was about to do was nothing new or nothing he hadn't done before, but this time it was different, Alicia was different, and he couldn't wait to tell his brother, Sergio, about his wedding plans.

He was already hearing his boring little brother's lecture, but he also hoped he would understand it when he let him know the reasons behind his decision.

"Mr. Fonollosa," the housekeeper called him from the door, "your brother is already here, he's waiting for you in the living room."

Andrés nodded and the housekeeper left, he walked to the mirror in his office, adjusted his suit jacket, his tie, the cufflinks on his shirt and took a deep breath.

In the living room, Sergio was going through the papers that he had brought for his brother, he was eager to show them to him and to know his opinion on the new project that he had in mind.

“ _Hermanito!_ " Andrés exclaimed when he saw his brother, both men shared a warm hug. "How long!" Sergio smiled shyly as his brother cradled his face with his hands, patting him lightly on the cheek. “I see you differently, what did you do? new glasses? did you lose weight? Ah, I know, new girlfriend!"

He gave him a mischievous look and Sergio responded with an annoyed one. "None of that." He pushed his hands out of his face.

“And then?"

“Well, you asked me to come! Also, I take the opportunity to bring you a new project that I have in mind, come."

Andrés followed him, sitting next to him. " _Hermanito_ , I didn't call you to talk about work.”

Sergio ignored his words, took the folder with the plan and opened it on the coffee table for his brother to see. "I have been studying the numbers for the past 3 semesters and they are amazing, sales are better than ever and I think it’s the best time to enter the American market, enter Chile, California," Sergio spoke with such enthusiasm but Andrés only looked at him, his voice an echo in the background, he couldn't focus on what he was saying, “Andrés, we have everything to compete with Chile in the production and sale of wine! And not only that, last month I met this Asturian man, he is very interested in us investing in his cider business, we can enter both markets next year if we have a plan for the end of this year, isn’t that great!" Sergio's huge smile faded when he noticed that his brother's mind was thousands of miles away.

"You didn't hear a single word of what I said to you, did you?"

“I beg your pardon?"

Sergio sighed and adjusted his glasses. "I brought you a whole plan to start exporting to America and enter the cider market, but you were I don't know where!”

Andrés gave him one of those trademark smiles of his. "You know _hermanito_? Even though I didn't call you to talk business, I'm glad you brought this whole plan and see you so immersed in the company."

Sergio shrugged. "Well, it's the least I can do after you put me on the board and practically gave me shares in your company."

Andres got up from his seat and going to the small liquor cart poured two glasses of wine, one for himself and one for his brother. "Oh no, I'm fine." Sergio rejected the glass.

“Oh, believe me, you are going to need it,” Sergio reluctantly took the glass and again Andrés took a seat next to him, “as I told you, I am glad to see you so committed to the company and to see that you have new projects, because starting today,” he took a sip from his wine, “from today, Sergio, you are the main shareholder of the Fonollosa vineyards and winery, 80% of the shares, all for you, you can do whatever you want without consulting me."

Sergio was out of words. He couldn't formulate a single thought in his head to speak because of how shocked he was.

"Don't look so happy!" Andrés laughed, slapping Sergio on the shoulder, pulling him out of his stupor.

“Andrés, are you crazy?! How are you going to give me your shares?! How are you going to give me your company?! If you don't want to work and you want to travel the world as you like, that's fine, I do the job, but it's your company, your family's, I can't take it!”

"Sergio, you are my family, also..." Andrés became more serious, "you know that it will be a matter of time for you to take full direction."

"That's why? You know that your disease is controlled!”

“Controlled, but not cured. We both know perfectly well what the outcome will be and I have already made peace with that, so I want to put my business in order before, you know.”

"Andrés." Sergio said with a trembling voice, he hated talking about it, he couldn't get used to the idea that his brother would die in a matter of just a few months, maybe hopefully a couple of years, and with his death he would be completely alone and without any family.

"But hey, let me rephrase what I just told you, yes, you will be the main shareholder, but I will only give you half of my shares, 30%, the other 30% of the shares..." here it was, "the other 30 % will be for my future wife."

This time Sergio was not only shocked, the glass he was holding in his hand also slipped from his fingers, falling and spilling the carmine-colored liquid on the expensive Persian carpet in the living room. "You, you… YOU WHAT?!”

"My wife!” Andrés replied with a mocking smile, "I'm getting married, _hermanito_!"

“You are kidding."

He shook his head as he poured Sergio another glass of wine, “No, I'm getting married, I'm getting married to the most beautiful, intelligent, fun and sexy woman this damn world has ever seen. That is why I want to step down from the board to enjoy the little or long time I have left in my life with Alicia,” He sighed and handed the glass to Sergio, “even her name is beautiful. Alicia.”

"But... you hadn't told me about any woman, I didn't know you were seeing someone."

“I met her on my most recent trip to Rome, we spent some incredible days and I can say that by the 4th day she already had me tied to her feet. She is the perfect woman, she has this mouth, these eyes and a body that… my god! They take my breath away. She is Spanish, lives in Madrid and is a police inspector, she will soon come to see me and plan the wedding and I want you to meet her."

“You have completely lost your mind, haven't you? How, how can you jump, for the 5th time, in the marriage commitment after knowing her for a few weeks?! It’s absolutely ridiculous! You don't know who she is, where she comes from, nothing! Besides, _nobody_ falls in love in just weeks!”

“Of course I know who she is! We told each other everything in the warmth of the sheets after making love."

“You are ridiculous.” Sergio couldn't believe it.

"Ridiculous? For wanting to enjoy what little I have left of life? I'd rather laugh, I'd rather love than spend my life in stinking classrooms, with my nose stuck in dusty history books or doing origami."

Sergio felt his pride hurt. "Does she know that you are sick?"

Andres let out a dismissive laugh. "I have found love, Sergio, and if Alicia has taught me something, it is that you can’t time love, you live love.”

“Like you did the last 4 times?"

"That was a low, very low blow, especially coming from you." Offended, Andrés walked to the large window, looking out to the vast vineyard fields at his country house in Lombardy. "It's time for you to stop that pathological fear you have for relationships and women," then he turned to look him in the eye, "that fear that the same thing will happen again, not all women are the same, not all are like—"

"Do _not_ say it!” Sergio warned him and Andrés made fun of his brother with a huff.

“I'm not asking your permission, Sergio. I’m letting you know of my decision, although from the bottom of heart… I would love for you to be there. I even,” he grinned, “I gave her my mother's ring, I never gave it to my previous wives, and you know it. This time it's different."

Sergio looked at his brother attentively, and indeed there was something different about him, as cheesy as it sounded he had a new sparkle in his eyes and even a spring in his step.

He didn't want his brother to jump back into another relationship that could end like the previous four did. Even though he hadn't shown it and brushed it off him as much as he could, Sergio could see how each failed relationship took something from him, changing him completely.

He only wished that, for his sake and that of that woman, Alicia, this time it would be different. He wanted to see his brother enjoying his last months, or years, to the fullest, happy.

Although it was still hard for him to accept it and he was in denial, deep down he knew that his brother’s end was imminent. They had tried everything, they had seen all the best doctors in the world and no one had a cure. So if that woman was her brother's happiness, he would support him unconditionally.

"You know I'll be there." Sergio answered, really, from the heart.

"Great!" Andrés smiled, "she will come in a month or so to talk some details of the wedding, it will be in the ex-monastery, by the way," he made a gesture with his eyebrows and with his huge cynical smile, "she will bring a friend, her name is Raquel."

"You know my position, so if you’re going to bring that girl over to play match-makers, you better save her the trip."

“You have to leave that fear behind, you know? One of these days, a woman will come and the feelings will flow and they will hit you like a tidal wave and you won’t have time to hold on to anything and when you least think about it you will realize that you are head over heels for her. Mark my words, _hermanito_. "

Sergio just rolled his eyes dismissively.

* * *

Raquel would be lying if she said that sometimes she wasn’t irritated by Alicia's attitude, sometimes even jealous. The change in her was so evident, she was a completely different woman, although she was in Madrid, and her fiancé, Andrés, in Milan, both spent their free time texting or video calling, in one of which she met him and she admitted that she found him _really_ attractive, he was an elegant man, with an almost aristocratic air. It wasn’t until later that Alicia confirmed that in fact he did have aristocratic blood, one more point in favor in the already long list of virtues of Andrés de Fonollosa.

"Look, what do you think?" Alicia asked Raquel, showing her a photo of Andrés' brother, Sergio, on her cellphone.

"Hmm, he's attractive," Raquel replied without much emotion, "a little nerdy, not much my style."

"Yes, I know, you like idiots like Alberto."

"Could you at least for _one_ day _not_ criticize my relationship? _One_ day! We don’t all live in a pink bubble like you!” Raquel retorted.

"You could, if you wanted." Alicia shrugged, returning to her cell phone as she sucked on her lollipop.

Raquel rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the papers in her hands. She was afraid that Alicia was suspecting something, she and Alberto were far from well, in fact, they were worse than ever. Their relationship was hanging by a thread but she couldn’t bring herself to finally break it, they had too much past, too much history together to end it, she didn’t know how to end almost 10 years of relationship.

Was it conformism? Was it habit? Was it fear? Was it cowardice? Raquel knew deep down what _it_ was, but also knew what it was _not_ , and that was love. It was a long time since she had stopped feeling love for Alberto, but that _something_ kept her trapped to continue with him.

Every day was a new hell worse than the previous one, they had stopped talking to start screaming, he slept on the sofa and she in bed, he came home late to see her as little as possible and she went to work as early as possible, also to avoid seeing him and she had never been more grateful that forensics wasn’t in the same building as she was in.

"So, will you help me plan the wedding?" Alicia asked with a huge smile. "I have a couple of appointments to see dresses and obviously I want you to come with me and your mom too.”

“You know we will go with you. Stop you from choosing something tacky, you are practically marrying royalty, Your Highness!”

Alicia laughed out loud. "Then from now on you better address me with a bow."

Later that day, Raquel came to her mother's house to tell her about Alicia's invitation to look for wedding dresses and also to vent a little, or a lot, with her about how crazy and mentally exhausting the last weeks had been.

"Mom!" Raquel yelled from the door, coming in with her set of keys. "Are you home?!”

"I'm over here, _cariño_!" Mariví answered from the kitchen.

"Hey mom!” Raquel greeted her mother with a kiss and a tight, tight hug.

"How good to see you here, you hardly visit me anymore!” Mariví cupped her daughter's face. "Come on, sit down," she led her to a chair at the table, turning around to pour two cups of hot cocoa.

"Sorry, I know, but work is getting crazier every day and how crazy it will be when Alicia quits working."

"So it's a fact? Will she leave the police force?" Mariví asked, placing the cups on the table and sitting next to her daughter.

“Apparently yes, she already sent her resignation. She will leave in a few weeks, when we go to Italy to visit her fiancé."

“Well, you know what? I think it’s perfect."

Raquel frowned in disbelief. "Do you agree with this madness?!"

"Madness? Madness is walking naked down the street, this is love, beautiful love."

Raquel rolled her eyes and shook her head. “It seems then that I'm the bad one in the story when I only care about her! I’m afraid that she will get hurt from all this and that this man is just playing with her like all the rich do.”

"What if he’s not?"

“What if he is?! Mom, you say this now because you haven't seen Alicia since before her trip to Italy, but if you did, do you remember this movie we once watched starring Nicole Kidman? Where all these women who were super accomplished in their work were turned into robots of the perfect wife by their husbands? Alicia is acting just the same! It seems that something changed or programmed her to be this being of light, it seems that she swallowed a rainbow and now he's spitting out unicorns and glitter and sugar!” Raquel ranted almost out of breath making her mother laugh.

" _Cariño_ , that's love!"

"No one should change for anyone.”

"She is not changing, she’s just being happier, that’s what love is about, bringing the best of oneself."

"It happened in days, Mom! Who falls in love in days?!"

"Your father and I." Mariví answered matter of factly.

"Huh?"

“Your father and I! We met at the San Pascual festivities in Almanza and it was love at first sight. Four months later we were getting married, six months later you were on the way and 20 years later I was with him in his last breath, as we swore at the altar, until death tear us apart."

Raquel smiled wistfully, "I didn't know that part of the story."

“Yeah, well, that's how it happened. But you, my daughter, what you have to do is stop being so close minded, you have to be more open to love, love is like that, it’s not planned. We have so little time in this life, _cariño_ , don't you think you deserve to live surrounded by love?"

Raquel sighed heavily, she really wished she could tell her mother _everything_ , but she knew the concept in which she had Alberto, and she really wasn't in the mood for yet another lecture.

However, Mariví was insightful, mother’s insight, she knew there was something wrong with her daughter, she had known it for a long time, she expected her daughter to speak about it, but when she saw that she didn’t, she decided to address the elephant in the room.

"Could it be that all this that is happening with Alicia is making you rethink your relationship with Alberto?"

Raquel ran her hands through her hair in exasperation. “Now you too?! Did you team up with Alicia to drag my relationship, or what?!”

"I just say what I see, and since Alicia announced her engagement you have been more irritable than ever, no offense, _cariño_ , but I can say that you even seem jealous, are you jealous of that man? That you feel like he's taking your best friend away from you, or are you jealous of their relationship? I haven't seen you smile in so long!”

“You're never going to accept him, are you? Since what happened you haven’t accepted him the same way again. You blame him for what happened— "

"But of course I—"

"That wasn't his fault!" Raquel cried, "It wasn't his fault, Mom," she repeated, this time with a softer voice, "It wasn't my fault, it wasn't anyone's fault, that happened because it had to happen."

"But you blamed yourself."

"I did, at the time, but now I understand that it wasn’t my fault, or anyone else's."

Mariví's lips twisted, trying to hide her annoyance. “But he was happy, he was happy about what happened, deep down he was relieved. He wasn't even man enough to be there!”

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it now, okay?! Not now, not ever again, that was 5 years ago."

Mariví took her daughter's hands in hers. " _Cariño_ , I know you think what I say is to bug you, but I really want to see you happy again, I want to see you smile again and that man killed your smile so long ago. Think, _mi amor_ , think if, how is your relationship now, if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life with Alberto."

Mariví ran her hands through Raquel's long, silky brown hair, tucking a lock behind her ear. “Why don't you take a few days away from him to think about it, take this trip to Italy and the distance to rethink your relationship and your future. You deserve all the happiness in the world, _mi niña._ ”

Raquel didn't answer _yes_ or _no_ , but she did keep thinking, thinking a lot.

Finally, the day came when Raquel and Alicia traveled to Florence to go to the old ex-monastery of Andres’ family that was now one of the many Fonollosa’s summer homes. There, Raquel would meet Andres and his brother, Sergio. She was in awe for all the attention they had received from the moment a driver picked them up both from their apartments in Madrid.

From there, a driver took them to the airport where they both boarded Andres's private plane that took them to Florence and there, another driver picked them up in a luxurious black Maserati Ghibli to take them home.

Raquel had never experienced such luxury in her life, she even, unconsciously, tensed during the trip both on the plane and in the car, she felt that if she moved too much something would break. She lived comfortably, her salary as an inspector was more than excellent, however, this was _too much_. She had no problem traveling economy class, in fact, she always did. Neither in staying in hostels when she traveled and until not long ago she still used public transport. This was otherworldly.

She could see how Alicia enjoyed it, she had always known that her friend was high maintenance. She loved luxuries, quality things and she had no qualms about wasting her money on herself. Raquel knew that this was probably just the beginning of a weekend full of luxury, so she decided to enjoy it more, at least everything was free.

After almost two hours of travel, they finally approached the old ex-monastery owned by the Fonollosa’s. It was a majestic construction and from what Alicia had told her it dated back centuries, from the 12th century, and over the years it had been a farm, a castle, a convent, an orphanage, a monastery and so on until it was in the hands of Andrés's family and turned it into a summer house.

When Raquel got out of the car she couldn’t help but gape at the peculiar piece of architecture in front of her. It was simple from outside, but being high on a hill on a meander and surrounded by cliffs made it imposing.

"Wow!" Raquel exclaimed and she and Alicia shared a big smile.

"I told you that you would like this trip!”

The servants took them to a huge room with an equally huge crystal chandelier, neither of the two women could stop looking at their surroundings, everything was so elegant and tasteful.

They were being treated like queens, as they had been since the driver picked them up in Madrid. All at André’s request.

"Now what?" Raquel asked Alicia, almost whispering.

Alicia didn’t hesitate to make herself comfortable, flopping down on one of the sofas and taking one of the apples from a bowl on the coffee table. "You heard the maid, Andrés and his brother will be here shortly," she took a bite of the apple, "but relax, you've been tense the whole trip, come, sit next to me", she tapped the spot next to her, then she took another apple and threw it to Raquel who skillfully caught it in midair.

"I'm not tense!” Raquel replied, playing with the apple from one hand to another, "it's just that I'm not used to all this luxury, that's all."

"No one is charging you anything.” Alicia shrugged.

Raquel rolled her eyes and sat next to her, "can you believe that soon you will be practically the owner of all this?!”

Alicia smiled shyly, she really didn't care if Andres was one of the richest men in Italy, it _really_ didn't matter. When she was with him, all of that took a back seat, he made her feel like the only woman in the world, as if his world revolved around her.

"It's a bit of a creepy place, I must say.”

“I find it beautiful." Raquel replied, looking around, all the art was exquisite and she wondered if they were copies or originals. "Do you think all these paintings are original?"

 _"Some are and others are not, Miss Murillo."_ A voice behind her answered, it was Andrés, "my family donated much of the art they owned to museums and instead they gave us exact replicas."

“ _Amore mio_!" Alice exclaimed.

Andrés hugged her from behind the back of the sofa and she brought him closer to her, taking him by the lapel of his suit jacket. Raquel felt too uncomfortable, seeing them there kissing just inches from her, she could perfectly hear the sound of their tongues. She thought they would stop, but when she saw that they wouldn’t and that Alicia only brought him closer and closer to her, Raquel sensed what was coming, so she immediately got up from the sofa, and indeed, what she thought, happened.

Alicia pulled Andres until he fell onto the sofa and onto her lap to continue kissing him.

It wasn't until Raquel got up from the sofa and looked at the man who was standing there and assumed it was Andres's brother, Sergio, who she had been told so much about.

She had to admit that in person he was much more attractive than in photographs, his glasses gave him an air of _je ne sais quoi_ that made him quite intriguing.

He looked around, his hands behind his back, rocking his body slightly front and back, as if he was bored. No, as if he did _not_ want to be there, as if he wanted to run away.

But it was at the moment in which their eyes collided that Raquel felt something, that if she had been distracted she wouldn’t have noticed. While he looked little or not impressed at all by her presence, _something_ inside her stirred. It was something weird, something in him, in his face, in his eyes, something about him… This was going to be an interesting weekend…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sergio and Raquel finally met!  
> What do you think will their reactions be?  
> And we are starting to get into Sergio and Raquel's pasts 👀
> 
> Let me know your thoughts about this chapter, I'd love to read you all 💜
> 
> You can find me on twitter as @kimssgreen too 😉


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, you can't even imagine how much they mean to me. They inspire me so much to keep posting💜
> 
> Thanks Em for the proof reading 🥰
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think, even if you don't like it, I ***really*** want to know your thoughts🥺👉🏼👈🏼

> _**Nos presentó tu amiga, la que dice que adivina futuro por venir...** _
> 
> * * *

Seeing that neither of them stopped their display of affection and that they were _very_ close of doing it right there on the sofa without caring that they were not alone, Sergio decided to intervene.

"A-andrés." He said, too low for them to hear. "Andrés." He repeated again.

"ALICIA!" Raquel yelled and the pair of lovers jumped apart, although without showing a hint of shame, on the contrary, they both smiled like the Cheshire cat.

Raquel gave Alicia a disapproving gesture, while she only cleaned the corner of her lips with her fingers.

"Oh, sorry, you must think I am so rude, but I cannot resist this wonderful woman!” Andrés said, then he got up and offered a hand to Raquel, "Andrés de Fonollosa, nice to meet you, Alicia has told me so much about you that I already feel like I know you!”

"The same goes for me!” Raquel answered, taking Andrés hand and both shared a kiss on both cheeks.

“ _Hermanito!_ " Andrés invited Sergio, who was still uncomfortably watching the entire interaction from afar. "Come, don't be shy, I want to introduce you to your future sister-in-law and the owner of my heart."

Sergio joined the dynamic, but Raquel could see as if he was stifling a cry, he didn’t want to be there and that made her feel uncomfortable too, or rather, unwelcome. Alicia and Andrés were so caught up in their bubble to realize that.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Sierra." Sergio offered her hand to Alicia along with a slight nod of his head.

“My pleasure, but please call me Alicia. Miss Sierra sounds so old-fashioned." Sergio gave her an almost imperceptible half smile.

"And she, Sergio," Andrés started.

“She is my best friend!” Alicia continued, “Raquel Murillo. I think your brother already told you about her!”

The look Sergio shot Andrés didn’t go unnoticed to Raquel, now she wanted to run, too. It was all so uncomfortable but it seemed that only she noticed it, she could almost feel the tension in the air, suffocating and uncomfortable.

"Nice to meet you!” Raquel offered her hand to Sergio and tried to put on a smile as genuine as possible.

Sergio offered her his hand, barely touching her fingers, giving her a bland shake. Where her hand was warm, his was icy, she could almost feel him shiver under her touch.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Murillo."

"Well, you arrived just in time for lunch, why don't we go to the dining room?" Andrés suggested. "Oh no," he snapped his fingers at the housekeeper in the corner of the room. “Please, Matilde, have everything taken to the stairs’ courtyard, it’s a beautiful day, we will eat there."

"Andrés, you have a spectacular house, this place is a dream!” Raquel complimented the beauty of the place.

"You should come in winter, covered in snow seems out of a fairytale, doesn't it, Sergio?" Sergio hummed and nodded with a tight smile. Andrés was trying to include him in the conversation.

"I would love to see that!”

"Well, ladies," Andrés said, linking his right arm with Raquel's and his left with Alicia's. "Both are cordially invited to come again in winter, or rather, whenever you wish, consider this your home."

Andrés walked with both women linked to his arms towards one of the gardens of that beautiful place and Sergio followed them a few steps behind. Once there, the waiters were arranging the last details on the table for lunch, Andrés pulled the chairs back so that Alicia and Raquel could sit, a true gentleman, while Sergio sat down without saying a word.

During lunch, Andrés and Alicia wouldn’t stop talking about the wedding. They both were glowing with joy and that made Raquel relax a bit in the midst of Sergio's notable discomfort, who only limited to smile awkwardly and nod.

"And what do you think of the wedding, Sergio?" Raquel asked him, trying to break the ice a bit, he had been quiet until that moment.

"I do not have much to say, it is their decision."

"Yes, but—"

“Sergio is over the moon, isn't he, _hermanito_?" Again just a smile and a nod.

Just then Andrés received a call that seemed to be very important, he apologized and left them to go and answer. Alicia, noticing that they had been left alone with Sergio decided to leave him and Raquel alone with the silly excuse that she wanted to prepare a surprise for Andrés.

She got up from the table and Raquel looked at her with pleading eyes, she did _not_ want to be alone with Sergio, but Alicia ignored her, she turned around and went down the same hall where Andrés had gone.

Raquel sighed softly so Sergio wouldn’t notice her discomfort and gave him a big, fake smile. The silence was awkward, the waiters brought the dessert and coffee. While Sergio immediately sank his fork into the fruit tart, Raquel could barely eat a bite.

The silence and lack of communication were suffocating her. She wasn't exactly the most talkative person, but by profession she knew how to strike up a conversation. So she thought about approaching him by going into inspector mode.

“Well, Sergio, Alicia told me a lot about you, what do you do with your life? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.” Raquel queried.

Sergio swallowed the big bite of tart and adjusted his glasses on his nose. “I am a professor." He replied without taking his eyes off the plate.

"Professor! Noble profession, of what?"

"Economy and history."

"Wow! That sounds interesting." Silence again. “I'm an inspector, like Alicia."

"Oh." Sergio answered dryly, raising his eyebrows.

"How about the wines? Alicia told me that you are also in the business."

“In the accounting part, yes. And the wines are fine, we are thinking of expanding our market to America."

"That's great!"

The awkward silences were beginning to feel longer and longer and Raquel couldn't help but notice how Sergio kept looking at his wristwatch.

“Look, Sergio, if you have to be in another place, for me there’s no problem, I will find my way on my own. You can go, don't stop for me."

Sergio stood up clumsily from his chair, made a little bow with his head and left, getting lost down the same corridor where Andrés and Alicia left, leaving Raquel there, alone with her fruit tart.

When she finished her dessert and her coffee, and when she saw that no one returned to the table, Raquel went back to the room where they had been taken when they arrived, it was the only place she knew and the house was huge, very easy to get lost in the corridors, rooms and gardens.

Alone, and without the expectation of having to meet Alicia's fiancé and his brother, she finally allowed herself to contemplate all the art in the room. It was beautiful, many of the pieces carved out of marble and wood and from the appearance most likely gold as well.

Raquel paid _special_ attention to a beautiful sculpture of Archangel Miguel, it was difficult to tell if it was sculpted or plated in copper or rose gold, she almost wanted to touch it.

_“It is beautiful, isn't it?"_

Raquel jumped back with her heart in her throat, "Do you always make your entrances like this?" She chuckled shyly making him chuckle, too.

"I saw you so absorbed looking at the art that I didn't want to interrupt you." Andres answered, taking out his cigarette box. "Does it bother you if I smoke?" He asked before lighting his cigarette.

“No, no, no, not at all! Also, this is your home.”

Andrés offered her one and Raquel, after the day she had had, of course she needed a good smoke. She took the cigarette and he offered her fire.

"You like it?" Andres asked, referring to the sculpture.

“It's beautiful!”

"Take it." He said, without any hesitation, as if it were nothing.

Raquel couldn’t help but choke on the smoke. ”W-what? No! I can’t accept it, it is surely a unique piece!”

“In that you are right,” he said, approaching the figure and running his fingers along the length. "It dates from the XV century, hand-carved in bronze and plated in rose gold, and, do you see these details?" He pointed to the sword and the wings, "diamonds."

Raquel shook her head, “All the more reason not to take it, this is invaluable! Thanks, but no, I can't accept it."

Andres huffed, the smoke of his cigarette escaping from his nostrils . "Almost no one comes to this place, all this art is filling with dust and mold, surely you will have a suitable place for it to be properly appreciated."

"Andrés."

"If you don't accept it, I'll send it to your home anyway." He gave her a charming smile.

Raquel pursed her lips and shook her head, sighing, this seemed to be a lost argument. “Okay!"

"By the way, where did Alicia and my brother go?"

“Alicia went to her room and Sergio ran away terrified, what did you tell him about me?! I’m not a monster!”

“Please, don't take it personally, my brother is very shy, but it’s not bad intention, when you get to know him better you will realize it."

"I hope so."

Later that night, once settled in what would be her room and in bed, Raquel couldn't sleep. Strangely, thousands of thoughts about Sergio flew through her head, his peculiar behavior, his penetrating gaze, he was hiding something and if there was something she loved it was mysteries. But he seemed to be hard as a rock and difficult to permeate.

She tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a comfortable sleeping position but it was useless, the room was ridiculously big, with thick stone walls that she could scream and surely no one would hear her. She tried, first very softly and then louder, echoing in the soaring ceilings.

She thought of masturbating so she could sleep, but the multiple paintings of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on the walls intimidated her, staring at her as if they knew all her sins. She got out of bed, grabbing some cardigans and scarves to cover them but then she felt extremely thirsty and hungry. She had barely touched her dinner, she wasn’t a fan of portobellos so she only drank the delicious wine, produced by the family, and ate the stuffing from the mushrooms.

Raquel put on her slippers, her dressing gown and left the room. The corridors were barely lit with little dim lamps, so she took out her cell phone to illuminate the way, trying to get to the kitchen to take some water at least.

It was a huge place, she didn’t remember the way she had taken from the dining room to her bedroom. There were so many doors that out of curiosity she opened a few, some doors were sealed, some rooms were empty, without any furniture, and some were just guest rooms.

Before continuing in her search for the way to the kitchen, she decided to open one last door, which, to her _bad_ luck, turned out to be nothing more and nothing less than Sergio's bedroom. He was _completely_ naked, getting dressed after taking a shower.

“OH, MY GOD!" Raquel cried embarrassed, turning to the other side but without shutting the door.

Sergio was just as embarrassed, so much he couldn't say anything, he quickly grabbed his underwear and pajama pants.

"Could you please shut the door!" Sergio demanded annoyed as he put on his boxers and pants.

"I, I, I was just looking for the kitchen!” Raquel stuttered, unable to avoid a little peek at Sergio's butt and toned abdomen. And well, yeah, his manhood too, before he covered it with his hand.

"Does this look like a kitchen to you?!" He shouted.

"The place is huge, I was lost!"

"You can't get into rooms without knocking first, just shut the damn door and leave!" Sergio demanded as he finished getting dressed.

"You don't have to talk to me like that!" Raquel snapped. "Damn rich people who think they can treat others like trash, I just wanted a damn glass of water!”

Sergio walked over to her and grabbed her by the arm on his way out of the room, "follow me!” He growled and Raquel jerked her arm out of his grip aggressively but followed him close behind.

He led her down hallways and stairs until they were finally in the kitchen. He poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.

"You can leave now, I will find my way back, I'm hungry too, I’ll look for something to eat." Raquel told him with disdain.

Sergio lingered his gaze on her, finally _really_ seeing her for the first time, she was a beautiful woman, he wasn’t going to deny it, _very_ beautiful. Her brown eyes matching her long-wavy brown hair, her lips, her skin, all of her was a perfect palette of brown and cream shadows, she was so aesthetically pleasant, the piercing in her nose gave her a relaxed vibe to her very severe expression, or at least she looked stern. He had caught glimpses of her throughout the day and she had a beautiful smile and serene features. He was the one who was causing that severity on her face.

She was beautiful, and she also seemed like a good woman, it wasn’t fair what her friend and his brother tried to do with her by pretending they get to know each other better, he wasn’t a good match for her, he wasn't a good match for anyone. Besides, he didn't want anything to do with _any_ woman ever again, no matter how beautiful or good she was, that was _never_ going to happen. So at least he would try to be nice to her, she was the least guilty in the situation.

Sergio asked her to take a seat, she did so on a long bench in front of a thick and age-worn wooden table that hung on four chains in each of the corners to accommodate the desired height.

She watched as Sergio moved in the kitchen, taking a pan from the hooks in the ceiling, above the table, placing it on the stove and pouring in some olive oil.

Was he going to make her dinner from scratch? She thought. Then he took a plate from the refrigerator and put what appeared to be a Spanish tortilla into the pan with the hot oil.

"You didn't need to make me dinner." Raquel said. "You could have told me where everything was and I could have done it myself."

But Sergio didn't say anything, he flipped the tortilla a couple of times, then put it in a wood plank, cut it in half and served one half for him and the other for Raquel, placing it in front of her along with a glass of water, then he took one glass jug, filled it with water and placed it in the center of the table, taking the seat opposite to her.

Raquel would never eat tortilla with water, but given the circumstances she decided to keep her mouth shut this time. ”Thank you." She muttered shyly.

Sergio put his fork aside and sighed. "Look, Raquel, that's your name, right?" She nodded, "I, I want to ask you for a big, no, a huge apology for the way I spoke to you a moment ago, I'm not like that, but understand me, out of nowhere someone opens the door of my room while I'm naked!"

"I apologize too, I shouldn't have opened the door without knocking first."

"Besides, this place is terrifying, I've never been the biggest fan of this place."

"You should’ve seen your face." Raquel said trying to stifle a giggle, but when he started laughing she did too.

At that moment something changed, it was as if all the tension that Raquel felt in Sergio’s presence vanished like in a snap of fingers and she could finally see what Andrés was referring to when he said that his brother wasn’t a bad person and that his intentions weren’t bad, he was just a shy man and considering that probably, like Alicia did with her, his brother bugged him with the ridiculous idea of the match making, she understood him even better, if she was upset, why would he not be?

Now she could appreciate him better, even noticing his kind smile and sparkling eyes underneath his black framed glasses.

"Again, I’m sorry. It was a very difficult week and I took it on who least deserved it, can we start over?" Sergio suggested.

"Of course we can." Raquel smiled warmly at him.

Sergio smiled too, taking a bite from his tortilla. "But now tell me, tell me what you do, I was very sharp with you earlier today when you and Alicia arrived, as I said, a lot of things on my mind."

“You don’t have to explain it to me, I understand, there are days when I can't even stand myself! And well, I'm an inspector for the CNP in Madrid."

"My brother told me something about you being a criminologist and psychologist too."

"Yeah!" She smiled, "I don’t practice as such, rather I use it as an addition to my profession as an inspector."

"Two degrees and also a police inspector, I’m impressed!”

Raquel laughed, “thanks! But now tell me, you said that you are a professor, economics and history, right?"

"That's right, also in Madrid."

"I thought here, in Italy!”

"No, in Madrid, at the _Universidad Complutense_."

"You're kidding! That's where I did my degree in psychology!"

“Really?! I know many psychology academics."

“Professor Fernández, clinical psychology and psychotherapy, do you know him?"

"I know him!" Sergio exclaimed covering his mouth full of food.

“Wow, if this is a small world! I thought you lived here in Italy too, in that case if one day you want we can meet for a drink,” when she noticed Sergio's silence she regretted it, maybe she was going too fast, “or maybe not."

"No, yes, it may be a good idea.” He smiled, although it didn’t reach his eyes.

She smiled at him and popped a bite of tortilla into her mouth. "May I ask you why economics and history? They are two such different careers."

“Not so much if you think about it. Since ancient times, the one who has the most money has been the one who tells the story. All those castles and monuments were built for the wealthy, no one is interested in knowing where the blacksmiths or bakers of the 15th century were, but they do line up to enter Versailles. The world powers will be the ones that will tell our story in the future. The books speak of empires, but not of countries in famine.”

Raquel was fascinated, hearing him talk so passionately about history and its relationship with the economy, his eyes were shining, it was almost like a child talking about his favorite action character. "That, that’s a very accurate observation, I would’ve never thought of it that way but you are right."

"I have always been fascinated by history, by knowing the place where I am standing on, because everything has a story to tell."

Sergio got up from his seat and went to the window overlooking one of the gardens. “Can you imagine all the stories that this place keeps? Everything it has to tell. This place has been so many things, a castle, a convent, an orphanage, a monastery, a country house... how many people have not walked through these corridors, who have sat in that same bench you are in, what would have become of those people, how they lived, how they died."

"A young man." She said in a dreamy voice, "sitting in this very bench."

"Watching the sunrise." Sergio added.

"Writing a letter to his family."

“A war is about to break out, and he has been called to serve.”

"He says goodbye to his family and cries, his tears fall on this very table." She said, running her hands across the lumpy wood surface.

They both shared a smile and a long look, _too_ _long_. Sergio hung his eyes on Raquel's lips until he realized his own actions and stared at the ground, meanwhile she felt that strange and giddy sensation inside her again.

"If you are so passionate about history, why economics too?" Raquel asked to change the weird vibe that had fallen over them.

"Because there is the money, my parents and I lived a very precarious life, economically, so it was to look for the money or die of hunger along with my parents."

"Aren't you filthy rich like your brother?!” Raquel frowned in surprise.

"Half brother. We are brothers on our mother's side, I’m Sergio Marquina, not de Fonollosa; we grew up together until he was around 10 years old, then his father took him from Madrid to Milan. We reconnected after his death and Andrés invited me to be part of the family business."

"Wow, I wouldn't have guessed, they never told me your last name so I assumed you were brothers from the same family. And based on the size of Alicia’s engagement ring, she told me it belonged to his mom.”

Sergio shrugged. “Well, for me he is my full brother, no matter what a surname says. And that ring was the one _his_ father gave our mother, my father couldn’t even afford one.”

Raquel smiled sympathetically. "And... what do you think of the wedding?"

Sergio seemed reluctant to bring up the subject. "In that matter I have neither voice nor vote."

“Neither do I, but I would like to know your opinion, I have mine."

"Which is?" He trailed off.

“I didn’t agree at first, but if Alicia is happy, I am happy. If she wants to grow old with Andrés, it’s her life and I have nothing to object, just being there for her."

Sergio couldn’t ignore the " _grow old with Andrés_ " and immediately assumed that his brother hadn’t told Alicia about his illness. He had an inner battle over whether or not to tell Raquel the truth, it was his brother's business and although it was only fair that they knew, it wasn’t his place.

After they both finished eating, they returned to their rooms. Sergio carried a jug of water and a glass while Raquel lit the way with her cellphone.

"Well, back to your room, Miss Murillo." Sergio said handing the jug and the glass to Raquel.

"Thanks, for the food and for the chat."

“It was nothing. Before you go in, promise me that you won't open doors again without knocking first."

She laughed out loud. "I promise!”

"Ok."

"Good night, professor Marquina.”

"Good night, inspector Murillo."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Serquel interaction!!! 😍


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, new chapter!!
> 
> Thanks to all the people that have left me a review/kudos, even if you don't believe, it meas *a lot* to me, so thank you so much, and again, please, let me know what you think 🥺I want to be sure you are liking (or not) this fic 💕
> 
> Thanks to Em for proof reading! 💜
> 
> Enjoy!

> _**Am I holding on to something that's already gone?** _

* * *

"So... you are definitely leaving." Andrés complained to Sergio, leaning against the doorframe of his room while he packed his things to return to Madrid.

"I told you I would only be here for the weekend, why are you acting so offended?!”

"I thought you'd change your mind, I wanted you to come with us, I'll take the ladies to the vineyards and the winery to show them the winemaking process, have some fun grape treading, maybe get drunk."

Sergio sighed in exasperation, tossing a shirt into his suitcase. "I have class tomorrow! We are near the end I cannot leave my students without their lessons."

“It's just a couple more days! Even Raquel agreed to stay and she also has an important job.”

"Well, I'm not Raquel!” Sergio snapped.

Andrés walked slowly towards Sergio, smiling and glaring mischievously at him, rubbing his hands together. "And tell me, what did you think of Raquel? She is beautiful, don't you think?"

Sergio shook his head, he knew where his brother was going. “Very. Very beautiful, _and_ smart too."

"I like her." Andres declared. "I can see why Alicia loves her so much, she is a good woman, beautiful, hardworking."

“Stop there!” Sergio asked him, gesturing with his hand, “I know where you are going and I told you and I will repeat it to you. I am _not_ interested in any relationship, I like Raquel, but only as a person, I don't want anything with her, with her or with anyone."

Andres sat on the bed and looked at his brother with solemnity and even some pity. Five years had passed since _that_ event and he still had that fear of loving and being loved. 

He was sad for his brother, but also upset, before _that_ woman he was a completely different man, he had no qualms about showing his feelings and shouting to the world that he was in love and that he loved his life, but that day _everything_ changed. Nobody saw it coming, maybe that's why it was so traumatic.

"Do you still love her? Do you still think about her?" Andrés asked in a soft voice.

Sergio looked at his brother, holding the lump in his throat. “Maybe." He sniffed and adjusted his glasses, then cleared his throat. ”I think about her _every_ single day, but I don't know how I feel about her anymore."

"It's been five years, Sergio, five years since she—"

"Please." Sergio begged and took a few seconds to collect his thoughts again, every mention of _her_ always shook him to the core. "I loved Ágata like I have _never_ loved anyone in my life, she was the love of my life, I will _never_ love anyone else. _Ever_.”

"The love of your life who left you at the altar."

"I told you not to mention it!" Sergio yelled heartsick, as he did every time someone wanted to bring the subject.

"Why not?! Everyone knows it, Sergio. Everyone knows that Ágata left you at the altar, when it was supposed to be the happiest day of your lives, it’s just you who is still stuck in denial. Wake up, brother! Life is not going to wait for you. Do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?!”

"I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than fooling on a woman with the false promise that I'll be with her for life."

Andrés laughed cynically. "So you think I'm lying to Alicia."

"I don't think so, I know it, Raquel told me, that her friend wants to _grow old with you_. You didn't tell her, did you? You didn't tell Alicia that, with luck, you have one year left."

What none of the Marquina-Fonollosa brothers knew was that Raquel had came to Sergio's door _just_ in time to hear that last part. She was in shock, she had no idea about that, and from the way Alicia was acting she guessed that she also had no idea that Andrés was a dying man.

Raquel didn't know what to do, she didn't know whether to go in and confront Andrés for lying to her best friend, or go to her and tell her the whole truth. It was a very sensitive subject, something that probably was _not_ her place to say, but Alicia had suffered so much with her breakup with Germán, she didn’t deserve to suffer the loss of a loved one again, this time to death.

Raquel quietly turned around and hurried towards the room that Alicia shared with Andrés, she was looking at herself in the full-length mirror, only dressed in fine black lace lingerie, trying to decide between two outfits for the day.

“Hey, _cariño_!" Alicia smiled when she saw Raquel enter the room, she was so concentrated on her outfits that she ignored her best friend's stern expression, "what do you think? The red dress or the black one? Andrés will take us to Florence for dinner, I want to look spectacular!” It wasn't until she turned around to show Raquel the dresses that she noticed her expression. “What's happening?"

Raquel didn’t know how to start, she paced back and forth, trying to find the right words. "Did you... did you know that Andrés is dying?!” She blurted out, regretting the abruptness of her words a bit, but she had to get it out.

Alicia tensed, put the dresses on the bed, took her silk robe and put it on. Then she walked to the dresser, picked up her box of cigarettes, and lit up one. "Who told you?”

Raquel gaped at her. "So did you know?!"

"Of course I knew! He told me from the very first moment." She exhaled the smoke.

“And will you still marry him?! Alicia, he is dying!” Raquel cried out.

“AND?! I knew it, I agreed to marry him even knowing it, why are you more worried about it than I am?!” Alicia protested.

Suddenly the realization fell on Raquel. “Is that why you quit the police? To spend the last moments with him!”

“You can say that." Alicia answered nonchalantly, as if the topic they were talking about wasn’t _death_.

“You are going to lose him. You are going to lose someone else and this time it will be forever." Raquel replied with a flat voice, she sounded harsh, but she knew that if she put in more of her own feelings she was going to break right here.

“I'm aware of that, thank you very much!” Alicia responded, blowing the smoke in Raquel's face. "We... we will start seeing a thanatologist every week."

"And you think that will fix everything?!” Raquel retorted.

“Well, at least we will try! I love him, Raquel, and I knew about his condition when I accepted him, but what do you know about love?!” Alicia sneered.

"Oh, so now you're going to bring my relationship into all of this!”

"Well, yes!" Alicia yelled, “yes, I will, because you come here and want to act all righteous and criticize _my_ life and _my_ relationship and see yours!” She made a scornful gesture to Raquel, “tied to a toxic and loveless relationship, and all because of what? Because you can't force yourself to finish it, because if you do, you feel like you're disrespecting— ”

“DO NOT BRING _HIM_ INTO THIS, TOO!" Raquel cried.

"I wasn't going to.” Alicia replied solemnly, straightening her shoulders and feeling _really_ guilty, she shouldn't have brought _him_ into the discussion, but the words were already out of her mouth, and she felt fire running through her veins. “I was just talking facts, facts that you told me yourself. You are as fucked up as I am, Raquel, so don't try to play your morality card with me, it doesn't suit you." Alicia stubbed out her cigarette in a glass ashtray, took the dresses off the bed again, and went back to the mirror.

"So this is what you have thought of me all this time? While you told me with all your chest that you supported me in my decision to stay with Alberto, behind my back you criticized and reproved me."

"Oh please, Raquel!" Alicia snapped, “I have _never_ lied to you, you know that I have _never_ approved of your relationship with Alberto, and don't be a hypocrite, because that’s exactly what you are doing, you tell me to my face that you are with me, that you support me when I know you don't agree with my marriage at all!”

Raquel looked at Alicia trying to contain the fury that ran through her body, her jaw trembling with rage. "You know? It’s very common that in every friendship there is always a dominant one, however, with us I thought we were even—“

"Why do you always do this?!" Alicia yelled, “Why do you always want to play the psychologist with me, Raquel? Instead of playing psychoanalysis with me, do it with yourself! We know you need it. Now please, leave me the fuck alone and close the door behind you!”

Raquel said nothing, took her pride and anger and left the room closing the door behind her with a loud bang. Alicia threw the dresses across the room trying not to scream, but tears ran quickly down her cheeks.

Raquel walked aimlessly through the corridors of the ex-monastery, she just wanted to hide, so that no one would see her fall apart. Alicia's words had hurt deep in her soul and in her heart, she had _no_ _right_ to bring her past into all this mess, she had trusted her because she was her best friend, her confidant, almost her sister, the fact that she had mentioned _him_ under these circumstances had been _so_ painful.

When she finally found a secluded corner in the fountain garden, she sat down, breathing fast and deeply, trying to control the panic attack that was building in her. Raquel wanted to run and scream but at the same time she was paralyzed.

She closed her eyes tightly, images of her past playing in her head making the tears run faster and faster down her cheeks. She thought that she had everything under control, that she had already made peace with it and that although she was never going to forget it, she had already learned to live with it, but no. 

The mere mention of _him_ was enough for her to crumble into a thousand pieces, perhaps that was why she was so reluctant to bring it up, for fear of not being able to control it, for fear that if she unleashed all her pent up suffering, she was never going to be able to get out of it.

" _Raquel!_ " Sergio rushed over to her when he noticed the condition she was in.

Raquel was having difficulty breathing, Sergio didn’t know whether to leave her alone or help her, the poor thing looked so bad, she was sweating and shuddering. In a sudden movement Raquel grabbed Sergio's hand tightly. He tensed but did _nothing_ , she was clearly going through an episode of panic or anxiety. The more seconds passed, Raquel's breathing became more erratic, Sergio started to worry, the color drained from her face, he _had_ to do something.

"Raquel, look at me!” He asked her, but she just shook her head as she struggled to breathe. So without further ado, Sergio wrapped his arms around her, holding her _tightly_ , at first she resisted, but little by little she calmed down and her breathing slowed.

Raquel buried her face in Sergio's chest, feeling the warmth and protection of his arms around her and for a moment she no longer felt so alone, so scared. It was something weird, no one had ever done that for her, but it felt good, there in his arms, she felt good.

“Breath, breath." Sergio muttered with his lips _very_ close to her head, breathing in the sweet perfume of her hair.

When Raquel's panic attack finally subsided, she didn't want to pull back from his embrace, but she knew she _should_. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry you had to witness this, I, I, I didn’t—" Raquel started to apologize but Sergio cut her short.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"I am so embarrassed." Raquel ducked her head, wiping her cheeks still wet with tears.

"Why? You shouldn’t. I get you... that, the hug... my mother used to do that with me when I was a child and went through the same crises, they always worked."

"Hugs always help." Raquel smiled sadly at him.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah. It's been so long since I had a crisis of this type, but, I had a fight with Alicia, we both said ugly things and… she brought something she shouldn't have." Raquel noticed when Sergio swallowed and adjusted his glasses, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Sorry, you probably don't care, it's just that—“

"No, no, no, it's not that, if you want to tell me I can listen to you, but I think it's funny that I also had an argument with my brother and we also said things that we shouldn't. He also brought my past into that."

"They are a pair of assholes, no wonder they’re getting married.” Raquel sniffed and they both laughed at her words.

"I would love to stay longer chatting with you, but I'm afraid I have to go back to Madrid." Sergio said, looking at his wristwatch, surely the driver was already waiting to take him to the airport.

“Are you leaving?" Raquel asked, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"I have to give lessons tomorrow."

"It was a good weekend, all in all."

"It was, it was really nice meeting you, Raquel.” Sergio stood up and offered her his hand, she took it and they both shared a goodbye, she wanted to go further, she wanted to say goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, but she decided it would be better not. Sergio gave her a little bow with his head and walked past her.

"Sergio, wait!" Raquel stopped him and he turned around.

"Yeah?"

“Do you think you could give me a ride back to Madrid? I really don't want to be in this place another second." She said, almost pleadingly.

Sergio smiled understandingly at her and nodded. "Of course I can. But hurry up, the driver is waiting."

Raquel hurried back to her bedroom and packed her few belongings in record time, not even worrying about folding her clothes or separating them from her shoes, she just threw everything into her suitcase and left the room and the place without even telling Alicia, who was there with Andrés in the foyer to say goodbye to Sergio.

"Are you leaving too?!" Andrés exclaimed in disappointment when he saw Raquel with her suitcase, however Alicia didn't say anything, she knew she was going to do that, she knew her too well.

"I'm sorry, something came up unexpectedly, I have to go back to Madrid." Raquel apologized. "But thank you very much for this weekend, I hope to see you soon."

"You will, I will return to Madrid with this beauty." He brought Alicia to him with his arm, taking her by the hip. "Then we will all come back for the wedding."

"I cannot wait!” Raquel said with an undertone of fake happiness.

"We can't wait either, Raquel." Sergio intervened. "Let's go!”

"Alicia." That was all Raquel said with an acid tone in her voice before turning around and following Sergio to the car.

So much had happened in such a short time that it had left Raquel completely drained mentally and emotionally. She just wanted to be back home, hide under the blankets of her bed and sleep for an entire week.

All the way to the airport she remained in silence looking out the window, throwing occasional glances at Sergio through the rear-view mirror, he was also looking out the window and seemed _very_ deep in his own mind because even his brow was furrowed, whatever he was thinking about had him completely absorbed. She wondered what was going through his head.

 _Ágata_.

Ágata was what was going through his head, her and the day she broke his heart, the same day he vowed _never_ to open it to anyone else.

He thought of his guests, all elegantly dressed and gathered at the church, his brother smiling on the arm of his fourth wife, the guests waiting for the bride to arrive and admiring her along with the dress. Smiles that turned into whispers when 10-20 minutes passed by and she still wasn’t there, he walked down the aisle to the entrance, standing on the steps looking both ways of the street, waiting to see the car that would bring his love. He called her but no one answered, he started to worry, fearing that something had happened to her on the way to church.

Later, the looks of joy and expectation turned into looks of concern and pity when 40 minutes passed by and Silene, Ágata's best friend, entered the church dressed in denim shorts, a hoodie and combat boots, walked up to the altar where Sergio was waiting and broke the news to him.

Ágata wasn’t coming.

She wasn't sure she wanted to get married so she was calling off the wedding.

Sergio remembered how he ran out of the church, took the car that was supposed to take them later to the reception and drove to Ágata's apartment, he knocked on the door over and over again for several minutes until she finally opened it. She was dressed in her pajamas, her hair disheveled and dark circles under her puffy eyes, a sign that she had been crying.

He remembered how he begged her to think about it, that if she wanted they would postpone the wedding or that there would be no wedding at all, that they would live in a free union, that he would accept it, but please to _not_ do that, but it was useless, her decision was taken, she asked him to please _never_ look for her again in his life and closed the door in his face, while he cried for their broken dreams, for _his_ broken dreams.

Sergio looked in the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Raquel, she was as lost in thought as he was. He remembered the episode before they left the ex-monastery, she looked so fragile, so scared and it stirred something in him that he hadn’t felt for a long time, he wanted to take care of her, although he was well aware that most probably she didn’t need anyone to take care of her or rescue her.

Also, he didn't want to get _so_ involved with her, he didn't want misunderstandings, he didn't want to give her false signs or for her to take his attentions the wrong way. Sergio knew what his brother and Alicia were up to, but that wasn’t going to happen. And there, he promised, he would _not_ get involved with Raquel Murillo, _never_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it all the way down here, THANK YOU!!
> 
> Now, tell me what you think!!
> 
> What do you think about this new info about Sergio's past?? 😱
> 
> Do you think we will get to see Ágata in the future?? 👀
> 
> PLEASE, let me know your thoughts!! 💕


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 👋🏼
> 
> IDK if anyone was waiting for a new update, if you were, thanks for your interest!! And sorry for the delay, life's been chaotic, but here is the new chapter!! 🥰
> 
> Thanks to Em as always for proof reading 💗
> 
> ****TW// Mentions of death****
> 
> (There will be a chapter that I consider will be quite intense, it will be properly TW, BUT, if you feel I should add more, even in past chapters, please, let me know. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable while reading 🥺)

> _**Hanging by a thread, waiting for a hand to pull me up...** _

* * *

A week had passed by since the last time Raquel had heard from Alicia, _and_ from Sergio.

After they both arrived in Madrid, he accompanied her to take a taxi and since then she hadn’t heard from him again, it wasn’t that she expected him to call her, he didn’t ask for her phone number nor did she ask for his, besides, he had been very distant throughout the flight.

She didn't really want to talk that day either, so she appreciated the silence, but then, he just said goodbye with a bland shake of hands and that was it. A week later, Raquel couldn't stop thinking about it.

"You are being ridiculous, Raquel." She muttered to herself.

Why was she giving so much importance to Sergio's indifference? She thought.

She couldn't stop thinking about how he had helped her during her panic attack, how he had wrapped her tightly in his arms, it had been so comforting, so healing. Did she crave more?

Raquel flopped on the sofa staring at the ceiling, the apartment in complete darkness and only the street light illuminating a bit. She was alone, she had returned to an empty apartment and was still alone, Alberto was out of town, in an alleged investigation. She didn’t ask for more details and he didn’t give them either.

Deep down she was relieved, she wasn't in the mood for more fights. And certainly these days without him had been like stepping out for fresh air.

Then her mind drifted away, thinking about her present, her future, more precisely her present _and_ her future with Alberto, everyone told her, everyone saw it, including her and surely him too. Their relationship was dying off, their string had stretched so much that it was close to being broken, if it wasn't already.

Raquel sat up and looked at the sculpture of the Archangel Miguel that Andrés had sent to her doorstep the very next day she had left Italy.

And she smiled, and if it hadn't been for the doorbell, she would have cried, too.

She wanted to ignore whoever was knocking on her door. She checked the hour on her cell phone, it was just past 8pm, who could it be? She sighed and got up to see.

Glancing through the peephole, she saw Alicia on the other side. She felt a chill running through her body making her shiver. She could see that she was bringing three boxes of pizza from her favorite place and two six-packs of her favorite beer. Raquel remained silent behind the door.

"Raquel!" Alicia called out from the other side of the door. "Raquel, I know you are there." But Raquel was still silent, motionless. “Come on! I brought pizza and beer!” Nothing.

Deep down she knew that it had taken everything inside Alicia to show up at her door, Raquel knew her, she was a very proud woman. She wanted to open the door, but couldn't help but remember her words, they had hurt so much.

"Raquel, don't be proud! I come in peace!” Alicia kept saying.

Raquel almost laughed. Proud? Me? Well, a little, yes; she thought. But then she recognized that she had said some nasty things too.

“I brought cannolis, from Italy… I also brought cannabis. Cannolis and cannabis!” Alicia whispered with her face pressed to the door and just at that moment Raquel opened it. "I knew the weed would convince you!”

Raquel tried to keep a serious face. "It wasn't that.” She said at the same time she turned on the table lamp.

"So?" Alicia frowned in expectation.

Raquel opened the door wide to let her in. Alicia didn’t hesitate, went inside and put everything on the coffee table and turned to Raquel. It was so weird, she didn't know how to proceed, they had never fought like that, to the point of spending days without speaking to each other. "I'm an idiot, right?” Alicia grimaced.

Raquel watched her, she really looked pained and willing to seek her forgiveness. "Very." She answered sternly.

“Is there some... I don't know, forgiveness for me in your heart?" She asked, looking as vulnerable as she had never looked in her life.

Raquel let a few seconds pass, "show me those pizzas," she said, trying to sound serious again, but a smile was visible in the corners of her lips.

Alicia chuckled, much of it in relief. She knew Raquel and knew how proud she could be. She opened the pizza boxes to show her one by one, “ _Margherita_ , _Pugliese_ and your favorite _quattro_ _formaggi_. And I also brought cannolis,” she held out a paper bag and then pulled another bag from her coat pocket, “and top quality, blood-free, ethical weed.”

"I'm impressed." She gave her an _almost_ smile.

"Look, Raquel," Alicia started, this time seriously, "I acted like an idiot with you, I said things that I shouldn't have... I... I..." It was being so hard for her to find the right words, she was Alicia Sierra, she never asked for forgiveness, she was never on the wrong side. But it was Raquel, her best friend, her almost sister and both had hurt each other, and she had already taken the first step by letting her into her home, it was now her turn. "I'm an idiot ok?!” She blurted, "I hate myself for the way I behaved and I am so, _so_ sorry and if you want me to kneel I will!”

"You don't have to kneel," Raquel replied in a soft voice, "we both said hurtful things and I owe you an apology, too."

"So... everything okay?"

Raquel opened her arms for Alicia and they both sealed their reconciliation. “Now can you turn on the lights?! This looks like a cave!” Alicia exclaimed.

Raquel chuckled and she did it, then both friends sat on pillows on the floor in front of the coffee table to eat, drink and smoke from what Alicia had brought.

"How was Italy?" Raquel asked her friend putting a huge piece of _quattro formaggi_ pizza in her mouth.

"Terrible." Alicia replied.

Raquel frowned, “why? Did something happen with Andrés?!”

“No, no, no, we are excellent, it was just… I hated the idea of being upset with you,” Raquel gave her friend a sweet smile, “but hey, anyway, I'm happy that we are okay now."

“Me too. And sorry, sorry for what I said about you and Andrés, you are right, it’s your life and you know how you want to live it… I just hate the idea of seeing you suffer again."

“I know that _that_ will happen, Raquel, but in the end, who knows when their time will come? I might be hit by a bus tomorrow, or now, I could choke on a piece of pizza and it's over. I have chosen to be happy with Andrés the time he has left in this world, and then... well, life will tell."

Raquel gave Alicia an understanding smile. Sometimes she wished she were as brave as she was, to take life with both hands.

"And Alberto? Where is he?" Alicia asked. Raquel shifted in her seat and stuffed another piece of pizza into her mouth, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It's not that,” she said with her mouth full of food, then opened a beer and gave it a big gulp, “truth is that I don't know how we are, when I came back from Italy he wasn’t home and until now he’s still out of town, he only let me know through a text and we haven’t texted nor spoken again."

"Well, you should text him, ask how he is? You know.”

"Yeah, maybe I will."

Alicia could see that there was something else that was bugging her friend, but she didn't want to keep pressing her buttons, they had just made peace so if her friend wanted to tell her what was going on, good, and if not, good too.

"Oh, I see you did get the sculpture," Alicia pointed to the sculpture of Archangel Miguel on the windowsill, a white candle on the side, of course, "Andrés asked me for your address to deliver it to you."

Raquel smiled broadly, but then something in her clicked and she looked at Alicia with a curious expression. “Alicia… did you… did you say something to Andrés? Something about… ” She trailed off but Alicia knew immediately what she meant.

"NO! No, no, no, no Raquel, I swear to you that I didn’t, nor will I. I will _never_ talk about Miguel with anyone other than you, do you really think I told him about him?"

"Not! But... forget it. It's just that it seemed _too_ _much_ of a coincidence that he sent me precisely _that_ sculpture."

"Well, he told me that he saw you looking at it with such self-absorption and emotion that he just wanted to give you a gift, he thought you would like it."

Raquel swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding slowly, tears stinging her eyes. She looked at the sculpture again. "I miss him _every_ second of _every_ day of my life." She sighed shakily.

Alicia came close next to her friend, passing her arm around her shoulders, bringing her close to her, Raquel rested her head on her shoulder.

"You're right." Raquel spoke after a moment in silence. "Miguel is my _only_ union to Alberto." Alicia didn’t consider it a union, more like a tie, but she would never say that out loud, "Do you think I'm ridiculous for that?"

"No, those are your feelings and they are valid, but I _do_ believe that you deserve to be happy," Alicia shifted in her seat, looking at Raquel and taking her hands, " _cariño_ , no matter what happens between you and Alberto, no matter if you are together or not, you will always, listen to me, you will _always_ be Miguel's _mom_ , ok? You carried him, you birthed him and you held him until his last breath and _nothing_ and _no_ _one_ can take that away from you, being or not with Alberto is not going to honor or insult his memory, don't you think Miguel would have wanted to see you happy?”

Raquel let out a sob and threw herself into Alicia's arms, she didn’t hesitate to take her and hug her tightly. It shattered her heart to see her best friend break in front of her, as she did every time Miguel came up in any conversation.

It had been a dreadful experience for Raquel, she had been in a relationship with Alberto for four or five years when she found out she was pregnant, it was something that took them both by surprise, Raquel had never been vocal about wanting or not to have children and in more than one occasion Alberto had made it clear that he did _not_ want them, not to mention that Raquel was on contraceptives, so yes, it was a huge surprise and a huge dilemma, to have it or not?

Raquel and Alberto talked about it, analyzed their options, although for him there was only one, in the end they decided to try it, or, rather, Raquel decided to try it, to have her child.

She was scared at first, but then she got used to the idea and was over the moon, Alberto for his part, always maintained a neutral posture, although more inclined to _not_ want any of that. Everyone around her noticed it, except for Raquel, she was wrapped in her mantle of happiness to notice it.

Everything was going great, until the 23 weeks ultrasound, there everything fell apart. Things happened in a matter of days, one day Raquel was full of happiness, she would finally know if she was expecting a girl or a boy, she could finally go shopping and decorate the nursery, and the next moment, she was making an appointment to end the pregnancy. Her little boy had been diagnosed with osteogenesis imperfecta type 2.

Raquel was only given two options, carry the pregnancy to term and wait for her little boy to live a few hours, _hopefully_ a few days, or, terminate the pregnancy.

She didn't know what to do, Alberto had turned his back on her, hiding under the excuse that it was “ _too much pain to handle it_ ”, so only Mariví and Alicia were there for her, they knew that deep down that damn man was relieved. When she knew that even within her, her boy was suffering, she made the tough decision to end the pregnancy. End her son’s pain and, instead, carry that pain for the rest of her life.

"You deserve all the happiness in the world." Alicia said to Raquel, her own voice filled with emotion. Even for her it had been difficult. "You deserve to live, to love and be loved."

After a few minutes of crying, Raquel pulled back and looked Alicia directly in the eyes, wiping her tears with her hand and putting on a stern face. “I'll do it." She said as firmly as possible, "I'll do it, I'll break up with Alberto.”

Under other circumstances Alicia would have jumped up screaming with joy for her friend, but that time she just offered her an encouraging smile, placing her hand on her cheek. "You will be fine, and I will be with you, for whatever you need, _always_."

"I don't know how I'll do it yet, but I will."

"Just say it, ‘I don't want anything else with you’"

"I wish it were that easy, Alberto..." She didn't want to tell her how aggressive he had become in recent months, maybe not physically, but his screams did scare her. “it just, it has been many years."

"So what? He’s an asshole, what's more, what you should do is send all his trash to wherever he is now, a break up text and change the door lock. This apartment is yours after all!”

Raquel considered it for a few seconds, that totally sounded like something Alicia would do, but she wasn’t Alicia, she would wait for Alberto to be back to have an in-depth conversation with him and once and for all free herself, free them both.

"I have so much to talk about with him to just empty his part of the closet and send him a dozen boxes with his belongings!”

"Talk to him? What do you have to talk to him about?! It's not like you're looking to fix things, is it?"

Raquel rolled her eyes, sometimes for Alicia things seemed to be very simple, "I have to do it! I have many things to say to him."

"As you wish.” Alicia shrugged.

Then Raquel took a cannoli from the paper bag, she took the stuffing with her index finger and popped it into her mouth, moaning as her taste buds rejoiced in the succulent cream, but then she zoned out.

"What" Alicia frowned in confusion at her friend's sudden change of mood.

Raquel shook her head, "I can't believe it's going to end, that I'm going to break up with Alberto, after almost 10 years, I... I will have to start again, I can't help feeling that I wasted 10 years of my life."

"Don't see it that way, see it like... like a learning, you've learned that you deserve more than this."

"It only took me ten years!" Raquel made fun of herself but the undertone of sadness was clear in her voice. “But that's what I have to do,” she looked at the cannoli in her hand, “for months I have felt my life is crumbling down in my hands,” she smashed the pastry, closing her hand in a fist, then she he spilled the crumbs on the coffee table, "I feel like my life is falling apart and and I can't do anything to stop it."

"But you will, better late than never."

“Still, I can't brush off the feeling. I could’ve done so many things in those years, I could…”She trailed off and looked back at the sculpture.

"You still can! For God’s sake, you are 35 years old, you speak as if you were an old woman!"

Raquel shrugged making a dismissive sound with her mouth, then she took the weed and started to roll a cigarette, lit it, giving it a long smoke, "I have evolved beyond the desire to be a mother." She said, coughing lightly, “I don't want people to see me as the needy, unambitious woman who all she wants in life is a man to make her a child, which is not the case, but you know how fucking society is." She gave her cigarette another long puff.

Oh, here she came, Alicia thought. Raquel and her _high-rants_. “A woman cannot wish to have a child because then she has no ambitions and has been dominated by the oppressive system,” another puff, “but then she cannot say that she does _not_ want to have children because then she is unnatural and not woman enough, why does it have to be one or the other?! Why can't a woman _want_ a child _and_ a family?! Why can't a woman _not_ want a child and prefer her career?! Why can't a woman wish for a child _and_ have her dream job?!” Another puff, “Since when is having a family, your dream job, or both a crime?! And why are women the ones criticizing that?! Where is the whole women supporting women?!”

Raquel was out of breath at the end of her rant and Alicia just looked at her with a puzzled expression at the randomness of her speech. But she also knew it was rooted in grief at having lost Miguel and how disrespected she was by her male colleagues at the police.

“But… you can have both. Don't let what society thinks stop you from fulfilling your dreams, no matter how cliché they are. _Cariño_ , you are a badass, _la hija de puta mayor del reino_ , as the press once called you, do you remember?" They both laughed at the memory, “don't ‘ _evolve_ ’ for what people will say. They are your dreams, whatever they are."

"I didn’t evolve because of society, I mean it, the last thing I need right now is a child, _much_ _less_ a man, I still haven't gotten rid of the one I have." She said, lying down on the carpet staring at the ceiling and taking another deep smoke to her cigarette, already feeling light headed and very, _very_ chilled.

Alicia couldn't help but laugh. "So, Andrés's brother..."

Raquel rolled her eyes, "What do you and Andrés pretend with Sergio and me?!”

"Nothing!"

"So? What is this insistence? The man clearly doesn't want _anything_ with me, he barely said goodbye when we got to Madrid.”

"What? Didn't you ask for his phone number?"

"Nah! Neither did he ask mine."

“And what did you do all the way here? What did you talk about?!” Alicia asked in amazement, she did notice that Sergio was quite shy, but she didn't think _that_ much.

“About nothing. I wasn’t in the mood to talk and apparently neither was he, something Andrés said bothered him."

“But, like… nothing? Nothing at all?!” Alicia couldn't believe that they hadn't said a single word to each other during the entire flight, especially since they had traveled alone on Andres's jet.

"Nothing." Raquel sat up straight, “and guess what?" She said with a mischievous smile, Alicia made a face at her to continue, "I saw him _completely_ naked." Raquel giggled.

"WHAT?! NO WAY?!” Alicia yelled.

Raquel nodded energetically, "I was looking for the kitchen, but first I was snooping around the rooms and one of those turned out to be his and he was naked."

"And what did you do?! What did he do?!" Alicia asked eager to know more.

"First he yelled at me very upset, but then he took me to the kitchen, reheated me a tortilla that he had made that morning, apologized and we had a nice chat before returning to the bedroom."

"DID YOU RETURN TO HIS ROOM?!" Alicia shrieked.

"No, you idiot! He to his and I to mine!”

"Oooh" Alicia was disappointed. “And how are things, you know, down there?”

Raquel brought her thumb and index to her lips, kissing them and tossing them dramatically away. "Top quality man. Who would have thought that such man was under that nerdy look.”

"You see?! I'm telling you, Raquel, you have to up your game with that man!”

Raquel gave her a disapproving gesture, “What part of I don't _want_ , nor _need_ another man do you _not_ understand? Besides, if he wants something with me, _he’s_ the one that has to up his game, not me!” She frowned.

“Oh, so if he hits on you, would you consider—”

“Let it go, Alicia! Sergio and I won’t have _anything_ , not today, not _ever_ , do you understand? _Never!_ ”

But Alicia didn’t know the word “ _never”_ , she was determined to play cupid with Raquel and Sergio…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we know who's that mysterious "him" of Raquel!! 
> 
> What do you think about Raquel's past? 🥺
> 
> How do you think her break up with Alberto will go? 👀
> 
> And, what do you think Alicia will do to bring Raquel and Sergio closer? 😏
> 
> PLEASE, let me know what you think, I love reading and answering all of your comments 🥰


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter!! 
> 
> If you were waiting an update, thank you so much for your interest 🥰I hope you like this new update 💞
> 
> Enjoy, and please, let me know what you think!
> 
> **There's a little something if you reach the end of the chapter** 👀
> 
> And thanks Em for the proofreading! 💖

> **_¿Qué será? que la miro, y del mundo material así me olvido..._ **
> 
> * * *

_“Yes, I know. I know! Calm down, Sergio! Yes. Yes. Goodbye!”_

Alicia listened from the room as Andrés spoke with Sergio from the terrace of his luxurious apartment in Milan. At the same time, her cell phone screen flashed, showing a picture of her and Raquel with an incoming call from the latter.

She pretended she was watching television, but she knew that the _little_ bomb had exploded, that _little_ bomb that she had thrown to make Sergio and Raquel get to know each other better.

Alicia turned off her cell phone and continued to pretend to watch television when Andrés returned to the room.

"It was Sergio, right?" Alicia grimaced.

"Yeah, and he wasn't happy at all, I think we went too far."

“But why is he upset? Even if we hadn't set them up, it was also a favor, we really couldn't be there!"

"I think I know where this is coming from, how didn't I think about it before?!”

"Think what?" Alicia frowned.

Andrés made himself comfortable on the bed, sitting next to her and drawing her closer with his arm, giving her a kiss on the top of the head as she snuggled into the warmth of his chest. "Normally I don’t talk about this with anyone, they are very private affairs of my brother, but... I know that sooner or later the information will come to you once you become my wife, so I want you to hear it from me first."

Alicia pulled back and looked at him, “You’re scaring me, is everything okay?"

"Yes... well, more or less... the thing is, it all started when Sergio met this woman, Ágata was her name…"

* * *

_THREE HOURS BEFORE_

Sergio was in the empty classroom, waiting for his students to arrive, preparing his next and luckily last class of the day. He loved Fridays, yes, his mornings were chaotic with classes starting at 7am and one after another, but once the last one was over, at 1pm, he had the whole day off to rest, grade his students' papers or paperwork from the vineyard and the winery or simply relax at home with a drink and a good sirtaki.

As he prepared the projector and his flashcards with the subject of the day, his mind drifted away, _far away_. Precisely to the moment when he said goodbye to Raquel at the airport the day they both arrived from Italy, two weeks ago, since then he hadn’t heard anything from her, he had seen Alicia and his brother before they both left for Milan, but none of them had mentioned her and he hadn't been brave enough to ask about her either.

He couldn't stop mulling over his actions that day, he had been so distant, so… so sharp with her, just as it had been the first time he met her, sending to hell his apology. He had been so rude and now he worried about what idea Raquel might have of him, but, why did he care so much? He asked himself at the same time that he repeated _"I will_ not _get involved with Raquel Murillo."_

And so his mind went on and on, whirling and getting nowhere, asking himself the same question and repeating the same words in an endless cycle.

“ _Profesor, profesor!_ "

A quiet voice in the distance pulled him out of his thoughts, when he reacted he found the classroom full of students, all in their place, waiting for him to start the day's lesson while he was sitting on the desk with his flashcards completely crumpled between his hands.

Upon realizing the situation, he immediately felt the heat rise from his chest to his face, feeling extremely embarrassed, that had never happened to him, never. _Get out of my mind, Murillo!_ He thought, then he started his class, shamefaced and without his flashcards.

Two hours later, once his last lesson of the day was over, Sergio could finally breathe in relief. He always felt so accomplished whenever a long week of lessons ended, he loved teaching and he loved the enthusiasm of his students. While he was gathering his stuff and putting them in his briefcase, his cell phone went off. It was Alicia. He frowned, but answered.

"Yes?"

" _CUÑADITO_!" Alicia yelled with great joy.

Sergio's frown deepened, but still he was polite, "Alicia, what a surprise!”

"How are you? Are you busy?"

"No, not at all, I was just finishing my last lesson of the day, what can I do for you?"

"Great! And indeed, there is something you can do for me."

Sergio immediately regretted having said that, "Tell me, how can I help you?"

“Look, it turns out that I had an appointment today to see some things about the wedding, but you know, your brother brought me by surprise to Milan and I won't be able to be there, do you think you can do me the favor of going? It's nothing big! It's just signing a couple of orders from the wedding planner, you know, flowers, decorations, food, can you?"

"And why didn't you look for a wedding planner in Italy if the wedding will be there?!” Sergio questioned her, a bit irritated at the lack of practicality and organization in the way his brother and Alicia were planning their wedding.

"They are Italian! Well, they have branches throughout Europe and I am planning in Madrid. But whatever! can you go?”

Sergio could hear Alicia's despair from the other end of the phone, he wanted to say _no_ so badly, but he didn't know how to do it without hurting her feelings, besides, this was important for her and for his brother. "Of course I can, send me the address."

“You are the best, _cuñadito_! I’m sending you the address by message, thank you!"

"You’re very welcomed." Sergio replied with a tense smile on his lips and then hung up the call, thanking god Alicia wasn't seeing him or she would realize how much he _didn't_ want to make her that favor.

Later that day and in another point of Madrid, Raquel was furious, it had been a crazy morning, her most recent case got more and more complicated and twisted, and it wasn’t even 2pm, and at the top of that, Alicia had asked if she could _please_ impersonate her and meet with the banquet people to taste _and_ choose the menu for the wedding.

At that moment, Raquel cursed herself and her inability to say " _NO_ ", besides, Alicia had played her victim card, saying how much that meant for her wedding, that no one but her knew her well enough to know what food would she like or not because she was her very best friend, her sister. Raquel was between a rock and a hard place.

Andrés had taken Alicia by surprise to Milan to buy the wedding dress with an exclusive designer, and she wasn’t going to be able to be there for the wedding tasting. She wanted to tell her _no_ so badly, but damn Alicia, she was so persuasive, so instead of taking her usual break she hurried to Madrid’s downtown, where a woman with surname she couldn't pronounce would meet her to show her the menu options.

She was so distracted and stressed and it had been so hard to find a parking spot that she forgot to remove her plate and gun from her holster. She strode into the large, elegant neoclassical building, heading to the reception.

"Excuse me, could you tell me which floor Mrs. Was-Wasi… the banquet service is!" Raquel almost yelled, a bit frustrated at not being able to say the woman's surname.

" _Raquel?_ "

Raquel looked at the man next to her, to whom she hadn’t noticed when she arrived. It was Sergio. " _What the fuck!_ " Was the first thing Raquel thought, but she tried to put on a good face.

“Are following me?!” Sergio asked her, confused to see her there.

But her good face didn't last long, “Are you crazy?! No!" She retorted.

"Ex-excuse me, ma'am," the receptionist interrupted, "are you looking for Mrs. Wasikowska due to legal matters?" The young man asked with a hint of dread in his voice.

"NO!" Raquel exclaimed quite harsh, then she noticed the uneasy way in which the receptionist and Sergio were looking at her, it was then that she realized she was still carrying her plate and her gun. “ _Joder!_ " She said under her breath.

Raquel took off her suit jacket aggressively, “Here, hold it!" She ordered Sergio who, without objection, put his hands to hold her things, then she took off her plate and finally her holster with her gun, causing Sergio to shudder internally with the weight of the HK 9mm in his hands. Placing both objects over her jacket on Sergio's hands, then she took her handbag and opened it in front of him, "Put the plate and the holster in there." Warily, Sergio obeyed her, avoiding touching the gun, one never knew, the last thing he needed was his fingerprints on a gun that wasn’t his, so he just took the holster loops with the tips of his fingers and put them inside the bag along with the plate, then Raquel took her jacket and put it back on.

"So... you’re here to see Mrs. Wasikowska, aren't you?"

"Well, yes," Sergio was the first to speak, adjusting his glasses over his nose, "she is waiting for me, for us." He corrected himself when he realized that Raquel was there too, and that Alicia had most likely sent her there _too_ , most likely with double intentions, but he would deal with that later, he just wanted to sign those damn papers and go home.

Although he wasn't going to deny it, when he saw Raquel, _no_ , when he heard her voice he immediately knew it was her, his heart leaped and he felt a tingling sensation deep in his stomach.

It was as if his mind had invoked her hours before, when he was thinking of her, and now she was materializing in front of him. So maybe, just _maybe_ he wasn't _so_ mad at Alicia after all.

"Can you tell us where to find her?" Raquel asked, this time calmer.

“She's on the 7th floor, the top one."

"Thank you." Sergio and Raquel answered at the same time, and at the same time they both walked towards the elevator, crashing in the process, Sergio stepped aside and gave way to Raquel.

Both entered the elevator in an awkward silence, again, both tried to press button 7 at the same time, and _again_ Sergio gave Raquel the honors.

The space in the elevator was extremely narrow, the two of them barely fit with occasional brushing of the tops of their hands. Raquel reached for her handbag strap and grabbed it tightly. Sergio put his hands in the pockets of his pants. The elevator ascended at painfully slow speed, cheesy old-fashioned music blared in the background, and the lights flickered with a very likely electrical misfiring.

"So, I see that Andrés asked you to come in his place as well." Raquel wanted to break the silence. Since the last time they had seen each other he had been so hot and cold, she didn't quite know how to proceed again.

"No, it was actually Alicia." Sergio answered politely.

"Oh, I thought it was your brother, you know, since am I supposed to pretend to be Alicia."

Sergio shot her a confused look. "Pretend to be Alicia? Why? What for?"

"For the menu tasting?” She replied, assuming he was there for the same reason. "Didn't Andrés, well, Alicia ask you to impersonate Andrés to choose the wedding menu?"

Sergio felt his whole body turn cold, his limbs weak and his head light. He was supposed to be there to sign some papers, not to go through the whole process of choosing a wedding menu… _again_ … only this time it wasn't his wedding. No, maybe it was a mistake. Maybe he was there just to sign some papers, what would Alicia gain by lying to him?

However, before he could say anything, the elevator doors swung open and a petite woman in a neat beige suit and shiny black hair in a perfectly trimmed bob greeted them with a huge smile, “Mr. and future Mrs. de Fonollosa!” The woman exclaimed cheerfully as she walked them into a beautiful, exquisitely decorated living-room, "We were expecting you, you are just in time for the tasting!”

"I, I, I don't—" Sergio stuttered.

"And we are happy to be here." Raquel fake-smiled and linked her arm with Sergio's, resting her head on his shoulder.

Sergio felt like sweating cold as Raquel played along with the woman.

"I couldn't wait to meet you in person, future Mrs. de Fonollosa, your wedding planner has told me the best things about you!” The banquet manager said while offering her hand to Raquel, giving her a slight squeeze and a kiss on each cheek. "I am Mrs. Wasikowska."

"Nice to meet you, and oh, please call me Alicia."

"I must say that you sound much different on the phone."

"Really? Well, they tell me that very often, don't they, _cariño_? He loves my voice on the phone." Raquel joked.

But Sergio was far from enjoying the jokes and all that theater. He was having flashbacks, _serious_ flashbacks. Ágata on his arm entering a place very similar to that one, both smiling and eager to choose the food for their wedding day, laughing and joking and very much in love, or at least he thought, well, he _was_.

“Mr. de Fonollosa, it is an honor to be working for you, I have heard so much about you and your company that I already feel that I know you!" The woman now offered her hand to Sergio, but he was frozen.

"Can you, can you excuse me for a moment?" He adjusted his glasses, "I have a very important call to make." He freed himself from Raquel's arm and went out through one of the doors onto one of the terraces with a pleasant view of Madrid's Gran Via.

The woman looked at them both with confusion.

"Sorry, my fiancé is a very busy man as you know, but he will be back shortly." Raquel excused Sergio.

"Okay." She replied, "I suppose that given the abruptness and spontaneity of the event he has many things to resolve."

“Exactly!"

"I'll go see that everything is ready, I'll be right back." Mrs. Wasikowska left Raquel alone in the hall and she took the opportunity to also call Alicia, however, she never answered the phone.

She took a seat and looked at Sergio through the window, he looked agitated while talking on the phone, probably with Andrés. She understood that maybe it was upsetting what Alicia did, but it wasn’t a big deal! Still, she joined him when she saw that he ended the call.

"Hey, are you okay?" Raquel asked tentatively.

He startled a bit when he heard her voice, but turned to her with the best face he could put on, "yeah, yeah... you know, I think—”

"You have to go." Raquel completed the sentence for him. “Look, I know the way I treated you a moment ago was very harsh, and I'm sorry. I also know what Alicia did was out of line, but we're already here…” she shrugged with a coy smile,“and it's free food.”

_"You have to leave that pathological fear behind."_ Sergio remembered his brother's words, he was right, he had to let it go, but god, it was so hard! But he would try, at least for today, he would, at least it was a step forward, he thought.

Out of nowhere, he chuckled slightly.

“What. What is so funny?" Raquel frowned.

"That our two encounters have been exactly the same, one first acted very harsh and then ended up apologizing.”

Raquel couldn't help but laugh, "I promise I won't do that again the next time I see you!"

"I promise, too."

"So?" Raquel gave him a knowing look. "Come on! This could be fun, if we let it.”

Although he still had that feeling of uneasiness deep inside, he told himself over and over that he should try to put the past behind him.

"Shall we go, future Mrs. de Fonollosa?" Sergio smiled and offered his arm to Raquel.

She returned the smile and linked her arm with his, both going back inside the room where they were already waiting for them.

* * *

"And that's the story of how my brother was left at the altar."

Alicia was speechless, everything Andrés had just told her about Sergio was so heartbreaking and made her understand so many things. "That must have been horrible." Alicia murmured with sorrow.

“That’s why my brother is so cautious and defensive when someone tries to talk to him about relationships and women. I think he is afraid that the same thing will happen again or I don't know, losing someone again, only he knows what is going through his mind, he has never wanted to talk too in deep with me about it."

"But... not all women are the same!”

"I know, but we don't all handle trauma in the same way, he still can't quite get over it."

"Now I understand so many things."

“I think it would be better if we stop trying to set him up with Raquel. For the sake of both, I like Raquel and my brother, let's just say that he still has many demons to master."

Alicia thought of Raquel, her life wasn’t exactly all hearts and rainbows at that moment, she had her own demons to master. "Yeah, you're right, it's better to stop forcing things between them... also, now that I know your brother I must admit that I don't think those two can work, I mean, not even a friendship!”

* * *

Sergio and Raquel were taken to another room where there was a large table beautifully decorated with flowers, white tablecloths, tasteful tableware and napkins rolled in gorgeous vintage gold rings.

"Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. De Fonollosa." A group of waiters greeted them when they entered.

"I think I won't eat until tomorrow." She whispered to him.

Sergio grinned and this time, he did pull the chair back for Raquel to sit down, then took the chair next to her.

Both were given two menus with everything they would taste and where they would choose from, they couldn't help but chuckle shyly. Although that was nothing new to him, his wedding was, or was going to be, a thousand times more austere than his brother's apparently would be. For her part, Raquel had never organized a wedding, nor did she plan to, but she was having fun.

Sergio wasn’t going to lie, it was also fun for him, to see all those people undoing themselves to please them while referring to them as _Mr. & Mrs. De Fonollosa_. It even made him forget the reason for his initial reluctance. It was all about having fun, eating, drinking and laughing along with Raquel. It was as if she had made him forget about the world outside that room.

"Alicia would’ve had a stroke if she heard all these people addressing her as _Mrs. De Fonollosa_." Raquel whispered to Sergio _very_ close to his ear, and he couldn’t help but inhale the sweet scent of her hair, bringing back memories of that day at the ex-monastery when he held her in his arms.

Raquel looked up, and found Sergio's eyes watching her closely. She felt shy for a moment and looked away.

And so they were tasting and choosing from drinks, snacks, canapés, entrees and main dishes. And although they were _supposed_ to choose them thinking of Alicia and Andrés, they were the last thing on their minds, they chose everything to their liking.

“ _Hmmm!_ " Raquel moaned, “Taste, taste this!" She offered him the fork with a piece of meat from the dish she was tasting, Sergio opened his mouth and Raquel gave him to eat. He gave her an approving look and a thumbs up when he tasted the delicious piece of food.

"Now you taste this," he did the same, he offered her a piece of food from his plate, however, it wasn’t as good as the one Raquel had offered him, they both made a disapproving gesture at the same time, so they both decided on the first one.

They were having _so much_ fun, and everything flowed so naturally and wonderfully between the two of them that no one would suspect that this was only their second encounter.

The best was when it came the moment to taste the desserts, Sergio wasn’t exactly a fan of sweets, but seeing Raquel so perky infected him. She was like a girl in a candy shop, and he couldn’t stop smiling.

"Wow... that was... delicious!" Raquel exclaimed, once they had finished and were outside the building.

"It certainly was, and like you said, I don't think I will eat until tomorrow!” They both shared a heartfelt laugh. "I had a very nice time."

"See? I told you!"

Afterwards they fell into relative silence, the hustle and bustle of people and cars on the Gran Via only a faint echo in the background, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable.

"Would you like to grab a drink with me?" Sergio blurted adjusting his glasses and he had never felt so bold and daring.

“Weren’t all the drinks we had in there enough?!” Raquel teased.

“We-well, a-a-a coffee. Although it's fine if you don't want to!”

Raquel pursed her lips, "I would love to, but technically I'm still on duty, I would hate to leave you halfway through the coffee."

"I promise that if you have to leave I will not take offense."

"Aren't you going to act all moody with me the next time we meet?"

"I won't, and if I do, have for sure I will apologize."

Raquel laughed, "fair enough!"

"There is a place at Plaza Mayor with an exquisite coffee."

“Do you mind if we walk there? With all the food we had, I could use a walk."

"I could use a walk, too!”

"Then let's go, Mr. de Fonollosa."

"Let's go, future Mrs. de Fonollosa."

They laughed and made their way amongst the crowd in the Gran Via. It was a nice afternoon, the weather was neither too cold nor too hot, and the breeze was blowing gently. They walked side by side, their hands once again brushing occasionally, but _again_ , it wasn’t uncomfortable, nor did she put her hand on the strap of her handbag, nor did he put his hands in his pants pockets, they both just enjoyed each other’s presences. Next to each other.

After a few minutes walking and a pleasant chat about what they had loved and hated most of all the food they had just eaten, they reached the cafe at the Plaza Mayor and took a seat at a table under an umbrella.

“It’s a beautiful day!” Raquel sighed as she looked at all the people having a pleasant moment in the square, couples and families eating, children running around, tourists taking photographs, a man dancing flamenco, another doing a kind of magic show and a couple singing and playing guitar.

"I know, it's been so long since I came to this place to just… sit down and have coffee."

“Work?"

"And life."

"I get you. And what does life say? If I can know. Someone waiting for you at home? Partner, children, girlfriend… _boyfriend_?"

Sergio choked on his coffee, "No," he coughed again, "no partner, no boyfriend, no children."

"So girlfriend..." Raquel smirked.

He scratched his neck, he didn't like to talk about his personal life, especially with strangers, and, although Raquel was no longer a stranger, it was a topic that in general he didn’t like to tackle, not even with his brother .

"Neither, single and alone."

“Well, single maybe, but alone? I don’t think so. You have your brother, you have your job, your students… friends, I imagine."

Sergio smiled, she was right, he had all those people around him, but even so, sometimes he felt lonely, although friends, to tell the truth he didn't have them. “Actually, friends... friends I don't have any, well, _just_ _you_." He felt his heart racing in his chest, he was amazed at himself, but it was so easy, Raquel was such an easy-going woman, so kind, so funny.

He couldn't believe that just that morning he was trying to get her out of his thoughts and now, he already considered her a friend, his _only_ friend, but he could no longer ignore her presence, regardless that she would now become a constant presence in his life thanks his brother and Alicia, she had already invaded _much_ of his thoughts by herself.

Although Raquel's face lit up, she couldn't help wondering how the hell that man's mind worked, one moment he was pushing her away, the next he was apologizing, then again pushing her away and now he considered her his friend. There had to be something else, but for now, she would go along with him. "I am _happy_ to have you as a friend now."

"And what does life say for you?" Sergio asked sipping at his coffee.

Raquel sighed and looked at him, pondering if she should tell him everything that was currently going on in her life, she chuckled humorlessly. "I... life has never been so complicated."

Sergio put his coffee aside and put _all_ his attention on Raquel, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you want to hear it?"

"That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

Again, Raquel sighed, but this time heavily, trying to find the the best way to tell Sergio about her situation without making him feel pity for her. "I... I've been thinking, for the last couple of weeks, about _how_ to end my relationship of 10 years."

Hearing that she was in a relationship gave Sergio a strange feeling inside, not to mention that it took him aback. “Are-are- are you in a relationship? Then why…?"

"Why did Alicia try to set us up?" Raquel chuckled, “first of all, Alicia is like that, so, don't take it personal, she is setting me up with someone new every few months, and it's because she can't stand Alberto, my partner, ever since—"

_No_ , Raquel thought, she was _not_ going to talk about Miguel with him, not now, not ever, that was something _very_ private and something that she had always carried and would always carry hidden deep within herself.

"Ever since I started to date him."

"Wow, I mean, I didn't know you were in a relationship, but 10 years, it must be a very important relationship."

"More than important I would say that it is a relationship that has marked me, although I don’t know if in the right way... I just... I no longer feel it, you know? And in hindsight, I don’t know if I ever felt it."

"Well, you should have, if you started it in the first place and it lasted until today." Sergio pointed.

Raquel shook her head, as if at the same time wanting to shake off the feeling of discomfort that caused her to think about her relationship with Alberto. “It has been a long time, _years_ , years wondering what is this Alberto and I have, if I _really_ love him, if I _ever_ loved him as I thought. I was so young when I started dating him,” she shrugged, “I don't know, I think he dazzled me, he was already someone established in the police, everyone there liked him and to this day he is the most popular guy, but love?” she fixed her gaze on Sergio, "I don't know if I still feel it."

"The moment you stop to think if you love someone you have stopped loving them forever." Sergio answered in a candid way

Raquel gave him a surprised expression, “ _La Sombra del Viento_!"

"Have you read it?!” Sergio asked.

"Of course! It’s one of my favorite books, although I have yet to read the rest of the saga, but, uff! Sometimes I feel days are way too short to do what I like. But,” she reached out her hand across the table, grabbing Sergio's hand, "Ruiz Zafón and you are right."

Sergio put his other hand on top of hers, "Whatever you decide to do, I hope it is the right thing for you, _I_ _know_ you will do the right thing for you."

Raquel returned a thankful smile and a hand squeeze. It had felt so good talking to someone other than Alicia or her mother, sometimes she felt judged by them and it was increasingly hard to open up to them. But Sergio and his little trust vote in her and in her decisions made her feel warm inside and gave her much more confidence in herself to do what she should’ve done a long time ago.

On the other hand, Sergio's initial adrenaline diminished more and more, it had been so easy to talk to her and it had been so easy to listen to her. He wasn’t a sociable being, it was hard for him to establish new personal relationships, not to mention all the other reasons why he wanted to stay out of a any kind of relationship with Raquel, but there, at that little table under an umbrella in the Plaza Mayor of Spain, after having spent the entire afternoon with her, after listening to her, that… that felt _good_ , it felt good to have Raquel as a friend, even if it was all he could offer, although clearly she wasn’t looking for and probably nor did she want any other type of relationship beyond a friendship.

"But tell me, what do you like—" _Joder_! Right at that moment, her cellphone went off. It was Angel, they needed her at the station and although it wasn't urgent, they did need her there as fast as she could.

"It's a shame I have to go, I was having such a good time." Raquel complained.

"We leave it for another time."

“I’m already looking forward to it. So, did you come by car or… "

"No, I came by metro, I left my car at the college parking lot."

"Do you want a ride? The station is very close.”

"Lead the way." Sergio smiled.

They both walked back to where Raquel had parked her car, this time the talk was more animated, she told him about the case she was working on, just a little, without giving away too many confidential details, and at the same time he gave her his opinion and even some advices that Raquel found brilliant. And so it was all the way to the station.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you to where you left your car?" Raquel asked Sergio once at the station, insisting on taking him.

He shook his head, "No, I'm fine, I'll take a taxi there, you're needed here, I'll be fine."

“Fine! In that case, thanks for the coffee and the chat, I think… I think I really needed it."

"I needed a day like this too. So, I’ll see you around?" He offered her his hand and Raquel took it.

“I'll see you around."

They both smiled, looked into each other's eyes, both feeling a tingle inside and both unaware that it was happening to the both of them. This time Raquel would say goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, she was about to pull him towards her when ...

" _RAQUEL!_ "

She turned around, it was Alberto, he was jogging towards them and strangely he was smiling. _Smiling!_ Raquel couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him smile, or rather, the last time he had smiled at her. She was still in her trance of surprise to see him there, so seemingly happy after so many days of not seeing him that she didn't know how to react when he grabbed her face and caught her lips in a kiss…

* * *

-

-

-

_**If you made all the way to the end, I think you deserve a little sneak peek of a future chapter, not the next, probably chapter 8. But let me know what you think, please!! 😊** _

-

-

-

Sergio and Raquel were driving through the lonely streets of Madrid in the middle of the night, she was out of her reality, she was like in a catatonic state staring straight ahead, her breathing slow but steady, her hands in her lap but closed in a tight fist.

"Have you ever killed someone?" She asked in a hoarse whisper.

The question took Sergio by surprise and almost made him swerve the car. He swallowed and clenched his hands on the wheel. "No, never, I don't even know how to take a gun."

She nodded almost imperceptibly as she huffed, "of course,” she muttered.

Sergio didn’t know whether to ask her if she had done it before, if she had killed someone, or what was the reason behind such question, although he feared that it had to do with Alberto...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sergio & Raquel are friends now!!! 🥺💜
> 
> But, what is Alberto going to think of that?! 👀
> 
> And what do you think of the little sneak peek?! 😱


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***PLEASE, READ****
> 
> Ok, so, this is the chapter I told you before that I consider very heavy. 
> 
> The TRIGGER WARNINGS ARE:
> 
> *Graphic violence, physical and verbal, and attempt of assault.
> 
> If you don't want to read to avoid the triggers, you can scroll all the way down, to the end notes, for a simplified explanation of what happens in this chapter, in case you want to keep reading so you can understand the rest.
> 
> Thank you so much to Em, as always, for proofreading 💖
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated 💖

> _**Is anybody out there?** _ _**Can you lead me to the light?** _
> 
> _**Is anybody out there?** _ _**Tell me it'll all be alright...** _
> 
> * * *

It had been 20 minutes. Raquel had been sitting inside her car for 20 minutes, motionless, just thinking. She didn't want to get out of there, she didn't want to go home and face Alberto.

She still couldn't gather enough courage to do what she should’ve done since Alberto ha come back to Madrid a couple of days ago, but it had been so hard. He was another man completely, he was all affection, sweet words, gentle manners, smiles, kisses, he was the man she had been attracted to all those years ago, so attentive, so kind. But the wounds were already way too deep to try to heal them, she was past enjoying his kindness and good manners.

The night he returned, he had initiated the sexual act, and as much as, inside, she wanted to resist, she couldn’t. He was so gentle, so docile, and although he apparently enjoyed it to the end, she couldn't enjoy a single moment of it. She felt bad, dirty; once he was sound asleep she ran to the shower and stood for a long time under the stream of warm water, thinking about how she would do it, how she would get out of it, and until that moment, inside her car, she still couldn't figure it out . She feared that the longer she waited, the harder it was going to be.

But she remembered Sergio's words. God, it had been so awkward that night that Alberto had kissed her in front of him, but she tried to shake that out her head and just focus on his words. “ _I know you will do the right thing for you.”_

So she took a deep breath and got out of the car, heading for her apartment. When she opened the door, Alberto was in the kitchen, he was wearing an apron and was drinking a glass of wine while stirring something in a pot on the stove.

He grinned when he saw her, "Hey, love, you're here!"

But Raquel couldn't bring herself to smile back, “yeah, are you cooking? You never cook." She tried to sound funny.

"Well, it's never too late." He shrugged and kept stirring what appeared to be soup. "But go, go and sit down, surely you are exhausted, Ángel told me about your new case. So go,” he took another glass and poured some wine for her, "rest a bit, dinner is almost ready."

Without saying more, Raquel took the glass and went to the living room, moaning heavily when she sat down and put her feet up on the sofa, she was really exhausted. She closed her eyes and tried to get comfortable among the cushions when she felt Alberto grabbed her feet to unzip her boots and take them off, "You look tired, why don't we take a hot bath after dinner?" He didn't give her time to answer yes or no when he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and went back to the kitchen.

Raquel's mind was racing, what the hell was that? What the hell had caused such a change in him? He didn't text her, much less called her the entire time he was out of town, and now suddenly he came back a completely different man than he was before he left.

No, this couldn't be good, she thought. This was a play, yes, it had to be, he was playing with her, maybe somehow the news that she wanted to end the relationship reached him and now he was trying to make it more difficult, he was playing, manipulating her, he wanted to be the victim in the situation.

Yes, that must be it. But... how could he know? Only a couple of people knew about her intentions, Alicia and Sergio. She was one hundred percent sure it hadn't been Sergio, but what about Alicia? _Joder_ , Alicia was so unpredictable, she wouldn't doubt that somehow, she, at the very least, hinted something to Alberto or someone close to him, making sure the message got to him.

Raquel took her cell phone and texted to Alicia right away.

"Alicia, are you there? It is urgent!"

The answer came to her in a few minutes.

"I'm here! Andres and I have just arrived in Madrid, we are in Sergio's apartment 😏 he already told us that you two had a great time the other day, why didn't you tell me anything?! 😠”

"Alicia, I don't have time for that now, I need to ask you a question and PLEASE, I want you to answer me honestly, I swear I'm not going to get mad, but I need to know the truth."

"Woman, what is it? You're scaring me! 😳"

“Did you tell anyone about my intentions to break up with Alberto? Please, be honest!”

“NOOO!!!! Raquel, I SWEAR I didn't tell anyone, why?!”

"It's a long story, I'll tell you tomorrow. Coffee?”

"Sure! where and what time?"

"Hanoi, 12pm."

"Deal! 💋"

Raquel sighed and took a long drink from her glass of wine, trying to understand the reason behind Alberto's sudden change of behavior. Maybe she needed to ask him first, before starting anything, she needed to know where he was coming from, what made him change his attitude, not to try to fix things, but to give a better focus to her words, maybe his change wasn't so bad, maybe even they could come to a healthy agreement, a healthy break up.

* * *

"So, Raquel." Andrés looked at Sergio through the reflection of the mirror in the living room as he adjusted his suit jacket and tie before going out to dinner with Alicia and while she finished getting ready in the bathroom.

Sergio growled heavily, "Andrés," he told him in a warning tone.

"Calm your horses, man, I don't mean what you're thinking!”

“Oh, no? And then, what?"

Andrés turned around and smiled at her brother, “First of all, I promise, no, I swear I'll leave you alone with the idea of looking for a girlfriend, I swear. But I am happy, _hermanito_ , I’m happy that you have finally managed to take a _huge_ step… you know what I mean.”

Sergio looked nervous, fidgeting the pen in his hand, "it's not a huge step, I just did what any man would do, what our mother taught us, to always be chivalrous with women."

"Come on, don't be shy, we both know it was a big step," he went and took a seat next to him, "look, Sergio, I know that for you, interpersonal relationships are complicated, and after what happened…” he trailed off, not wanting to mention _that_ , "so don't dismiss this, you made a new friend!"

"And it's just that, my friend." Sergio clarified and Andrés laughed.

"Whatever she is, I'm happy, happy that you are finally following my advice, also... I'm glad to see how every time you get along better with Alicia, it makes me feel more at peace, less worried."

"Why would you be worried?"

Andrés gave him a knowing look, “I would hate the idea of leaving you completely alone, Sergio. So I'm happy that you're going to have Raquel and Alicia when I'm gone."

"Are you going to start talking about it again?" Sergio grumbled with a hint of sadness, avoiding his brother's gaze and instead looking down at his hands.

Andrés huffed and brought his hand to Sergio's nape, stroking his neck with his thumb, "dying isn’t easy, Sergio."

"Are you ready, _amore mio_?!” Alicia came out of the bathroom, beautifully dressed to go to dinner with Andrés.

"Look at you, _mia vita_!" Andrés beamed when he saw Alicia.

He was so in love, and something that he would never, _never_ confess to Sergio was that, if before he met Alicia he was ready to die, now that she was in his life there was not a day that he didn’t grieve the idea that he had the days counted next to the love of his life, _sua vita_ , she was his life, his entire life.

"Are you sure you're not coming with us, _cuñadito_?" Alicia asked Sergio.

"Very sure, I still have to grade some papers and update grades on the web platform, but you two go, and have a drink in my name."

"Even two!" Alicia smiled.

"Ok, bye _hermanito!_ ”

Once alone in his apartment, Sergio was finally able to breathe, however, his brother's words immediately assaulted him. _"Don't dismiss this, you made a new friend!"_

Raquel. She was already a part of his life now. He couldn't help but smile to himself. He liked her, he really liked her, even if he had only met her a couple of times he liked the way she was and now, he couldn't wait to see her again and deep down he hoped it wasn't going to take a long time for that…

* * *

Raquel and Alberto were in the middle of dinner, it could be said that both were chatting pleasantly, although in reality it was just him talking about what he had done in the last two weeks that he was out of town and she only nodded with a half smile.

"Alberto, what is happening?" Raquel blurted out, unable to continue with that charade.

Alberto looked at her frowning, confused, as if in his head none of that was strange or unusual in the least, "what's going on with what?"

"Please, Alberto, don't make me doubt my sanity, this isn't normal!"

"Wow," Alberto exclaimed in disbelief, dropping the spoon on his plate creating a loud clack that made Raquel shudder, "wow, wow, so you think I'm faking this?!”

Raquel ran her hands over her face in exasperation, “No! Well... Alberto, it had been months, months since we hadn't had sex until a couple of days ago, we haven't slept in the same bed for months, _joder_ , it's been so long since we spoke to each other for anything other than fighting! And now? You-you… I don't know who you are and I just want to know what's happening, why this change, that's all!”

"And why do you want to know?!”

"Well, how about knowing I'm not going crazy!"

“Isn't it enough that we're okay now? Do you really want to go back to what we had, to the fights?!”

Raquel sighed, "Alberto, I don't want to fight, I just want to understand you."

“No, you want to fight, why can't you accept that I want things to be better between us? Isn't that what you think would make Miguel happy?"

Raquel felt her heart stop for a split of second, “Oh no. No, no, no! ”she got up from the table shaking her index finger at Alberto, “don't you dare bring him into this!”

“He was my son, too! Of course I'll bring him into this!”

“No, no." Raquel shook her head.

"I'll bring him because I know he would have liked to see his parents happy."

"I AM _NOT_ HAPPY AND YOU _NEVER_ WANTED MIGUEL!" Raquel screamed, the time bomb she carried inside had finally exploded, "We are not happy, Alberto, _I_ am _not_ happy... and you never wanted nor loved Miguel, so don't you dare mention him again."

Raquel could see how fury rose through Alberto's body, reaching his face, making it twist in a choleric expression. "So you're not happy, huh?"

" _We_ are not happy, Alberto." Raquel replied with a defeated voice, “How can it be that you don't see it? You don't love me, and I…"

"It's that man." Alberto sneered, “isn't it? That man I saw you with the other day,” he laughed humorlessly and Raquel had never been so scared,“let me guess, your plan is to dump me, and you and your new boyfriend will move to Sevilla when they give you the promotion.”

Raquel was lost, what was he talking about? “What _the_ _hell_ are you saying, Alberto? Sevilla? Promotion? What-what…”

"The commissioner told me, they want you in Seville as chief inspector."

She was astonished, was he trying to make her doubt her sanity? “That-that’s not true! I haven’t received any offer, much less a notification!”

"They will do it in the next few days."

Then it clicked, Raquel understood everything, she looked at him with anger and disbelief, “so all this is because of that! you don't want me to leave, you want me to stay here, tied to you. You don't want to see me be more than you!”

Alberto scoffed, “don’t be fool, Raquel," he walked towards her and took her face in his hand, squeezing her cheeks tightly with his fingers, "you will never, listen to me, _never_ be more than me." Then he pulled her face away sharply.

Raquel could feel rage mixing with fear inside her body. "I want you out of _my_ apartment, now!" She demanded him, but Alberto didn’t blink an eye, " _NOW_!" Despite being scared to death, she tried to put a voice as authoritative as possible.

Raquel tried to push Alberto to make him move and leave her place, but in a deft movement he took her by the arms and slammed her against the wall, making her hit the back of her head, “so you don't love me anymore, huh? So now you prefer that bland man? What turns you on, huh? Tell me, his librarian clothes? His glasses? Or no, I know what it is, his money, is that right? Following in the footsteps of your little friend, Alicia, with the wine brothers."

"Alberto, please." Raquel pleaded with him in a whimper.

"Please what?! He hissed.

With one hand, Alberto took Raquel's wrists and nailed them to the wall over her head, while with his free hand he started to unbuckle her belt while trying to kiss her. Raquel squirmed and tried to fight back with all her might, but he was so much bigger than her.

Alberto finally unbuckled her belt and pants, thrusting his hand inside her underwear and doing things that made her feel more than uncomfortable, disgusted. When he licked her neck and bit her earlobe, she couldn’t take it anymore, she bit on his own earlobe with all her might until she felt blood in her mouth, then she kicked his crotch with her knee.

Next, Alberto backed away groaning in pain, blood spurted from his ear, the pain from his crotch was almost blinding.

Raquel spat the blood out of her mouth, revealing a tiny piece of flesh of Alberto's earlobe. She felt like vomiting. She wanted to get out of there, but to do so, she had to sidestep Alberto and the space was too narrow, for sure he would catch her.

When she saw Alberto stand straight again, she backed off until her back touched the wall and she realized she was cornered. He had fire in his eyes. He walked toward her like a wild animal after his prey, but she wasn't ready for what he did next.

Alberto took a little ceramic cooking pot from the center of the table that still contained hot soup and threw it at Raquel with all his fury, breaking it on her head. She felt the still hot liquid burning the skin of her face, her neck, her chest and her arms, followed by the metallic taste of her own blood gushing out from her forehead, running down her temple to her mouth. She didn't have time to react to what was happening when she felt Alberto's fist hit her ribs, knocking her out of breath.

She leaned forward, feeling dizzy from the blows, the shortness of breath, the blood spurting from her forehead, and the sting of her burned skin. It was all too much. She didn’t want to cry, damn her if she cried, she tried, she _really_ did, but she couldn't. She didn’t cry from sadness, not even from the physical pain that Alberto was inflicting on her body, she was crying with rage, with shame.

Raquel tried stand straight again, and that was when Alberto grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the mirror, there she realized that she wasn’t only bleeding from her forehead, but also from her nose and lip.

"Look at yourself, you insignificant woman, and don’t forget, you are worthless,” he laughed, “you are not even good at procreating a healthy child, you are nothing!”

Then Alberto threw her to the ground, and Raquel had never felt so insignificant in her entire life, she really felt like a piece of trash that someone threw on the ground. And not happy with that, Alberto gave her one last kick in the abdomen before leaving the apartment, leaving her there, alone, lying on the floor, wounded in every posible way; mentally, spiritually and physically. Her salty tears mingling with her blood, her dignity shattered along with her heart, feeling like the most miserable being on the planet.

Raquel cried and screamed. Anger, sadness, disappointment and humiliation fighting to take the most of her. After a while, and realizing that she was as badly injured, as she could, moaning and grunting through the pain, she got up on shaky legs, feeling as if a knife twisted in her side with each breath, and with the sensation of her skin in her face and chest on fire.

She searched the room for her cell phone, struggling to see with one eye and the other partially closed with a huge swelling from the blows, not to mention that with every minute that passed she felt more and more weak. Raquel looked down at her chest, her white blouse now red from all the blood that she had lost from her forehead and nose, as did her hair, strands glued in a patches of blood.

But she kept looking for her phone, she _needed_ to ask for help. When she finally found it, she called the one person she knew would help her, her friend, her sister, Alicia. One, two, three, four… six rings and Alicia never answered. Raquel let out a whimper, she felt so alone. But she needed help now, so she just called emergency services and asked for an ambulance.

* * *

Sergio was in the middle of grading papers, when he heard the ringing of a cell phone, he assumed it was his, but immediately he realized that his was on the table in silence.

He got up from the chair and tried to follow the sound that led him to the bathroom, and there, next to the sink was a cell phone. It was Alicia's.

He took the device in his hands, looking at the wallpaper picture flashing on the screen along with Raquel’s name, she was calling Alicia. Sergio debated whether to answer or not until the call itself was cut off. A few seconds later another call came in and although deep down something told him that he should answer, he decided not to, it wasn’t his cell phone.

When the call ended again, that was all, Raquel didn’t call again. Still, Sergio took the phone with him and put it on the table where he was working, ready to hand it over to Alicia as soon as she got back.

About half an hour later, the phone rang and again and it was Raquel, but this time it was a text.

_”Alicia, please, answer the phone, it’s urgent! I need you!"_

Sergio felt a chill run through his body, it was _urgent_ , Raquel _needed_ her, he feared she might be in trouble. He wanted to answer the messages, but decided it was better to call her. He tried, but the cellphone had a password and damn his luck, he hadn't asked for Raquel’s phone number the last time he saw her. He just waited for her to call again, and indeed, within seconds the screen flashed with Raquel's name and picture.

Quickly, Sergio answered the call and held the cellphone to his ear.

"ALICIA!" Raquel shouted on the other end of the phone.

"No, It’s Sergio, Alicia forgot her cell phone at my apartment."

"Oh." Raquel sounded disappointed.

"But tell me, can I do something for you? She’s out with Andres, I can call him and ask her to call you."

"Oh, I... do you know when they’ll be back?”

Although initially Sergio was happy to listen to Raquel’s voice, he immediately noticed something strange in it, something different. "I don't know..." he trailed off, "they went out to dinner." Raquel was silent, but Sergio could hear the hustle of people, but it was not the street; he heard a phone ring, but it didn't sound like the police station either, it wasn't until...

_"Dr. Castro, Dr. Castro, your presence is needed in the ER. Dr. Castro, to the ER.”_

"Raquel, are you at the hospital?!" Sergio asked with panic in his voice.

“I-I… can you tell Alicia I called her? Goodbye, Sergio."

And she hung up the phone, he tried to call her back, but she wouldn't answer.

Sergio felt that he had to do something, the words _urgent_ and _I need you_ spinning in his head, she needed someone and on top of that she was in the hospital, what if she was injured? He had to do something, and he had to do it now.

* * *

Raquel preferred to go through all that alone before allowing Sergio to see her in that state, that would be the end of what little dignity she had left in her, if there was still anything.

She lay down on the gurney, slowly and careful not to hurt herself even more, waiting for a doctor to come to her cubicle to finally give her proper attention. She looked at the bright white ceiling, the smell of strong antiseptic filling her nose, a couple of tears rolled down her temples and she released a sob full of feelings.

About fifteen minutes later, a nurse and a doctor finally entered her cubicle, the nurse lifted the back of her gurney while the doctor asked her some questions and wrote down the answers on her chart.

"I don't see of any emergency contact here." The doctor pointed.

Her emergency contacts were Alicia, her mother, and Alberto. She almost wanted to laugh. Alberto was completely out of the question, she would take care of that bastard later. Her mother, her poor mother, she didn’t want to worry her, and Alicia, she was surely living her love in some beautiful restaurant.

“I… I…” Raquel was about to say that she had no emergency contacts when another nurse interrupted them by peeking through the cubicle curtain.

"Dr. Castro, Mrs. Murillo's husband is here."

Raquel froze, no, Alberto no, what was he doing there? She wanted to cry again.

"Let him in." The doctor ordered. Raquel wanted to shout _no_ , not to let him in, but when the nurse opened the curtain, it was Sergio who was on the other side...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really, REALLY like to know what you think of this chapter 🥺
> 
> __________________________________________________
> 
> ***SUMMARY***
> 
> \- After a couple of days of his return, Alberto continues to act very lovingly with Raquel, she finally faces him and asks for an explanation for such behavior, she doesn't think it's normal.
> 
> \- They argue, he tells her that he acts that way because that's what Miguel would've wanted, happy parents. Raquel yells at him that she isn't happy and that he never wanted Miguel, so he should stop the act.
> 
> \- It is revealed they want Raquel to be chief inspector in Sevilla, it dawns on her that Alberto's real intentions are to keep her in Madrid, on his shadow, because he doesn't want her to be more than him, that's why he's acting so lovingly. 
> 
> \- Things get really ugly between Raquel and Alberto.
> 
> \- Wounded, Raquel calls Alicia for help, but she forgot her cellphone at Sergio's place before going to diner with Andrés.
> 
> \- Sergio answers the phone, but Raquel doesn't want him to see her in such state, nevertheless, Sergio manages to find out which hospital she's in and shows up to help her...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, million thanks to the people who took the time to leave a little comment in my previous chapter, your words mean a lot to me and keep me motivated, knowing you're liking this story, so thank you 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡x1000000
> 
> The ****TRIGGER WARNINGS**** for this chapter are: Mentions of physical injuries/brutality, mentions of assault, mentions of crime scenes and mentions of murderer. 
> 
> I SWEAR, this will be the last angsty chapter, or at least to this level... lots of fluff coming soon 🥰
> 
> I also want to clarify that I don't have ANY medical knowledge, so sorry if there's something that doesn't make sense 😬
> 
> Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated!!! 🧡
> 
> Thanks Em for proofreading!! 🌟

> **_You are not alone, I've been here the whole time singing you a song..._ **
> 
> * * *

_What the hell had happened?_

Sergio didn’t recall being so stunned in his entire life. That wasn’t Raquel, the woman in front of him had _nothing_ to do with the beautiful and smiling woman that he had seen only a couple of days ago and with whom he had had the best day of his life in many years.

That woman in front of him was a shattered woman, her beauty overshadowed by the bruises, bumps, and blood on her skin and hair. Her huge smile, her bright brown eyes replaced by a pair of vacant eyes and a quivering jaw. He couldn't help but let out a silent gasp, he wanted to run to her, he wanted to take her in his arms and with his own hands clean and heal each and every one of her wounds.

But Raquel didn't even want to look him in the eye, she couldn't, she couldn't bear to know that Sergio had seen her in that condition, she wanted to yell at him, ask him to leave, to turn around and get out of there and never look for her, that that wasn’t his place, but instead, she just ducked her head and let her tears fall from her eyes to her hands, washing off a little the dried blood there.

“So, are you her husband?" The doctor asked, breaking the silence.

Sergio adjusted his glasses, "Yeah, yeah, I-I-I am her husband, hers, her husband, yes." He stuttered.

"Then could you explain your wife's condition to me?” At that moment Raquel looked up with wide eyes, "because here, your _wife_ , told the paramedics that her injuries were due to an altercation with her partner."

Sergio felt that all the blood had left his body, "I mean, I-I—“

"He is _not_ my husband." Raquel told the truth.

The doctor frowned, "do you know him?"

"He is... he is a friend." Raquel was still avoiding looking at Sergio.

"Yes, I’m her friend." Sergio confessed, "I just wanted to come and help her.”

“Oh, ok. But if you are not familiar, you cannot be here. So… sir, please leave."

The nurse was about to escort Sergio out of the ER, when Raquel caught a look from him, "No!", She croaked, “he's my emergency contact, my only emergency contact, my friend."

"Well, in that case you can stay, but please come in and close the curtain, let's give your friend some privacy."

Sergio and Raquel shared a sympathetic look, they didn't need words, with a single glance Sergio told her everything she needed to know, that she wasn’t alone, that he was there with her, and with a single glance she showed him her gratitude.

He stood next to her bed and put his hand on her shoulder, making her hiss and flinch, "Sorry, sorry!" He apologized.

"She has first degree burns to her face, chest and shoulders." The doctor informed him.

Sergio swallowed the lump in his throat, what the _hell_ had happened? Burns? Sergio wasn’t a violent man, it wasn’t in his nature, what was more, he had never punched someone in his life, but in those moments, much of the pain he felt when he saw Raquel so badly hurt became fury, he wanted to have Alberto face to face and do to him the same things he had done to Raquel, but _a_ _million_ times worse.

Then he wanted to take her hand, but he was afraid that that would also hurt her, so he just placed his hand on the mattress, _very_ close to her hand, Raquel noticed it and with her little finger she rubbed the top of his fingers.

"Thank you," she mumbled, looking up at him.

”I am here, _estoy contigo_."

Sergio looked carefully at the doctor while he examined over Raquel, he almost didn’t want to look at her, he felt that just doing so would be a great offense, but he couldn’t avoid glancing. Dried blood all over her skin and even her hair, a large wound on her forehead just glued together with pieces of white tape, the skin on her face and chest bright red, when the doctor unbuttoned her blouse, and he saw her abdomen and ribs completely bruised, he couldn't take it, he looked away.

But then he thought, if all this had happened since the first time she had called, that had been almost an hour ago, she had been in that condition for almost an hour and no one had even been good at cleaning the blood from her body or offering her a clean gown, he was furious again.

When the doctor finished the examination he informed her that she needed an MRI to verify that the blow to her head hadn’t caused cranial damage, and some X-rays to rule out any rib sprain or fracture, but unfortunately, the neurologist wasn’t on call that night, so they would have to wait for her to arrive. Meanwhile, she would be taken to do the X-rays.

"And how long should we wait for the neurologist?" Sergio asked.

"She's already been paged, and she's on her way."

"How long?" Sergio insisted.

"About 20 minutes, half an hour top."

"Can you call a plastic surgeon too?"

"A plastic surgeon? What for?” The doctor frowned.

“You don't intend to just leave her with that white tape, do you? She needs stitches!” Sergio argued quite irritated.

“I'm sorry, but… plastics’ services are not included in Mrs. Murillo's health insurance. You would have to pay for the services."

“I didn't ask if it's part of her insurance! I _asked_ you to call a plastic surgeon!" Sergio growled.

"Sergio, please." Raquel tried to calm him down, "I'm fine, please!" She begged taking his hand.

"I'm sorry, please, please forgive me!” Sergio immediately apologized, realizing how probably his voice could‘ve upset Raquel.

“I’m okay." She assured him.

"But you do need stitches, please, let me do this for you, that's what friends are for."

Raquel thought about it for a few of seconds, "ok," she accepted.

"Ok," the doctor repeated, "we will page the plastic surgeon, any other request?"

The doctor’s mocking tone didn’t go unnoticed by Sergio, but he decided not to say anything about it, what he least wanted was for Raquel to feel more upset than she already was.

"Actually yes, can you send someone to clean her and bring a clean gown.”

"I'll help her clean up right away." The nurse said.

"Well, in that case, someone will come soon to take her to take the x-rays, for the time being, that’s all from my part, I will come back when I have the MRI’s and x-ray results." Then the doctor turned around and left the cubicle.

"I don’t like him." Sergio grumbled.

"He is like that." The nurse said, while carefully cleaning the dried blood from Raquel's skin with a cotton ball and water.

"You should report him." He said.

The nurse shrugged, “We have done it, but the chief of staff has done nothing. Anyway, how are you feeling, Raquel? Please tell me how you _really_ feel. " She asked sweetly.

"Dizzy," Raquel replied, "weak, sleepy, my head hurts, I feel nauseous, it hurts when I breathe and my skin stings."

"Ok, I will put oxygen on you to help you breathe easier and I will give you something for the pain and apply lidocaine spray for the stinging, soon you will feel better. I'll be right back, I'll go get a clean gown.”

"Wait!" Raquel called the nurse before she left the cubicle. "Can you ..." she took a deep breath, frowning at the pain in her abdomen and ribs, she was so embarrassed to say it in front of Sergio, but well, he had already seen the worst, what she was about to ask was nothing in comparison, "can you also give me an emergency contraceptive pill?”

Sergio shuddered, and felt the grip of Raquel's hand on his hand tighten.

"Raquel," the nurse stood by her side, with a serious expression, but a soft voice, "did your partner assault you?"

 _Please, say no. Please, say no. Please, say no._ Sergio repeated in his mind, wishing she would _please_ say no.

“No... not exactly,” Raquel said and Sergio felt relief bathe his body, "but... we slept together in the last couple of days and I don’t want... you know."

"Was it consensual?" The nurse asked. “If it wasn’t, you know you can take the kit, it could help you a lot in your sue against your partner.”

Raquel couldn’t help notice the irony. In Alberto's area of expertise, every day they dealt with assault kits, and now… she thought about saying it wasn’t, that it hadn't been consensual, but she was so morally defeated that she didn't want to go through the whole process of taking the kit just for it to be stored in a drawer in the office of one of Alberto's friends in the forensic.

“Well… it was more like a kind of coercion… but yeah, I didn’t put any resistance.” she replied feeling nauseous.

"I understand,” the nurse said with sympathy, “I'll get it right away, too."

When finally Raquel and Sergio found themselves alone, neither of them knew what to say, she was ashamed, and he didn't want to make her feel more uncomfortable with inappropriate questions or words.

"How did you know I was here?" Raquel asked almost in a whisper, looking down to her lap.

"Once I heard Alicia mention where you lived, I looked for nearby hospitals, I was going to go to each one, I was lucky to find you in the first one."

“Why?!" She looked up, tears pooled in her eyes.

"Because you needed someone."

"I don’t need anyone." She grunted looking away, "You can go now, I'll keep calling Alicia."

"Is that what you want? That I leave?" Sergio didn't want to leave, he didn't want to leave her alone, but if his presence bothered her, he would, he would leave, the last thing he wanted was for her to feel worse and more uncomfortable than she surely already felt.

"Yes."

“Ok, that’s ok.”

Sergio was about to let go of Raquel's hand, when she took it tighter and she whimpered. "Wait, don't go, sorry, I didn't mean it."

“It’s ok, it’s ok, you have absolutely _nothing_ to apologize for, okay? but don't talk, rest, save your energy."

"I don't have any left…"

Raquel leaned back on the pillow and Sergio pulled a stool to sit next to her, they both remained silent but he didn’t let go of her hand. Shortly after the nurse returned with a clean gown and the pill, Raquel took it immediately, and when it was time to help her take off her bloodstained clothes, although he didn’t want to leave her cubicle, Sergio came out, it was a small gesture to respect her decency, but he could see she greatly appreciated it.

Soon the plastic surgeon arrived, he gave her appropriate sutures on the forehead that wouldn’t leave any marks, and then, she was taken to do the X-rays and the MRI, he walked next to her stretcher, accompanying her at all times. But with every minute that passed, Raquel seemed to notice his presence less and less, she locked herself more and more in her own mind.

Once all the tests were done, the doctor was able to give her an accurate diagnosis; she had a rib sprain and slight linear fracture in the head, so she would need a lot of care and rest. The burns on her skin would also heal in the following days and in general, the bruises, swelling and pain would disappear with the days, but what would never go away would be the pain in her soul, the rage, the shame, the humiliation... even if the wounds disappeared from her body, she was already wounded for life, those wounds that _nothing_ and _nobody_ could heal.

The doctor insisted that Raquel stayed in the hospital for at least 24 hours to have her monitored, but she refused. Sergio tried to talk to her, to make her understand that it was the best for her, but she just wanted to get out of there. In the end the doctors made her sign a letter of responsibility so they could let her go. They allowed her to take the gown and slippers, and Sergio carried her in a wheelchair to his car, she was so high in painkillers that it was hard for her to walk on her own.

“Do I take you home?" Sergio asked her once they were inside the car, but Raquel's mind was not there with him, it was thousands of miles away. "Raquel?" She murmured an address to him, and Sergio started off. It was the address of her mother's house.

Sergio and Raquel were driving through the lonely streets of Madrid in the middle of the night, she was out of her reality, she was like in a catatonic state staring straight ahead, her breathing slow but steady, her hands in her lap but closed in a tight fist.

"Have you ever killed someone?" She asked in a hoarse whisper.

The question took Sergio by surprise and almost made him swerve the car. He swallowed and clenched his hands on the wheel. "No, never, I don't even know how to take a gun."

She nodded almost imperceptibly and huffed, "of course,” she muttered.

Sergio didn’t know whether to ask her if she had done it before, if she had killed someone, or what was the reason behind such question, although he feared that it had to be with Alberto.

“I have,” she said, her voice flat and croaky, “four times, on duty, and it was… the first time was traumatic, the rest… after the first time it stops taking its toll, it's just you and the gun, the jolt of the shot that shakes you to the core, fueling your adrenaline." Never did she look at Sergio, she kept looking straight ahead.

Sergio was still lost for words, what was one supposed to answer to that? So they both went on in silence, until Raquel spoke again.

"Have you ever seen a crime scene?"

"No, neither." Sergio swallowed, not even wanting to imagine what she was going to say next.

“The first crime scene I saw in my life was that of a woman who had cut off her husband's balls, then tied him up and set his balls on fire in front of him, while he bled out to death.”

Raquel let out a loud laugh that sent an icy chill down Sergio’s spine. It had been such an empty laugh but at the same time so full of hatred and pain.

“That was after years of abuse,” she said, this time back to her hoarse and flat voice, “back then I didn't understand how someone could endure so many years with such a person, in a toxic relationship, I even felt angry with the woman, how could someone be so fool? I thought back then, and now... life has given me a taste of my own medicine, a slap in the face with a wide open hand.”

Sergio pulled over, and faced Raquel, "Raquel, look at me, please," she did, " _nothing_ that happened was your fault, you didn't ask for any of this, nothing you did or didn't do is an excuse for what that… that bastard did to you, _please_ don't you ever think it was your fault.”

Two single tears ran down Raquel's eyes and she gave him a sad smile. Sergio started the car again and kept driving until he reached the address that Raquel had given him.

It was a very nice, family neighborhood. The house was blue with white picket fence and front garden, very homey. Sergio got out of the car to help Raquel out, he helped her walk, her pace was slow and dragged, but he walked her patiently. Once in front of the door, Raquel rang the bell, unfortunately she had only been able to take her wallet before the paramedics took her to the hospital, so she had found herself in dire need to wake up her mother in the middle of the night, but she didn’t want to go back to her place, she wanted the peace and security that her old house, her old room _and_ her mother would bring her.

A couple of minutes later, a sleepy Mariví, wrapped in her fluffy night robe opened the door, but as soon as she saw her daughter, and how badly hurt she was, her eyes went wide and she gasped.

“ _Mi amor_ , what happened?!" Mariví exclaimed, her voice immediately breaking, even not knowing everything that had happened she was already heartbroken to see her daughter in such condition.

"I broke up with Alberto." Raquel replied, making her way inside the house.

“You broke up with Alberto? But what happened? Why are you so badly hurt? Please, _cariño_ , tell me!” She cried.

"I don't want to talk about it now, mom, please, now I just want to sleep, I'll explain everything to you tomorrow."

Mariví felt lost, her heart ached so much for her daughter, "Raquel."

“Mom, _please_." With a single word, Raquel let her mother know that she wasn’t going to say anything, that _please_ don't insist, slowly, and without saying goodbye to Sergio, she made her way up the stairs.

Although she really didn’t have the energy to explain, the reality was that she was ashamed, she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to bear the pity stares of Sergio and her mother, not now, so without saying more she retired to her old room, she closed the door and got under the covers, she didn’t even have the energy to cry, she just wanted to try to sleep, close her eyes and be unconscious for at least a few hours.

Downstairs, Mariví was confused and hurt. "And who are you?" She asked Sergio.

"Hello, good evening, I’m Sergio Marquina," he introduced himself, "Raquel’s friend... Alicia Sierra’s brother-in-law."

“Oh, right!" Mariví remembered that Raquel had told her about the brother of Alicia's fiancé. "Did you help her?"

"Yeah, she tried to call Alicia, but she forgot her cell phone in my place, so I answered and went to help her."

"Why didn't she call me? I’m her mother!"

Sergio shrugged, "I don't know, but please try to understand her."

"What happened? Alberto… did he do this to her?" Sergio nodded and Mariví sobbed covering her mouth. “And-and where is he? Did she denounce?"

"Not yet, but I hope she does, this cannot go unpunished."

"Thank you very, _very_ much for not leaving her alone." Mariví hugged him, crying bitterly, then she pulled back, “thank you for answer that phone.”

“It was noting. Can you please keep me informed of _anything_?" Sergio took a pen and a note from the console table in the entrance and wrote down his phone number, "please."

"Of course!" Mariví assured him, taking the note.

"And don't worry, she probably will sleep for several hours, they gave her very strong painkillers, and... please, keep an eye on her, she..." Sergio didn't know whether to speak or not, due to her age sensitivities, but he knew she had to know it, “on the way here she was talking about crime scenes, asking me if I had ever killed someone and the adrenaline that shooting a gun gave her… I'm afraid she's going to do something crazy and damage her case against Alberto. So please, take care of her and keep me informed, I will come see her tomorrow as soon as I can."

"Don't worry, rest assured that I will take care of her and inform you of anything."

Before leaving, Sergio gave Mariví a paper bag with all the medications that Raquel had been prescribed along with her prescription, then he said goodbye and left the house, getting into his car to go back home.

And it was there, inside his car, alone, when all the events of the last hours dawned on him like an avalanche and it was overwhelming. He felt how all his emotions gathered in his chest making him feel a suffocating oppression and pain, it had been too much, the sadness, the rage, the pain and helplessness of having seen Raquel so badly injured bubbled inside him about to burst, until he couldn't take it anymore, he released a sob and let the tears come out of his eyes without any intention to stop them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made all the way to this part, thank you for reading 🧡
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter and what do you think it's coming 🥰


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for the support and the lovely words each one of you have left me so far, they mean a lot to me ❤️it's nice to know you are liking this!
> 
> Thanks to Em for your guidance and your wise advice for the direction of this story, and for the proofreading 💞✨
> 
> On a side note, if any of you read my other fic, "Wait For Me To Come Home", I have a little one shot ready, I hope to post it in the following days and I hope you like it 🥰
> 
> On a side note x2, there's a little something at the end, a little sneak peek for a future chapter, not the next tho 👀
> 
> Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts, i love to read them ❤️

> _**Looking for heaven, found the devil in me...** _
> 
> * * *

Sergio wasn’t able to sleep that night. After venting all his emotions inside his car for several minutes, he went home, but once there, in bed, he could only look at the ceiling and repeat in his head over and over again everything that had happened in the hours previous. It had been a roller coaster of emotions. When he realized it, the first rays of the sun entered through the white curtains of his room, letting him know it was time to get up, that a new day awaited him.

He had to go to give classes, he couldn’t miss it, they were in the last days of the cycle, but he just wanted to take his car and drive back to that family neighborhood where Raquel's mother's house was, he wanted to knock on the door, go in and head directly to Raquel's room, he wanted to see her, he _needed_ to see her.

Sergio carried out the rest of his activities almost automatically. During all his lessons he couldn't stop thinking about how Raquel would be, whether she had already woken up or was still asleep; from time to time he would check his cellphone, in case he had a text or call from Mariví, but there was nothing for the whole morning, it wasn’t until past noon that Mariví sent him a text, letting him know that Raquel had woken up although only for a few minutes, she had taken her medications and went back to sleep.

Soon after, Alicia's calls followed; she and his brother were just waking up from their romantic night and she had just found out. She had called Raquel, but obviously she wasn’t available and Mariví couldn’t give her many details, so she kept calling him, she wanted to know _all_ the details of what had happened, the poor thing almost died of guilt for not having been there when her best friend needed her, but she was also grateful that Raquel wasn’t alone, that Sergio was there.

When the last lesson of the day was finally over, Sergio didn't even say goodbye to his students, he gathered up his things and bolted towards Raquel's mother's house. On his way, he stopped at a flower shop and bought a big bouquet of soft pink tulips, wrapped in a brown mesh and tied with a pink ribbon along with a basket of cookies for Raquel, he hoped that at least that little detail would lift up a little her spirits.

" _Hijo_ , how good that you are here!" Mariví received Sergio with a welcoming smile.

"And Raquel? How is she?" Sergio got straight to the point.

“She's fine, I guess. She just took a shower, but in general she wakes up and goes back to sleep, the medicines they gave her are very strong."

"Yes, I know, but the less she is in pain, the better, besides, sleeping will help her recover sooner."

"I hope so."

“Have you heard about… you know?”

Mariví shook her head, "nothing, Alicia called and told me that at the station they told her he asked for a few days off, so now we don't know where he is and when he will return, _if_ the coward comes back."

Sergio swallowed and adjusted his glasses. _Bastard_. He thought. "We will find him," he assured her. "Has Alicia come here? She's been calling me all morning.”

"She came a few hours ago, but Raquel was asleep, she went to find out about Alberto, I'm sure she will be back soon, she was coming with your brother, actually."

"Good, good... seeing her will do Raquel good."

"I know... and… are those for her?" Mariví inquired, pointing to the flowers and the cookies.

"Yes, they are... I hope seeing something nice makes her feel a little better."

“She will love them,” she said, “do you want to see her? you can go up if you like, she’s in her room, the first one to the right."

"I..." he hesitated, "I wouldn't feel comfortable just walking in like that, I'd rather she know first that I'm here and decide whether or not she wants to see me.”

Mariví smiled sweetly at him, patting him on the shoulder, "I'll let her know you're here, I'll be back," she turned around and went up the stairs.

"If she's asleep, please don't disturb her," he asked her before she reached the top of the stairs and she nodded.

Mariví slowly opened the door to Raquel's room, and she was lying down, she approached, and saw that she was awake, although with lost eyes.

Carefully, she sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair still damp from her shower.

" _Hija_ , how are you feeling?" Raquel just shrugged, “Do you want me to get you something to eat? You haven't eaten anything, _cariño_."

"I'm not hungry." Raquel answered in a hoarse whisper.

“You have to eat something, so much medicine on an empty stomach doesn't do you any good. Come on, a piece of a sandwich at least,” she insisted.

"I'm not hungry, mom, _please_."

"Ok, ok, I won't insist... but... there is someone who wants to see you... Sergio is downstairs."

For the first time since Mariví entered the room, Raquel showed signs of reacting, she looked at her mother with eyes of amazement and confusion. "Sergio? What is he doing here?"

“He’s here to see how you're doing, he was an angel with you last night."

“Was he?" Raquel asked and then looked at the ceiling, "I don't remember much."

"You were quite numb with painkillers, but he was with you in the hospital and then he brought you home, do you want to see him?"

Slowly Raquel sat up in bed, still a little sore. She thought about it. She didn’t have much recollection of what had happened the night before, she remembered calling Alicia, and that Sergio had answered her phone, she remembered how she didn’t want to tell him anything and how he later showed up at the hospital, she also remembered how he was there with her during the examination, but the rest was just blurry images and words that she didn't know if they were real or not.

However, hearing that he was there made her feel warm inside. Knowing that he wanted to see her and how she was doing made her feel good in the midst of her low spirits.

"Yeah... tell him to come up." Raquel told her mother.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Sergio was looking around, now, in broad daylight, he could finally appreciate how beautiful and cozy the house was, he walked towards a wall adorned with a lot of framed photographs, he couldn't help but smile when he saw a photo of Raquel, she was 5 or 6 years old, she was crying and in her hand she had a tooth, the same one that was missing from her teeth. Then there was another, a man was holding a tiny baby wrapped in a knitted blanket and with the name _Raquel_ embroidered in a corner with purple thread, his smile grew bigger.

Then there was another, she looked older, 9 or 10 years old, she was next to whom he assumed was Alicia, due to the peculiar auburn of her hair, they both looked happy, each one climbed in colorful inflatable floats in a pool; next to it was a picture of when Raquel graduated from high school, smiling and proudly showing her diploma next to her mother and, apparently, her father.

But there was one that particularly caught his attention, it seemed relatively recent, in it were Mariví, Alicia and in the middle of them Raquel, they were in front of _El Estanque del Retiro_ , they were laughing, they looked _so_ happy; Mariví seemed to be wiping tears, probably of laughter, Raquel had her head thrown back, covering her mouth with her hand and next to her Alicia looked at her, also laughing, but what caught his attention was Alicia's hand on Raquel’s abdomen… like cradling it, and more than that, she... she looked pregnant.

Sergio frowned and looked more closely at the photograph, maybe he was seeing things, maybe it was the dress she was wearing, the angle, her posture. He didn't know much about Raquel, meaning for a long time, but he definitely knew that she _did not_ have children. Neither Alicia nor his brother, much less Raquel herself, had mentioned anything to him about children. Sergio shook his head, no, he was definitely seeing things. Suddenly he felt himself blushing for assuming that she was pregnant just because her belly looked somewhat swollen, so he kept looking at pictures until Mariví was back.

“Nice photos,” Sergio complimented when he saw Mariví.

"Those are just a few, I have many more." She chuckled.

Sergio felt the curiosity scratch him inside, he _really_ wanted to ask her about that photo, but he also thought that it wasn’t the time, he was there for more important matters, "how is Raquel?"

"She wants to see you," she said and his eyes sparkled, "Go!" She encouraged him.

Sergio walked past her and went up the stairs two at a time to Raquel's room, she was sitting on the bed propped up on a mound of pillows, looking towards the window, but with the curtains closed.

He knocked on the door with his knuckle, “Raquel,” he said her name.

"Hey" She said in an extremely soft voice, she looked at him, smiling slightly, although it was easy to notice how the smile didn’t fully reach her eyes. The hell of the night before was still present in them. Her face still bruised and flushed, so was her chest.

Sergio stood still at the foot of the bed, holding the bouquet of flowers and the basket of cookies, but not knowing what to say next.

"I don’t bite." Raquel said, breaking the ice.

Sergio smiled, he couldn't believe that after all, she was still trying to put on a good face, "this is for you, I hope you like them."

He handed her the bouquet of tulips, and he could see how this time the smile did reach her eyes. Raquel took the bouquet in her hands, admiring the beauty of the flowers, running her finger along the soft petals.

"These are for you too," he put the cookie basket on the bed next to her, "I hope you like them."

"Sergio, I... thank you very much," she looked at him with gratitude, "no one had ever given me flowers.”

“That I can't believe."

"Really!"

Raquel set the bouquet aside and picked up the basket of cookies, inspecting all of them beaming broadly. Sergio was staring at her intently.

"Thank you," she repeated again and he gave her a little bow with his head. "Sergio, you can talk."

"Excuse me?"

"You can talk. I notice you are tense, as if you were walking on eggshells... I am aware of what happened and... I won’t feel offended if you talk to me about it, with you less than anyone else, you were there! And rest assured that if I cry, it won’t be of sadness. So please, don’t treat me like I'm made of glass, I could take anything but that."

"No, Raquel, I... what I don't want is to make you feel uncomfortable."

Raquel huffed, “come here,” she patted the spot next to her, and he sat facing her, “look, Sergio… no matter what you say, _nothing_ would make me feel more uncomfortable than what Alberto already made me feel… I don't need to, no, I _don't_ _want_ you to pity me, I don't want you to treat me like a piece of china."

"I would never pity you."

"I don't want you to think I'm an idiot for not ending that relationship earlier, and maybe yes, maybe I was, but not anymore."

“No matter how long it took you, Raquel, the important thing is that you did it, doing it takes courage and unfortunately some women never do it. You are not an idiot, you are brave, you are a survivor."

“I feel so embarrassed and so angry that it took a blow to get out of that relationship, I should have done it when Mi—” she came to a halt, “when he raised his voice to me for the first time… but I think if all women decided to end a relationship at the first red flag, there would be no battered women.”

“There was no way you knew what was going to happen. Raquel, all couples argue and raise their voices at some point, how were you going to know what he could do to you?"

Raquel sobbed and took Sergio's hand, “my life will not be enough to thank you for being there for me. Thank you,"

"I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else."

_"RAQUEL! RAQUEL!"_

It was Alicia coming up the stairs calling her friend, in seconds she was on the threshold and ran to Raquel. Seeing this, Sergio immediately got up, giving them space.

Alicia and Raquel burst into tears as soon as they saw each other. Alicia wanted to hug her, but she hesitated, afraid of hurting her.

"Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me for not having been there!” Alicia begged Raquel crying, her hands trembling at the helplessness of seeing her friend so badly hurt that she couldn’t take her in a tight hug, fearing hurting her.

Even with the pain that, despite the painkillers, Raquel still felt, she hugged Alicia. It was a heartbreaking scene, Sergio felt out of place, so he left the room to leave them alone, until he heard Raquel's words and froze.

"I want to kill him!" Raquel cried full of hatred. "I want to kill him, Alicia, I want to kill him!"

Sergio remained outside the room, in the gloom of the corridor, eavesdropping on what was happening inside the room, filling himself with hatred when he heard Raquel so upset again.

"Yes, my love, yes, I know." Alicia consoled her, stroking her back very gently, until Raquel pulled back, and looked at her dead in the eyes.

“I mean it."

"Raquel." Alicia breathed.

“I mean it, I want to kill him. With my own hands." Raquel said between clenched teeth.

"Raquel, you can't do that, that... that would end very quickly with him!”

“That's what I want! Get rid of him _now_. I don't want to live knowing that he's out there."

"Why don't you leave it in the hands of justice? I am sure that—"

"Justice? What justice? " Raquel cried, “Do you mean the entire National Police, who have him on a pedestal as the best of the forensic? To all that group of lawyers, judges and prosecutors with whom he meets almost every weekend to get drunk? THAT JUSTICE?! We know the law _and_ his connections… he would be free on bail, and what about me? I don't want to live in fear of meeting him face to face again."

" _Cariño_ , listen to what you're saying, doing something like that could end your life, you could go to jail, ruin your career that took you so many years to build, Raquel, you're not a murderer!”

Raquel gave her a serious expression, "blows change people." She grunted.

Outside, Sergio had heard everything and like Alicia when he saw Raquel, he was shaking, shaking with rage, an almost blinding rage. He had never wanted to hit someone so much in his life, he wanted to see that man suffer, he wanted to see Raquel in peace. Her words from the night before about killing someone and crime scenes echoing in his ears, gaining a new meaning.

"Look, Raquel, we'll see what to do with Alberto later, but for now, why don't we go on vacation?" Alicia proposed to Raquel, trying to push the lethal thoughts out of her mind. "I will postpone the wedding and you and I are going—"

"No! Alicia, no, please, you don't have to cancel your plans for me. Also, the wedding is in a couple of weeks, you can't postpone everything now!”

“It’s ok, I want you to be okay, even Andrés suggested it to me."

“No,” she shook her head, “no, no, no, I'll be fine in a few days, the rest... I'm angry, and I'm sad and today I'll cry and scream... today I'll be weak, but not tomorrow. I don't want to give Alberto the satisfaction of seeing me crumbling down.”

“You know it's okay _not_ to be okay, don't you? Don't force yourself to be okay."

"I know... but I also know that I can't fall into that bottomless hole... we already know what happened the last time I did."

Alicia stroked Raquel's hair, tucking a lock behind her ear, swallowing when she saw the wound on her forehead, “You have no idea how much I love you and how proud I am of you. You are the strongest woman I know."

Both friends hugged each other again, while outside, Sergio listened as they cried. He pushed up his glasses and went downstairs where his brother was chatting with Mariví.

"Andres, I need to talk to you." Sergio told his brother seriously.

"Tell me."

"In private."

"I..." Mariví began, "I'll go see if the girls need anything." She went to join Raquel and Alicia, leaving them alone.

"How is Raquel?" Andrés asked him.

"She will be fine, eventually."

"I'm glad."

"Well, first of all I wanted to ask you if you have any problem with me taking Raquel to your summer house in Rome."

"Will you take her with you? Don't you love going there to spend the summer alone?"

"I will propose her to, and well... I just want to get her out of here, take her to a quiet place, that she recovers in peace."

Andrés nodded slowly, giving him an inquiring look, “No, don't take her to Rome, too much noise, too many people, too much pollution. Better take her to the villa in Lombardy; the vineyards, the lake and the countryside will do her good."

Sergio nodded in agreement, “yeah! Good idea.”

“Well there you have it. Propose her it."

"There is one more thing." Sergio took Andrés by the arm, heading towards the backyard. He wanted privacy for what he was going to say next. "Do you... do you still have contact with the Serbs?"

Andres was surprised by such a question, “The Serbs? why? I thought you didn't like my friendship with those people."

"I never thought that one day I would need them."

"You? Need them?" Andrés frowned.

“Do you have it or not?!” Sergio insisted.

"Yes, I still have it, why?"

"I want them to _get rid_ of Alberto, Raquel's ex." Sergio said and his brother had never seen him speak with such conviction.

Andrés tried to hide his astonishment, that wasn’t normal for Sergio. His brother wasn’t a violent or vindictive person. He was getting _too_ involved with Raquel and under other circumstances he would have been glad, but those circumstances had changed, they had changed the night before.

"Sergio, can I give you some advice?" Andrés offered his brother.

"Go ahead."

"Take good care of your words and your actions."

Sergio frowned, “what? why?"

"Raquel is in a _very_ vulnerable situation, and since you are so reluctant to any type of romantic relationship... it would be better if you keep your distance."

"What? What are you talking about?!” Sergio scoffed, “what does one thing have to do with the other? Also, Raquel is an adult woman, so am I, we both know that we are friends, believe it or not, brother, friendship between a man and a woman is possible.”

“I know, I know, I'm not questioning that… but I remind you that feelings are not something you can control. Like I said, Raquel is vulnerable and maybe she will cling to whatever or whoever shows her affection, it is a normal and unconscious reaction. But what is also normal and unconscious are feelings, those develop without one planning it, it’s not like one day one wakes up and says ‘today I'm going to fall in love’, that just happens, without us noticing. So I suggest you to take good care of what you do and what you say, not for you, but for her, she has already gone through hell and back, you don’t deserve that she harbor feelings for you."

Despite the fact that Sergio agreed with some of his brother's speech, he felt very offended by the last part, "I don't deserve what?"

“I was very clear, Sergio, and so were you. You don't want any kind of romantic relationship, so if you don't want to risk developing developing deeper feelings, better stay away from her.”

"Then why did you encourage me to take her to Italy?!” Sergio argued.

Andrés took his arm tightly and brought him closer to him, "because that was before I knew that you not only want to take her on a friends’ trip, but you also want to _murder_ for her." He grunted through clenched teeth.

Sergio released himself from his brother's grip harshly, “Have you seen her? Have you seen how that damn bastard hurt her?" He growled, "This has absolutely _nothing_ to do with romantic feelings, I assure you that if it had been Alicia you would want to do the same!”

“Yeah, because I _love_ Alicia. Watch out, Sergio, watch out… it started as a joke, but the clouds of feelings have already started to cloud your reasoning." Sergio avoided looking his brother in the eye. "But don't worry, I'll take care of everything, I'll call the Serbs, you go and have a good time with Raquel in Italy, but watch out." Without giving him the opportunity to respond, Andrés returned inside the house where at the same time Alicia and Mariví were coming down from being with Raquel.

Andrés took Alicia in his arms, comforting her after having seen her friend. Sergio was looking at them carefully and shuddered when, unexpectedly, his mind created a similar scenario, only that it was him, taking Raquel in his arms and kissing the top of her head.

He tried to put the thoughts aside, but the more he tried his mind elaborated them deeply. He was already creating in his mind a whole scenario of their time in Italy, and he hadn’t even proposed it to her yet.

Sergio felt terrible for a moment, Raquel was going through a difficult moment while he was there, imagining having her in his arms again, imagining what their time in Italy would be like. But he couldn't help it.

_it’s not like one day one wakes up and says ‘today I'm going to fall in love’._ No, it wasn't that. He was sure, it wasn’t love...

"How is Raquel?" Sergio asked.

“Good, good,” Alicia replied, “we had an emotional moment, but she is already calmer, a little sleepy now. By the way, she wants to see you again."

Immediately, Andrés gave him a look, "see me?" Sergio asked.

"Yeah, you better go up now, before she falls asleep." Alicia told him.

Sergio walked and headed upstairs, "let's see if you can convince her to eat!” Mariví asked him.

"My brother has been very close to Raquel." Andrés pointed out.

"Your brother has been a guardian angel to my Raquel!” Mariví answered. "I can't thank him enough."

Andrés nodded without saying a word, then excused himself to go out to the backyard to make a call. It was time to call the Serbs.

Upstairs, Sergio entered Raquel's room, she was lying on her side, almost falling asleep.

"Hey," Sergio murmured, "Alicia told me you wanted to see me."

"Yeah," Raquel said, "I would sit up but the painkillers are in full swing."

Sergio chuckled, "in that case, let me join you,” and then he lay down next to her, both face to face.

"I just wanted to tell you ... I don't know if I'll see you again before the wedding, so I wanted to thank you again for everything you did for me." Raquel said, looking him straight in the eye. Unlike the night before, that time it wasn't uncomfortable, it felt more like natural.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, that's what friends are for." Sergio answered.

"You are already more than _just_ a friend, Sergio."

He smiled, as a sensation in his stomach stirred quite a few things inside him. "You too. But… don't say we won't see each other again, I want to keep seeing you."

“Do you want to come again to see me sleep high on painkillers?"

"And make you eat."

Raquel groaned, "my mother has already talked to you."

He laughed slightly, "don't hold it against her, she cares about you, so do I."

Raquel slid her hand across the quilt, and took Sergio's hand and again there was the giddy feeling inside him. "I wanted to propose something to you, but I'd better wait for those painkillers to wear off."

"Tell me now." She asked.

"You are not going to remember tomorrow." Sergio mocked.

“The you will repeat it to me."

Sergio smiled widely, “I wanted to invite you to come with me to Italy to spend a few days in Andrés's villa. You don't have to answer me right now, think about it and— "

"Yes." Raquel accepted right away.

"Yes?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Sergio, thank you."

"You already thanked me.”

"No, this time thanks for being you... I mean, for ignoring the bruises and just being you... and letting me be me, without the shadow of what happened looming over us, please keep doing it."

"I will."

Raquel gave his hand a squeeze and closed her eyes, minutes later she was sound asleep, but Sergio couldn't take his eyes off of her. His heart was pounding against his chest and he felt short of breath, but he was sure it wasn't an anxiety attack… but he wasn't sure what it was. He wanted to stay there. He was so excited to go to Italy.

"What is this?" He muttered to himself. At that time his cell phone beeped with a text, it was Andrés.

_“I've contacted the Serbs, the work will be done soon.”_

* * *

-

-

-

-

_**SNEAK PEEK...** _

"I have feelings," Raquel said out of nowhere, without looking at Alicia, her eyes lost in the beautiful garden of the ex-monastery.

"What?" Alicia frowned, sipping her cup of coffee.

"I have feelings," Raquel repeated.

“Ok?" Alicia trailed off, “so what? Do you want a cookie or something?"

Raquel looked at her, her heart pounding in her throat, there was no turning back, "I have feelings... for Sergio."

Alicia's eyes widened, "WHAT?! Feelings? As in..."

"As in 'my hands sweat, my heart leaps, my head spins every time I see him' feelings."

"Oh, my god, Raquel!"

"I'm such an idiot!" She put her head on her hands, "the worst of all is that I think he's still hung up on his ex."

"Raquel, what happened at the villa?"

Raquel doubted whether or not to tell Alicia about _that_ moment they had shared...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sergio and the Serbs!!! 😱
> 
> He is getting too involved, don't you think?
> 
> Do you think he should tell Raquel about his plan? 😳
> 
> And they are going to Italy!! 👀
> 
> With that sneak peek, what will happen there?! 😳
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!!! 🤗


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still reading this? 🙈 If you are, thank you!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, a lot of work and a lot of life AND a "block", it wasn't a block-block, but it happens when I have A LOT of ideas and my brains collapses with excess of information and I can't write 😅 which means I have A LOT of ideas for this fic (maybe even a second part) so i hope you stick with me 🥺
> 
> I want to clarify, this is transitional chapter, but I really, really wanted to add it so i can set you all a little bit more in Sergio's "psyche", but don't worry, the next chapter is already half done, so you won't have to wait that long.
> 
> AND about that, I have a question at the end... 👀
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE reading your reviews, comments, theories 💜💜💜💜💜
> 
> Thanks to Em, for always being so nice and proofread every chapter 🥰🥰🥰

* * *

> _**Give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly...** _
> 
> * * *

The next day, after much talking and insistence, Alicia and her mother managed to convince Raquel to go and file a complaint against Alberto. Take advantage of the fact that she still had the evidence in her body and that Alicia had gone to photograph the scene in her apartment to show it as evidence, too.

Raquel and Alicia were waiting for their turn at the station to make her statement. It was so weird to be on the other side, usually she was the one looking at people hoping for a bit of justice, and now she was the one doing it. She wanted to believe in the system that she knew better than anyone, the same system that had failed so many people and would probably fail her as well. But there was no other option, Alicia and her mother were right, if something happened to Alberto, the first to be targeted would be her.

Everyone around was looking at her with curiosity, all those people she knew well. The thousands of questions were so clear on their faces, they couldn't wait to know _everything_ and she couldn't wait to _beg_ the earth to open beneath her feet and swallow her when the news broke at the station, her name on everyone's lips.

"What's taking so long?!" Alicia complained, getting up from her seat, "Martinez, what the hell is going on?!" She questioned one of the policemen, “No one is working? Useless people!"

"Alicia!" Raquel was trying to calm her down, pulling her arm back to sit down, "we know how this is, calm down!"

Alicia huffed and sat back down, at that moment, Raquel's cell phone went off. It was Sergio, she tried to hide her smile, she got up and moved away from the noise to answer the call.

"Sergio!"

"Raquel, how are you?"

"Better, this morning I woke up much less sore."

"I'm very happy. Are you home? I hear a lot of noise." Sergio inquired when he heard the hustle and bustle in the background.

"No, I'm at the station," Raquel took a deep breath, “I've decided to denounce Alberto.”

“De-denounce, that-that's pretty good!”

"Yeah..." Raquel wanted to tell him more, but she was afraid that someone at the station would hear her, so signing to Alicia that she was coming back soon, she went out to the street to continue the call. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Sure!"

“I… I'm not very proud of what I'm going to say, and I hope you don't judge me, but… I thought about hurting him, you know… however Alicia made me reconsider, that would literally be the worst thing I could do, everything would blow up in my face, I could lose everything and Alberto doesn’t deserve that I lose what I’ve worked so hard to obtain."

On the other end of the phone, Sergio swallowed hard when he heard that. _Joder, joder, joder_. Raquel was right, if something happened to that bastard, all eyes would immediately fall on Raquel, she would be the main suspect and perhaps the only one. _JODER!_

Sergio's heart immediately raced and his hands began to shake. ”Well... I would never judge you, after everything he did to you I would say it's an almost normal feeling, but tell me, have you heard from him?"

“Nothing, his phone sends directly to the voicemail. The bastard knows what he did and he's probably hiding."

"Probably." With each second that passed, Sergio felt more and more anxious, “look, Raquel, I was just calling to see how you were doing, I'm a bit busy now, I’ll call you later to see how it went at the station, bye."

Without giving Raquel time to answer back, Sergio hung up the phone and immediately called his brother.

"Andrés!" He exclaimed as soon as he answered the phone.

" _Hermanito_ , to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Andrés! Andrés, abort, abort, abort mission!"

"What are you talking about?”

"Alberto. Please, tell me the Serbs haven't done anything yet!” Andrés was silent for a few seconds, "Andrés!"

"May I know, what made you change your mind?"

"Raquel, she... she is going to denounce Alberto, and she is right, if something happens to her ex, everyone will go after her.”

"I see that she does have common sense."

"Andrés, this is no time for your stupid jokes! Tell me the Serbs haven't done anything yet!"

Andrés chuckled cynically, "they haven’t done anything, nor will they, in fact I never contacted them."

"What? Then why…”

“Because I wanted to see how far you were capable of going. Yesterday, that wasn't you, Sergio, and I knew that one way or another you would call off the plan. You are _not_ a murderer, and even if you didn’t call it off, I wasn’t going to allow you to carry the burden of murdering someone in your conscience.”

Sergio exhaled in relief, flopping onto the couch, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Thank you," he whispered.

"But Sergio, that doesn't mean that what that man did isn’t going to be punished, but we have to be smart, okay?"

"Okay. And what do you propose?"

"Alicia told me that Raquel's biggest fear is his connections, well, luckily I have them too."

Sergio scoffed, "Andrés, Alberto is friends with practically the entire National Police."

"I know, but even so, I don't think he has that much po—"

"Everyone there has him on a damn pedestal, Andrés!" Sergio grunted between clenched teeth, "he's friends with everyone there!"

“And I am a friend of the damn president and even the king of this nation! Damn it, Sergio, give me some credit, I know I'm your brother, but you forget who you're talking to!”

Sergio exhaled sharply, his brother was right, if there was someone who had connections, _good_ connections that was Andrés, both in the elite and in the underworld.

Somehow that made him feel calmer, he knew that if Andrés played his cards right, and he would, Alberto would be paying for what he did in the blink of an eye. "And what are you going to do?" Sergio asked.

“To start, make a few calls. By the time you and Raquel return from Italy, she will already have a restraining order, the rest… I swear that I’ll do everything possible so that he goes to jail without having to subject Raquel to a trial."

"Can you do that?!”

“Everything is possible in this life. As of right now, Alberto Vicuña's career is over, we'll see if he still wants to hit women. We will make of his stay in jail a Disneyland ride.” Andrés laughed.

“Thanks, Andrés. Thank you, thank you, thank you. In Raquel's name and mine." Sergio thanked his brother with immense relief.

"Sergio, what is happening? I mean it, this isn't you, you are getting too involved with Raquel, you are getting blinded by your own emotions."

“No, no, no, it's not that… well, partly… Andrés, if you had seen her, she… she was shattered, both mentally and physically… I had never felt so much anger in my life, never. I guess I didn't know how to handle it, and this has nothing to do with romanticism, I would have done it for any woman, just like you will for Raquel, I mean it. No woman in the world deserves to go through that."

"I get it. So Raquel, nothing?"

"Nothing."

“Sergio… you know that you can talk to me, always, right? I know sometimes I'm an annoying jerk, but I love you, and I care about you."

"I know.”

“Isn’t that maybe you're having feelings? You know…” Sergio remained silent, “because if you are, it's fine, why not delve into them? Why not explore them? You've already suffered so much, Sergio."

"I'm fine the way I am, I don't have time, I'm not looking for, and I don't want a relationship.”

“In that case… be careful, remember what we talked about yesterday, for your sake and for Raquel’s.”

“I will.”

"Okay."

Andrés answered sympathetically, he didn’t want to pull his brother's strings even more, although deep down he knew, or, at least, sensed his motives. It was pure fear. _Fear_ of a new love disappointment, _fear_ of loss. Sergio couldn’t bear more loss, not after having lost all his loved ones, not after his love disappointment and _not_ at the imminence of losing his brother, that would _destroy_ him completely.

“By the way,” Andrés said, “everything is ready for Italy, the jet is ready, drivers and in the villa, just as you asked, two rooms ready and only the necessary staff. Raquel will love that place."

"Good! Good, good, good. Well, I have to go, and Andrés… thank you."

"Always, _hermanito_."

Back home, Raquel was so drained of having poured all her experience in front of her boss, so humiliated at having shown him the evidence, and so angry at having noticed some skepticism on his part. Alicia invited her to go to her apartment, she wanted to pamper her, cook her dinner, watch a movie, but Raquel refused, she wasn’t in the mood, she just wanted to go back home, to her safe place.

When she arrived, she found her mother cleaning two suitcases in the backyard.

"Mom, what are you doing?!”

" _Hija_ , how did it go?!” Mariví asked her, eager to know how it had gone at the station.

Raquel huffed, "good, or so I think, I don't know, to begin with I applied for a restraining order and filed a complaint for mistreatment, from there we will see what proceeds.”

"Everything will be fine, _cariño_ , trust the justice, not trusting it would be like not trusting yourself!”

Raquel smiled sadly at her mother, she had no idea how undervalued she was in the police force, how much they undermined her authority on a daily basis and how corrupt the system she worked for was, they imparted everything except justice. “You are right, Mom. But now tell me, what are you doing with these suitcases?" She changed the subject.

"Oh, I just got them out of the attic and I'm cleaning them, nobody has used them for so long, they are for Italy!”

Raquel laughed, "Mom, I'm going for a week, not a year!"

"So what? You better have enough space if you want to bring something from there, I don't know, souvenirs. Oh, _mi amor_ , you haven't been on vacations for so long! I think I'm more excited than you!”

“Mom, we are not going to the city. From what Sergio told me, it's this winemaking villa in the countryside, in Lombardy."

"Really?! It sounds so nice, come on, tell me more!” Mariví asked chirpily and linked her arm with Raquel's, going to the kitchen and pouring a glass of lemonade for each of them.

“Like I said, according to Sergio it’s a very nice villa and it’s very close to a lake. Also, it has a vineyard, there they produce one of their lines of wine."

"Wow!" Mariví beamed, “it sounds so interesting! Maybe you can bring some bottles!”

Raquel laughed, "Oh, mom!"

"So, is that where they make their wine?"

"I don't know, I don't know much about it, just what Sergio and Alicia have told me. Apparently they have vineyards and wineries all over Italy, depending on the region and the grape, is the kind of wine they produce."

"Wow... then, they are very important people, aren't they?"

Raquel shrugged, "I imagine.”

" _Hija_ , why don't you ask them to help you?" Raquel shook her head, she already knew where her mother was going, “ _mi amor_ , they surely have a lot of connections and better than Alberto's, maybe they—"

"No, mom! It would be so embarrassing to ask them for a favor like that, imagine what they would think of me!”

Mariví pursed her lips in resignation.

The days passed by, and the day to go to Italy had come. The night before, Raquel couldn’t sleep _at all_ , she cursed that her treatment of painkillers was over, at least those would’ve helped her to calm down enough to ignore the huge knot that she felt in the pit of her stomach. When it finally dawned, she was wide awake.

Sergio was going to pick her up at 9am, their flight would leave at 10am. So there she was, like when she was a child and her father would take them to the beach, ready even hours before, excited by the adventure that traveling always involved. However, this time it was different, her enthusiasm wasn’t due to the excitement and innocence of a little girl who goes on a trip with her parents, it was due to the excitement and non-innocence of a woman who was going on vacation with a man.

Raquel tried to shake off the feeling, but it was useless, it was something, _something_ deep inside her that stirred every time she thought of Sergio. The idea of spending a week, alone with him, in the middle of nowhere made her feel all kinds of emotions.

" _Cariño_? What are you doing up so early?" Mariví was surprised when she went downstairs to the kitchen around 7am and saw Raquel fully dressed, her suitcase ready by the door.

Raquel didn’t want to tell her mother that she couldn’t sleep, she knew that if she did, she wouldn’t hear the end of it, making up all kinds of stories and like Alicia, probably playing cupid. "Oh, it's my biological clock," she chuckled, "my body is used to waking up early."

Mariví gave her a narrowing look, but said nothing about it, "in that case let's have breakfast!”

"Yeah!"

During breakfast, Raquel's head was elsewhere, occasionally glancing at her wristwatch, counting the minutes, until her heart leaped when she heard the doorbell.

“I'm going!" Raquel got up from her chair before her mother could and went to open the door with a bright smile.

"Raquel!" Sergio smiled back when he saw her. "Ready?" She nodded energetically.

"Do you want to have a coffee before we go?"

"Sure!"

" _Hijo_ , you are finally here!" Mariví exclaimed when she saw Sergio, "she kept counting the minutes!”

"Mom!" Raquel chided her, “she-she's joking."

Sergio chuckled, "by the way, I brought this for you," he handed her a parcel wrapped in brown paper with a thread, "I hope you like it."

Raquel took the package very excited, "should I open it now?"

"Yes, yes, open it!" Mariví said, "I want to see what it is!”

So Raquel undid the tie of the thread and tore the paper, inside were three books, the three remaining books from the saga of _La Sombra del Viento_.

"You will have plenty of time to read." Sergio said, "you will love reading by the pool or on the porch with a glass of wine."

“Oh, my god, Sergio, thank you!" Without thinking twice, she gave him a _tight_ hug. Sergio took her gently, rubbing her back, lying his head on her head. It didn’t go unnoticed by Mariví the way they held each other, her mother's instinct told her that there was something else going on with those two.

Later, they left for the airport where Andrés's jet was already waiting for them to start their journey. It was a pleasant flight, they chatted nicely, with the ease and confidence that the last few days had given them. 

It could be said that their relationship was one before and after _that_ night in the hospital. They turned that horrible event into something beautiful, a beautiful friendship, at least something good had come out of all that.

After a few hours of flight and others more by road, they were finally in the villa. It was an impressive place, a place that Raquel had only seen in those American rom-coms filmed in Italy. And, for her taste, it was a thousand times more beautiful than the ex-monastery.

It was a huge Mediterranean-style villa, large gardens, vineyard fields, fruit trees, a pool and in the distance a beautiful lake, just the sight of all that made her relax, her shoulders and neck that had been tense in the last days, relaxed.

Sergio let her wander around the property, following her close behind, smiling widely when he saw her looking around with such wonder. She was like a miracle, she was there, smiling and finding the wonder in the little things just days after she had been through hell.

"Sergio!" Raquel exclaimed almost out of breath, “this… this is like heaven! Oh my, I still haven’t seen the rest and I don't want to leave this place ever!"

"I'm happy that you like this place so much, and in my brother's words, consider this your home as well, you are invited to come back whenever you want."

"Maybe you’ll regret saying that, you won’t be able to get me out of here!”

Sergio laughed, "That would be great, just like the ex-monastery, no one comes to this place, sometimes we spend Christmas here, but not always.”

Raquel walked to the edge of one of the gardens, delimiting a ravine by a railing, beyond it, dozens of trees, and beyond the trees, the lake sparkling with the sun rays, tiny boats here and there. "Can we go to the lake?!" She turned around and asked eagerly.

"To the lake, and to the stables, the vineyards, the winery, the cellars... I’ll show you the whole place, but first I want to show you your room, in case you want to cool off a bit.”

"Ugh! If my skin wasn't still so irritated I would put on a swimsuit and run to the lake or I'd dive in the pool!"

"Is your skin still irritated?”

Raquel shrugged dismissively, "Just my shoulders, a little irritated, I can't be under the sun for too long."

"You can dip your feet in the pool, or swim when the sun goes down, or at night"

“Yeah, good idea!"

"Now, shall we go?" Sergio offered her his arm and they both walked arm in arm.

They entered the house and again Raquel was speechless, everything was so elegant and tasteful, everything in shades of cream and white and wood.

Sergio led her upstairs and to the end of a corridor where there were two doors exactly one in front of the other.

"This is your room, and this is mine” Sergio told her, pointing at the door in front of her room, "your suitcase is already in there."

Raquel opened the double doors of her room and when she thought that nothing could surprise her anymore, her room proved otherwise, it was huge, her entire apartment could fit perfectly in there.

A living room, a fireplace, and a queen-size bed. Raquel went to another double door finding a huge walk-in closet and a bathroom.

"Come here." Sergio asked her, directing her towards one of the French doors that led to a large terrace.

“My god!" Raquel sighed when she saw the view from her room. She couldn't believe she was in such a beautiful place.

"You like it?" He asked.

"Are you kidding?! I'm in love with this place! I'm sorry, but you won’t be able to get me out of here."

Sergio chuckled, "Well, Andrés… it’s his house."

"It's _your_ house, too, he’s your brother, you’re family."

Sergio's smile faded, "half brother.”

"Your brother, your mother birthed you both, he is your brother, as you told me that time, your _full_ brother."

“His father must be twisting in his grave knowing that I’m in charge of his business and making use of his properties. He never liked me... long story.”

"We have a week to catch up." Raquel smiled.

"We have a week to catch up, indeed.” He smiled back at her.

"For now, let's make the 'twisting in his grave' worth it… show me the rest of the house."

Sergio laughed out loud, "let's make it worth it then!"

Sergio took Raquel by the hand, it was only the first day, and he was already thinking about the end, he _didn't_ want the day of returning to Spain to come… It was only the _first_ day.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, they are in Italy!!!
> 
> What will happen over there?!? 👀 😳
> 
> About that, next chapter is already 2K words, and it's very far from being over, so I'd like to know, how do you feel about a long chapter? or you prefer it in two parts? LET ME KNOW!!!
> 
> And thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means a lot to me 💜💜💜


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***PLEASE, READ***
> 
> So, I have good and bad news 😳
> 
> The bad news is that this is not the long chapter, BUT it is 3.6k words long.
> 
> The good news is that what were initially 2k words became almost 10k that's why I decided to split it.  
> The next chapter will be longer, about 5 - 5.5k words and will be up the following Wednesday (while those who read this fic catch up with the update) 
> 
> I want to apologize if in the comments I tell you that I'm already working on new chapters and then it takes years to update, but in addition to the crazy life, I like to read and reread each chapter before updating, making sure everything is ok (plot wise). Besides, that way I come with more ideas 😊  
> Said that, i'm already working on chapter 13 😊
> 
> As always, corrections by Em. Thanks, dear!! 🥰
> 
> And let me know what you think!!!

* * *

> _**Stars are falling, are we falling too?** _
> 
> * * *

It was a chilly but sunny morning, after having breakfast, Raquel decided to take one of the books Sergio had given her, go out to the garden and lie down under the canopy of a round poolside bed.

She was so focused on her reading when she suddenly felt a weird and moist sensation on her feet, putting the book aside she found nothing more and nothing less than a chubby Labrador puppy licking her feet while another tried to climb onto the bed.

Raquel's heart swelled with tenderness, she sat up and took one of the puppies in her hands and gave it a kiss, immediately the puppy licked her entire face and out of nowhere she already had 6 puppies at her feet.

"I see they already welcomed you!” Sergio joined in, sitting next to her, taking one of the puppies and putting it on his lap, letting it bite and chew his index finger.

"Where did they come from?! I didn't see them yesterday when we arrived!”

“They spend most of their time with their mom in the stables,” as in cue, the big and proud mom came to join them, laying down next to Raquel's feet, the pups immediately jumping and playing around her.

"They are so cute!" Raquel gushed, cradling a puppy. Then she sighed, and looked around, “you know? This place is bringing back too many memories of my childhood."

"Really? As which?" Sergio asked.

"From when we went to my grandparents' house in the countryside, it wasn’t as beautiful as this one, of course," she chuckled, "but I loved that place, the nature, the cows, the dogs."

"Oh, I see you love dogs!”

"But I love cats more, my grandma had this fat and sullen cat, but I adored him, he didn't let anyone touch him except my grandma and me."

Sergio smiled, he could perfectly picture that girl with the toothless smile that he had seen in the photographs, running in the field after the dogs, or playing with the cat.

"Did you have a good childhood?" He asked.

Raquel thought about it, recalling all the happy moments of her childhood. “Very,” she smiled, “a very, very happy childhood. I can say that I was a very happy child, I was an only child, so I was also a very spoiled one, but I was very happy… I can't remember a time when I wasn't, and you?"

Sergio sighed, “Mine… mine was bittersweet. As I told you that night in the monastery, it was a life of poverty and at first I didn’t care, I had my parents and my brother... but, when we found out about Andrés’ illness his father took him away and I was left alone."

"And, you couldn't visit him?"

“His father hated my father, and therefore me too, he blamed him for Andrés' illness, he said it was the fault of our narrow circumstances, but in reality it’s something genetic, on his part. Even so, he always hated us, he allowed my mother to see him, out of compassion, sometimes she took me secretly and the three of us spent the time of our lives... he gave me toys and clothes and... he gave his pocket money to our mom."

"It's what any older son and brother would do."

“I know, but for my mom it was embarrassing. Then she died when I was 11 years old, cancer, and it was just my father and I until he also died when I was 14; during all that time I didn’t see Andrés even once, nor did I receive a letter or a call from him... his father wouldn't let him."

"I'm so sorry, it must have been really hard for you."

"It was. After my father died Andrés managed to convince his father to take me in so that I wouldn’t be sent to foster care until I turned 18.”

“Wait, you told me that night at the ex-monastery that it wasn't until after his father's death that you guys reconnected.”

“Well, it was part true. It's a period of time that I don't like to remember, I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with you at the time. I left his house when I was 20, and didn’t see him again until after his father’s death. Sometimes I wish he had never taken me in.”

"Was it that bad?”

Sergio chuckled humorlessly, “a hell on earth. I never told Andrés anything about this, but his father was ruthless with me, he never hit me, but his words and actions of rejection towards me were equal or more painful. Matilde, the housekeeper, she was the only one who made me feel better when Andrés was away.”

"But why did you never say anything? How is it that Andrés never realized?" Raquel asked, outraged to hear how Sergio had been mistreated by Andrés's father.

Sergio wiped a tear from the corner of his eye with his finger very quickly, then he fixed his gaze on the puppy that was already sleeping on his lap, gently stroking it. “Andrés had a very bad time with his illness, he spent a lot of time in hospitals and when he was at home the last thing I wanted was to burden him with my problems, I just wanted my brother to be with me. Besides, he loved his father, I didn't want to ruin the image he had of him."

"That is so selfless, Sergio, no child deserves to go through that." Raquel put her arm around Sergio's shoulders and gave him an encouraging squeeze.

"So I worked, and worked, and worked to be self-sufficient, I looked for scholarships to go to college... and well... here I am now."

"And you should be very proud of yourself... look back and look at yourself now, see how much you have accomplished by yourself... it's quite amazing!”

For the first time since he began to tell his story, Sergio looked at Raquel with eyes full of gratitude and a shy smile, “you know? I had never discussed this with anyone, whenever I tried it was very difficult for me, difficult to remember, difficult to put into words... but with you... it was so easy."

Raquel felt a burning wave rise from the core of her stomach, up her chest, to her face, "maybe it was the puppies!” Raquel smiled nervously, "did you know that it is proven that dogs can help patients that suffer from anxiety, depression or PTSD? They provide comfort, affection, and support.” She said, stroking the puppy that she was holding in her arms, avoiding looking at Sergio but feeling his gaze on her.

"Yeah... maybe." Sergio said and put his hand on Raquel's knee, "Thank you for listening to me."

Raquel swallowed a sigh, “You-you will always have someone in me to talk to, _always_. It doesn't matter the time or the day, seriously. That's what friends are for.”

"Well, too solemn for today, what do you want to do after lunch?!”

"Take me to the lake!"

"The lake it is, then!"

Sergio hung his gaze on Raquel's face, some soft greenish-purple colorations still visible on her cheek, the wound on her forehead barely a thin pink line now, but he looked past that... he could stare at her for hours, but he noticed how she avoided his gaze, focusing on the puppies, but as much as he tried to stop looking at her, he couldn't, it was as if someone was controlling his will.

"Look at these little nuggets, look at them!" She took a puppy and put it in front of his face, then snuggled it under her chin, giving it soft kisses, "I could live surrounded by puppies and kitties."

"They are adorable." Sergio agreed.

"How old are they?"

"They were born last month, the foreman was going to give them away, but Andrés didn't want to take them away from their mom."

"Really? That’s such a kind act on his part, even if they are animals, they feel, imagine this beauty,” she leaned down to pat and rub the mom, “suddenly not seeing her puppies.”

"Andrés has many issues with motherhood.”

"It's understandable, he was practically taken away from his mother... a child should always be with their mother, if she loves them, of course."

"Oh, and she did, she was devastated when they took him away."

"I understand the feeling perfectly well." Raquel mumbled and her words didn’t go unnoticed by Sergio, remembering _that_ photograph again.

"Raquel, you..." _Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it._ A small voice shouted inside him, something told him that ask her and if she has, or rather, had a child, wasn’t the smartest thing.

“Me, what?" Raquel frowned.

"You are very attached to your mother, aren't you?"

She laughed, “A lot, although sometimes we have our disagreements. She is a hippie in love with life and love, and she thinks that sometimes I am too serious... but I love her with all my heart, she is my safe place, that's why I asked you to take me home that night."

“She's an amazing woman… her witty remarks still take me aback tho,” he laughed, “but I really like her. She is a good woman."

"The best!”

Sergio nodded in agreement and decided to forget the subject. Whether or not she had a child was none of his business.

Later that day, after lunch, Sergio and Raquel left the villa for the lake.

"Let me guess, Andrés has a boat, too." Raquel joked with Sergio as they walked to the dock, making him laugh.

" _Bingo_! He has a boat, a yacht, a sailboat, and a catamaran... among other _toys,_ as he calls them. You have no idea how big his fortune is."

"I suddenly feel very guilty that I judged him so harshly when I met him, I thought he was just a rich and shallow man, but he is quite the opposite."

“Don't worry, it always happens. Andrés can come across as someone cold, materialistic and a womanizer... but nothing further from reality. Well, maybe the womanizer part a bit, but not since he's with Alicia. I can't believe how much he’s changed, he's not the same Andrés who couldn't wait for Milan or Paris fashion week to hunt down a model." Sergio laughed.

"What?! Are you serious?!”

"Very. He and his friends called it _Hunt Fashion Week_. Once I even caught him in bed with a very famous top model."

"Nooo! Who? Tell me who!" Raquel nudged his side and asked curiously.

Sergio leaned close to her ear and whispered the name of the famous top model, Raquel's eyes widened, “No way! Isn't she married?!”

Sergio shrugged, "apparently she wasn't that night." Raquel shook her head in amusement, "but don't worry, as I told you, since he's with Alicia he's another man."

"He better be!” She playfully warned him. "You love him very much, don't you?"

“A lot. I can't— ” he stopped.

"You can't..." she trailed off.

"I can't explain how much I love him.” Sergio didn't want to talk about how hard it was to accept the idea that he would die soon, "he's my only family, everything I have."

But Raquel knew better, she was aware of the situation and even she, with how little she knew Andrés, found it difficult to think about the moment of his death, it was something she didn’t even want to imagine, how destroyed Alicia was going to be, the same Sergio.

"But hey, you have friends too!” Raquel beamed and Sergio returned a smile.

Once on the boat, they went cruising, Sergio took her to tour a part of the lake so that she could appreciate the landscape. Raquel sat cross-legged on the deck and closed her eyes, feeling the air on every surface of her skin, on her face, on her scalp, on her neck, her chest, her arms. Her sensitive shoulders burning with the sun, but she was trying to switch the association of that burning sensation, to think of something else.

"Raquel!", Sergio called her, but she didn’t pay attention to his words, "Raquel!" Seeing that she was ignoring him, he took her hat and cardigan and went to the deck, "Raquel, you should wear this, the sun is still very strong."

"No, no, leave it." Raquel answered without opening her eyes.

"But Raquel—"

“I'm trying to do something.”

"What besides hurting your skin?"

"Association." Raquel said.

"Huh?"

"Association." Raquel opened her eyes but didn’t look at him, “since that night every time my skin stings the only thing I can think of is Alberto, his face full of hatred, the hot soup burning my skin… so I'm trying to give the pain a new meaning… I want to think of the sea, when my father took us on vacation and I spent so much time in the water, under the sun that at night I cried because of the sunburns, but the next day I was back in the water. I want to think of this moment, of this wonderful place, I want to think of… of all the beautiful moments that I have lived under the sun."

“I… Raquel,” Sergio sat next to her, “you are such an extraordinary woman, since we arrived here I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how wonderful it is that after everything you went through just a few days ago, you are here, back on your feet, smiling, looking at the silver linings.”

Raquel smiled shyly, "silver linings are what keep me sane, besides, I don't want to waste my life delving into what happened, I've decided to move on, as cheesy as that sounds."

"In my opinion, it's the best you can do."

“Don’t you think it's too soon?"

"Soon for what?"

“To move on. I don't know, people have this idea of pain and trauma... they hope that people are depressed for months, if they see you smiling soon after the tragedy they... they dismiss it, they think it wasn’t so serious, but each person has its way of grieving, each one bargains under their own terms… there is no rule that tells you how to cope with tragedy. For some it takes years, for others not so much; you may overcome some things in a few months, and others you may never overcome them.” Raquel ranted.

Sergio hummed, he felt alluded, “I couldn't agree more with you, everyone deals with pain on their own terms. I... I know someone, this person went through something extremely painful a few years ago and is still carrying it... but everyone around him says he is exaggerating... without knowing how this person really feels."

“I know the feeling… I also know someone with the same case. But, some things are never forgotten, you only learn to live with them, to channel them into other things, to associate them with other things."

“Although sometimes it’s not so easy, as you say, if you grieve for too long, you are exaggerating, if you move on too soon, it isn't so serious. I hate that."

"Tell me! People think that since I’m a psychologist I have no right to feel, to have moments of darkness… of course I do, I'm human! And even with that, there are times when I can't help but feel like I've become this cliché of thriller movies where the therapist is as much or more fucked up than their patients."

“You are not fucked up, or well… maybe you are, but who isn’t? I really believe that all those things that mark us are what make us what we are.”

Raquel gave him a warm smile, “I love that, it's so true. And that is why I have decided this time to move on. Also, I am lucky to still have my mother, who I love endlessly. To have Alicia, who is like my sister, to have friends like you..."

"It is my pleasure and it is my honor to be your friend." Sergio answered. Raquel grinned and laid her head on his shoulder.

Sergio rejoiced in the moment, feeling Raquel's hair flying with the wind and tickling his face, the weight of her head on his shoulder, the heat of her body next to him and again... that tingling sensation that he had felt the day he watched her sleep when he lay down next to her.

_Be careful._

Immediately, Sergio got to his feet and left Raquel, she watched him leave with a feeling of bewilderment, aching the lack of him next to her.

"All good?" Raquel returned to the cockpit and couldn't help notice the heavy vibe in the environment.

Sergio pushed up his glasses, “yeah, yeah, all good!” Raquel looked at him with a frown, “I'll take you to the other side of the lake, to see what was Federico Fellini’s villa, it’s beautiful!”

It was impossible to ignore the change in Sergio's attitude, but Raquel decided not to give it more importance. She wasn’t a frivolous woman whatsoever, but she was cruising in a luxurious boat, on a lake in Lombardy… she’d make the most of her time in that place.

That night, back at the villa and already in bed, Sergio couldn't stop tossing and turning. Mortified, wondering if Raquel had noticed his change in attitude, and if she did, if it had hurt her.

The last thing he wanted in life was to hurt Raquel, but he also had to protect himself and set up boundaries. With each passing day the physical contact between them was more… _intimate_ , more carefree and more natural.

It was as if there was a silent mutual consent in which neither had problems with linking each other’s arms, in which there was no shame in holding hands, sitting close together, in prolonging the glances longer than necessary, talking about deep and private things, and that was thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

Sergio was very clear about his position regarding romantic relationships, and he would hate if due to this easiness between him and Raquel, she’d take false signals.

_Take good care of your words and your actions_

Andrés's words were still fresh and loud in his memory.

_Raquel is vulnerable and maybe she will cling to whatever or whoever shows her affection._

_I suggest you to take good care of what you do and what you say._

He didn't want to hurt her, for his life he didn’t. But he didn't want her to think that he was looking for something beyond simple friendship either. But then again, the complicity, the natural banter, the physical contact with her was so… _easy_. There was no shame, there was no hesitation… he didn't want to lose that, and he feared that if he established his boundaries there would be no more of that.

He thought about talking to her, making it clear to her what his intentions were. But what if he was the one taking the wrong signals? What if she was like this with all her friends? He had seen her with Alicia, they were like sisters. But certainly what he felt was far from being siblings' love.

_It’s not like one day one wakes up and says ‘today I'm going to fall in love’, that just happens, without us noticing._

"Shut up, Andrés!" Sergio growled.

No, that was definitely _not_ love. Of that he was 100% _sure_. He had felt love before, and this felt completely different, this was different than what he had felt for Ágata.

Damn, Ágata.

Sergio realized that weeks had passed by without thinking about her, when before she was a constant in his thoughts. Not since… not since he had gotten closer to Raquel, not since that day they had pretended to be future husband and wife.

Sergio stood still for a moment, something told him to check on his cellphone, and taking his device from the nightstand, there he realized the time and date, 3:30 in the morning and therefore the day it was supposed to be their wedding anniversary, their 4th wedding anniversary, which meant that 5 years ago she had left him at the altar.

But what confused Sergio the most was not the date itself, or what it represented. What confused him the most was that, in previous years, he lived fearing that date, always looking for an escape, however this time he hadn’t even noticed it. He was so engrossed in his little world, so focused on the here and now… with Raquel.

It terrified him that for the first time in years he didn't feel that heartbreaking sensation inside him. Of course he was saddened, but beyond that, nothing.

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to visualize Ágata's face, wondering what had become of her, if she was still living in Madrid, trying to remember her features, he didn't remember her face, her voice, or her eyes well, no matter how tight he closed his eyes, he couldn't remember her features _exactly_ as they were. And what were once the images of the woman he had loved were now only blurred shadows in his memory.

Still he kept trying, but all he could see was Raquel, her brown hair that in the sunlight turned auburn, her huge smile that reached her eyes and lighten up her entire face, he could feel her soft touch on his forearm, he could smell her soft perfume; a delicate blend of florals, _her_ and the most beautiful things.

Suddenly Sergio began to feel extremely heated and suffocated, it was as if the walls were closing in around him. He placed his hand on his chest, his heart beating with overwhelming speed. Until he couldn't take it anymore, he got out of bed and out of the room, but at the exact same moment, the front door swung open as well, showing an agitated and blushed Raquel in the doorway…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!!! 😱


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the next chapter. I really, really hope you like it and just... DO NOT HATE ME!! 😭🙏🏼
> 
> On a side note, if you want a better understanding of where Sergio is, emotionally, listen to the song "Another Love" by Tom Odell, that song **IS** Sergio in this fic.
> 
> On another note, the next chapter is finished, I just have to send it to Em for spelling correction.And by the way, thanks Em for helping me to always find the way forward in this fic when my head is a mess of ideas 🥰🥰🥰
> 
> Next chapter coming soon, now I better run 🙈🏃🏻♀️💨

* * *

_**And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love,** _

**_but all my tears have been used up on anothe_ ** **_r l_ _ove..._ **

* * *

"Sergio!" Raquel sighed short of breath.

"Raquel!" Sergio said her name, her agitated expression mirroring his.

"I-I-I was going to the kitchen for a glass of water!”

"I hope this time you do know which door it is.” He mocked.

Raquel let out a loud nervous laugh. “No, no, I don't want to see you naked again! I mean, yes! I MEAN, NO! I mean… I'd hate to interrupt you again." Her face was on fire... and something more than that, too.

"You good?" Sergio frowned.

"YES! Yes, yes… it's just that it's a hot night… I need a glass of water and fresh air."

Sergio was confused, she really looked agitated. If he didn't know that they, or, rather, she was alone, he would think she was with someone else… unless she… then he felt flushed himself, and immediately put the thought in the back of his head.

"Let's go to the kitchen then, I was going to get a glass of water, too.” Sergio made a sign to Raquel with his hand and she led the way.

Once in the kitchen, Sergio just took the glass of water and returned to his room immediately, leaving Raquel there and saying that she was perplexed was an understatement.

"What the..." Raquel frowned when she saw that after filling his glass of water, Sergio just said a quiet " _good night_ ", turned around and disappeared. 

She hoped they could have another nice talk, like the one they had that first night in the ex-monastery, but seeing that that wasn’t going to happen, she went back to her room, too.

Lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, Raquel reflected on the past few days. It had been a whirlwind of events and emotions. So much suffering and so much pain, but at the same time, so much support and yes, also happiness. To begin with, she was happy to be _alive_ , so many other women who cannot get out of domestic violence alive, so for that part she was more than happy, she was _grateful_.

Life had already taken _so much_ from her... her boy, her sweet boy. She tried to imagine what he would be like now. Soon he would be turning 5 years of having stopped suffering, the same time that she had lived with a part of her heart dead forever. Raquel shook her head and sent an ' _I love you_ ' in her mind to her baby boy and tried to go back to sleep.

The next morning, when Raquel woke up it had been a long time since she had done it with so much energy. She felt renewed, revitalized and content, she had truly woken up with a smile on her lips.

Getting out of bed she went to the terrace, leaning on the balcony, it was a beautiful morning. Birds singing, dogs barking, the soft morning sun gentle on her skin, the breeze bringing the sweet scent of orange blossoms, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

When she opened her eyes, she realized that Sergio was in one of the gardens doing some kind of martial art’s movements. He was barefoot, wearing only white linen pants and no T-shirt. His skin gleamed with sweat and every muscle in his chest and arms rippled each time he performed one of his skillful movements. Raquel shuddered.

She turned around and closed her eyes again. She was beginning to worry about how lately she thought of Sergio beyond a friend. But he was so attentive, so chivalrous, so kind, funny, intelligent, hard-working, interesting, and _so_ handsome. He was everything a woman could ask for and maybe more, or at least he was everything she liked in a man, everything that Alberto never was.

But she was afraid of jumping back into a relationship so soon. It was ridiculous. Also, how would she know if Sergio felt the same? But his actions made her think _and feel_ so many things. Although thinking it better, maybe it was she who was taking them the wrong way, maybe he was just being nice, and she was interpreting him the wrong way.

Huffing, she headed to the bathroom to take a shower, then she went downstairs for breakfast. Once in the dining room, she realized that Sergio wasn’t there yet, and that the housekeeper was picking up his cutlery, leaving only hers.

"Good morning, Matilde." Raquel greeted the housekeeper kindly.

" _Buongiorno, signorina Murillo_!" Matilde smiled at her, "Are you staying for breakfast?"

Raquel frowned, "I am, Sergio isn’t?"

“I'm afraid not, he came to take a quick shower and went out, he told me that he was needed at the winery, that he might come back very late. But whatever you need, I am here to serve you." The sweet old lady said with her thick Italian accent.

Raquel felt a pang of disappointment, she hoped that they would go to the vineyards and wine cellars that day, “Oh! Okay… umm, could you bring me breakfast on the porch? I'd like to have breakfast there."

“ _Sì, certo_!”

Matilde brought Raquel’s breakfast to the porch where she sat alone to eat. She felt sad, all the joy with which she had woken up that morning had vanished, she felt somewhat offended that Sergio hadn't invited her, or, at least, let her know in person that he was going to be absent for the day.

“You okay?" Matilde asked her.

Raquel shook her head slightly, coming out of her reverie. “Oh yes, yes… it's just this place…. It gives you a lot to think about."

"It is a beautiful place, isn't it?"

"It certainly is."

"It is a pity that they have it so abandoned, just like the ex-monastery."

“Of course, you were there!” Raquel remembered her, “I was there a little over a month ago."

“Yeah, I do remember you. You left too soon!”

“Yeah, something came up and I had to go back to Madrid. But well, you’re right, this place is amazing.”

“I could live here forever, Milan drives me crazy!” She grumbled.

"Do you live in Milan?" Raquel asked.

"In Milan, in Rome, Florence, Madrid, New York… wherever my boy needs me."

"Your boy?"

"My boy, Andrés."

Andrés, a boy… Raquel stifled a laugh and took a drink of her orange juice. "Have you worked for the Fonollosa family for a long time?"

" _Tutta la mia vita_. Since long before Andrés was born."

"So... did you meet his mother?"

"Miss Elena? Of course! _Una donna dolce._ I always thought she was too sweet and innocent for Mr. de Fonollosa."

"So, you have known Sergio for a long time, too."

“Oh yeah, he's my boy, too. The poor thing has suffered so much, especially since what happened with that Ágata. _Una donna davvero cattiva_!” Matilde grunted.

Raquel felt a twitch in her stomach, "Á-Ágata… who is she?"

Matilde looked both ways, making sure they were alone, "wait a minute!” She entered the house and came back a few seconds later with a mug, poured herself coffee and sat in the chair next to Raquel.

She didn’t know what was happening, but since Sergio had left her alone and the old woman looked very interested in telling her who that Ágata was, she was more than up for a good gossip.

"Do you mind?" Matilde asked, taking a pack of cigarettes out of her apron pocket.

"Not at all!"

So she lit the cigarette and began, “Ágata was my boy's fiancee; beautiful woman, but what she did was awful. She always walked on his arm, smiling, and my boy was also very happy by her side. They both moved in together and were soon engaged, but she,” the old woman came closer to Raquel, “she dumped him _on_ their wedding day, five years ago _today_. She left him at the altar.”

Raquel was astonished, she could only imagine how much that had hurt Sergio, in addition to all the suffering that he had carried since his childhood.

"That's why I don't think Sergio went to the winery for work, surely he is walking around the field, remembering that day. He always wants to be alone on this day."

Raquel felt between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, she wanted to know more and ask more about that mysterious woman who had hurt Sergio so much, she even felt angry to think that someone could have hurt a being as good as him. 

But on the other hand, she felt bad to inquire into his personal affairs, if he hadn't told her anything about it, it was because he had his reasons and she had no business in them.

"And tell me, Matilde, where are you from?!” Raquel decided to change the subject.

Matilde gave her a knowing look, " _ragazza intelligente!_ ” She chucked and coughed.

“Excuse me?"

“I’m from Positano,” she played along with Raquel, “I left my house very young to look for work and life brought me here, to the north, with the Fonollosa’s, and I’ve been with them ever since.”

Raquel and Matilde talked for a couple of hours, until Matilde went back to the kitchen to make lunch. Seeing that Sergio wasn’t coming back and knowing that he probably wouldn't soon, she took one of her books, a glass of wine and went down to the pool to read.

She read and reread the same page over and over, but her brain couldn't grasp the words. She kept thinking about where Sergio was, if he was okay, if he needed something or someone, maybe someone to talk to. She could only imagine how hard it must have been to be left at the altar on the day that was supposed to be one of the happiest of one’s life.

She took a nap and when she woke up the sun was setting. On the side table, a half-drunk glass of wine and a bunch of lavender spikes tied with a string. She took them and smelled them. She looked around, but there was no one, she looked at Sergio's window and noticed that the light was on. She smiled, she didn't know if it was he who had left the lavender flowers on the table, but there was only one way to find out.

Raquel entered the house and ran up the stairs, just when she was about to reach Sergio's room, he came out. He appeared to be freshly showered, wearing only jeans, a basic white shirt, and white sneakers. She was surprised, it was the first time she had seen him dressed so casual, even the day they went cruising, he was wearing his shirt and trousers, although without a tie, as he usually did.

"Sergio, it's good that you're back! Everything’s okay at the winery?" Rachel queried.

“Yeah, perfect. Nothing serious, just a few barrels that needed to be replaced."

Raquel wasn’t stupid, she knew that replacing barrels wasn’t his job, but after what Matilde had told her, she pretended to buy the story.

"I'm glad, are you having dinner with me?"

"Of course!” Raquel gave him a half smile and walked past him to enter her room. "Did you like them?"

"What?"

"The flowers," Sergio pointed to the lavender in her hand.

“Oh!” He had made her forget about the flowers in her hands, “so it was you." Sergio shrugged, ”thanks, nice detail."

There was an awkward silence in which neither of them wanted to look into each other’s eyes.

"Well, see you downstairs for dinner." Sergio turned around and walked down the hall.

Raquel rolled her eyes, feeling more confused than ever. If he still wanted to walk away like this on this painful date, that meant it still hurt, and he still cared. So, after all, she was seeing things and all of Sergio's attention was nothing more than that... attention, with no further purpose.

Dinner passed by with ease, Sergio invited Matilde to join them for dinner and it was basically she who maintained all the conversation, asking Raquel hundreds of questions.

After dinner was over, Raquel invited Sergio to have a glass of wine on the porch before going to bed.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to." She said, seeing how Sergio looked uncomfortable.

"It's not that, it's just that I'm very tired."

“Ok, I understand. Have a nice rest." Raquel turned around but Sergio grabbed her by the hand.

“Raquel, I… forget it, good night."

"Sergio, is there something you want to talk to me about? I can hear you."

Sergio swallowed and looked at the ground, inhaling deeply, then looked at her. "Not today."

And Raquel understood what he meant. “Not today then. But whenever you want, you know that you can count on me for anything. Good night, Sergio.” She tried to give him a kiss on the cheek, but he flinched away, very gently, but Raquel noticed, so she let him go. 

Raquel took a bottle of white wine from the wine cooler, a glass, her box of cigarettes and went out to the porch. Again she felt terrible for Sergio, poor thing, everything he was surely carrying inside. But not only that, there was something else, she felt… rare. The realization that Sergio was clearly still hung up on his ex made her feel something strange inside her. _Disappointment_.

The next morning, when Raquel came down to breakfast, Sergio was already at the table. Even before reaching the bottom of the stairs, she could already hear his laughter and Matilde’s; at least he was laughing again.

"Good morning.” Raquel muttered, sitting in her place.

"Good morning!" Sergio replied, still laughing at whatever he was laughing at before she arrived.

“Someone woke up happy." She pointed, unaware of the slightly harsh tone she had used. Sergio's smile failed a little, and gave her a questioning look. “What?" She blurted.

“Nothing, nothing." Sergio said. "What do you want to do today?!” He asked cheerfully.

Raquel tried to put her annoyance aside and understand where Sergio was coming from. But that little thorn of disappointment still stung inside her.

"I don’t know." Raquel shrugged and took a piece of toast and smeared it with jam.

"Why don't you take her to see the vineyards and cellars?!” Matilde suggested.

"That's a good idea!" Sergio agreed, but Raquel said nothing, which created an air of tension.

”Well, I'll go get more coffee." Matilde retired to the kitchen, leaving them alone.

"Raquel," Sergio began, "I want to apologize for yesterday, for leaving you alone, I... I was having a hard day."

Raque felt _terribly_ guilty. _Joder_ , what is wrong with me! She thought. The man was left at the altar by the love of his life, who he was still in love with and she was acting like a spoiled girl.

“No, Sergio, I am the one who must apologize. I, better than anyone, should understand that sometimes we just want to be alone, I should have respected that. I’m so sorry.”

"No hard feelings.” Sergio assured her.

"So, are we okay?"

"We are okay. Thanks for being such a good _friend_ , Raquel."

"The same to you." She mumbled.

The day before, Sergio had had too much time alone to think. He thought of everything. His past, his present and his future. About Ágata, how much he loved her and how much her memory still affected him. About Raquel, how wonderful she was, how good, smart, beautiful and simply how much he enjoyed her company. He thought about him, how hurt he was, how he wasn't healed yet, and how he couldn’t give Raquel, or any other woman, what they deserved. And Raquel... Raquel deserved the world served on a golden tray, but he wasn’t in a position to give it to her, so, without hurting her feelings, he would make it clear that he only saw her as a _friend_.

That afternoon, once they were both ready, Sergio took Andres's '66 Alfa Romeo coupe to take Raquel out for a drive through the countryside.

"I feel like in a classic movie." Raquel said while enjoying how the air blew her hair as she held her hat on her head.

"It's Italy’s effect." Sergio replied, smiling behind the wheel without taking his eyes off the road.

"I feel… I feel like in my own Rossellini movie," she sighed, "my own version of _Viaggio in Itali_ a."

Sergio chuckled, " _Viaggio in Italia?_ Peculiar selection."

“That’s why I said _my own_ version.” Raquel smiled and turned her gaze to the beautiful Lombardie landscape.

After a couple of hours driving through the countryside, they returned to the villa, stopping at the vineyard fields and the wine cellars. Sergio was going to give Raquel a tour.

First they walked through the fields, among the fertile soil and the bunches of grapes. Sergio was more than happy to explain to Raquel what the process of planting and harvesting the grapes was like, how they divided them from those suitable for wine and those that were not, the care they needed, the time it took to ripen and the amount of tons required to produce the line of said harvest. Like a dazzled child, Raquel listened to each and every one of his words very attentively.

"So, are you telling me that this," Raquel held up two bunches of grapes, "is only half a bottle of wine?!”

"More or less, depending on the size, it takes about 4 or 5 bunches to make a traditional bottle of wine."

“I can't believe it, I never imagined it, and you know I love wine! But, this field is very small compared to others I have seen.”

“It is because we produce our artisan line here. It's just a few limited edition bottles, each one numbered and made the old fashioned way."

"You mean hand picking, grape treading...?"

“All that and more, there is no intervention of machines, everything is practically by hand. That is why it’s our most exclusive line, and the most expensive, too."

"Wow... that's amazing!" Raquel exclaimed. "It must taste delicious!”

"Well, let's go taste!"

They both went to the wine cellars, where they were greeted by the chill and dim light of the place. Dozens of barrels and bottles neatly arranged.

Sergio took two glasses and one of the bottles, skillfully uncorked it, and poured the red liquid.

"This is from our 2013 vintage, one of the best." Sergio said to Raquel, handing her the glass.

She took a quick sniff of the wine, then took a sip and moaned. "It's delicious!"

“The harvest that year was crazy. It was one of the most successful, we were all very happy."

"I would love to be in a harvest, especially if it's like this, in the classic way."

"Well, you are invited to our harvest the following year.”

”I'm already looking forward to it." She smiled.

“Come here," Sergio said, setting his glass on a barrel and taking hers from Raquel as well, then took her hand and led her to another point in the cellar where there were even more bottles perfectly aligned. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret, but you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone, especially Alicia."

Raquel frowned, “Alicia? Why?”

Sergio took a bottle from the shelf and handed it to Raquel. It was a dark green bottle with a black label on the cork and a simple black label on the front with bright gold cursive letters that read " _Sierra_."

"Our most recent production." Sergio said, "We had everything ready to put it on the market with the usual name, but Andrés stopped everything and had the name changed in honor of Alicia. It costed us thousands of euros, but Andres was pleased with the result.”

Raquel felt deeply touched. For some reason the idea that Andrés had named one of his most special lines of wine in Alicia’s honor made her feel very emotional. She couldn't wait to see her best friend's face, she was going to freak out when she saw it.

Raquel's vision blurred and she sighed shakily, laughing sheepishly, wiping her eyes. "Sorry, I'm a fool! It's just... I really feel like a fool, after everything I've been through but... I still believe in love. I still think there are good men out there. It would be ridiculous to think that just because Alberto was a jerk with me, all men will be, don't you think?"

Raquel noticed Sergio's discomfort, which made her become aware of her words. _Joder_!

"Sergio, I’m sorry!"

"Sorry? Why? You are right, not all people are the same. Surely one day you will find someone who values you for the great woman you are."

From her own experience, she knew how annoying compassion could be. Everyone wanted to be compassionate, but no one wanted to be the person they felt compassion for, so she decided not to feel pity for him, surely he wouldn't want it, besides, she was supposed to know _nothing_ about his past. Damn, she felt so guilty about keeping it a secret.

"Yeah, you are right." She sighed heavily, “Well, can you believe these two are getting married in two weeks? It seems incredible to me how time flies.”

"Andrés is over the moon, and I suppose Alicia is, too."

"Oh, you can't even imagine!” Raquel looked again at the bottle of wine in her hands. “What's the craziest thing you've done for love?” 

Sergio frowned at the out of the blue question, "how?"

"Yes, the greatest craziness you've ever done in the name of love... I don't know, get off a plane because you don't want to leave your loved one, or take one and cross the world to go for her. Fill a place with flowers to the last corner. Sing under her window... I don't know, some love driven madness."

Sergio thought about it, he _really_ did. He looked back at his entire relationship with Ágata and noticed a very peculiar thing... he had _never_ done anything crazy for her. Their whole relationship had been quite simple, a long but simple courtship, flowers more than once, but not to the point of filling her place with them. Some dedicated songs, but never a serenade. And they never went on a trip outside of Spain. It was all very… _simple_. 

“I don't know, I think being in love is crazy enough."

Raquel laughed out loud, "I can't believe it, you're lying... something tells me that you're a very romantic man."

Sergio chuckled embarrassed and pushed his glasses up his nose, "I don't think so, and in any case I'm not looking to prove it."

"What do you mean?"

"That at this moment I’m _not_ looking for someone."

Raquel nodded slowly while trying to keep the smile. "Well!" She exclaimed after a brief silence, “what do you say if we drink one of these? Would you like a chat by the pool?"

"With pleasure!"

They took a couple of bottles and carried them back to the villa. Matilde prepared them a board with ham, cheese and bread, taking it to the pool and giving Sergio a mischievous smile that he dismissed.

Very proper as he was, Sergio sat at the table, waiting for Raquel to do the same, but she took off her shoes, tucked up her dress and sat by the pool, dipping her feet in the water.

"Come!" She invited him to join her.

Sergio doubted it, but the smile that broke on his lips was stronger. He carried the wine and the board by the pool, took off his shoes, rolled up his trousers, and sat down next to Raquel.

"Tell me something... something about yourself." Raquel said, taking a piece of cheese and stuffing it all in her mouth.

"About me? Like what? I think you already know everything about me."

"Of course not! Well, maybe, but I wanna know more! I mean, I've seen you naked but I don't know other details about you." Sergio almost choked on a piece of bread, "let's see, I don’t know where are you from, where were you born?"

"In San Sebastian."

"What were your parents named?"

"Elena Gonzálvez and Jesús Marquina."

"What did they do for a living?"

"My mother was a secretary and my father a teacher, too.”

“See? I didn’t know that! Did he inspire you to become a teacher?”

Sergio nodded with a shy smile, “now is your turn!” Sergio said and Raquel laughed, "Where were you born and what was your father's name?"

"I was born in Bilbao, by chance, but hey, Basque, too!” She raised her glass to him, "my father's name was Francisco, he was an accountant."

They both continued talking for a couple of hours while downing the bottles of wine. It was like a ping pong game, one asked a question, the other answered and asked a new question and so on. 

This way they got to know more details of their personalities, some of their ideologies and tastes in general. Like Sergio, he loved sirtakis and Anthony Quinn movies, and Raquel loved Van Morrison. They weren’t very religious. He hated seafood and beach sand, while she loved running, clothed or unclothed, and dive in the sea. Sergio couldn't sleep with someone else in the same bed and Raquel was a cuddler.

"Aaah!" Raquel sighed deeply and lay on the ground with her feet still in the pool, swinging them back and forth. Looking at the sky, it had been a long time since she had seen such a starry sky; Madrid was always clouded by pollution that didn’t allow her to appreciate these small gifts of nature.

The stars were shining so brightly and she felt they were so close that if she reached out her hand she could take a handful of them.

"It's a beautiful night, don't you think?"

“Very,” Sergio replied, looking down at her, he was already feeling a bit dizzy, and from the occasional way Raquel slurred her words, he could deduce that she was, at the very least, tipsy.

"Come here," Raquel patted the floor and Sergio lay down next to her, "close your eyes and breathe in." They both did, “the orange blossoms.” She beamed.

They both opened their eyes and turned to look at each other at the same time. Darting eyes, quivering lips, pounding hearts, earth shattering tension.

"You know?" Raquel broke into silence, bringing her index finger to Sergio's face and running it all over his temple, his cheek and his jaw, "until recently, I hadn't noticed how handsome you are."

Sergio swallowed and kept still, "you-you are also very beautiful, Raquel."

Raquel giggled, but then her giggle became a silence, ”what’s in here?” she placed her hand over his head, “what’s going on in your head?” She slurred.

Sergio was lost for words, he wanted her to stop before doing something crazy, but deep down, he wanted her to continue and he couldn't stop her.

Raquel's face grew closer and closer to his, each of her features just inches from his eyes, her eyes so bright in the moonlight that he could see her dilated pupils. His head was telling him to stop her, but the rest of his body was screaming to take her. He could feel her breath on his face, he could almost taste the wine on her lips.

He was tasting the wine on her lips.

When he managed to react, his lips and Raquel's were joined in a subtle and gentle kiss. Their tongues exploring each other’s mouths, their lips moving in perfect sync. He couldn't tell if her hand on his cheek was the one shaking, or it was him, or it was the both of them.

As the seconds passed, her kiss became more and more hungry, more needy… _deeper_. Raquel shifted on the ground, climbing onto his chest. There was a moment when she parted her lips from his, but he took her head, bringing her back again, not wanting to waste a single part of her. 

That voice in his mind again, telling him to stop, that she, no, that _they_ were both drunk, but he was past the control of his actions.

_Take good care of your words and your actions_

Sergio heard Andrés's voice yet again, so deafening that he could swear he was there. He jolted back and pushed Raquel away, "I can't, Raquel," he sighed short of breath and got up, “I-I-I’m sorry, but I can't do this,” and he rushed out of there.

Raquel was still high on adrenaline that she couldn't record what had just happened until she found herself alone. She felt a mixture of excitation and shame. She shouldn't have. She should have _never_ kissed him. Then, she felt fear, she feared how this could change her relationship with Sergio, she was terrified of the idea that that kiss, which raised her to heaven and pulled her back to earth in seconds, could be the cause of the end of their friendship, because clearly there couldn't be anything else.

It wasn’t going to be like in the movies, that kiss wasn’t going to be the beginning of anything, but the end. He had been _very_ clear, he wasn’t looking for anything or anyone. She and her blinding desire had ruined everything. 

But it had been so hard to hold back, besides, she was almost certain that he had kissed her back, too. Or had she imagined it? No, there was a moment when she hesitated, but just then he took her by the head and brought her back to him, taking her lips again with a gentle bite.

Raquel wanted to cry, scream, laugh and run at the same time. Even her drunkenness was gone. Resigned, and with her lips and the skin around her mouth still tender by the brush of Sergio's beard, she retired to her room, she didn't even bother to put on her pajamas, she just flopped in bed and tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, the only thing she could see was Sergio's face. She could see every line of his face, his eyebrows, his eyelashes, his fluttering eyelids.

"You're such an _IDIOT_ , Raquel!" She groaned, but her groan quickly turned into a sob and so she cried herself to sleep.

Back in his room, Sergio was on the verge of a breakdown. He switched between euphoria and fury. That kiss had caused a universe of feelings within him, it was as if the sky had opened above his head, making him feel things that he had never felt before.

But at the same time he was furious, not with Raquel, but with himself, he should have known better, he should have stopped in time, he should have respected his own rule but above all, he should have respected her. She was drunk, most likely not in control of her actions. He shouldn't have gone so far.

The next morning when Raquel woke up, just by opening her eyes and trying to move, absolutely her entire body was in pain. From her head to her feet.

She propped up on her elbows, grimacing at the pain in her shoulders. The bed was made, she had her clothes on. She took her cell phone from the nightstand to check the time, but the device had run out of battery. She sighed and with what little will she had, she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, hoping to feel a little better with a warm shower.

Raquel looked at herself in the mirror, her clothes and her hair disheveled, her mascara running down her cheeks, her lipstick smeared around her lips and her eyes bloodshot from falling asleep crying.

In no mood to keep seeing her precarious image in the mirror, Raquel turned around and undressed to go into the shower. The warm water relaxed her body even though her head was still throbbing with blinding pain.

Halfway through her shower, Raquel heard a gentle knock on the bedroom door, but she didn't bother, it was probably Matilde or the other maid who came to change the sheets. However the knocks became more and more insistent.

" _Raquel!_ "

It was Sergio, he was knocking on the door and shouting for her. Her heart skipped a beat. She closed the faucet, but remained in the shower, quietly, hugging herself.

“ _RAQUEL!_ "

Sergio screamed again, this time louder and banging at the door. This somehow made her react, she got out of the shower, put on her bathrobe and went out to open. As soon as she did, Sergio stomped in.

"Alicia was trying to call you, why don't you answer the damn phone?!"

Raquel was taken aback, what the hell was that? Where was this coming from? Was he _that_ upset about the drunk kiss last night?"

"What are you talking about?! And, and… my phone has no battery."

"Pack your stuff, we are going back to Madrid. Go, go, go!” Sergio snapped his fingers which caused Raquel's bewilderment to turn into fury.

“First of all, don't talk to me like that! And— ”

"Andrés is in the hospital!" Sergio yelled agitated. “Andrés is in the hospital,” he repeated, this time quieter and even with a quivering voice, “he went for a jog this morning and passed out in the park. Alicia was trying to call you, but you never answered the phone. She was in shock, she couldn’t tell me much, just that he is in the hospital, intensive care… we still don't know how serious it is."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME 🙏🏼 I SWEAR THIS GETS BETTER REALLY, REALLY SOON!!! 😭
> 
> Still, let me know what you think!!🥺


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This special update is for Em and for those of you who enjoy this fic ❤️

> * * *
> 
> _**Sweet love of mine, there is nothing to fear  
>  I'll hold you close, let my sleeves catch your tears...** _
> 
> * * *

The trip back to Madrid was an ordeal. Sergio was in his own world, rubbing his hands and cracking his knuckles constantly, biting his lips and wiping the sweat from his forehead even if the temperature inside the jet was quite chill.

She felt uncomfortable, she didn't know how to approach him, it was like walking through a minefield. Besides, inside her there was still a bit of a grudge from the way he had spoken to her, she knew where he was coming from, he was freaking out, but still, that had hurt. So she just grabbed her headphones, put on her music, and looked out the window the whole way back to Madrid.

"I'll take a taxi," Sergio said once they landed, though without looking at her, "let the driver take you home."

"Are you crazy?! Alicia surely needs me, I won't leave her alone. And if you don't want me to go with you, I'll go on my own." Raquel fired back.

Sergio ducked his head, and said nothing. Both were picked up by the driver who took them directly to the hospital where Andres was. Again, it was a long, silent and uncomfortable ride.

Once at the hospital, Sergio immediately ran to the reception to ask for information about his brother and there was Alicia; her face and her eyes red from crying, and as soon as she saw Raquel, she ran to hug her, seeking refuge and comfort in the arms of her best friend.

"Alicia, what happened?!” Sergio asked as the friends shared the tight hug, completely ignoring him. “Alicia!" He insisted, very upset.

Alicia pulled back from Raquel, and wiped her tears with the top of her hand while Raquel rubbed her back lovingly. "I don't know, I don't know, they still haven't told me anything, he's been there for hours and no one comes out to tell me anything other than he's still unconscious!” She sobbed.

"But that's good, isn't it?" Raquel pointed out, "if something bad had happened they would have already come to tell you."

Alicia seemed a bit calmer for a moment, Raquel was right. But the poor thing was so distraught that she hadn't considered that.

"Raquel is right." Sergio agreed.

At that moment, the doctor who was treating Andrés came down a corridor and the three looked at him with expectation and fear.

"Doctor, what happened?!” Alicia and Sergio asked him immediately.

The doctor took a deep breath and began, “he's conscious, a little groggy, but conscious. He woke up making jokes,” he chuckled, “however, we are still running some tests.”

"When can we see him?" Sergio asked.

"In a moment, but for today only one relative will be allowed in, and depending on how he spends the night, tomorrow more people will be able to see him.”

“I'm his fiancée." Alicia said, fearing he wasn't going to let her see him.

"I-I'm just a friend," Raquel said, "they're the ones that matter, I'll wait out here."

"I'll go in first!” Sergio stated without leaving room for discussion.

"What—" Alicia began.

"Let him go, Alicia,” Raquel intervened, "let him go in first, you will see him, too.”

"But I—"

“I know, _cariño_ , I know. But I'm here, and I'll help you deal with the wait, okay? You are not alone, we will do it, together, that's what friends are for."

Raquel hugged Alicia again, both of them unaware of the way Sergio was looking at them. He wanted _that_ , but he had ruined everything. He wanted to take refuge in Raquel’s arms and fill his heart with strength.

"Sorry," the doctor interrupted, "but Mr. de Fonollosa asked to see Miss Alicia Sierra first."

“That’s me!" Alicia said, a little more hopeful.

“Ok, in a moment a nurse will come for you. For the moment that’s all."

The doctor turned around and left, but Sergio followed him.

”Doctor, wait!”

"Tell me."

Sergio took a deep breath, trying to stabilize his voice. “It has started, hasn't it? The _end_ … this is just the beginning of the end."

The doctor looked at him solemnly, it was never easy to talk to people about the death of their loved ones. "You know that your brother's illness unfortunately has no cure."

"I know, I know."

"We managed to get it under control longer than expected, however... you should be prepared."

Sergio nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat, joining the women again, they were sitting on a single sofa, Alicia was snuggled into Raquel's chest while she caressed her red short hair. Sergio took a seat away from them, feeling more alone than ever. Loneliness filling each and every corner within him. It had started, he was about to be alone _forever_. And he just wanted to cry and for someone to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that he was _not_ alone.

“I - will you excuse me for a moment?" Sergio got up from his seat and left, walking fast, loosening the knot of his tie while looking for a secluded place where he could vent all his emotions without being seen. Finding the brooms’ room, he got in, closing the door behind him.

And there, he leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, releasing the sob that a few seconds ago had prevented him from breathing. A sob full of pain, sadness and loneliness. He hugged his knees and closed his eyes tightly. The pain was unbearable.

Meanwhile in the waiting room, as the doctor said, a nurse came to take Alicia to see Andrés, leaving Raquel there alone. She thought about going home, after all she was sure that Alicia wasn’t going to want to leave Andres's bedside; that way she could take a shower, get some rest and be back there at first hour tomorrow morning, in case Alicia needed anything.

But then she thought of Sergio, she could only imagine how he was feeling right now. So she decided to walk the corridors of the hospital looking for him. She looked inside some rooms, but nothing, not a trace of him, but she kept looking until suddenly, passing outside a door she heard a sob. Raquel didn't need more to know that it was Sergio. She felt her heart break into a thousand pieces.

Cautiously, Raquel opened the door, and there, on the floor, as if it were a helpless child, hugged to his knees and with his face soaked in tears, Sergio was crying his heart out.

Rushing to him, Raquel knelt in front of Sergio, taking him in her arms. He welcomed the embrace with the need of a wounded soul seeking comfort. Clinging to her as if his life depended on it, fearing that if he released his grip around her, she would vanish into thin air.

For her part, Raquel received him in her arms, opening them to him to provide the support that he so much needed at that time, support that only someone who had gone through the tragedy of having lost someone could empathize with. She rubbed his back, his head, shushing him and mumbling soft words in his ear.

“Cry, cry. I'm here,” then she cupped his face and wiped his tears with her thumbs, “I'm not going anywhere.” She stated and kissed his forehead.

Bringing her to him, they both rested their foreheads on each other’s, breathing the same air, comforting and being comforted. The soft touch of her thumbs against the skin of his cheeks made the pain he felt at that moment not hurt so much, and there, sitting on the cold floor of a hospital broom room, for the first time perhaps in years, Sergio Marquina didn’t feel alone.

Slowly, their faces came closer until their lips came together again. But this time, it was a kiss that was _far_ from lust or desire. It was a chaste kiss, perhaps the most chaste kiss they had ever given and received in their lives. Soft, slow, tender but brimming with feelings.

"Come here." Raquel said, breaking the kiss and offering him her hand.

Without saying a word, Sergio took her hand and followed her, he would follow her without question, wherever she went, to hell if she took him there.

Raquel took him out of that dark and cold room and out of the hospital. Both walked hand in hand and in silence for a couple of blocks until they reached a nearby park, there, Raquel looked for a bench under the shade of a tree and away from the bustle of the playground.

"Do you feel better?" She spoke softly, stroking his nape.

Sergio's gaze was lost looking straight ahead. He sighed heavily. “This is getting real. I always knew that this moment would come, but I thought it was still so far away. It has been years since Andrés had one of his crises, stupidly I even thought that he was cured, but now I see that he isn’t."

"I don’t know what to tell you." Raquel said, and it was the most honest thing she could have said at the time. Anything else, any encouraging word could have sounded empty, because, what is one supposed to say in a situation like this?

"You don't have to say anything." Sergio replied, looking at her.

Raquel nodded slightly and opened her arms again to welcome the broken soul in front of her, he didn’t hesitate to again accept the comfort and calm that he had found in no one else, only in her.

After spending a while in the park, they both returned to the hospital.

"Where were you?!" Alicia exclaimed when they arrived, she was alone in the waiting room.

"I-I..." Sergio stuttered.

"We went out for a walk, suddenly I felt a little suffocated in here," Raquel said, realizing that Sergio didn’t want to disclose his state of mind with Alicia, "but how’s Andrés?"

"Much better, thank heaven." She sighed, “he is already fully awake. The doctor wants to have him under observation for at least 24 hours, depending on how he evolves, they will let him go tomorrow or the day after tomorrow."

"I'm so glad to hear that, Alicia." Raquel smiled and hugged her friend.

"I'm very sorry that you couldn't go in to see him," Alicia apologized to Sergio, "but I promise you will be the first to go in tomorrow morning, Andrés wanted to see us both, but you already know ICU policies."

“No offense taken, Alicia. I understand that my brother would’ve wanted to see you first."

"And will you stay or will you go home?" Raquel asked her.

"I'll go home, there are no more visits for today, so there’s no point in staying, besides, Andrés wants some personal hygiene things and clothes in case he is discharged tomorrow."

"And you, Sergio?" Alicia asked him.

“I agree with you, there’s no point in me staying, I suppose I'll be here first thing in the morning."

"Yeah, it's the best." Alicia said. "And guys, I am so sorry this ruined your week in Italy." She apologized.

"No, no, no, Alicia, don't even say it!" Raquel replied, "this was an emergency!”

Alicia smiled sympathetically at her friend, "do you want a ride home?" She offered them.

Raquel and Sergio shared a look and shrugged. It was more than clear in their expressions that neither of them wanted that ride, but neither did they know how to ditch Alicia.

"Alicia, thank you, but you better go straight home, rest, it's been a long day for you." Raquel suggested her.

"Yeah, you should go rest, we can find our way back in a taxi, can't we, Raquel?"

"Yeah, totally!"

“Thanks guys, and again, sorry. You should go to a fancy restaurant, have something delicious for dinner, and make up for the days missed in Italy."

"Yes, we will figure something out,” Sergio replied, "now go, rest.”

Once alone, Raquel couldn't help but question him, "why did you turn down the ride?"

"Why did you, too?”

Raquel chuckled, “fair! Well, I did want her to go to rest, but also, I don't know, I felt that you didn't want to, or am I wrong?"

“No, you are not wrong. I just… I don't know… I wanted to go home on my own.” Sergio stared at Raquel, images of that kiss flashing in his head, not the kiss from the broom room, but the _other_ kiss. 

That kiss so full of pent up tension, so passionate but at the same time so sweet. He _wanted_ more, he _craved_ more, just thinking about kissing her lips again made him shiver. He wondered what it would be like to hold her in his arms, feel her bare skin under his fingertips, sink his nose into her brown locks, breathe her in and preserve her scent into his memory. But he scolded himself when he remembered the aftermath of _that_ kiss, how he had pushed her away; but it was inevitable not to want her, now more than ever he needed more of that refuge that Raquel had to offer him.

"Sergio? Sergio!" Raquel brought him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, my mind went off for a moment."

"No problem, I understand."

_No, you don't understand._ Sergio thought. _You don't understand that what I want most at this moment is to take you in my arms, kiss you again and stare at you until the break of dawn._

”I’ll take you home." Sergio suggested.

"If you want."

"I wouldn't let you go alone."

So they went out to take a taxi to Raquel's place. It was a silent ride, but each one was too in their own mind to notice. Little did they know that they were both thinking the exact same thing.

"Thanks for bringing me." Raquel thanked him once outside her apartment.

“It was nothing. By the way, the driver will come to bring your suitcase tomorrow."

"Oh, my suitcase! I had completely forgotten about it."

_Silence_

"Well... good night, Sergio."

"Good night, Raquel."

They both shared a hug, until the kiss that was intended to land on their cheeks did so on their lips. They looked at each other for a few seconds, seeking consent in each other's gaze, consent that wasn’t only written in their eyes, but all over their bodies.

There was no going back from that moment.

Sergio wasted no time and claimed Raquel's lips in a hungry kiss. Pulling back just to open the door, Raquel threw herself into Sergio's arms, who received her with the same passion.

They both smiled at the same time that they let their hands explore the lines of their bodies. While Raquel struggled with the knot of his tie, Sergio ran his hands from her hips, up to her waist, to her back, cradling her shoulder blades and bringing her closer to him, moving his lips from her lips to her jawline, and from her jawline to her neck. Raquel pulled her head back to give him better access, and once in the line of her collarbone and shoulders, what were passionate kisses, became almost imperceptible, careful kisses.

Sergio sat on the armrest of the sofa, to be at an equivalent height with Raquel, standing her between his legs. Swiftly, he stripped her of her top, leaving her just in her bra, grabbing her hips firmly and bringing his lips back to her chest, down the path in between her breasts. Raquel moaned and clenched her hands around his arms, feeling the heat inside her turn into an overpowering fire with each kiss he placed on her bristled skin.

Raquel took off his graces, placed them on the coffee table and then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Stumblingly, she guided them both to her bedroom, on the way there, she stripped him of his shirt and he of her bra.

Once in the room and when Raquel felt the edge of the bed behind her legs she stopped and pulled back, looking at Sergio dead in the eye.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked short of breath.

"Only if _you_ are." Sergio responded with a voice so deep that it jolted her insides.

Without further hesitation, Raquel unbuckled Sergio's belt, but Sergio stopped her, taking her hands and bringing them to his mouth to kiss them almost reverently.

With utter care, Sergio laid Raquel on the fresh, clean, white duvet. She gave him access between her legs as she ran her trembling hands down the side of his bare torso.

Sergio came close to her ear, biting her earlobe with his lips, "tell me if I do something you don't like." He whispered in her ear, she could only moan in response.

Again his lips made their way down the smooth skin of her neck to her now exposed breasts. With just his lips he took one of her erected nipples, sucking it slightly, making her gasp louder and arc her back. With that being just a tease, he continued his way down, twirling his tongue in her belly button and kissing the entire horizontal line of her abdomen, just above the waistband of her jeans.

But Raquel wanted more, she _needed_ more. Kicking his side with her knee, she let him know that his kisses weren't enough anymore, to move on to something else. And he was more than willing to oblige. 

Unbuttoning her jeans, he pulled them down while Raquel lifted her butt to help him with the task, once she was just in her panties, it was time for himself to get rid of his excess clothes, standing completely naked and exposed before her, a sight that, this time, she _did_ appreciate to the very last detail.

Taking the hems of her panties with his index fingers, he got rid of them, too. Taking one of her legs, he kissed the skin from her knee up her inner thigh and deliberately stopped near her crotch, making her choke a groan.

"Please!" She begged short of breath, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Patience, Mrs. Murillo.” He purred against the warm skin of her lower abdomen, rubbing his cheek and tickling her with his beard, making her squirm and giggle. 

Sliding up in bed to take her lips again, Raquel let out a gasp of surprise when she unexpectedly felt Sergio's fingers right where she needed him most. Twirling them around her very sensitive clit. His big body hovering over her slender one, looking at her, drinking in her facial expression of pure pleasure.

It wasn't until with his free hand, Sergio took both of her hands and placed her arms over her head, making her snap her eyes open and push him away.

"No!" She gasped, "not that, please!”

Raquel scooted up in bed, agitated. She had been terribly triggered by that precise action.

"Ok, ok." Sergio raised his hands in surrender, "we can stop, if you want."

"No, no... just... not that, please."

“Fine."

Raquel was afraid she had ruined the moment, she felt like an idiot, but it was a reaction that neither her body nor her brain could control.

"Raquel, I'm not going to make you feel uncomfortable, I promise, do you trust me?"

Raquel beamed shyly and grabbed his face, bringing him back to her to resume what they had started and that she intended to finish.

Again Raquel spread her legs for him, cradling his body in the valley between her hips, feeling his cock on her legs, so close yet so far from where she wanted him the most.

The fire that burned within them was overwhelming, clouding their mind and reason, the painful lust and desire throbbing in their cores, demanding more and more of each other.

Bringing his fingers back to her crotch, Sergio kept playing with her wet and craving folds, thrusting and twirling his fingers inside her and her clit. Her body squirming to the rhythm of his fingers. She could feel the pain and pleasure of her lust ready to be released. Until he stopped, and she moaned in frustration, it wasn't until she felt him slide inside her that she moaned again, but this time out of utter satisfaction. 

They both stood still for a few seconds, rejoicing in the sensation of the other, getting used to the sensation, so familiar yet so new.

Slowly, Sergio ground and thrusted his hips against Raquel. She tightened her thighs around his hips and dug her heels into his ass, roaming her hands all over his back as he devoured her lips in a kiss.

They both kept the rhythm, perfect, on tempo and sync. They were both so close, they could feel their release scratching on the surface. Overwhelming. Deafening. Maddening.

Raquel's mind was wrapped in a thick cloud of lust, pleasure, and indescribable feelings. Sergio was being careful, but passionate. Rough, but mindful. She had never had something like that. And she was about to release it _all._

One. Two. Three more thrusts and he came undone followed closely behind by Raquel. Both groaning their release into each other's ears. She clung to his back, digging her fingernails into his skin creating half moons. He plunged his face into her hair, inhaling her scent, as sweet as intoxicating and addictive.

Sergio lay down on the bed next to her, pulling her towards him with his arm as Raquel draped her arm over his torso and snuggled into his side, nuzzling his chest, releasing a sigh of pure fulfillment and pleasure. They stood still, in silence, enjoying each other's warmth, and it was a matter of time until they drifted off to sleep, their naked bodies, their tangled legs and their hearts beating peacefully…

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Em, for everything 💜
> 
> And thanks to all of you who still like this story 💕

* * *

> _**No one knows what comes after this, but I, I've always hoped that it was you…** _

* * *

The next morning, Raquel woke up to the gentle sun filtering through the curtains, shining on her face. As she gained consciousness, the events of the previous night flooded her mind, and she grinned still with her eyes closed.

As each and every one of her senses awakened, she became aware of the warm body behind her, the beard tickling her nape, the hairy legs tangled between her legs and the arm around her waist. Her grin grew bigger.

Sergio was there, it hadn't been a dream. She could still feel her lips sensitive from last night's hungry kisses, she could still feel his hands all over her body, clinging to her hips, her waist, her breast and her back, making her feel not only beautiful, but desired, boosting her femininity, something she hadn't felt for a long time when having sex.

Raquel rejoiced in the feeling of Sergio's warm and naked body behind her, holding her own naked body firmly close to his chest. But then she thought, what was this?

What _the hell_ had that been?

Had it been real? Technically it was, but what would the implications be? Were there going to be such implications? Was it the start of something else, or just a one night stand? Whatever it was and whatever it was going to become, it had happened and nothing and no one was going to take away the satisfaction. She would deal with the aftermath once she spoke to Sergio.

Carefully, and making sure not to wake him up, Raquel untangled herself from between his legs and arms to get out of bed. Although in reality, it was likely he wouldn’t wake up any time soon, he was sound asleep and even snoring softly.

Raquel roamed the room in search of her robe. Many things were out of place and the lack of Alberto's items was more than evident, she was sure it had been Alicia, that she had gone through everything to erase all traces of him in the apartment, even the bedding was new and she could almost swear that the mattress was new, too.

But, fuck, Alberto! Where was he now? Had the police been able to locate him? What was the status of her complaint? No one had bothered to call her to update her, which surely meant that he had not yet been located and that her restraining order was still being processed.

Then she looked at Sergio, and thought of her own words she had said that afternoon on their boat trip, about moving on, leaving the past behind, and she certainly was, but still she couldn't help but feel terrible for a split of a second, she couldn't help but feel that she was more concerned about getting laid than fixing her situation.

"Moving forward, moving forward, moving forward." Raquel muttered to herself, took her robe and left the room, letting Sergio sleep until he wanted.

Once in the kitchen, she took everything to make breakfast, loaded the coffee maker with freshly ground coffee and put music on low volume; she couldn't bear the silence of the apartment.

Humming to the rhythm of ABBA, Raquel began to chop the peppers and mushrooms, wash the spinach, scramble the eggs and preheat the pan to make omelettes.

Meanwhile in the bedroom, Sergio was waking up. As soon as he opened his eyes, an icy sensation ran down his spine. He was naked, in a bed that was not his, in a room that was not his... he was at Raquel's place. He groaned internally.

Oh jeez, what the hell had he done?! He had acted with his body and not his mind. His body that _begged_ him to take her and adore her. But his mind was screaming at him to be cautious. And now, what was next? He didn't even know if Raquel was home. For a moment he thought she was gone and had left him there alone

He remained still and silent, waiting to hear something. He noticed some faint noises, coming from the kitchen. Getting out of bed and searching the bedroom floor for his clothes he freaked out when he couldn't find his shirt or glasses. Revisiting the events of the previous night, he remembered that Raquel had stripped him of his glasses in the living room and his shirt in the hallway on the way to the bedroom. He couldn't help but smile at the memory, it had been a wonderful night, that was for sure.

Stepping out into the hallway and grabbing his shirt off the floor, he immediately put it on and headed for the kitchen, his heart pounding in his throat. A feast of smells welcomed him there, it smelled delicious; coffee, butter, onion, egg. But the smell was nothing compared to the vision in front of him.

Raquel was standing in front of the stove, wrapped only in a gray cotton robe, the lines and curves of her body, which now he already knew, sharp under the thin fabric, her bare feet, her hair up in a messy bun, she hummed a song she swayed her hips and shoulders along with the melody. He felt the fire within him rekindled.

Sergio cleared his throat startling Raquel.

"Sergio!" She gasped, smiling nervously, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear. Sergio shrugged with his hands inside his pants pockets. Raquel looked him up and down. "You're leaving." She said, more as a statement than as a question.

"I..." he tried to push up his glasses.

"Your glasses are on the coffee table." Raquel told him, when Sergio turned around to take his glasses, she took the opportunity to turn off the stove and her music.

"Well..." He trailed off, both in silence. He didn't know how to say goodbye and she didn't know how to ask him to stay. But they both hated the feeling of discomfort.

"Can I say something?" Raquel spoke up, raising her hand a bit like she was back in her school days.

"Sure!"

“Can we not make this uncomfortable? Look, I get it, last night it was... we kind of lost control, it was a one night stand, a pain relief if you want, I get it—"

"No, Raquel!" Sergio immediately interrupted her, "you are _not_ a pain relief, please, never think that."

“I’m not?" she insisted, "would you swear it?”

Sergio felt all his blood concentrate on his face, causing a wave of heat to run through his entire body. He pushed his glasses up. "I..." he trailed off again.

Raquel chuckled, “Sergio, it's okay! My God, it looks like you're about to burn down, don’t blush! Look, it's okay, there's tension sex, rage sex, make-up sex, and pain relief sex, last night… Last night we both had a lot in our heads, a lot of things happened, it was a crazy day, so I get it, I get that you wanted an outlet."

"I, I, I just don't want you to feel like I was using you."

“Well… you kinda did,” Raquel frowned in a jokingly way, “honestly, we used each other, but hey, it's okay, I swear!”

"Are you sure?" Sergio queried. “Because, I don't know what your expectations were, I don't know what you thought or expected to happen after last night, I—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop there!" Raquel felt for a moment offended, and yes, she wasn’t going to deny that inside her, that cheesy part that until recently had been completely numb, hoped that things would take another way. But somehow, the way that Sergio had worded it made her feel upset. "So, do you think I was hoping to wake up with a marriage proposal?! Sergio, I'm 36, I know how one night stands work!"

"No, Raquel, wait, let me explain! Please!" He begged her.

Raquel breathed deeply, she was pissed, but something told her that she should listen to him, and so she did, “and what is there to explain? That you think I'm a silly girl with a crush?" _Ha!_ She was definitely _not_ a silly girl, but she _did_ have a big crush on him.

"Just shut up and let me talk, ok?!” He said in his best professor voice, as if he was speaking to one of his rebellious students. Raquel was about to open her mouth to fire back, when Sergio cut her off immediately, "listen to me!"

"Okay." She agreed, lowering her guard.

"Sorry if I sounded a little... harsh, but, I don't know how to say this... I... last night was _incredible_ , you, Raquel, you are beautiful in _every_ single way, inside out... I love being in your company and you have already become a constant in my life." Sergio's heart failed a beat, making him sigh raggedly, inside him, a rush of adrenaline had awakened an exhilarating feeling that made him crave more and more of her, but there was also a war; a war between what he wanted and what he could give and what she could accept. Although there was only one way to find out. He had never felt _so_ brave.

"I love being with you, too,” she muttered shyly. She looked at the ground, as if studying her own thoughts, then she returned her gaze to Sergio and that shyness had vanished, now she looked questioning, her guard was back up. "But I feel like there is a ‘ _but’_ coming."

Sergio grimaced, "Raquel, I like you, _a lot_ ... but I'm afraid I can't give you what you need." He opened himself up. "As I told you in the villa, I am not looking for a relationship... or so I thought."

Raquel felt jolt inside her. "What do you mean?"

“That _maybe_ … I'm looking for _something_..."

"But?"

“I… I'm not looking, I'm not looking for something serious, if that's what we can call it. I'm not looking for the pet names, the good morning texts... the _I love you_ ; I’m not looking for the house in the suburbs, the white picket fence, the retriever, the minivan full of children, I don't look for… I _don't_ _want_ the strings."

Raquel pondered his words, "so you just want sex." She responded bluntly, gesturing with her index finger to emphasize each word.

Sergio's jaw quivered in an attempt to speak the right words, "I... no, what I mean is, I'm looking for a free relationship, no strings, a relationship where we can both walk out of it whenever we want without hard feelings."

“So… what you are telling me is that you want us to have a relationship without commitments? No strings?"

"Kind of? That's the thing… I don't think that's what you want— “

"You think I want the minivan full of crying children, the dog and good morning texts?"

Sergio shrugged sheepishly, "I don't know, you-you just got out of a… _difficult_ relationship, I assumed that you—"

"That I want the dog and the children. Because my previous relationship was disastrous now I want the whole cake.”

Sergio had no way to argue those points, and his face was on fire again, until he heard Raquel burst out laughing.

"W-what?" Sergio stuttered, trying to put on an amused expression.

“Sergio, I don't even know what I want! In the first place, I wasn’t looking for anything, other than to get out of the hell I was in, to be free, to feel good, to have fun, and you came along and... and you made me feel good and have fun, believe me I didn't expect this to happen."

"I just assumed—"

"Well, you assumed wrong." Raquel bit her lip to stop the huge smile that threatened to break onto her lips. She couldn't believe the turn this had taken, she wanted to jump and shriek.

“Anyway, you don't have to answer now, think about it, analyze it and if it is what you want... you can give me your answer in two weeks."

Raquel was taken a bit back, "two weeks?" She frowned.

"In two days I will go to Oviedo, I will meet a potential partner to enter the cider market, I will be back just for And—"

_Andrés! Joder!_ Sergio had completely forgotten that his brother was in the hospital, he had practically forgotten about everything outside that little apartment.

“Don't worry!" Raquel said immediately when she noticed his expression, "Alicia texted me when you were still asleep, Andrés called her, he woke up much better, it’s likely that they will discharge him today."

Sergio breathed in relief, knowing that, for the moment, his brother was better, was enough for him.

Now, he couldn't wait to see his reaction when he told him everything that had happened, he couldn't wait to roll his eyes at his annoying comments, he was sure he wasn't going to hear the end of it, but somehow, it didn't bother him. Inside, Sergio felt that he had finally acted with reason and heart. The reason to be honest with Raquel and put the cards on the table, and the heart, which was overflowing with new feelings that he was still struggling to name.

"So... two weeks." Raquel said.

"Yeah... it's a very important business deal, I can't cancel it, in fact, the plan was to arrive from Italy and immediately take the flight to Oviedo."

"Busy man." Raquel teased him and he beamed. She realized that she was going to enjoy doing that a lot if it meant that every time he was going to smile _that_ way. That way that made her knees weak.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

“Oh, are we going to talk about feelings so soon? I thought you were going to give me time to think."

Sergio chuckled, "it's just a saying!"

"Well, for a good reason... I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

Raquel, who until then had been leaning against the kitchen counter, walked a few steps closer to him, but keeping the distance to be just the right amount of seductive. "Such a shame that you don't want good morning texts."

But Sergio was not willing to take that distance, and he took the remaining step to be only inches from her, towering her, close enough to feel her heat, look at her flushed face and her pupils dilated, like last night and her erect nipples under the cotton robe. He brought his hands on her hips, his thumbs rubbing her hip bones, her chest swelled in a deep sigh. "We can break some rules.”

"Oh, do we have rules?" She replied, raising a teasing eyebrow.

"Rules are important, you should know that, Inspector."

"Sometimes it's good to break them, exciting even."

"Exciting?"

“Exciting. _But_ ," Raquel took Sergio's hands and withdrew them from her hips, feeling deeply the lack of them, "I have my own rules, too... no contact, until you come back."

"No contact?" Sergio frowned.

"Physical. I want my decision to be unbiased."

"So... physical contact could bias you?"

"It could, yeah.”

Sergio huffed in amusement. "Okay. In that case, I think I'd better go... we don't want to break the rules."

"Mhm." She hummed, biting her smile.

“One last thing, can we keep this private? At least until we've settled everything down, can we?"

"Of course." She assured him.

"Well..." Sergio walked backwards to the door, without taking his eyes off Raquel, "I'll see you soon, Raquel." He said before disappearing behind the door.

Once alone, Raquel let out a laugh on a sigh, bringing her hand to her mouth to cover it in disbelief. She couldn't believe it, Sergio… he… he wanted to try. She left the kitchen, going to her bedroom, laughing, even forgetting about the breakfast that they didn’t even get to taste, she flopped in bed and took the pillow where Sergio had slept, buried her face there and inhaled deeply, smiling with happiness.

Meanwhile, Sergio had left the building taking a deep breath of the morning air, he felt euphoric, exalted and more alive than _ever_. He couldn't believe what he had done, inside him, it felt good, it felt like the right decision. He couldn’t continue denying it, that big attraction he felt for Raquel had taken over each and every one of his senses, invading every corner within him and no matter how much he tried to shake it off, it only grew stronger.

Who knew it would take some “ _pain relief_ " to finally make a move. Sergio smiled broadly, happy and even surprised at his own progress, he had never imagined that he would, again, be capable of harboring feelings for someone else, and while it was _not_ love, he was in no rush to find out what it was. One day at a time. And for now, he could only wait for Raquel's answer to be _I do_.

Still shaking from the rush of euphoria, Sergio took his cell phone to call his brother and make sure everything was in order.

" _Hermanito_ , where have you been?!”

Sergio chuckled, if only Andrés knew. "Busy." He said with a smile.

"Busy? What is more important than visiting your brother?" Andres complained, though not in a spiteful tone.

Sergio struggled to keep a straight face, "I have something to tell you, but not today. How do you feel?"

“Better, much better."

"I'm very happy, yesterday... you gave me quite the scare."

"I can imagine it, I'm sorry your trip to Italy was ruined, but I'll make it up to you and Raquel."

"You have nothing to make up for, we'll talk about that later"

“Are you coming to see me?"

"Sure! I'll just go home to take a shower first and then— ”

"To shower?!”

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

"Sergio, where were you ?! Who were you with?! No, no, no, let me guess, with Raquel!"

Sergio almost felt irritated at the great enthusiasm of his brother on the other end of the phone, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"You were getting laid while your brother was in the hospital?!” Andrés laughed.

"Shut up! See you later, and please don't say any of this to anyone until I talk to you, okay?"

Andrés hollered in contempt , “I'll be counting the minutes! And, _hermanito_ , I'm very happy for you, not only because it’s Raquel, but… you know."

Sergio smiled shyly, "see you soon."

Then he hung up the phone, but when he was about to put it in his pocket...

Back in her apartment, Raquel was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and going over in her head everything that had happened just a few minutes ago, thinking about Sergio's proposal, in all that it implied, she was so concentrated, that she couldn’t help but be startled when she heard her cell phone ringing.

She took the device and a notification of a new text flashed on the screen, it was from Sergio.

_Good morning!_ ☀️

She laughed out loud, then her cell phone rang again, this time with the ringing of an incoming call, assuming it was Sergio, she was about to slide her finger over the screen to answer, when she saw Colonel Prieto's name flashing on the screen. Her smile faded away.

————————————

_Two weeks later…_

"...then, we plan to go to Saona Island, and then, I don't know, maybe San Juan or Havana, what do you think?" Alicia asked Raquel for her opinion on her honeymoon plans, although they didn't really have one, she and Andrés would just put their finger on the map, and where the finger landed there they would go, one city after another.

They were having breakfast in one of the gardens of the ex-monastery, it was the day before the wedding, some of the guests were already there and others were arriving, they were all over the moon, especially Alicia, but not Raquel, physically she was there, but her mind was thousands of miles away.

It had been a couple of weeks from hell, everything had collapsed since that call from Prieto, informing her that Alberto had been captured and that, he didn’t understand _how_ , but he was put in preventive detention under mistreatment charges, but not only that, more dark things about him had come to light so it was very likely that he would be sentenced soon, not only for abuse, but for other charges as well.

Reality had landed on her like a rain of bricks. Her pink bubble of passion and ecstasy had popped on her face almost mockingly. She was tired, more than physically, mentally, she couldn't stop thinking about Alberto, Sergio, and her. On the one hand she was happy that, apparently, she would get justice, but mainly, she thought of Sergio.

Having come across the reality of her current life situation made her wonder if accepting the kind of relationship Sergio offered her was the best option. She wanted to be with him, of that she was sure, but did he _really_ want to be with her? He had been so affected that day at the villa, that day he was supposed to be celebrating his wedding anniversary, clearly still affected by the memory of that woman. _Ágata_. What if he was just using her as a fallback?

She wanted to know the truth, but she was also terrified to know it, she didn't want to get hurt. But the thought of probably living under the shadow of another woman's memory was just as or more painful.

"Raquel!" Alicia waved her hands in front of her friend's face to get her attention.

“W-what?!" Raquel startled.

“I’m asking what you think!”

"Oh yes, yes, I think your hair will look amazing that way."

Alicia pursed her lips and gave her a narrowed look, "you didn't hear anything I said, did you?"

"I-I'm sorry, Alicia, really… it's been a crazy few days, you know…”

Alicia hummed, annoyed, “I really don't understand you, Alberto is behind bars, just what we wanted and you… you are the one who’s falling apart? You should be celebrating!"

"And I am happy!"

"So why since Alberto got caught it seems like you're going to have a meltdown at any moment?!"

"Is not that."

"Then what is it?!" Alicia insisted, she hated being in the shadows when it came to Raquel and the things that bothered her.

Raquel didn’t know whether or not to tell Alicia what had happened with Sergio. She didn't want her pitying looks in case she and Sergio didn't get anywhere. Luckily, they were both interrupted by Matilde, who needed to know Alicia’s plans for dinner. However, the idea kept spinning in her head.

"I have feelings," Raquel said out of nowhere, without looking at Alicia, her eyes lost in the beautiful garden.

"What?" Alicia frowned, sipping her cup of coffee.

"I have feelings," Raquel repeated.

“Ok?" Alicia trailed off, “so what? Do you want a cookie or something?"

Raquel looked at her, her heart pounding in her throat, there was no turning back, "I have feelings... for Sergio."

Alicia's eyes widened, "WHAT?! Feelings? As in..."

"As in 'my hands sweat, my heart leaps, my head spins every time I see him' feelings."

"Oh, my god, Raquel!"

"I'm such an idiot!" She put her head on her hands, "the worst of all is that I think he's still hung up on his ex."

"Raquel, what happened at the villa?"

Raquel doubted whether or not to tell Alicia about that moment they had shared, or about what she had learned about _that_ woman, and her past with Sergio, and especially about the night they had spent together. But she couldn't keep it inside her any longer, she needed to get it all out or she would explode.

She took a deep breath. "At the villa... nothing, well, we just... we just kissed."

Alicia tried to hide her shock, "o-ok... but something tells me there is something else."

Raquel almost wanted to laugh, Alicia knew her _so_ well. Her cheeks turned scarlet, and it had nothing to do with the sunny summer morning. She wiped sweat from her palms against the soft fabric of her dress.

"Raquel! Please speak, I'm imagining so many things!" Alicia exclaimed in exasperation.

"What are you imagining?" Raquel asked tentatively and Alicia gave her a knowing look. _Fuck_. "Well, yes, it is what you are imagining! I slept with Sergio the day we came back from Italy."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Alicia yelled, standing up from her seat, raising her hands in the air and then bringing them to her head in exaltation, “that’s why you two wanted to ditch me so bad that night!” then she burst into a fit of laughter, "I can't believe it, Andrés in the hospital, me on the verge of a meltdown and you two… you two… _FOLLANDO_!”

"Can you not say it that way?" Raquel complained, "you make me feel terribly guilty!"

Alicia took her seat again, still recovering from her fit of laughter, “But… what now?! No, no, no, first… was it good?! I want all the details!”

Raquel smiled coyly, "very, very good." Alicia shrieked and clapped, “He was so… so soft, but at the same time so passionate, he-he… he touched me in a way that no one had ever touched me before, he respected me at all times and he… he held me all night while sleeping, and it was wonderful.”

“Sergio? Passionate?! Huh, who would’ve thought!” Alicia teased, “If I didn't know better I'd think he's a virgin. But, now what?!” Alicia asked, eager to know more.

Raquel sighed and frowned, “that's the thing! He… he proposed to me to have a relationship”, Alicia shrieked again,“ wait! He proposed to me a relationship _without_ commitments."

“Oh!"

“He told me that he can't offer me anything else, that he doesn't want the strings, nor the _I love yo_ u’s, nor-nor… nor anything that _ties_ us up. He gave me a few days to think about it."

"And what are you gonna do? Will you accept?!”

"I appreciate his honesty, at least he was clear from the start on what he can give me, and it would be perfect if it wasn't for what I found out about his ex."

"Did he tell you about his ex?!”

"Did you know about his ex?!"

"Andrés told me something, but he asked me to be discreet."

"Great!" Raquel muttered under her breath, "but no, I didn't find out from him, no matter how I did, the thing is that I know it, but… I'm scared."

Alicia huffed, “scared? Of what?"

“To be his fallback? He had a pretty hard day, remembering his ex and their wedding day, he practically disappeared all day, he was _clearly_ still affected... After we kissed and it was so uncomfortable and confusing, then what happened with Andrés, we both had a lot of unresolved tension! But then he proposed to me to have this free relationship, but a relationship still, and I thought it was ok, but then Alberto and all my present and my reality hit me in the face and now I'm not so sure that it is a good idea. 

He's hurt, and I want to be with him, but what if he just wants me as a consolation prize because he can't have his ex?! Because having sex with me makes him feel good and forget his reality? Alicia, I don't want to be his outlet forever! I don’t want to be wondering every day if he is with me but thinking about his ex! And the worst thing is that I can't face him because I'm not supposed to know anything about it!" Raquel ranted almost breathlessly, "I don't want to be his second choice." She added with a slightly shaky voice.

Alicia listened to all of her friend's rants with attention, and although she agreed with some things, not all of them, and Raquel noticed it, she noticed that there was something she wanted to tell her. “Can I tell you something?"

"Not if it's painful."

"Yeah, the truth is always painful."

"I don't wanna hear it!"

"Well, you will!" Alicia took Raquel's hand tightly, and gave her a slight shake, forcing her to look at her, "I think you're blowing this way out of proportion."

"What?! Of course not!"

"Of course you are! For starters, Alberto is in jail and he will probably rot in there, so you don't have to worry about him, and second... Raquel, what difference does it make if he had another relationship or not? or if he is asking you for a free relationship? you hardly know each other! You don't know what might happen in the future, and if you ask me, it's better this way!”

"Oh, says the woman who got engaged to a man after knowing him for a week!" Raquel retorted quite upset.

"That’s my point!" Alicia exclaimed, “look at Andrés and me, I thought it was only going to be a one night stand, the day I met him, that same day I had cried for Germán, and now… now we are about to get married! So, don’t jump to conclusions, take it easy, one day at a time, today is a free relationship, tomorrow... who knows?!"

“I… I just don't want to be used as a consolation prize. I like him, Alicia, I like him _so_ much, I like the way he thinks, I like the way he talks, his voice, his tics, his hair… his smile, my god, his smile! But I don't know how he feels about me." Raquel said with a lump in her throat.

"Raquel, he didn't even want a relationship, _at all_ , Andrés told me, he avoided the topic every time someone spoke to him about relationships, so just think about what you caused! If he dared to try a relationship _with_ _you_ after he _swore_ to never have one, don't you think it's for a reason?"

Raquel thought about it, _maybe_ Alicia was right. "Sergio told me that too, at the villa, that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but then the morning after being together, he told me that _maybe_ he was looking for something... it was there when he proposed a free relationship."

"See! I’m telling you! _Cariño_ , you're overthinking this way too much, just take it easy, give it a try… go for it! and if you see that you are right, then you send him to hell and that's it!” Raquel looked at her hands in her lap with an air of sadness. ”Unless..."

Raquel looked at Alicia with a frown, "Unless what?!"

“Unless you… you _want_ the strings? Unless you... _love_ him? Do you love him?"

Raquel went silent for a few seconds, then huffed solemnly, “You sound like you don't know me, Alicia. Love is a very big and strong word… I like Sergio, beyond the physical, I like being with him and the way he is, and every time I see him I feel an immense desire to ravish him, but I wouldn’t consider it _love_."

"This is how Andrés and I started." Alicia shrugged.

“Alicia, you know how hard it is for me to confess my love. I can express all my other feelings, but love? I don't even remember if I ever told it to Alberto... the last man I said ‘I love you’ to was my son, five years ago, you know I don’t go around saying I love you."

Alicia half-smiled sympathetically and reached across the table to take Raquel’s hand. She sighed heavily and wiped a tear with her finger.

"Have you told Sergio about Miguel?" Alicia asked her.

"No. And I _never_ will." Raquel answered sternly. "Look, a person can forget their pity for a beaten woman, but for a woman who has lost a child? I lost my father and that made me an orphan, my mother lost her husband and that made her a widow, but a mother who loses her child? There is not even a word for it! Alicia, you know that there is nothing in the world that I hate more than compassion, people will always pity a mother who has lost a child, and I couldn’t bear Sergio looking at me with compassion, not him."

"I get it. And I don't think Sergio would pity you, he didn't do it after what happened with Alberto... but, _cariño_... you know that the love you had and will always have for Miguel does _not_ compare with the love you may have for a man, or your mom, or me, isn't it? You can't compare them."

Raquel chuckled humorlessly, “Sometimes I feel like I don't know another kind of love… I feel like I don't know romantic love. And don’t get me wrong, _I do_ believe in love, I see you and Andrés and you make me believe in it every day more, I just don’t think I’ve ever had it, or will have it, and now that I have a chance to prove my capacity of love, he doesn't want any tie.”

"One step at a time." Alicia smiled sympathetically, "you don't know what can happen tomorrow, what's more, I'm calling it now... _great_ things will come for you two, you just wait." Raquel smiled gloomily and Alicia grabbed her by the arm, pulling her towards her, sitting on her lap and making her laugh.

“Thank you, Alicia. Thank you for _everything_ , for always being there when I feel I’m lost, I love you so much.” 

“I love you more, _enana.”_ Alicia gave Raquel a kiss on the cheek and they shared a very tight hug.

_"Cheating on me the day before our wedding?!"_

They both heard Andrés joking and walking towards them, they laughed and Raquel stood up from Alicia's lap, almost stumbling when she saw that Sergio was coming along with Andrés.

She knew Sergio would arrive, of course, but she didn't expect him _so_ soon. They weren’t expecting him until early tomorrow, hopefully for dinner. Her heart shot like a rocket, like every time she saw him, and his peculiar smile melted everything inside her.

"Look who decided to arrive earlier!” Andrés said, joining the ladies at the table, Sergio walking a step behind him, his eyes entirely on Raquel and a big smile wavering on his lips.

Both men sat at the table, Sergio next to Raquel. Alicia shot her a mischievous look and she returned a warning expression.

"How was your trip?" Raquel asked Sergio in a low voice, just for him to hear, wrapping them both in their pink bubble once again.

“Good! Tiring, but I'm finally back."

"I am so happy that you are back.” She smiled.

"I am happy to be back." He returned the smile and put his hand on Raquel's knee, she instinctively closed her legs together, causing him to bite his lips in a stifled laugh, then she placed her hand over Sergio's.

"Did you get the cider deal?"

"I did!"

“That's amazing!"

Raquel and Sergio were so engrossed in their own conversation that they didn’t notice the moment when Alicia and Andrés left the table, leaving them alone.

"I have to go check on my mom," Raquel said, "she's having trouble finding her way in this place."

"I see it runs in the family." Sergio teased and Raquel laughed.

“Are you coming with me?" She asked, with a clear suggestive tone.

Whatever happened between them, the truth was that Raquel _needed_ Sergio _now,_ she _needed_ her dose of pain relief, she _wanted_ to have him, she wanted to _feel_ him... tomorrow... tomorrow would be another story. And maybe Alicia was right and it could be the beginning of something else, and if not, at least she would take her share from all of this.

Once outside of her bedroom, Raquel pushed Sergio inside, went in and locked the door. It had been two _very_ long weeks...

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! It's been a century since I last updated 🙈life has been very crazy lately, I hope you are still interested in reading more of this fic, because although it's not a great fic, I'm really enjoying writing it and I appreciate each and every one of the words that you so kindly leave me in the comments, they mean A LOT to me ❤️
> 
> I want to make a little parenthesis because I feel that it's important that you know this now that we have entered a new stage in the story, so...  
> ***PLEASE READ***
> 
> I suppose everyone thinks that Sergio is afraid that the same thing that happened with Ágata will happen again, and partly yes, but there is another BIG reason.
> 
> I want to clarify that Sergio is hurt, what he says is not with the intention of hurting anyone, at all, he simply doesn't know how to handle and express what he's feeling, which is so new and so different from what he felt for Ágata.
> 
> In his wounded and broken mind and soul, he believes that by not having "strings" with Raquel that will protect him because he'll have nothing to lose and that way he'll not suffer anymore, because he's already lost so many people in his life, and is facing the imminent loss of his brother, and the idea of losing Raquel too is unbearable.
> 
> So please keep this very much in mind for the rest of the story until the climax because he *will not* voice this yet, until later, but I wanted you to know that, I think it's important.
> 
> ANYWAY, I really hope you like this new update, it's a bit of a long (6.7K words 😳) rollercoaster, so get comfortable. And let me know what you think!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Your comments keep me motivated, you are so kind!!🥺
> 
> Thanks Em for your corrections and dealing with my meltdowns over fics 😂💜

> _**I don't know if you mean everything to me, and I wonder, can I give you what you need?** _
> 
> * * *

Their bodies were still warm, their skin glistening with the blush and sweat of the act of extreme intimacy they both had _just_ shared. She was lying on her side, her gaze lost in the suspended particles in the air, reflected with the sunlight filtered through the skylight. 

He was close to her body, brushing his beard against the exquisitely smooth skin of her back, closing his eyes, rejoicing in the sensation. His arms holding her firmly close to him, his thumb gently brushing the full roundness of her breasts.

"So," Sergio sighed, "can I take this as an ‘I do’?" He asked.

Raquel shut her eyes, biting her lips. She _needed_ to know, no matter if it hurt, no matter if it disappointed her, for her health and peace of mind, she needed to know.

She turned in his arms, facing him. She wanted to see his expression at her question, she wanted to see his eyes. The eyes, the reflection of the soul, they couldn't hide anything.

"Sergio, what made you change your mind?"

He frowned, "change my mind?"

"Please, you know what I mean." He shifted, lying on his back, staring up at the high ceiling. She propped up on her elbow. "You were adamant that you didn’t want a relationship, when we kissed, you said that you couldn’t do it and now..." she sighed heavily, "I don’t want this that we have, or are going to have, to be limited only to the sexual aspect, I want the talks, the good times, and don't get me wrong, you're amazing in bed, but I don't want _just_ _that_."

"I told you that I can't give you anything else."

"But I’m not asking you to marry me! I'm asking you to explain to me why you changed your mind, and that we don't downgrade everything to just sex. That's it!”

Sergio remained silent, his eyes darting all over the room. "I don't know, I don't know what made me change my mind, I guess it was you."

"You guess?!” Raquel retorted.

"What else can I say? Raquel, I… forget it.”

"Yeah, forget it!” She huffed, “you know what? You're right, forget it, forget everything!” She wrapped the sheet around her naked body and got out of bed, taking her underwear and dress off the floor and getting dressed. Sergio sat on the bed, watching the action. "We should never have mixed friendship with sex." Raquel turned to leave the room, when...

"There was a woman." Sergio spoke and Raquel froze in her spot, her hand clenched to the door knob. "Her name was _Ágata_."

_There it was_. She felt like an ice bucket being spilled over her head. Slowly she turned around and leaned against the door, staring at Sergio, sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked defeated, his hands in his lap and his gaze fixed on them.

“I met her 12 years ago, she was my student at economics school. She was 18, she was starting her studies, I was 26 and I was starting to teach." Raquel was immobile, she didn't know that, she thought she was more her age.

“At first she was just my student, she was rebellious, uninhibited and outspoken but extremely intelligent which made her stand out among all the students. But it wasn't until she was close to graduation that our relationship began to change, we no longer saw each other as the student and the professor, but I didn't want to go further while she was still my student. And on her prom day she asked me out."

Sergio chuckled longingly which made Raquel feel a turn in her stomach. “She pulled me away at the end of the graduation ceremony, with her honorific mention diploma in hand and said, ' _You are no longer my professor, and I like you, and I know you like me,_ be _my boyfriend_ ’!”, he chuckled again, “She got straight to the point, I think that's what I loved the most about her. I’m an over thinker and she was very straightforward, in a way we complemented each other. So I said yes, and we started dating.”

So that was what he loved about her, her _straightforwardness_ , while she was there, her head in a mess, overthinking the same things a thousand times, he rubbed it on her face that what he loved the most about his ex was her frankness. _Great!_

"And what happened next?" Raquel asked in a whisper, pretending not to know the outcome of the story.

"We dated for 2 years, when I proposed to her, she immediately said yes and it was a year full of preparations, until..." Sergio let out a shaky breath, took off his glasses and pricked his eyes with his index and thumb fingers. He looked up, his eyes, a reflection of his soul, looked as sad as she had never seen him. “The day of the wedding, with all the guests waiting in the church… the minutes passed… she didn’t arrive…. she never came. I tried to look for her, but she asked me to leave her alone... I haven't seen her ever since nor do I know anything about her.”

Raquel felt like crying. When Matilde told her part of the story, she had felt extremely sad for Sergio, but somehow, hearing it from his lips and knowing the whole context of their relationship only made it more depressing. She could only imagine his pain.

“That's why you…” Raquel began, “is that why you don't want any kind of commitment? Are you afraid it will happen again? Are you afraid that I… are you afraid that I am going to hurt you the same way she did?"

"I don’t know. I don't know, Raquel, and please don't ask me for an explanation, not now. The only thing I know is that... that it still hurts, that I'm not healed yet, but I also know that I haven't felt the same way I feel with you in _years_. That's all I know.”

Raquel nodded thoughtfully. Sergio was staring at her carefully, he could almost hear the engines in her head, working at full speed.

"Do you still love her?" Raquel blurted out her question, and immediately regretted it, because they were _not_ supposed to talk about feelings, if he still loves her or not, it’s none of her business because his ‘I love you’s’ were _not_ going to be for her. Never. "No, no, don't answer that."

"I was honest with you."

"Yeah, and I appreciate that.”

"So?" Sergio asked, a bit cautious.

“You have no idea how sorry I am for what that woman did to you, I can only imagine the amount of pain you were, and you probably still are in. From the bottom of my heart, I am _so_ sorry." She took a deep breath. “But I stand by what I said, we should never have mixed friendship with sex. Can you close the door when you go out?"

Raquel didn't give Sergio time to say anything else when she turned around and left the room. He took a pillow and threw it with all his might to the wall.

Sergio was disappointed and hurt. After _years_ he had dared to be brave, he had put his fears aside to try something with Raquel, the woman who had made him feel _so much_ in such a short time, but she seemed not to see that. Why? Why? Why? Sergio wondered, he felt that all his bravery had been in vain.

Raquel stomped out of the room, walking through the corridors without an exact direction, until she found a dead end corridor, turning around and going the same way, she ran into Ángel.

"Raquel! You ok?" He gently took her by the arms as she slammed into his chest.

"Yeah, yeah." She answered nonchalant, although she hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks.

”Raquel, what is it? Why are you crying?" He insisted.

"Please, Ángel, I don't want to talk about that." She kindly asked him.

"It was that man, wasn't it?"

Raquel frowned, “what? What man?"

"That man, Fonollosa's brother.” 

"I... I don't know what you're talking about, now, would you excuse me, I need to find my mother."

Raquel walked past him, leaving him standing there in the hall. Ángel went after her, but on the way he met Sergio, adjusting his tie and leaving the room that was supposed to be Raquel’s.

"Sergio!" Ángel greeted him, unable to avoid the acidity in his voice.

"Ángel!" Sergio smiled tightly.

"Isn't that Raquel's room?"

“I-I-I.” Sergio stuttered.

“Sergio,” he said his name in a mocking way, taking a defiant step towards him, “Raquel is my friend, and I love her, and I don't know what's going on between you two, I just know that I just saw her in a sea of tears, and now you are leaving her room, so it’s not very difficult for me to put two and two and make conclusions.”

"And what are those conclusions?" Sergio asked, mimicking his defiant vibe.

"You made her cry."

"Me? I… Look, Angel, Raquel has been through a lot lately—”

Ángel started laughing, “not you talking about how much Raquel has been through! You, who showed up a week ago, thinking that by giving her flowers, cookies, a book and taking her to Italy for two days you already know everything about her! You don't know shit about her! What happened with Alberto? That was nothing! Raquel has gone through hell and back, and I have seen her shattered on the ground and I have seen her get up and pick up the pieces on her own, so don't come here and pretend you know her, because you don't! And I warn you, if I find out that she sheds _one_ more tear because of you… you will know me.”

Sergio huffed, "what happens between Raquel and me is none of your business, and she is a woman old and strong enough to defend herself, I'm sure she doesn't want you to defend her."

Sergio walked away from Ángel feeling furious, who did he think he was threatening him? But then he thought about Raquel, she was crying. His heart clenched thinking of the image of her crying. He hated seeing her cry and knowing that he was the cause of her crying hurt even more. He, the one who had sworn _never_ to hurt her had made her cry.

The rest of the day, Sergio didn’t see Raquel again, she didn't even join them for dinner, and what bothered him most was that Ángel wasn’t around either. He didn't know why, but his blood boiled at the thought of them being together.

They all went to sleep euphoric for the day ahead of them tomorrow. When he retired to his room, he looked at the door to Raquel's room, closed and in the crack below there wasn’t any trace of light. Out of curiosity he looked at Angel's room, however it did have light, although he didn’t know if he was there, since he and another friend were sharing the room. The uncertainty was killing him.

Defeated, he locked his room and didn't come out until the next day. It was a mess in the corridors, and the same in the gardens. People coming and going, laughing and screaming. The decorators had started their work yesterday, and were still working on the last details. The banquet service, with the food that he and Raquel had chosen, also prepared the last details.

Deciding that he was not in the mood for all the fuss, he returned to his room, when he noticed that the door to Raquel's room was ajar, just a little bit, but enough to sneak and see the full-length mirror and its reflection.

He could hear the voices of Mariví, Alicia and Raquel. He moved closer to see more of what the mirror reflected. Alicia was sitting on a chair, someone was doing her makeup, the same Mariví. But even though he listened to her beautiful voice, he couldn't see Raquel's reflection.

_"I'm not sure, what do you think?"_ He heard Raquel say.

_"Well, show us!"_ Alicia replied.

And there it was, his heart leapt just seeing her reflection in the mirror. She was wrapped in a black satin robe, her hair and make up was already done. Her brown eyes and red lips standing out even more with the makeup. Her hair was perfectly styled into a sleek high bun, leaving her sharp features and neck entirely exposed.

_"I don't know, I feel like the belt, the garters and the claps are digging into my waist and thighs!”_ Raquel complained.

_"It's because you're not used to that kind of lingerie."_ Alicia said _. "Come on, show me!”_

Raquel removed her black robe and Sergio felt as if he were going to faint right on the spot. Raquel was wearing a set of fine lace lingerie, strapless bra, garter belt and stockings all in black.

_“I think the stockings and the garter belt are too much. The dress is mid-calf length. Golden. Black stockings will look horrible!"_

_"Yeah, she's right."_ Mariví agreed.

_"Yeah... but you look so hot!"_ Alicia exclaimed and the women laughed.

That if she looked hot, Sergio thought. She was a vision. Raquel looked at herself in the mirror, turning around, pulling on the garters, slapping them on the skin of her thighs, her index fingers tracing the edge of her lacy panties over her buttocks, inserting her hands inside her bra, accommodating her breasts. _Fuck_! He wanted to get into that room, kick everyone out, and _take_ Raquel for hours. 

He was so engrossed in looking at her that when he heard someone clearing his throat behind him, followed by a hand grabbing the door knob shutting it, he couldn't help but jump in shock.

Sergio turned and met his brother, smiling cynically.

"She is beautiful." Andres stated.

"You better not be talking about Raquel." Sergio warned him.

"Calm down, lover boy! I'm just acknowledging that she is beautiful! I'm not going to steal her from you." Sergio rolled his eyes. "You know? It is very tasteless to poke around rooms, especially where a group of women are getting dressed, an elder woman among them.”

"I-I was just passing by.”

"Yeah, sure." Andrés put his arm around his brother's shoulders and walked him away from there. "Come on, you're my best man, you have to help me get ready for my big day!”

What Sergio didn’t know was that Raquel had seen his reflection, sneaking around, and that all that act of looking herself in the mirror and playing with her lingerie was nothing more than a blatant provocation.

* * *

"So, _hermanito_ ," Andrés said and Sergio knew that he would begin another of his annoying speeches, "tell me, how are things going with Raquel?"

“They are not going," Sergio grunted as he adjusted the bow of his black tuxedo, "I'm not sure they ever did."

"What happened?"

"I... told her about Ágata."

"Oh!" For a moment Andrés' heart clenched. He had opened up about one of the biggest traumas of his life, and he had been rejected, for the second time. "What did she say?"

Sergio sighed and sat on the bed, placing his elbows on his knees, crestfallen. “It all started when I couldn't explain what made me change my mind about a relationship. So I tried to explain to her where I came from but still she insisted that we should never have messed up our friendship."

Andrés stopped what he was doing and sat next to his brother, patting him lightly on the back. “Sergio… I'm not going to meddle with the reasons behind your decision to go for a free relationship… even if I imagine them. You are an adult and you know how to manage your life, the same for Raquel... but even if I don't know her too much, I know there is something behind it, maybe... I don't know, your sudden change took her aback, it even took me aback, but why don’t you talk to her? If you want to be with her, in whatever status, _fight_ for it. Raquel is not Ágata.”

“I know that she is not Ágata, but I want to respect her, respect her decisions, I don't want to push her, she has enough on her plate. At least she told me so to my face." Sergio smiled gloomily.

"Talk to her." Andrés insisted.

* * *

Finally the moment had come. With Andrés and Alicia being masters of good taste, the place seemed taken from a dream. Everything, from the smallest detail, was beautiful, exquisite and elegant.

Everyone was in their places, ready for the ceremony. Andrés was at the altar, rocking back and forth, nervous, but smiling so, so widely.

Sergio was a few steps next to him, his best man. His hands on his back, his gaze fixed at the end of the center corridor, he couldn’t wait to see Raquel walk in.

When the first notes of an instrumental song began to play, two little children came down the red carpet, throwing white rose petals, they all smiled and gushed at the cuteness of the little ones, but Sergio just wanted them to walk quicker.

But then she was there. He swallowed _hard_. To say that she looked like a goddess was an understatement. She… she looked out of this world. Stunning. Like a dream. She reminded him of one of those flawless actresses from the old movies that his mother watched when he was a child. Greta Garbo. Sara Montiel. Grace Kelly. María Félix. Joan Crawford. Sofía Loren. But she was, in his eyes, a million times more spectacular.

Andres looked back, winking at him, and he couldn't help smiling nervously. He was trying to stay composed, but he was finding it impossible. She was wearing a beautiful gold sequined and crystal gown, strapless sweetheart neckline and corset, with a puffy skirt that fell just above her ankles and nude pumps.

The faint streaks of the evening sun that crashed with the crystals on her dress created technicolor sparkles all over the place, and for a moment he thought he was dreaming. Suddenly, everyone around him disappeared, and it was just her and him.

When Raquel reached her place at the altar, she shot a quick glance at Sergio, her heart skipping a beat when she saw him standing there and _so_ handsome. Dressed in a black tuxedo and his hair slicked back, she couldn’t take her eyes off him, they both held their gaze, straight and deep, saying so many things, things their mouths kept silent but their eyes couldn’t hide and were louder than their voices.

The ceremony went by in a spell, for both Sergio and Raquel, the voices, the laughter and the shouts of joy, just murmurs in the background, it was all just stolen glances.

Once the religious and civil ceremony was over, everyone went to another of the gardens where the party would take place, again, everything was extremely tasteful and elegant. Luckily, or, bad luck for Raquel, she and Sergio were at the same table, along with Ángel, she was right in the middle of these two, as well as her mother and two of Andrés's friends that she had never seen, and who were called by their nicknames, Marsella and Bogotá. So darn weird, she thought. But she brushed it off, Raquel just wanted to drink and dance, drink and dance it _all_ _out_ , so who cared what their names were.

The party began, and Andrés invited Alicia to the center of the dance floor. They all looked at them with huge smiles, whispering excitedly about what was about to happen.

“ _Amore mio_!" Andrés said into the microphone addressing Alicia, “finally, husband and wife, when I met you I never thought it would end this way, my life is one before and after you, you have brought so much light, so much joy and so much passion to my life, I can't imagine it without you. You know my sins and my glories, but I can assure you, and you can ask anyone here, that I haven’t said this to anyone… but you are the love of my life." Alicia was making a superhuman effort not to cry, she was biting the inside of her cheeks and playing with her hands. "But I also remember that when we met, you were there so beautiful, the Roman Colosseum, insignificant next to you, I told you that one day you were going to dance this song with me."

Andrés snapped his fingers and threw the microphone into the air. At that moment the notes of Barry Manilow's “Can’t Smile Without You” began to play and Alicia lost it entirely. She threw herself into Andrés' arms laughing and crying and they both danced their first dance as husband and wife, both were all smiles, tears and kisses.

At their table, Raquel was not the exception, she was crying while looking at Alicia and Andrés. "They look so happy." She said, to no one in particular.

"They do." Sergio answered her. Raquel turned to him, again hanging her gaze not only on his eyes, but also on his lips, he was _so_ close, if she tilted her head a little, she could kiss him.

"I give them 3 months." A hoarse voice said, breaking their spell. They all turned frowning at who had made such a distasteful comment, it was Bogotá.

"What a horrible thing to say at a wedding!” Raquel scolded.

They all decided to ignore the inappropriate comment, and returned their attention to the happy bride and groom.

A while later, the party was in full swing, everyone was dancing, there was no one sitting at their tables, well, almost no one. Marsella had asked Mariví to dance, Bogotá had gone after a woman and now they were practically making out on the dance floor, so only Raquel, Sergio and Ángel were seated.

Raquel wanted to run to the dance floor, but she didn't want to look like a loser dancing alone, she even thought about joining the group of cops who danced off the beat in a circle.

She looked at Sergio and Ángel, she didn't want to leave either of them sitting alone. "Shall we dance?!” She smiled widely, inviting them both to dance.

"The-the three of us?" Ángel asked.

"Yes! Why not?!”

"Oh I-I don't—" Sergio stuttered and Raquel cut him off.

"Yeah, I get it, you don't dance. Come on, Ángel?"

Ángel rose from his chair with a big grin, "after you." He said and they both headed to the dance floor, leaving Sergio to be the _only_ person sitting in the entire place while everyone danced.

Sergio watched as Raquel and Ángel seemed to be having the time of their lives, both laughing, dancing and jumping to the rhythm of the music. He didn't hesitate to put his hands on her, and she didn't seem to care. He grabbed her around the waist and turned her around. She laughed, throwing her head back, so hard he could almost hear her laugh over the music.

"She is having the time of her life... with another man."

Sergio sighed heavily when he heard his brother's annoying words.

"What do you want, Andrés?" Sergio asked, but without taking his gaze from Raquel. “Shouldn't you be dancing like everyone else?"

"I just came to see what my little brother was doing here so alone."

"As if you didn't know that I can't dance."

Andrés took a seat next to his brother, lighting a cigarette, remaining silent.

”How do you do it?" Sergio asked out of nowhere.

"Do what?"

“How do you manage to jump over and over again in a relationship with how disastrous your past relationships were? How come you’re not afraid of failure, of pain, of _loss_?”

Andrés chuckled, “that's love, _hermanito_ , love is taking risks, it takes a lot of courage for love, but it is part of life and you have to enjoy it until the party is over. No pun intended."

"But love? Did you love all your ex's?"

"I did!” Andrés answered, sure of his affirmation, "I loved each and every one of them, although not in the same way."

"Let me guess, Alicia is ‘the one’.” He quoted with his fingers.

“Even if you say it with that mocking tone, she is. What I feel for Alicia is something I have never felt before in my life, it's like being thrown into the void blindfolded, it's euphoric, it's erotic, it's peaceful, it's… it's terrifying too. "

“Terrifying? Don't you say that love doesn't have to be scary?"

“It can be… you always fear to be the one who loves the most, or to lose yourself and who you are amid so much love. Although my fear lies in other things that I will not discuss on the happiest day of my life."

But Sergio knew better, his fear of love lay in death. _Love_ and _death_ , so similar yet so opposite.

However, once again his brother's words would stay in his head ... _"What I feel for Alicia is something I have never felt before in my life."_ What he was feeling for Raquel was far from what he had felt for Ágata, but, was it _love_?

"Are you in love with someone?" Andrés blurted out and even though he didn't say names, there was no need.

"I-I'm not. I like Raquel a lot. But I'm sure it's not love."

"I never mentioned Raquel." Andrés said, causing a deep blush in his brother, giving him one of his trademark mocking smiles.

"You know? Alicia told me that that man who is dancing with Raquel, Ángel, has been after her practically since the police academy."

Sergio hummed annoyed and downed the rest of his glass of champagne, "who knows, maybe the next wedding is theirs."

Andres laughed out loud, coughing up his cigarette smoke, "You're so funny!" He hit him on the shoulder, "but you're also burning with jealousy, you're not fooling me."

“Don't be ridiculous!" Sergio grunted.

"Go get her." Andrés challenged him.

"What?" Sergio frowned.

"Go get her, stop both of you with the stupidity! Life is very short, do you want to be with her? _Fight for her_!" Sergio shook his head, returning his gaze to Raquel who was still jumping and dancing happily. Andrés sighed, "Alicia is going to kill me, but I feel like I need to tell you this or you two will keep running away from each other while having eye sex."

"WHAT?! Eye what?"

“For god’s sake, Sergio, the way you looked at each other during the whole ceremony? I felt that both of you pierced my soul, you were so obvious!”

Sergio rolled his eyes. "But what do you have to tell me?"

Andrés smiled, took the champagne and refilled Sergio's glass. “Raquel wants to be with you, but hey, that's not a secret. She is fine with all the "free relationship" thing. She is a modern woman, Sergio, if you thought you had scared her with that, that was not the case... but she is afraid of other things.”

“Scared of what?!”

“That for you she is _just_ sex, and nothing more. That you are using her to ease your pain."

Sergio gaped at Andrés, blinking rapidly, "w-what?" He breathed, "That-that-that's not true! I would _never_ use her, never! Like I told you, she just asked me why I had so suddenly changed my mind!”

"Yeah, and apparently the fact that you couldn't answer her told her that you only wanted her as a sex toy."

"Ugh, Andrés, don't talk about her like that!"

"Ok, ok, sorry! So, _hermanito_ , stop the fuckery and go get your woman!"

Sergio took the glass of champagne and drank the whole of it in one go. He got up, adjusted his bow tie, jacket and cufflinks, and walked confidently towards Raquel.

He couldn't help the satisfaction inside him when he saw Ángel's smile disappear like a snap of his fingers when he saw him.

"Sergio!" Raquel exclaimed with a big smile when she saw him. "Have you decided to dance with us?!”

"Yeah, I think so."

"We are dancing salsa," Ángel intervened, "a dance of two."

"Angel!" Alicia came to save the moment, “thank god you're available to dance, I don't know where the hell my husband is, come on, dance with me." She took him by the arm and led him to the other side of the dance floor, away from Sergio and Raquel.

They stood looking at each other for a few seconds, "so... can you tell me what to do?"

"Sure!" Raquel replied. "Give me your hands, it's not difficult, just feel the music, ok?" Sergio nodded, adjusted his glasses and gave his hands to Raquel. “Well, first the basics, three simple steps. Back, center, forward. When I bring my right foot back, you bring your left foot forward, then both back to the center, then when I bring my left foot forward, you bring your right foot back, are we?”

Sergio was absolutely, completely, entirely _confused_. Left, right, center, center, right left. 

"I-I... can you repeat it to me?"

Raquel laughed but repeated it all over again. “Look, let's get moving, slow. My right foot back, what about you?"

"My left foot forward?” Sergio frowned.

"Right! Then back to the center, let's go!”

"Then your left foot and my right foot, right?"

"Quick learner!"

Raquel kept showing Sergio the basics of salsa and they were both having the time of their lives. No one would say that only a few hours ago there was a heavy cloud of tension between the two of them. They were all laughs and the occasional stomps.

“I should have put on combat boots! At this rate you will leave me nailless and toeless!” Raquel made fun of Sergio when he stepped on her for the… she had lost count.

"Sorry, sorry! We can stop if you want, I'm lousy at this."

"No! I'm having fun, I don't know about you."

Sergio grinned widely and tried another move, again resulting in another stomp. But then the music changed and the gentle notes of "Make You Feel My Love" started to play loudly.

Some guests whistled and complained at the drastic change in music. Some returned to their seats, others took their partners to dance the soft, romantic ballad. Sergio and Raquel stood in front of each other, looking at everyone around them except each other.

When Raquel's eyes found Alicia, she and her mother were next to the DJ, giving her double thumbs up and mischievous smiles. She wanted to kill them. Well, not so much. She was just waiting for Sergio to make a move.

As if he had heard her thoughts, Sergio looked at her, with those deep black eyes of his. "Well, we went from salsa to ballad."

Raquel laughed and immediately wrapped her arms around Sergio's neck and he put his arms around her hips. The height of her heels lifted her enough so her head was closer to his head, perfect to be placed on his shoulder.

"Look at them," Raquel said, referring to Alicia and Andres who danced, staring at each other, saying things that only they could hear while they smiled widely, "I've never seen Alicia smile like that, so wide, her eyes are shining!”

"I hadn't seen my brother this happy either, in any of his previous marriages."

Raquel smiled wistfully looking at the newly married couple, then looking away.

They swayed slowly to the beat of the melody, both rejoicing in the feeling of each other's body so close. The attraction and tension between them was evident, Raquel felt his hands around her hips like fire and she tried everything to contain herself and not shudder under his touch.

Sergio felt the same way, he had never danced this way with a woman, feeling her body again pressed against his was making him feel all kinds of things.

"Kiss me." Sergio blurted out.

"What?!" Raquel exclaimed, looking at him bewildered.

"Kiss me now, here, in front of all these people."

"Have you lost your mind?!"

Sergio huffed and tightened his arms around Raquel, his nose almost brushing hers.

"See? It's not that easy, Raquel. We both are coming from… very complicated things, especially you, why do you want us to run?"

"I don't give a damn what these people think of me." Raquel retorted and when she wanted to pull back, Sergio held her firmly against his chest.

“Ok, I just want you to know, and be one hundred percent sure that you _are not_ and _will not_ be a security blanket, _ever_. So knowing this, whatever you decide, I'm not going to pressure you, but you know where to find me.”

Now, it was Sergio who wanted to pull back, but it was Raquel who tightened her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. She sighed heavily, and it was unclear to him if it's in agreement or goodbye. But for as usual, they both lock themselves in their pink bubble.

The rest of the night, Sergio and Raquel spend it far from each other, but close enough to catch those sneaky glances. She couldn't stop thinking about Sergio's words, and Alicia’s, and even hers, and between glass and glass of champagne, she made a decision.

* * *

It was after 5 in the morning, and finally everything outside was quiet. The party had been a success, everyone had eaten, drank and danced like never before and now everyone was in their respective rooms, resting for the farewell lunch to say goodbye to Alicia and Andrés before they left for their honeymoon, long and with no return date.

Sergio was neatly undoing the sheets to finally go to bed. It had been a crazy pair of days, he just wanted to lie down, close his eyes, and sleep. He was about to do so when he heard a soft knock at the door.

He ignored it, whoever it was at that hour, after a wild party, they could wait until the next day. Sergio got into the covers and took off his glasses, placing them on the nightstand. But they kept knocking on the door. He sighed in exasperation and rose to open it, meeting Raquel on the other side. She no longer wore her hair in the high sleek bun, but in soft waves framing her face, but she was still wearing her golden dress.

"Look at you, knocking on the door." Sergio scoffed.

“ _Déjate de hostias_!" Raquel retorted, giving him an annoyed look.

"Ok, ok. But what happens?"

"Up for a glass?" Raquel asked him, showing in her hands two glasses and a bottle of champagne that until that moment she had behind her back.

"It's almost 6 in the morning."

"I know, but... I have an answer."

Sergio stifled a sigh and his heart soared. He opened the door wider, Raquel walked inside and he closed the door behind her. She placed the bottle and glasses on a small table and turned to look at Sergio.

“Look, Sergio... I… I…” Fuck! She was so nervous! She had prepared a great speech, a speech about feelings, fears, wariness and living life and the present, but somehow, having him there in front of her made her forget each and every one of the words. "I don't want to run, you're right, we don't have to run."

"That means that…?”

"That I agree... that we should try, something simple, something..."

"Something beautiful." Sergio said. "Raquel, something free and simple doesn’t mean something cold, I could never be cold towards you."

"Well, you were quite cold when we first met, here in this very place, in this very room." Raquel teased him, making him laugh.

"You will never let that go, will you?!”

"You started!"

"So?

"So..." Raquel took a few steps towards Sergio, taking him by the lapels of his pajamas, "how do these things start?"

"I don't know... but we can find out, we're not running, are we?”

Sergio was about to bend down to kiss her, when Raquel gently pushed him back.

"I think this will help us a bit," she brought her hands to her back and unzipped her dress, "you certainly enjoyed it when you spied on me through the door." When the dress fell to her feet, she was wearing the set of fine lacy lingerie that Sergio had liked so much and had aroused him so much.

Without letting her say another word, Sergio scooped her up in his arms making her shriek, taking her directly to the bed, enjoying her and making her enjoy, rediscovering and filling each other in _every_ way until tiredness and the relief of pleasure and release took over them, making them succumb to a deep and pleasant sleep.

"What are you doing?" Raquel groaned when she opened her eyes and found Sergio's face just inches from hers.

"Nothing, just appreciating how beautiful you are." Raquel smiled and buried her face in the pillow, purring gently, trying to fully wake up. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well."

"I'm glad." He smiled and kissed her shoulder. "I want us to do something today after the farewell lunch, I don't know, there’s a little town not far from here called Fiesole. We can go and walk around, have dinner somewhere small and cozy, we can stay over there for the night if you want.”

“Only if the tour includes history lessons from my favorite history professor.”

Sergio laughed, “private and personalized lessons.”

“Then I love the idea.” She grinned.

"It's a deal then.” He gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"By the way, changing the subject, you are such a liar!”

“Liar?!" Sergio frowned in confusion. “Why?!"

"You told me, that night at the villa, that you couldn't sleep with anyone else in the same bed, and not just today, but _that_ night in my place, you were snoring like a bear!”

“Now you are the liar! I don’t snore!"

"You do!" Raquel laughed.

"Ok, maybe I do, but only when my sleep is very deep… and I don't know, maybe you bring me a lot of sense of tranquility, that's why I can sleep with you so easily."

Raquel smiled warmly, and pulled him toward her, welcoming him between her legs.

"Have I told you how much I love your scent?" Sergio mumbled with his lips against the skin between her breasts, moving up to her neck, placing butterfly kisses here and there.

“You haven’t." She said, burying her fingers between the soft strands of his raven black hair.

"I could lose myself in your scent forever."

"Yeah... Patrick Süskind wrote a book about that, quite disturbing if you ask me."

Sergio laughed out loud, burying his face into her neck, "Why are you such a killjoy?!"

"I'm messing with you!” In a smooth movement, Raquel passed her leg over Sergio, pushing him back and changing positions, straddling him.

"You can mess with me all you want."

“Oh, yeah?”

"Yeah."

Raquel ground her hips gently and slowly, very, very close to Sergio's member, feeling him grow hard under her, feeling how the tips of his fingers throbbed on the skin of her hips as fast as his heart under the palm of her hands. She went on and on grinding her hips, feeling his body react to her and she was enjoying every second of it.

“C’mon!" Sergio sighed, closing his eyes and digging his fingertips into her hips.

“Patience." She replied, bending over to kiss him.

When he was ready, Raquel helped direct the tip of his penis to her damp entrance, ready for him. They both groaned and moaned, giving each other a couple of seconds to settle into each other before starting what would be their 4th encounter of the night, or rather, of the morning.

Raquel began to move in soft, slow circles, drinking in Sergio's expression and her own pleasure. Unfortunately their pleasure didn’t last long.

“ _Hermanito!_ ”

Andrés stomped in without even bothering to knock on the door first, causing the couple to scream and hide under the covers in embarrassment.

"But what the hell is wrong with everyone _not_ knocking on the damn door?!” Sergio yelled, angry and ashamed that his brother had found them in _such_ a position...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here he we go,... lots of Serquel fluff and smut coming soon!!! 😏❤️
> 
> Let me know what you think!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we are going Serquel fluff 🥰
> 
> This chapter is pure fluff, but the next is smut 😏(and also a bit bittersweet 🙈) and it's ready to post. I'll be posting it this MONDAY. Thank you so much to all the people who have been following this fic this far 💜
> 
> And thanks to Em for cheering me up when a new writing crises strikes again 😅💕
> 
> Side note: I invite you to read my other brand new fic, "My Love, My Life" 😬

> _**We can go slow, we don't need to rush.  
>  I'll take the wheel, make you feel every touch... ** _
> 
> * * *

"Raquel... come on, everyone is already in the courtyard." Sergio insisted for the thousandth time, but Raquel didn’t want to listen. She was in bed, snuggled in a ball, completely covered with the sheets tucked under her chin.

"He saw me. Your brother saw me naked. Riding you." Raquel muttered with a hoarse voice and a deadpan expression.

Sergio didn't want to laugh, it had been an extremely embarrassing moment, but he had caught his brother so many times that he thought it was now just life’s payback.

"I already told you that there is _nothing_ wrong, I swear that Andrés will not say anything, and if he says, I allow you to slap him."

"I don't even know if I'll be able to see him in the face again after what happened."

"Don't be silly, c’mon!” He sat on the edge of the bed next to her, kissing her head and trapping her in the middle of his arms. "We have to say goodbye to Alicia and Andrés, we don't know when they will return."

"It was so embarrassing!" Raquel whined, lying on her back and covering her face with her hands.

"It was, but hey, we weren't doing anything wrong, we are two adults, we have nothing to be ashamed of, in any case, it is Andrés who should be ashamed."

"Why are you so calm and collected?!"

"Although it may not seem like it, I want to be swallowed by the earth."

“Yeah, sure!" Raquel mocked and tilted her head up to give him a quick kiss.

“Why don't we just leave now? We say a quick goodbye to Alicia and Andrés and take the road to Fiesole, it is about an hour and a half away, we take advantage that it’s still early."

"I love the idea." Raquel beamed. "Call me boring but I'm not in the mood for more parties. Last night I had enough parties for a lifetime. I want something quiet now, just you, me and a little town.”

"Then _we_ are boring, because I am not in the mood for more socialization either."

They both laughed out loud and joined in a warm kiss, which was interrupted by Sergio's cell phone. Rolling his eyes, he pulled back and took his device from the nightstand, sighing heavily when he saw who was calling.

"All good?" Raquel queried.

“It's from the winery board. Just give me a few minutes."

"Yeah, take your time."

Sergio gave her a half smile and answered the phone. "Bianchi!"

Raquel tucked the sheet around her chest, scooted up, and leaned against the headboard, staring at Sergio attentively. There was something so curiously sensual and arousing about seeing him in business mode.

"Yeah, yeah, very good, thank you. Yes, the deal is closed. Well, all of that is stipulated in the contract I sent you." Sergio got up from the bed and began pacing the room.

"But-but... the transition is not official yet!” Raquel could notice how his mood changed by the second.

“What?! Andres didn't tell me anything about that!" Sergio sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Is there any way we can delay it a few days," he looked at her, "I'm not in Milán."

"Ok, ok, I get it, I'll take the first train to Milán, see you later." Sergio hung up the phone and closed his eyes, tapping his forehead lightly with the device.

"Raquel... I'm so sorry—"

"No! Sergio, no, I understand, it's work, I understand."

Sergio sat down on the bed again next to Raquel, however this time turning his back to her and sighing heavily, head down. She knelt behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her chin on his shoulder. "I promise I'm not upset." She whispered in his ear.

“I know, but… Andrés didn't tell me that he had already signed the transition papers, I just need to sign to officially become the CEO of Fonollosa’s wineries." Sergio said flatly.

"Can I say something?" Raquel asked, feeling his discouragement. He hummed. "I feel like you are not happy with _any_ of this."

“It's not that… it's… it's that it's getting true, I never, not even in my wildest dreams, did I imagine that I would end up at the head of the vineyards and wineries. After how Andrés's father treated me, me, in charge of his businesses… _me_!”

"But that man is gone, and Andrés knows that there is no one better for the position… unless... you are not sure about that."

“I hate the idea that this business is going to take me away from what I love the most, which is teaching. I _love_ teaching, Raquel, it is what fulfills me, what I’m passionate about, and now, this new position means constant trips to Italy, and soon to America, I had to give up my history lessons at least for the next semester. I'll only be teaching economics, and don't get me wrong, I like it too, but history…” He sighed.

"History is your passion." Raquel completed for him.

"History is my passion." Sergio repeated solemnly.

"Why don't you talk to the dean? Why don't you suggest that of all the hours of classes that you will have in the next cycle, half be in history and half in economics."

"Because for the image of the university it’s more prestigious to have the CEO of Fonollosa wineries giving economics classes than teaching history.”

"That is not fair." Raquel tightened her arms around his torso and gave him a kiss on the shoulder. "So why don't you talk to Andrés? Why don't you tell him you're honored that he considered you for the position, but it's not what you want.”

Sergio shook his head when he heard those words. “No, no, no… I couldn’t! He-he trusts me, he's counting on me, he expects me to do a good job there. He told me it was his dream!”

"Yeah, but you also have _your_ own hopes and dreams, don't you think they are important, too?"

"I just don't want to let him down."

“You wouldn't let him down, you just… you would be doing what makes _you_ happy, I assure you that if Andrés knew that this didn’t make you one hundred percent happy, he would ask you to _fight_ for what makes you happy. A sibling will always want to see their sibling happy.”

"Yeah... but... no, I'll try first, maybe it's just a matter of getting used to it, maybe in the next cycle I can put in some history lessons."

"Maybe." It was all Raquel said. Although it was sad to see Sergio give up one of his biggest dreams, she understood where he was coming from. He wanted to please his brother in what were practically his last wishes.

Sergio turned slightly to the side and in a smooth movement caught Raquel in between the mattress and his body. "Shouldn't you be packing for Milán?" Raquel giggled.

"I'm practically the CEO, if they need me, they have to wait," Sergio replied in a sultry voice, "I have something more important to do right now."

“Wait, wait, wait!” Raquel freed herself from his arms and his wet kisses traveling down her neck, getting up from the bed and running to the door, locking it. "We should’ve done that earlier." She smirked wickedly and ran back to bed.

* * *

Neither Raquel nor Sergio imagined that the farewell, although temporary, would be _so_ difficult. They had already spent two weeks apart when he had to go to Oviedo, but somehow this time it was different. This time they had barely gotten together, they had literally hours together when they had to say goodbye again.

Returning to Madrid without Alicia and Sergio had been difficult for Raquel. She didn't even feel the city the same way, and although she texted and video called with both of them practically every day, all day and until late, it wasn't the same, she felt lonely, she missed them.

And not only returning to Madrid had been difficult, but also returning to work. Alicia was no longer in the office next door and everyone there looked at her as the cause of Alberto being in jail, as if the bastard didn’t have his share of crimes and what he had done to her had only been the tip of the iceberg.

Luckily she still had Ángel at work, and her mother at home, who from time to time came to her place to keep her company during dinner, and although she loved her madly and was the most important thing in her life, there were times when her meddling got on her nerves. But still she loved her.

"And when will Sergio be back?" Mariví asked Raquel as they set the table, waiting for the dinner they had ordered.

"I don't know, mom.”

"And why don't you call him?!”

"Because he's probably very busy right now."

"What if he is not? It's late, he's probably finished with work already!”

"Mom!" Raquel warned her, “I sent him a message this afternoon and he still hasn't answered back, a sign that he's very busy. He is now in charge of a very big and important company."

"That means he is insanely rich, too, right?”

Raquel rolled her eyes, “I don't know, and I don't care, Mom. I’m with him for who he is, not for how much he has in the bank.”

"Then you two are together!" Mariví clapped.

Raquel couldn’t hide her smile when she saw her mother's enthusiasm, and even if she wasn't ready to tell her about the “ _free_ ” status of their relationship, she was happy that her mother approved of it given the big rejection that she had towards Alberto.

"Yes, Mom, we are together." Mariví shrieked and then there was a knock on the door. "Oh, dinner is here."

Raquel opened the door but on the other side was not the delivery man, but Sergio, carrying a huge bouquet of red roses and his suitcases next to him, clearly coming from the airport.

"Sergio!" Raquel exclaimed in surprise.

“Surprise!” He smiled coyly, “for you."

Sergio handed the bouquet of roses to Raquel, she took them and just when she was about to thank him with a kiss, Mariví appeared next to her.

"Sergio!"

"Mrs. Fuentes!" Sergio said, nervously.

“ _Cariño_ , for you I’m Mariví! And… are you staying for dinner or are you moving in?" Mariví asked, glancing at his suitcases.

"Oh... I-I... I’m coming from Italy, I just wanted to—"

Mariví started to laugh, then took the flowers from her daughter's hands. “I’ll put these in water!” Then she went back inside.

Now alone, Raquel circled her arms around Sergio's neck, standing on her tiptoes and kissing him welcome. "I missed you so much." She said against his lips, between kisses.

"I missed you more."

They remained embraced even after they were forced to stop for air. Just enjoying the presence and warmth of each other.

"Stay here." Raquel sighed with her face against his chest. “My mom will be leaving early tomorrow and I will be free all weekend. If you are free, of course.”

Sergio huffed in contempt, “your mind, I cleared my schedule for the whole weekend. I'm all yours."

“I'm just warning you, my mother will take out all the artillery and bombard you with questions, so if you want to run, I don't blame you and you still have time.”

He scoffed, "after Andrés and Alicia, I think I'll be able to handle your mother.”

"You're my hero."

"Well, well," Mairví reappeared in the doorway, this time with her bag on her shoulder, "it's time for me to leave."

"Leave? Why?" Raquel asked and her mother gave her a knowing look.

"If it's because of me—"

"It is, but it's not what you think." Mariví assured him. ”You two sure have a lot to talk about, dinner is coming, why don't you go in… have some wine… make love.” She winked at them.

"MOM!" Raquel scolded her with her face on fire.

“Oh, _mi amor_ , do you think I was born yesterday?!” Sergio just looked at the ground, clearing his throat and loosening the knot of his tie. “Now bye, my Uber is waiting. Have a good night!" Mariví gave the couple one last wink and left the apartment.

Just as Mariví entered the elevator, the food delivery man came out to deliver the dinner that Raquel had ordered. Now, with dinner and alone, they finally enjoyed their moment together.

"How was your trip? Why didn't you tell me you were back today?!” Raquel asked while she and Sergio ate dinner.

"Because it wouldn't have been a surprise." He smiled. “But… damn, it was exhausting! I couldn't get a single direct flight back, I had to make a stopover in Paris, I'm dead tired.”

"You should’ve gone home to rest first.”

"I wanted to see _you_ first."

Raquel smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "And how did the meeting go?" A gloomy shadow passed over Sergio's face, but he shook it immediately, even so, Raquel managed to perceive it. "Bad?"

He sighed, playing with his fork and his food. “I still can't believe it, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it… Mr. CEO."

“None of that, please! I am and always will be Professor Marquina." Sergio laughed but then his laugh was interrupted by a yawn.

"Ok now, as soon as you finish dinner, you will go and take a hot shower and then I have something for you."

"Something for me?" Sergio took her by the chin with the intention to kiss her.

Raquel slapped his hand playfully away from her. "Not that! You are exhausted, and honestly I am too, also, remember that not everything is _that_."

"We can still shower together." Sergio smirked at her.

“Sorry, but I already showered. So, finish your dinner, then a hot shower that I will be waiting for you with a surprise.”

Sergio gave her a suggestive look, "surprise?"

"Eat!" She ordered. Sergio laughed and kept eating.

Later that night, while Sergio was in the bathroom taking a shower, Raquel prepared everything in the bedroom. When he came out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips and seeing everything she had prepared for him, his lips lifted into a big smile.

The light was off, but there were several candles lit throughout the bedroom which gave a vibe of intimacy, tranquility and peace. There was an oil diffuser with an exquisite smell, the bed was ready to lie on it, and she, so beautiful, already with her pajama shorts and tank top, her hair in unruly waves around her face, she was kneeling on the bed, waiting expectantly for him.

"What is all this?!" Sergio beamed.

“Come here,” Raquel tapped the bed, her smile mirroring his, “lie on your stomach, I'll give you a massage that… uff!” She made an expression of pleasure, “no one has ever given you one like that, I assure you. You will sleep like a baby.”

“Actually… I've never had a massage. I'm not a big fan of being… groped and… touched.” 

"Oh!" Raquel exclaimed with a little too much disappointment and got out of bed. “So…” she turned the diffuser off, “we can just lay down to sleep. I don't know, watch something on tv before, maybe?”

Sergio laughed and knelt on the bed, pulling Raquel by her tank-top, bringing her small figure towards him and placing his hands on both sides of her hips, “I've never had a massage, and no, I don't like being groped by other people… other people that aren’t you.”

Raquel smiled and kissed him gently. She then pushed him down onto the bed, hopping on top of him, straddling him and leaning forward onto his broad back, placing her lips very close to his ear. “You are gonna love this.” She whispered and Sergio grinned.

Raquel gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and climbed down from the bed. She turned the diffuser back on, put on her relaxation playlist, grabbed a bottle of massage oil and a pencil from the nightstand to pin her hair up into a messy bun.

She spilled a stream of oil on the palm of her hand, rubbed her hands together and then brought them to Sergio's back, spreading it all over his skin. He moaned when he felt the contact of her hands on his back.

With her small but skilled hands, Raquel began to gently massage and press Sergio's tense muscles. "Relax," she murmured, "you're very, very tense, your muscles feel like knots under my fingertips."

"It was a few days of hell." Sergio grunted, already beginning to relax.

The more Raquel massaged his back, the more relaxed, sleepy and lightheaded Sergio felt. It was as if she was restarting his life.

The music, the scent, the candles, her hands so firm yet so soft on his back, as if she were delicately and meticulously untangling every fiber from his tense muscles. This woman was a marvel, it had never occurred to him that she was _so_ _good_ at this, he wondered what other surprises she hid in her, he was eager to discover everything.

After more than half an hour massaging Sergio's back, Raquel was finally done. Her hands and arms were a bit numb, but she smiled in satisfaction to herself when she saw Sergio fast asleep, even with his mouth slightly open. She brushed a thick lock of hair from his face with her fingers, watching his peaceful expression. Then she kissed him on the forehead. 

Turning off the music, the diffuser and each and every one of the candles, Raquel unpinned her hair, got into the sheets and lay down next to Sergio, sighing contentedly and sliding into a deep sleep in minutes…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are so married already 😭
> 
> Let me know what you think 😬


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... no sure if people are still liking/interested in this fic 💀 but well, it's what it is 😬 we are *almost* reaching the end, I hope to make it.
> 
> I already had this chapter ready so here it is. Thank you very much to the people who still take a minute to let me know what you think, it means a lot to me and is very inspiring 💛
> 
> And especially thanks to Em for her constant encouragement 💞
> 
> This is a long chapter, I hope you don't mind. If you like it, please, let me know what you think 🙂

> _**Treat me soft but touch me cruel, I wanna teach you things you never knew. Bring the floor up to my knees, let me fall into your gravity...** _
> 
> * * *

The next morning, when Sergio opened his eyes the room was still dark, and the curtains closed. He had never, _never_ in his life felt so wonderful when waking up. He really felt renewed, light, fresh, Raquel's hands had worked wonders on his tired body.

He turned on the nightstand lamp and looked at Raquel, she was still sleeping soundly on her side. Automatically his face lit up with a smile, even asleep she was perfect. She looked so calm, so serene, so innocent. Who would say that awake she was a force of nature, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. That drive and that character was what had attracted him to her in the first place.

Sergio looked at the clock, it was after 7 in the morning, his damn biological clock had woken him up, although he had always been an early riser since he was a child. He thought about trying to sleep again, but he knew it was impossible. He went to the bathroom to relieve himself and then went back to bed. He thought about turning on the television but was afraid of waking Raquel up, so he just took the book she had on the nightstand. He raised his eyebrows at the cover and the peculiar title, “ _Women who Run with the Wolves'',_ but still, he took his glasses, opened it and started to read.

"What are you doing up so early on a weekend?" He heard Raquel groan after a long time of reading.

He closed the book and slid down on the bed, looking at Raquel, “I've been awake for…” he looked at his wristwatch, “wow, two hours! This book kept me company while you were asleep, it's very good!”

Raquel chuckled sleepily, "my mother gave it to me, I haven't read more than 5 pages." Then she snuggled against Sergio's chest, "how did you sleep?"

"You said it, like a baby."

Raquel smiled warmly, "I was hoping to wake up with breakfast in bed as a reward." She teased, making Sergio laugh.

"Trust me, you don't want me to cook. If I had, right now the firefighters would be spraying water all over the building.”

"Liar! You cooked a tortilla that day at the monastery."

“It was a tortilla! What Spaniard doesn't know how to cook a tortilla?!”

"Ok, fair point."

"But I can take you out for breakfast, wherever you want, you choose the place."

"Hmm... I don't know, but a place in open space, with umbrellas and flowers."

"Open space, with umbrellas and flowers?" Sergio frowned, "peculiar request."

Raquel laughed and propped up, crossing her arms over his chest, placing her chin there and looking at his face. "I've been locked in the office for days, I want to have breakfast with sun, air, chirping birds and flowers."

“Then there are two of us, I could use some sun, too.”

"In that case..." Raquel got out of bed and giggled as she opened the curtains, letting in the morning sunlight and the gentle summer breeze, then she jumped back to the bed, snuggling back into Sergio's chest.

"Hey, you still haven't told me where you learned to give such good massages, I didn't think you had that hidden talent."

Raquel huffed, a bit melancholic to remember what had led her to learn that. "It was a few years ago, I got into yoga and meditation and all that stuff, and that's where I learned… I was… in a _very_ dark place in my life, and I wanted some change.”

A very dark place in her life. Sergio remembered Angel's words. " _Raquel has gone through hell and back, and I have seen her shattered on the ground and I have seen her get up and pick up the pieces on her own_."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sergio asked her with all the sweetness that could be found in his voice, gently caressing her arm and her back.

Raquel sat up in bed and sighed heavily, hugging her legs and placing her head on her knees, looking at him. "Another day... maybe?”

Sergio sat up behind her and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her shoulder. "It's okay. Whenever you want to talk, you have someone in me. _Always_."

"Thank you." Raquel replied, exhaling shakily, "It's just... I-I’m still not ready, you know? And I don’t want to ruin this weekend."

"You won't ruin anything, but I understand you," Sergio assured her, "I really do. When you're ready, I'll be ready to listen to you."

Raquel pushed him back onto the bed gently and snuggled close to him again, hugging his torso tightly.

"Don't go back to sleep!" Sergio teased her and poked her side playfully with the intention of making her laugh after falling into gloomy silence.

"I'm not!" Raquel answered sleepily.

“Come on, let’s get dressed. It's the weekend and everything will probably be packed.” Raquel moaned and buried her face in his chest, "come on sleepyhead!” He tickled her.

"I'm going!" Reluctantly, Raquel got out of bed to get ready and go to have breakfast with Sergio.

It was a beautiful morning, warm but not hot, the air was fresh, the sky clear blue with its puffy white clouds. So the couple parked the car a few blocks before where they were going and walked hand in hand through the streets of Madrid to the restaurant with its open space, umbrellas and flowers, just as Raquel had requested.

"You like?" Sergio asked her when they were escorted to their table, under an umbrella and next to a green-wall with dozens of colored flowers.

"I love it!” Raquel beamed, looking around.

The place was beautiful, peaceful and the food was delicious. One of those little hidden gems of Madrid.

"And what do you want us to do next?!" Raquel asked Sergio while she ate the last of her breakfast.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?”

Raquel shrugged, "I don't know," they both laughed, "the truth is that I don't usually have Saturdays off, and my Sundays consist of cleaning the apartment, buying groceries, doing laundry and watching some romcoms on Netflix."

"My weekends are more or less the same, grading papers, planning my classes, answering emails from my students and reading."

"So, let's do something different!"

"Different like what?"

"How about... going to a shooting range?!” Raquel shook her eyebrows and gave him a mischievous smile.

"Shooting range? Like in… shooting with… weapons?”

"Yeah! What else?!”

"I-I don't know, I've never held a gun in my life."

“That's the point! Do something different. I can teach you, and I don’t want to brag, but I was the best shooter in the academy, of the entire class. Even better than Alicia and Ángel.” Raquel said, proud of herself. “Come on, let me teach you, let me be your teacher now!”

"You were already my dance teacher."

"That went terribly wrong!"

"Should I fear this will go terribly wrong, too?”

"Do you doubt my skills?!”

"I doubt _my_ skills!" Sergio laughed.

"Come on, it'll be fun, you'll see!"

What was said, a force of nature. Sergio laughed and shook his head. "Ok, ok, let's go to the shooting range."

Later, once their breakfast was finished, they both made a quick stop by the apartment to collect what they needed and then Raquel drove them to the shooting range. 

An appointment was required, but being who she was the manager always gave her special treatment and let her in whenever she wanted without previous notice.

Sergio was not going to deny it, he felt _very_ intimidated in that place. He had never seen so many weapons and ammunition together in his entire life, they all seemed very sure of what they were doing and they did it with all the naturalness in the world. And Raquel, she walked as if she owned the place, everyone greeted her as if she were an authority, although technically, she was. _Inspectora Murillo._ Then he felt a little giddy and why not, also proud to be with her, by her side.

Even the manager escorted them to the shooting booth. "Welcome, Inspectora Murillo," he welcomed them, "what are you bringing today?"

"Thank you very much Felipe. Well, it's his first time, so something simple, a 9mm."

"Perfect! And sir…” Felipe addressed Sergio, offering him his hand.

“Marquina!" He shook his hand, "Sergio Marquina."

“Welcome, Mr. Marquina. I hope you have an excellent afternoon, and rest assured, you are with _the_ _best_ shooter and gun expert in the whole club."

"You see?" Raquel nudged his side, "I told you."

When everything was finally ready, it was time for the basics. Raquel gave Sergio a quick lesson about the weapon they would use, its caliber, the type of bullet, its impact, its weight and its structure, among other basic and key points that he should know before even touching the weapon.

At all times Sergio looked at her with such admiration and wonder. She spoke with such eloquence and wisdom, without hesitation, she was even intimidating.

"Now, take the gun, feel it in your hand, weigh it, look at it and relax, it is not charged," Raquel showed him the magazine and the slide and fired a shot that only resulted in a _click_ , all to demonstrate and assure him that the gun wasn’t charged.

Sergio smiled nervously once he held the gun. “It's heavy! It feels very strange to have this in my hands.”

“It is, I still remember the first time I held one. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Now, with your dominant hand, you will hold the grip firmly.”

Sergio took the gun with his right hand, put his finger immediately on the trigger and pointed at the target that they had several meters in front.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy!" Raquel exclaimed and stood behind him, lowering his arm.

"What did I do wrong?! Sergio asked with a mortified expression.

"Everything! First, the one-handed shot is not for everyone, it requires practice, is not as easy as they show it in the movies. Second, your posture, open your legs.” Raquel thrusted her leg in between Sergio's legs, forcing him to open them a little, “firm position, that if I push you,” she pushed him, making him wobble, “if I push you, you should _not_ wobble an inch. Your right foot one step back.” She pushed him again, but now Sergio was firmly standing up, smiling maliciously at her.

"Better, Inspector?" He teased.

"Better." She smiled. “Now, your other hand goes around your hand on the grip, creating more stability. Your finger, this is very important, your index finger should _always_ go along the slide, _never_ on the trigger unless you are about to shoot.”

Once Sergio finally had the weapon correctly held and aligned, it was time for his first “shot”.

"Ready? Go!”

Sergio fired, and although again there was only a slight _click_ because the gun wasn’t charged, he couldn't help turning to look at Raquel with a big grin.

“Now, time for the best part." Raquel said excitedly. She took the gun from Sergio's hands, loaded the magazine with bullets, pulled the slide and offered it back to him.

As soon as Sergio took the gun again, his heart raced. A mixture of fear and adrenaline rushed through his body, he couldn't help but think that he had an artifact that could cause too much damage in his hands.

“A weapon is something _very_ dangerous, it can cause a lot of damage,” Raquel said, as if she had read his mind, “we must have a lot of respect for it, and above all, know the great responsibility that we literally have in our hands. First, protection,” they both put on their protective gear, “now, as I taught you.”

Sergio took up the gun again in the same way that Raquel had taught him, and after slight corrections, he was ready to shoot. He fired once, his breathing quickening to the maximum, then he placed the gun on the table and turned to look at Raquel, removing his headphones.

"Just relax." She told him, "If you don't want to shoot anymore, that's fine."

"I do want.” He put the headphones back on and aimed again, firing one, two, three, six, ten times until the entire magazine was empty. When he fired again and nothing came out, he placed the gun on the table, took off his headphones and glasses and turned to Raquel with a huge smile as a result of the high levels of adrenaline that ran through his veins, he felt euphoric, excited, elated, even powerful.

"Wow!" Sergio exclaimed, breathing rapidly. "I hit two!" He said glad and proud.

"You were incredible!" She threw herself into his arms and kissed him passionately.

"Now, it is your turn, Inspector." He challenged her.

Raquel returned the challenging look, put her protective gear back on, loaded the magazine with only 3 bullets, held the gun with one hand and fired, all three times shooting only inches away from each other, right in the target.

"One-handed shot. Target shots. I’m impressed." Sergio said, showing Raquel his honest admiration.

"Just impressed?" Raquel teased.

Sergio took her by the waist, “well…" he put his mouth next to her ear, “and a little... aroused.”

He cupped her face to kiss her, she took him by the back of his head to tilt it down, he thrusted his hands inside her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her hips, moving up her spine, until she stopped.

"Wait!" She gasped, stopping the heated kiss, "let's go home."

They grabbed their things and headed straight back to Raquel's apartment. The adrenaline and excitement gained from the shooting lessons didn’t diminish, on the contrary, it increased.

All the way back they took the opportunity to give quick, but deep kisses. Every time they were stopped by at a red light. Sergio teased her, placing his hand on her thigh, brushing in and out, down and up, very close to _that_ spot where she wanted him most. At a red light, Raquel took the opportunity to return the teasing.

"If I were you, I'd stop," Sergio warned her, "if you don't want me to swerve."

"Ok," Raquel said, trying to control the smile that gripped in her lips and turning her head towards the window, "let's hope my desire doesn't fade away from here until we get home." Sergio smiled and shook his head, stepping on the gas. God forbid that happened.

Once home, all the way from the lobby to the elevator to the front door were quick stolen kisses, but once inside the heat and intimacy of the apartment, they weren't anymore.

Raquel tossed her bag carelessly to the ground. Sergio slammed her softly against the door. She felt the quiver, the tremble within her. Pleasure and anticipation. The need, the craving. There was a wicked and tempting smile on his lips that deepened his dimples. His soft but warm fingers on her hips. Her trembling and cold hands on his nape. It was always that way. His warmth compensating her coldness. Soothing it. His softness, her tremors. The perfect match. A match made in heaven. Just where Sergio wanted to take her.

His deep black eyes, like a starless night. Her dark brown eyes, like a forest in autumn. They _wanted_ each other. They _needed_ each other. They _desired_ each other.

"You wanted breakfast as a reward," Sergio grunted close to her face, "I have a better reward.” He took off his glasses and placed them on the little table close the entrance next to the keys’ bowl.

He got rid of her shirt and her bra, kissing all the way from her neck to her chest, her skin smooth as silk and satin. He traced a path of kisses following her freckles that led him to her breasts, feeling her nipples become hard against his lips, biting them with just his lips making her gasp, then going down to her stomach.

He knelt in front of her, taking off her shoes and then unbuckling her belt and the button on her jeans, unzipping them and pulling them down with a slight aggressiveness that only fueled the fire inside her.

Raquel was starting to feel lightheaded. Her heart pounding in her ears. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the door and throwing herself into the sea of sensations that Sergio was provoking in her.

He took one of her legs, placing kisses from her knee up her thighs, going higher and higher, hovering over where she was already aching for him. With his index fingers he took the hems of her panties, sliding them down painfully slow. Raquel pushed her hips forward to bring him closer to her pulsing core. But he kissed her abdomen instead, his hands firm on her hips, his tongue dipping in her bellybutton. Raquel's breathing became faster and more choked with each passing second.

From her navel, he leaped back to her thighs, close to her crotch, nibbling at the soft skin there. Running one of his hands from her hip to the back of her knee. Sergio placed her shaking leg over his shoulder, giving him better access to where he wanted to go.

"What are you waiting for?!" Raquel gasped, arching her back and hips.

Sergio smiled and bit the hot skin of her crotch with his lips, making her gasp hard. His eyes darkened as he breathed her in, _deep_ , and without another warning he plunged his head and closed his mouth around her clit. Her gasps turned into a throaty growl, tightening her legs around his head.

Sergio flicked his tongue over and over, sucking and twirling and kissing and biting lightly as Raquel squirmed under him. She was losing it. Her hands slapping the door and the wall. She wanted to grab the strands of his hair between her fingers, but at the same time she didn't want to distract him from his task, because oh God, who would say he had such skills? His tongue flat running up and down and in and out and faster.

The faster he went, the weaker her legs felt. She was near the edge. Her breathing was completely erratic. The palms of her hands red from slapping the wall. He held her still against the door, his hands on her hips, but the strength in her legs wasn’t going to hold her up for much longer. Noticing this, he quickened his pace, and lapped, and sucked, and bit, and flicked his tongue mercilessly until she was _there._ She came hard and loud, her hips buckling over him, screaming with pleasure. He caught her, as she slid to the ground, falling in front of him smiling breathlessly, licking her lips, her eyes still closed.

She was still lightheaded when Sergio took her in his arms and carried her to the sofa, settling in between her legs, until she felt the tip of his penis in her damped entrance. She was already _so_ ready and _so_ wet, that he entered her in one effortlessly slid, making her gasp again. She buried her fingers in his hair, circling her still shaky legs around his hips. He felt her walls stretch and accommodate every inch of his length, welcoming him, hot and wet, ready for him.

Sergio began to thrust his hips against her. She was already hypersensitive, she knew it was just a matter of a few more thrusts to come undone under him again. He was rejoicing seeing her small figure stirring beneath him, her hair spread around her head like a halo. He leaned forward, taking one of her pinkish nipples into his mouth, biting and sucking enough to make her scream louder with pleasure. He kept thrusting her, again and again.

Deeper and stronger, until it became more erratic. They were both _so_ close. Their hands clasped. He took her lips in a hungry kiss, growling his release there, followed seconds after by her. Their bodies trembling and their souls filled with nameless feelings.

Finally, still short of breath, still inside her, Sergio kissed Raquel with such tenderness and such softness, as if it were the first kiss he had ever given in his life. Chaste. Pure. He caressed her face with one hand, when he felt a wet sensation under his fingertips. He opened his eyes and felt the tears running down her temples. He frowned, and cradled her by the shoulder blades, pulling her close and kissing her forehead.

"W-what is it?"

Raquel giggled and stroked his face, "nothing, nothing!" She assured him, still giggling and tears still running down her temples. "It's just, I… I… have never felt… _so_ _much_."

Sergio looked at her skeptically. "Hmm... you already have me, you don't have to exaggerate."

"Does it seem like I'm exaggerating?!" She exclaimed. "I'm serious."

"Ok, I believe you… it was kind of… earth-shattering."

Raquel laughed, "I'm pretty sure the neighbors heard us." Then she sighed heavily and wiped away her tears, "Will you take me to bed? The sofa is very uncomfortable.”

Sergio chuckled and lifted her back into his arms, effortlessly. Once in bed, they both snuggled close to each other.

“It's been a wonderful day." Raquel sighed and kissed Sergio's chest.

"Truly. I think it was the most… euphoric day of my life.” He chuckled.

“Those shooting lessons were something else!"

“Yes, they were!” He kissed her head.

They both fell into a comfortable, relaxed silence. Their breaths in sync, their warm bodies, the afternoon breeze filtering through the window, the occasional soft caresses, kisses, and touches. They didn’t realize the moment they fell asleep.

* * *

Sergio was having a wonderful dream when a loud bang woke him up with a start. He snapped his eyes open and his first instinct was to look to his side, Raquel was not there.

As he woke up, his mind became more aware of what was happening. Stomps, yelling, banging, and people running and pushing furniture could be heard in the floor above. There was a whole war up there.

He looked at his wristwatch, it was a little after 6 in the afternoon. He got out of bed and got dressed, going to the living room in search of Raquel, finding her on the sofa, video-calling with Alicia.

"Hey, Alicia, I have to go, can we talk tomorrow?" Raquel told Alicia as soon as she saw Sergio appear in the hallway threshold.

"Why?! We were having a great conversation!”

"Hmm... Sergio, he has woken up."

"Oh! _Cuñadito_ , are you there?!”

Sergio blushed for a second when Raquel told Alicia that he was there, that he had woken up. But he brushed it off it immediately, they were together now, it was time for the world to know. So he took his glasses from the little table and went to sit next to Raquel, putting his arm around her shoulders, smiling at Alicia on the cell phone screen.

"Alicia, how’s the honeymoon?"

“Fantastic! Many recommendations for yours."

Raquel laughed out loud and Sergio shifted uncomfortably in his seat at Alicia's words.

"Well Alicia, I have to leave," Raquel said, "but we keep in touch, okay?"

"What? No! I want you to tell me everything about you two. Raquel, you know everything about me and Andres, come on, don't be prudish!”

"Bye, _cuñadita!_ ” Sergio waved his hand to Alicia and tapped to end the video call.

"You are so evil!" Raquel laughed and kissed him.

"Don't lie, you wanted to do that, too.” Raquel bit her lips to stifle her laughter, but it was impossible, she laughed out loud. "You see?" They laughed.

"I love Alicia, but sometimes she is too much!”

Then, Sergio went silent and stared at Raquel, the lines on his face softening, his eyes glistening.

"What?" Raquel smiled shyly.

"You are _so_ beautiful." He mumbled, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, then running the tops of his fingers down her cheek and tapping her nose stud with his index finger. He couldn't help but remember that night, and her beautiful face full of bruises and stained with blood, rekindling a little the enormous anger that he felt towards Alberto inside him.

Raquel's heart leaped. Not counting the time he was courting her, Alberto had _never_ told her that she was beautiful. He had never been this kind, gentle, and loving to her. For god’s sake, he hadn't given her an orgasm in years. But now with Sergio, in such a short time he was making her feel things that she had never felt. He was filling her in ways no one else had.

"What? Do you think I'm lying?" Sergio asked.

Rachel chuckled. "You have to stop being so sweet if you don't want me to fall in love." Raquel blurted, part joking, part serious. Sergio withdrew his arm from around her shoulders and pushed his glasses up his nose. Raquel could see how he was blushing. "I'm kidding!" She laughed and got up from the sofa, heading for the kitchen. "I know what _this_ is, Sergio." She said as she opened two beers that she had taken from the fridge. But it was just her way of diverting attention, of appearing nonchalant because she was feeling _too_ _much_ for a no-compromise relationship.

"I told you that free doesn’t mean cold." Sergio said, taking the beer that Raquel offered him.

"I know." Raquel replied, dropping onto the couch next to him, sitting on her legs and taking a long drink of beer. “Anyway, are you hungry? The truth is that I don't have much in the fridge. Just a few leftovers from the week."

"Well, I don't know about you, but that noise from above is drilling into my head." Sergio pointed to the neighbors' annoying noise, which hadn't stopped even a little bit.

"They will stop at any moment."

"Is it always like this?" Sergio frowned, almost disgusted.

“Not always, but yup, sometimes.” Raquel took another sip of her beer, “but I've learned to ignore it. Besides, they are really good neighbors and the children are adorable."

Sergio made a face, showing his clear annoyance. "I would’ve moved long ago, or at least called the police."

Raquel laughed, "You wouldn’t call the police on a pair of kids playing!”

"Playing? It seems they are bringing down the place!”

"Oh, we have a kid’s hater here!” Raquel teased.

"I'm not a hater!" Sergio pushed up his glasses. “I am just not a person who likes to deal with children.” He accentuated his point by gesturing with his hand and thumb. “I love my privacy and my silence. Children are very nosy and very loud.”

"Yeah, they are children!" Raquel pointed out the obvious.

"Well, I don't like children! At least not for me." Sergio responded a bit harshly, taking Raquel by surprise.

"Ooook? So you don't want kids?"

"No!" He frowned, "do you?"

Raquel inhaled deeply, running her finger around the spout of the beer bottle. " _No_. There was a time when I did, but now… _no_. Did you and your ex never think about children?”

Sergio stirred, “I… I honestly don't remember. I don't think we ever talked about it. Although it was the best, a child… children _tie_ too much.”

" _Tie_." Raquel repeated the word, as if wanting a re-confirmation, making sure she hadn't misheard it.

“Yeah, they are a lifelong commitment, _a tie_. I mean, you wouldn't have wanted to have been _tied_ to your ex for life through a child, am I wrong?"

A slap like the ones Alberto gave her would have been less painful than Sergio's words. Raquel was speechless. "Wow!" She exclaimed in disbelief, trying to hide her pain. "Are you always this blunt?"

“I-I Raquel, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, really. I didn't want this to come out this way, I was very harsh, really, forgive me!”

“No-no, it’s-it’s fine. A little… crude. And… yeah, a child with Alberto would have been something… difficult to handle right now, but for me, under the right circumstances, a child _joins_ people. Call me stupid if you want—”

“I’d _never_ call you stupid.” Sergio interrupted her.

“Call me stupid if you want… but it’s what I feel. You can't tell my upstairs neighbors that their children, who were conceived through IVF, are a _tie_. One doesn’t expect that a child, who is decided to have by mutual agreement, will become a problem in the future."

Sergio took Raquel's hands, looking into her eyes, extremely sorry. “Raquel, please forgive me. I swear I didn’t mean to offend you by bringing Alberto in all this." He begged earnestly. He felt like a bastard to have brought her ex into such a trivial conversation. "I didn't measure my words, please don't let this spoil this wonderful day."

“It’s fine,” Raquel assured him, squeezing his hands, “it’s okay, you have your position about children, I have mine, and they are both very respectable, it's not like we are planning to start a family!” She chuckled.

"Can we please start over? Let's start over from the part where I told you you are beautiful."

Raquel laughed, "No, let's start over from the part where I offered to go out to eat because I'm starving and my fridge is to cry.”

"It seems perfect. Choose the place, then.”

"No, you choose it now."

“Well in that case let's go to the Hanoi, it's a little restaurant near the university. You will like it."

"The Hanoi is then."

However, the rest of the day, Raquel couldn't shake that feeling of uneasiness from her. She wasn’t upset with Sergio for what he had said whatsoever. She knew and was aware that there was _no way_ for him to know what she had been through. But even so, his rawness had penetrated deeply.

She hated the idea of someone as innocent, sweet and pure as her boy being reduced to something as insignificant and inconvenient as a _tie_. A burden. She _never_ saw him like that.

She was so ecstatic when she got the news, she had never thought about having children, however, even if she was all pro choice, _her_ choice was not what many would have expected. She chose to have it. It seemed the right thing. She chose to have a baby with the man she _thought_ she loved at the time.

She was so blinded. Blinded by excitement, anticipation, and the new adventure that motherhood entailed. So blinded that she couldn't see Alberto's true colors until it was too late. But he knew how to pretend so well, there were times when he made her believe that he was _really_ excited and that he _really_ loved that baby as much as she did. He would lie back on the bed and tap and rub and kiss her baby bump, babbling nice words, hoping to get a kick. They never got one. Of course not. She could _never_ feel her boy move.

Even years later, he made her believe that he had ran away _that_ fateful day because he couldn’t bear the sadness and pain of seeing her suffer and knowing that their son was going to die. How could she not see that?! He had gaslighted her to the point of making _her_ feel guilty, making her doubt her own mind and sanity, her own feelings. Turning Miguel's death about _him_.

Late, very late that night, once Sergio was peacefully asleep, she was wide-eyed staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts and memories of the past didn’t allow her to fall into the unconsciousness of a deep sleep. A sleep so deep to not think. To not feel.

She closed her eyes and saw Miguel's tiny little face. She had been doing so well for the last couple of months. She hadn’t cried for his memory since that night when she opened her heart to Alicia and made the decision to break up with Alberto. She was afraid he was forgetting him. That everything that was currently happening in her life was taking her away from the memory of her son. She hated herself for a moment. She didn't want to forget him. She must not forget him. Because forgetting him would be as if he died forever.

Looking at the clock and realizing that it was after 4 in the morning, Raquel got out of bed and left the room, leaving Sergio to sleep. Not without first taking a white candle from the night before and taking it with her.

In the darkness of the night, the moon illuminated the window where she had the sculpture that Andrés had given her of the Archangel Miguel. She stood in front of it and stroked it, brushing the thin layer of dust that had accumulated on the surface. She lit the candle and placed it next to the sculpture. She wanted to do something else, but praying felt inadequate for her, it wasn't her thing. So she just sent a thought and a request to the universe. That wherever her little angel was found he would be happy and without pain. That here on earth, his mom would be thinking of him for the rest of her life, until it was time to join him…

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, it's been centuries. I hope you are still there 😬
> 
> It's been a chaotic few weeks, I think for everyone. Also, I had a little writer's block, but I hope it's ending now/soon.
> 
> Thank you very much for all your messages and kudos, they mean a lot to me 🥰I'll be answering the few remaining soon. It is very important to me to let you know personally how much I appreciate your words 🥺💜
> 
> As always, thanks to Em, not just for proof reading, but for her constant encouragement 💞
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, a bit of Ralicia, and Serquel, of course. We have officially entered the final part of this story, although there are still a few chapters ahead 😊

* * *

> _**Seasons, they will change, life will make you grow, death can make you hard, hard, hard...** _
> 
> * * *

**_5 years ago..._ **

It was a long, cold and lonely, very lonely hall. So white it pierced her eyes, and so aseptic that the smell of disinfectant and alcohol penetrated her nostrils.

Raquel walked at a slow but steady pace, her arms around her bump. Her entire body was quivering. Her hands were sweating. Biting her lips, a huge lump in her throat threatening to explode into a loud, heartbreaking cry of pain. She was going to go into one of those rooms with her son, but she would come out empty-handed.

Alicia and Mariví walked one step behind her. Both looking at the ground. None of them wanting to break the silence, fearing that if they did, they wouldn’t be able to fill it. There were no words for such a situation. Better to keep quiet.

Ahead of Raquel, a nurse guided them to her room. At one corner they turned right, and the hall was no longer so lonely. Although there was calm in the bustle, it was clear that there were people in every room. Mothers. Babies. The doors were decorated with cute signs with the names of the newborns.

_Lucia, 45cm, 2.8kg._

_Antonio, 47cm, 3.3kg_

_Amaia, 47cm, 3.5kg_

_Julia, 43cm, 2.5kg_

_Lucas, 53cm, 4.4kg_

Raquel turned to look at her mother, with an empty smile. "That Lucas is big!" Mariví nodded, trying to smile back at her daughter. "I like the name Amaia."

There was so much pain, so much emptiness and so much grief in Raquel's voice that Mariví didn't know how long she was going to be able to bear seeing her daughter like that.

Finally, they reached the end of the hall, outside the room where Raquel would give birth. Among new mothers, crying babies, and excited fathers; she would give birth to her son, who would hopefully live a few minutes, and without Alberto by her side.

"Excuse me, miss!” Alicia addressed the nurse, linked her arm with hers, and took her a few steps away from Raquel and Mariví. “Seriously?!"

The nurse looked at her confused, "what are you talking about?"

“Look around. You know that my nephew will not survive, why here?! Among mothers and babies, isn't there another room where my sister can give birth, in peace?!”

The nurse's expression softened, understanding the situation. “I understand, and believe me that if it depended on me I would take her away from this wing. But it's protocol, she will give birth, she has to do it in the OB wing. There is nothing I can do."

Not wanting to make a fuss, Alicia accepted the situation. She didn't want to upset Raquel even more than she already was.

"Inside there is a gown over the bed for you to change," the nurse told Raquel, "in a few moments the OB will come to start the induction."

Raquel looked at her with a deadpan expression, not saying a single word.

“We'll take care of settling her in," Alicia said, "thank you very much."

Alicia put her arm around Raquel's shoulders and they both entered the room, followed behind by Mariví. Suddenly, midway through, Raquel came to a halt, staring at the pediatric station with a little exam bed, covered with two super soft blue blankets. As well as a couple of small stuffed animals. Seeing this, Alicia immediately closed the curtain.

"Let's put your gown on, _mi amor_." Alicia whispered, walking Raquel to the bed and sitting her there.

Raquel took Alicia by the hand, looking at her with glassy eyes. "Your sister?" She mumbled with a sad half smile.

Alicia stroked her hair sweetly, placing a wave behind her ear. "We have known each other since we lost our first tooth, of course you are my sister.”

Raquel nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. But no matter how many times, time after time, she swallowed it, it didn't leave. It was there, ready to explode at any moment.

"Have you heard from Alberto?" Raquel asked.

Alicia and Mariví shared a look. They had tried, but since the second call attempt he had switched off his phone and at the station no one knew anything about him. Little did they know that precisely in those moments he was in bed with his lover.

"We have tried, _cariño_ ," Mariví replied, "but it seems that he is in a place with no coverage."

"He had to go out of town." Alicia added to the false story.

"Out of town?!” Raquel frowned.

"You know, that very important case that he had in hands since the last weeks, the Commissioner sent him out of the city. It seems they found great evidence.”

“B-but… why? The commissioner knew about this.” Alicia shrugged, giving her a helpless look.

“ _Corazón_ ,” Mariví sat next to her, taking her hand, “you know how these things are. But you have us!”

"And we are not going to leave you alone for a second." Alicia added, taking Raquel's other hand and Mariví's.

Raquel hugged her mother and Alicia and burst into tears, so full of pain, sorrow, loss and love.

No one said anything, there were no words that could compensate or even comfort the cry of a mother who was aware that as soon as her child was born, it was only a matter of minutes before he died. It would have been even inhumane to try to make her feel better.

It was a hell when the time came. It was hard and painful in every way. It was extremely sad. Raquel pushed her son out of her, yet she couldn't help but think that each push equaled pain for her little boy. Her heart broke with each push, she wanted everything to end, to stop the pain for her son.

When the baby was finally born, he was placed as comfortably as possible and delivered into Raquel's arms. She was terrified, she was afraid of hurting him even more.

"I don't want to hurt him." She sobbed at the nurse.

“Don't worry, _cariño_ , he's comfortable. No more pain for him."

And so she held him. Rocking him very, very gently. Tears streamed down her cheeks constantly and nonstop.

"I don't even have a name." Raquel cried without taking her gaze from her child.

"We can search for something now." Alicia suggested, taking her cell phone to look up names.

" _Miguel_." Mariví said.

"Miguel?" Raquel repeated, looking at her mother.

“Like Archangel Miguel. The leader of the armies of angels. The most powerful angel and protector of the world.”

Raquel smiled in her sadness and looked at her little angel. Still, tiny, not even the size of her forearm. His eyes closed, he had never opened his eyes, nor would he open them. His teeny tiny body was still colorless, reddish, more bone than flesh. Brittle bones, breakable bones. His features were still not very well defined, but for Raquel, he was the most handsome and prettiest baby that her eyes had ever seen.

“He wiggled his fingers!" Raquel sobbed when she noticed the faint movement of Miguel's hand. But then he was gone. Just 17 minutes after he was born, at 23 weeks, he was gone.

Raquel didn't want to let him go. She held him to her chest for several minutes after his death, while her mother, Alicia, and the nurses tried to convince her to let him go. But she only cried silently, her baby boy close to her, whispering him words that only the two of them could hear. She knew that the moment she let him go, it would kill her.

"It is time, _mi amor_." Mariví implored her daughter. "You have to let him go.”

After a few minutes, they managed to convince Raquel to hand over Miguel, and there she collapsed into her mother's arms in the most heartbreaking and animal crying that everyone in that room had ever heard. For Alicia the scene was overwhelmingly painful, she had to hide behind a curtain to cry.

The next day, Raquel left the hospital, in her arms, instead of a baby, a birth certificate accompanied by a death certificate. Multiple " _I'm sorry for your loss_ " ringing in her ears instead of “ _Congratulations!_ ”, and with an order to collect her son’s ashes instead of flowers and balloons. A part of her died that day. Raquel Murillo was not the same since then...

* * *

**_Present day..._ **

Raquel's eyes snapped open and the first thing she saw was the soft fabric of a pillow. She darted her eyes around and realized that she had fallen asleep on the sofa.

Closing her eyes again, and remembering how she had gotten there, she sighed and sat up. Every muscle in her body protesting angrily.

" _Good Morning_."

She startled and looked around, finding Sergio coming from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in each hand. He reached the sofa, handed her one cup of coffee and gave her a quick peck on her lips, and then took a seat on the couch across from her.

"Good Morning." Raquel groaned and gave a deep sniff of the steam emanating from the cup of coffee, followed by a little sip.

"You weren't in bed this morning." Sergio pointed out.

Raquel huffed, “how long have you been awake?"

"Not much."

"It's past 10 in the morning."

"I know, but I overslept."

"Too comfortable without me in bed?" Raquel teased.

"Not at all." Sergio chuckled. "But…"

"Why am I here?" Raquel anticipated his question and he shrugged. "Ángel called me last night, or well, very early this morning, after 5, to give me an important update on a case, I didn't want to wake you up."

"All good?" He queried.

"Yeah!"

But there was no conviction in her voice. There was something about her that told him there was something else she wasn't telling him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah!" She giggled. "Why?"

Sergio watched her carefully. “Raquel… I'm not blind… Ever since yesterday when we had _that_ conversation you have been a bit absent. Did I say something I shouldn't have? I apologized, I really didn't want to talk about Alberto… but I feel like there is something else, something that you are not telling me.”

The feelings built up in Raquel's chest. “I'm not hiding _anything_." She answered in a flat voice. "I don't know what you expect me to say, I told you everything yesterday."

"Raquel, it's just that I want you to feel safe—"

"Sergio!" Raquel snapped. “I told you yesterday, I know what this is. This is supposed to be easy, sexy, free… we had a little argument over something that in the end neither of us wants, why make it bigger?!”

Sergio ducked his head and pushed up his glasses with his thumb. "I just hate the idea of hurting you."

Raquel smiled. "Sergio... you didn't hurt me," she lied, what he had said had hurt her, but admitting it would also be putting him in context and telling him things that she had already decided that she was _never_ going to tell him. “Your answer just took me by surprise, that's all. Look... after what happened with Alberto I realized that I don't deserve to stay in a relationship that I don't feel, and so far this... this thing that we have feels good. But if one day I no longer feel it or I want things that you don't want... I will walk out of this, without second thoughts!”

Sergio looked at her with wide eyes and swallowed hard.

"It's what we both decided!" Raquel chuckled trying to sound nonchalant. “Isn’t it? Walk out of this anytime without hard feelings... the same goes for you. You can walk out of this when you don't feel it anymore."

“I don't want to walk out of this. _Not now_." Sergio declared looking straight into her eyes with a serious expression, making everything inside her shake. There was something so intimidating about his look when he got serious.

"I don't want that either." Raquel answered almost in a whisper without taking her eyes off him.

They were both disturbed by the doorbell. Raquel snapped out of her reverie and got up immediately to open the door. It was just a delivery man with a package. She took it, signed received, and closed the door.

As she turned around, Sergio was only inches from her, towering her with deep black eyes. In a snap of fingers her legs went weak. Carefully, he took the package from her hands and placed it on the table. Then he returned his attention to her, cupping her cheeks, and roaming his lips across her face, leaving her craving for a kiss.

”I don't want to walk out of this." He whispered and then kissed her neck.

"Then don't..." She sighed.

As soon as she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, they both knew what was coming. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his hips and he held her close to him. He took her to the bedroom, tossing her onto her bed making her squeal. They didn't even bother to close the door, they knew they were safe in the warmth and intimacy of that small apartment that had been their refuge for the past days.

That was the last discussion they had on the subject. Days and weeks went by and summer faded into fall. The green trees turned golden-brown. Hot days gave way to chilly nights and the perfect excuses to be closer and closer looking for heat. Excuses that neither Raquel nor Sergio missed.

Their relationship was going from strength to strength. They tried to keep it low profile for a while, but it was impossible, everything was written all over their faces, on their bodies. More than once Raquel cursed Sergio while covering the love marks on her neck with thick layers of foundation.

A permanent smile settled on her lips, she was brisky and more beautiful than ever. There was something in her eyes, in her smile that gave away the _fantastic_ moment she was going through in her life.

And the same thing happened with Sergio, even his students and fellow professors noticed it, there was something in him, even a spring in his step. He had never been a harsh or moody teacher, on the contrary, he was well liked among the students, but he always kept his distance and boundaries, but not so much lately. He loved staying at the end of class to talk to some of them about various things or to joke with them in class. It went without saying that _very_ good things were happening in his life.

"So you won't be here for Christmas?" Raquel asked Alicia with a discouraged voice while both video-called.

"I don’t think so." Alicia grimaced.

"Then we don’t even talk about my birthday."

“I swear I will send you your birthday present. We will be in Hong Kong around that time, it will be something beautiful, you'll see!”

“I don't care about birthday presents. I have so much to tell you... I miss you."

"I miss you more, _pequeña!_ ”

"Any plans to stop in Spain on your international honeymoon tour?"

Alicia laughed, "not at the moment, but I promise you that when we return you will be the first to know the day and time."

Alicia and Andrés had been honeymooning for months, and from the looks of things, they had no intention of returning anytime soon. Something that made Raquel equally happy and sad, she was happy to see her friend so happy and over the moon, but she also missed her like crazy.

She missed her hugs, her laughs, her teasing. She missed their deep conversations. The shopping days, which she hated, but Alicia loved. She missed brunch days, spending hours talking. Ever since they had known each other, neither had spent a Christmas or a birthday away from each other.

“ _Inspectora Murillo_." A policeman interrupted Raquel by knocking on the open door of her office. "Your coffee of the day." He showed Raquel the cardboard tray that he was holding in his hands.

"Oh, Antoñanzas, thank you, leave it here on my desk."

Antoñanzas did as Raquel asked, but he remained standing there by the desk, staring at the paper bag that came along with the coffee.

Raquel rolled her eyes, "ok, take one!"

Antoñanzas smiled widely and took a cookie from the paper bag. “Thank you, these cookies are delicious, they are the same as last week, aren't they? From the Hanoi!” Raquel looked at him expressionless. “Ok, ok, excuse me, _Inspectora_. Have a great day!”

"Yes, yes, bye Benito, please close the door when you leave."

"Who was it? Antoñanzas?” Alicia asked.

"Yeah. He came to bring me this,” Raquel showed Alicia, “he has become Sergio's messenger."

Alicia laughed, "What do you mean?!"

“Every day, every morning Sergio sends me a big cup of coffee and some tasty pastry or cookies. And Antoñanzas has been the one who has delivered them to me from day one."

"Oh, so you guys already made it official?!" Alicia shook her eyebrows, giving her friend a naughty look.

“Well not official, I mean, it wasn't like I put a sign on the bulletin board, let's just say it was something we left more… to the obvious. Sergio has been here on multiple occasions, likewise, I’ve been to the university campus, he sends me things practically every day, sometimes he comes to pick me up or I go to puck him up, I think it goes without saying that we are together.”

"I'm happy for you, for the both of you.”

Raquel smiled sheepishly, “yeah, I'm happy too, very happy, Alicia. Sometimes I'm so happy that... I don't know, it feels surreal."

“Why?!"

"It is something very long that I have to tell you."

"Well, tell me!"

“I said it's very long! Also, I'm on working hours. I won't tell you anything until you come back, it's something I want to tell you in person."

"Are you going to make me jump on a plane right now?!"

"If that means you’ll be back, then I don’t tell you anything."

" _Cabrona_!"

Raquel laughed. "But seriously... come back soon."

"I will.”

Both friends gave each other heartfelt words of goodbye and set the next day for the next video call.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Madrid, in the tranquility of his own office, Sergio couldn’t concentrate on the papers he was grading. His head was spinning trying to come up with a birthday surprise worthy of Raquel.

He thought of asking her closest friends for help, but he feared Alicia would run her tongue, and well, Ángel, he was sure he couldn't stand him. He thought of asking Mariví, but it was the same case as with Alicia. He wanted it to be a surprise, in every way. He wanted it to be something special and memorable. Maybe he had to take some risk if he wanted that to happen. So he picked up the phone…

* * *

On the day of her birthday, Raquel was awakened by a call from her mother. Mariví sang her happy birthday, told her a random anecdote from her childhood, reminded her how much she loved her and how proud she was of her and of being her mother. They both shed a few tears but agreed to meet on the weekend to go to brunch, just the two of them together to celebrate.

After the call was over, Raquel sat on the bed and smiled to herself. She didn't want to admit it, but she was dying of curiosity to know if, or what, Sergio had in store for her for this day. He was so good with gestures and details, even if they were small, somehow, he always made them memorable.

Not wanting to be late for work, Raquel jumped into the shower, put on her favorite black sweater, her gray pantsuit with her black high-heeled boots. She made her hair and feeling in the mood, she put on makeup and a bold red lipstick, some sprays of perfume and voila. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

Arriving at the station, everyone immediately gathered around her to congratulate her. Some gave her little gifts and others good wishes. When she opened her office door she found a cupcake on her desk, too beautiful to be eaten. She smiled widely, placed the gifts from her colleagues on a chair, then took the cupcake in her hands.

"Happy Birthday." She heard someone tell her from the door. Turning around she found Ángel in the doorway, opening his arms to her and with a gift bag in his hands.

"Hey!" She smiled and accepted his tight hug. "Thank you!"

"I hope you like it." He handed her the gift bag.

“I’m sure I will!”

"And the cupcake too."

Raquel was a bit confused, “t-the cupcake? It was you?"

"Yes, who else?"

"Oh!" She exclaimed, trying not to sound disappointed. She had sworn it had been Sergio. "I-I thought that—"

“That it had been Sergio?"

Raquel smiled nervously. “No offense but… yes. It happens that he always sends me some tasty pastry. I just assumed. But thanks! It's too cute, I don’t even want to eat it!”

“I had one this morning when I stopped by to buy it. You're going to lick your fingers."

"Surely I will!"

"So..." Ángel trailed off, "do you have any plans for today?"

"Huh... I don't know, Sergio and I still don't have anything planned, I don't know what time I'll get out of here."

"You look very happy." He pointed to the obvious joy and glow emanating from his friend, not just today, but for several weeks now.

“I'm _very_ happy, Ángel."

"Is he good to you?"

"Very."

"He better be." He said in a warning voice and Raquel chuckled. "Well, I’ll leave you to work, and if at the end of the day you don't have any plan, hit me up."

"I will. Thank you."

Throughout the day, Raquel was impatient. Waiting. She was waiting for a call, a message from Sergio, but nothing came. Neither messages nor gifts. _Nothing_. She was disappointed, very disappointed, she hoped that today, of all days, he would make it _extra_ special.

She tried to find dozens of explanations. Maybe he was just as busy as she was. Winter break was much closer than expected so the workload had probably increased. Not counting all the work in the winery, the poor man had just arrived last week from an unexpected trip to Chile and was still having a hard time with jet lag. Yes, it was probably that, it was what Raquel told herself.

Most at the station had finished their shift and were heading home. But Raquel didn’t know whether to do the same or call Sergio, what if he forgot her birthday? Probably, but still, not a whole day went by without him not sending her at least one message.

With a lump in her throat, Raquel turned off the PC, took her purse and her coat, turned off the lights in her office and left the station.

_"Inspectora Raquel Murillo?"_

An elegantly dressed man in a black suit and next to a fancy car called out to her as she left the station.

"Who asks?" Raquel frowned, a little apprehensive of the strange man.

"Mr. Sergio Marquina sent me." As soon as she heard Sergio's name, her heart skipped a beat, leaping on her chest with joy, her lips trembling in a grin.

The man opened the door of the luxurious car and made a sign with his hand, inviting her to go in. Without a second thought, she got into the car.

Inside, next to her seat was a large bouquet of flowers and a small white box tied with an equally white ribbon with a tag that read “ _¡Feliz Cumpleaños!_ ” in Sergio’s handwriting

Raquel removed the ribbon and opened the box. She wasn't going to lie if she said that she expected everything _but_ what she found there. But still, his little great details filled her with such joy that she couldn't help but laugh wholeheartedly.

Inside the box were a dozen of black pencils with short phrases like “ _Killin’ It_ ”, “ _LadyBoss_ ”, “ _Gettin ’shit done_ ”, “ _Genius at work_ ”, among others, written in gold letters. There was also a little red envelope. Raquel took it and took the white card from inside it, also with his neat handwriting.

_“To pin up your hair with style._

_With_ _all_ _my affection, Sergio.”_

Raquel laughed out loud. It was such a small detail, but as always, he took it upon himself to make it ultra special.

The driver drove Raquel through the streets of Madrid. She thought he would take her to Sergio’s apartment, or to one of their favorite restaurants, but when they entered one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the city, she soon became a little nervous. She was definitely _not_ dressed for dinner at one of the restaurants in that exclusive area.

They parked in front of a large, elegant building. Outside, another man opened the car door for her and offered his hand to help her out. With the flowers, the pencil’s box, her purse and her coat in her hands, she felt a little awkward. Taking a few seconds to settle everything, she finally followed the man who escorted her inside the building.

Raquel didn't understand anything, it was an apartment building, but it certainly wasn't where Sergio lived. But she would just go with the flow, whatever this surprise was, she was excited to find out.

The man escorted her to the elevator, pressed the PH button and exited, but not before wishing her happy birthday with a friendly smile, which made Raquel smile back. Then he handed her a white card with the numbers 4248.

“To open the penthouse’s door.” The man said and the elevator doors closed. 

Impatient, nervous, excited and fidgeting the card in her hands, Raquel waited for the elevator doors to open. When they finally did, she found herself in a small foyer. A large double door in front of her and a touch screen next to the door where she entered the code, causing the doors to open, revealing a _huge_ surprise.

_“¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!”_

Raquel wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, and so she did. She couldn't help it when she saw everyone gathered there. Sergio, her mom, Alicia and Andrés.

She immediately ran to hug her friend. Tight, tight, tight. She didn’t want to let her go. Both friends laughed and cried at their reunion on such a special date.

"I'm so happy to see you, I can't believe it, I can't believe it!" Raquel laughed and cried on Alicia's shoulder.

"Did you really think I was going to miss this day?!” Alicia replied equally excited.

Raquel pulled back, ran her hands over the face and the short red hair of her friend, as if making sure that she was real, that she was there. Then she hugged her tightly again.

Once the friends welcomed each other, they all offered their gifts to the birthday lady.

"Happy Birthday, _mi niña_.” Mariví hugged her, giving her more books, a coffee mug with her name on it and one of her knitted blankets. The perfect kit for those chilly autumn evenings.

Alicia on the other hand, showered her with gifts, one from each part of the world she had visited on her honeymoon. Andrés gave her a simple but beautiful, and expensive watch. "I hope you like it, _cuñadita!_ ” He told her after giving her a big birthday hug.

Then, when it was Sergio's time, she didn't see him anymore, suddenly, the lights went off, and he came out of the kitchen, with a cake in his hands with a few candles while he sang happy birthday to what the rest of the guests joined in such an intimate and special celebration.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles." Sergio told her once they finished singing.

Raquel looked him straight in the eye, and still looking at him, she blew out the candles on her cake. While everyone around them cheered and clapped, she and Sergio only had eyes for each other. Then he handed the cake to Alicia and took Raquel in a tight hug, lifting her slightly off the ground and turning her around, making her giggle.

"Happy Birthday, _guapa_." He whispered into her ear, breathing in the sweet smell of her perfume, then took her face and kissed her tenderly. "Did you like your surprise?"

"You organized all this?" Raquel asked and Sergio shrugged with a bright smile.

“It was so hard to keep it from you. I was fearing you would hate me by the end of this day.”

“I was a little mad, not gonna lie. But this surprise made up for it a million times.”

"He was losing his mind thinking of an appropriate birthday present.” Alicia said. “He called me in the middle of the night, asking for my advice!”

“It wasn't the middle of the night!” Sergio laughed.

“It was 4 in the morning in Maui!”

"Ok, sorry!” He apologized. “But this is not all." He added.

"There's still more?!” Raquel beamed in amazement.

Sergio took a package that was on the coffee table in the living room, wrapped in nice wrapping paper with a ribbon and gave it to Raquel. She, with the same enthusiasm of a child, undid the ribbon and tore the paper, gasping when she saw what was inside.

"You like it?" Sergio asked.

"Are you kidding?! I love it!" Raquel laughed as she looked at her gift that was nothing more and nothing less than a Van Morrison vinyls collection. "Thank you!" She thanked him again with a kiss.

“Ok, ok, ok!” Alicia exclaimed, "I have another surprise, not as good as those vinyls, but I hope you like it."

“Oh my gosh, but what is this? So many gifts!" Raquel could not believe so much love and so many gifts from her loved ones.

"Well, the surprise is," Alicia hugged Andrés and they both gave each other a quick kiss, "first, this in addition to a birthday party, this is our official homecoming, this is our new home!”

"Really?! It's beautiful, Alicia!” Raquel complimented the beauty of that luxurious apartment, very much like Alicia, she wouldn’t expect anything less from her, and from Andrés of course.

"And the second thing," Andrés continued, "is that our honeymoon is over."

"For now!" Alicia was quick to say and everyone laughed.

“Yes, for now, for now _amore mi_ o. Because we will be here until after the new year, we want to spend the holidays with you."

"Andrés, that's great!" Sergio said, happy to spend the holidays with his brother.

"Well let's toast to that!" Mariví suggested.

They all happily agreed and raised their glasses to toast Raquel, the new apartment and happy holidays all together. Then everyone came to the table to have a delicious dinner, and to eat the cake.

Raquel couldn't stop smiling when she saw everyone at the table, and Sergio couldn't stop smiling when he saw Raquel so happy. It was just what he wanted and intended with his birthday present. Seeing her happy. That was his main driver, her happiness. Seeing her smile and her bright eyes were his best reward. What he wouldn’t give to keep seeing that smile for many, many more years. Many more birthdays. Many more parties. Many more nights and days by her side.

"You look happy." Andrés pointed out, joining Sergio with two glasses of champagne on the terrace while inside, Alicia showed Raquel and Mariví photos and videos of her honeymoon.

Sergio smiled widely and took the glass from his brother's hand. "Is it that obvious?"

"Very. And it’s not hard to guess why." They both looked at Raquel through the large window.

"She's amazing." Sergio sighed without taking his eyes off Raquel, then he turned to his brother. “You look good, too. How are you? How is… you know, your illness.”

Andres chuckled and took a sip from his champagne glass, “I'm scaring death away. Look at me, do you think I look bad?”

"Not at all, that's why I pointed it out, you really look very good, Andrés."

“It's love, _hermanito_. You have no idea the power that love has, or maybe you do, but you are too blind to recognize it, or too stupid, you choose. Love is what makes you look so good, too. I even see a certain sparkle in your eyes and a spring in your step that you didn't have before.”

Sergio laughed dismissively. "Here we go again!” He rolled his eyes and drank from his champagne glass.

Andrés hugged Sergio by the shoulders and turned him towards the window again. "Look at her. Look at Raquel. Look at all of her, her hair, feel it between your fingers. Her lips, feel them on your lips. Her laugh, she has a beautiful laugh! Feel her skin under your fingertips. Her voice. Her mind. Her heart. All of her. Now look at me,” Sergio did, "tell me in the eyes that you are not in love with Raquel."

Sergio darted his eyes on Andres's face as he looked at him with his trademark smile.

"You love her." Andrés said, more like a statement.

“I… what Raquel and I have…” Sergio stuttered.

" _Guys_!" Raquel interrupted them from inside, walking towards them “We'll play Monopoly, will you join us?!”

"Of course, _cuñadita!_ ” Andrés exclaimed with exaggerated joy. "You know? You are my favorite sister-in-law."

Raquel didn't know what to say, so she just giggled, looking at Sergio for help.

"Andrés!" Sergio said in a warning tone.

“Anyway!" Andrés sighed. “I want the top hat token. Ready to lose? I'm very good at Monopoly.”

"Go inside." Sergio pushed him slightly from behind. “We’ll catch up with you right away."

Once Andrés was back inside, Sergio closed the sliding window and grabbed Raquel by the hand, taking her towards another part of the terrace, out of sight of everyone inside. He placed her arms around his neck and kissed her fervently. Raquel hugged him tightly, letting herself be carried away by his hot kiss.

"Raquel." Sergio looked into her eyes, his nose almost touching hers “are you happy?"

Raquel frowned at the randomness of his question, "why are you asking me that?!”

“I just want to be sure that I'm making you happy, all things considered… you know. I want to know that you don't feel that you are missing something, that I’m holding you back from your _absolute_ happiness.”

Raquel smiled understandingly. “Sergio, we had already talked about it. If I'm here, it's because I want to, because I want to be with you, all things considered. You make me _very_ happy. As happy as I haven’t been in years.”

Sergio adjusted his glasses and stared at her, while he breathed deeply. Raquel noticed there was something he wanted to say, but it was getting stuck inside him. She feared that it was him who wasn't happy.

"Are you not happy?" Raquel asked with a hint of uncertainty and fear.

"No! Raquel, don't think that, I'm _very_ happy, what we have… it feels good and makes me very happy. But, I saw you with Alicia, how you smiled as she told you about her honeymoon.”

"Oh, is that!” She smiled relieved. “No one here wants a wedding, do you?" She teased, "first we would have to be in love to get married!"

Sergio laughed and shook his head. "Let's go play, come on."

But there was no turning back. As usual, Andrés’s words had sown within him a seed that would only grow and grow. Making him doubt his words, his choices and what he wanted for the rest of his life...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are really, really, really appreciated 🥺👉🏼👈🏼


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still there?! 👀
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, but thank you very much if you are still reading this, it means a lot!! 💜
> 
> It's a long chapter, I hope you like it, some moments domestic Serquel (I hope you don't mind) and just to warn you, from now on things will be a...🎢 haha 
> 
> Also, this chapter contains a few clues about what is coming in the next chapters/the rest of the story 👀 Let's see if you catch them!!
> 
> I am already working on the next chapter so i *really* hope this time it doesn't take that long to update.
> 
> Thank you so much to Em for always cleaning up my messy spelling 😘
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think, please!! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

> _**Apriétame la mano, que siempre sea verano, que nuestro amor no dependa de las veces que nos digamos "** **te amo** " **...** _

* * *

She was walking down the lonely sidewalk. Inhaling cold air and exhaling vapor. The mid-January winter biting at her nose and cheeks, tinting them pink-red. She tucked the thick knitted scarf around her neck and hugged herself, hugging along the large bouquet of white lilies that she carried in her arms. One step followed another, the thin layer of snow crunching underneath her boots with each of them, until she was at last where she was headed, at the cemetery gates.

Raquel stopped outside, by the entrance gate looking in, the great main corridor flanked by white-covered tombs and in the background, the mausoleum with the niches, where _he_ was. She swallowed and a chill jolted down her entire body.

She had missed Miguel's fifth birthday. As she had missed the 4th, the 3rd, the 2nd and the 1st. She hadn’t returned to that place since the day she went to leave her child there. She couldn’t, it was physically impossible for her to cross the entrance gates, walk the long central corridor to the mausoleum and stand in front of the niche that contained her son’s ashes. _She couldn’t_.

Raquel hoped that this time it was different, but it wasn’t. Her feet were like glued to the ground and her body was tense, but her jaw was trembling.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" The doorkeeper approached her and asked politely.

Raquel opened her mouth to reply but her words didn't come out of her. After a few seconds, she handed the bouquet of lilies to the doorman and without saying a word she turned around and walked quickly away from there.

She got to her car and got into it, breathing fast, as if she had just run a marathon. She leaned her head against the steering wheel and closed her eyes tightly. Hating herself, and apologizing to her son at the same time. However, she didn’t cry. She was completely and utterly dry and defeated inside. No amount of tears would bring her son back, and no amount of tears would fix the way she (thought) had failed him.

After a while in complete trance where her mind was submerged in the darkness of grief, her cell phone went off. She took it from her coat pocket and looked at Sergio's name flashing on the screen accompanied by a photograph of both of them that Alicia had insisted on taking of them on Christmas, kissing under a mistletoe. One corner of her lips lifted up in an attempt to smile, though not quite so. Still, she answered the call.

"Hey." Raquel mumbled hoarsely.

"Raquel, are you okay?" Sergio asked immediately, feeling, even on the other end of the line, her gloominess.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, I hear you a bit... strange."

"Oh, it's a cold, I think I'll come down with a cold." She answered nonchalantly and sniffed. It was _partly_ true though, she was starting to feel the first signs of a terrible cold.

"You need something? Do you want me to come to your apartment? Do you want me to call a doctor? Do you want a personal nurse?"

Raquel chuckled in a sigh. "Calm down, Sergio, it's just a cold, not a deadly virus!"

"I'm almost done with my classes today, I can go to your apartment, I can make you some delicious chicken soup, and we can snuggle up to watch movies."

“As tempting as the offer sounds, I'm afraid I can’t, I have to go back to the station, I just went out to… to run some errands. How about this weekend tho?”

“I am already looking forward to it. And by the way, I have something to tell you."

"Something to tell me? Is it bad?" She asked, immediately jumping to fatal conclusions.

"No, no, not at all, on the contrary, it's a very good thing!”

"Tell me then.”

"In person. See you tonight?"

"Yeah."

“ _Vale_. _Un beso_. Bye!”

“ _Un beso_."

In his office, Sergio sighed contentedly thinking of Raquel's reaction to his proposal. He just hoped that this time _nothing_ would come between them and his plan of a few days away.

“¿ _Profesor_?” He heard someone tap softly on the half-open door of his office. He looked up and that someone opened the door and peaked in. "Do you have a minute?"

It was Andrés.

Sergio smiled at his brother. It was very rare for Andrés to show up at the university, he could count the times he had done it, two or three times.

"Andrés! Come in, come in, what are you doing here?!” Sergio greeted his brother and invited him to come into his small office.

Andrés came in, looking around. Nothing to do with his former office in the winery in Milan. Office that Sergio still did _not_ occupy.

"I didn't remember this place being so..." Andres trailed off, thinking of an appropriate word, “small." He said, with a slight scowl of disdain.

“I spend very little time here, I don't need more space. Besides, I like it, it's small, but it's my space and everything I need."

“And that?" Andres questioned, pointing to the three small pots of plants that Sergio had in the windowsill close to his desk.

“Raquel gave them to me. To give a little more… color to this place."

"I love her!” Andrés scoffed, continuing to look around.

"But what are you doing here?" Sergio asked, beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable at the judging gazes from his older brother. He was quite a snob, of course his little office seemed insignificant to him.

"Won't you offer me at least a coffee?" Andrés eyed him. ”It's fucking freezing outside!”

Sergio shook his head and put the coffee maker on. Once ready, he poured two cups and took a seat next to his brother by the desk.

“Andrés, in all my years that I have been teaching, you have only showed up here two or three times, what are you doing here? Something tells me you want something.”

“Actually, yes, I do want something. I want to give you this." From the inner pocket of his coat, Andres took out a long envelope of thick cream-colored paper, sealed with a red stamp, and handed it to Sergio.

"What is this?" Sergio frowned and looked at the envelope as if it were an offense.

"My will." Andres said flatly. Sergio's blood ran cold until he saw the huge cynical smile of his brother. "I'm kidding!”

"You're an idiot." Sergio grunted.

Andres laughed. “Relax, if things go the way they are going so far, you won't see my will anytime soon. It is the invitation to the annual spring ball of the Chamber of Commerce."

Sergio rolled his eyes and sighed. "I can’t go. I‘ll be busy."

"I haven't told you the date, yet!"

“Spring ball. I'm pretty sure it will be in March or April."

"Last week of March."

"See? I can’t go." 

“Sergio, it's only _one_ night! What will you miss in one night? Grade papers? Watch a boring Anthony Quinn movie?"

"I have a life, Andrés!" Sergio snapped. "Believe it or not I have a life, and... and a relationship." He adjusted his glasses nervously at his own statement. "Raquel and I have plans, I am _not_ going to cancel them for a night among haughty and stuck-up people, a plate of cold dinner and overpriced liquor.”

For a fraction of a second, Andrés was a bit taken aback by his brother's reaction. He was always ready and available for _any_ favor he had to ask from him. Perhaps it was the habit of knowing that he had no social life beyond the university and the winery. But now there was Raquel, of course in his spare time she was his priority. He had incited him so much to give himself the chance of a relationship, that now that he was actually doing it, he had no right to ask him to put it aside for him.

"Sorry, Sergio. You're right, you have a life, sorry for not contemplating that first." Andrés apologized wholeheartedly. "I just... now you are the CEO of Fonollosa enterprises, the invitation came in your name, you are the face of the company now."

"You know I hate these kinds of events."

“C’mon! It's just one night. Don't you feel like going with Raquel to a fancy dinner, all dressed up?"

"I'm not sure that Raquel likes this kind of environment either."

"Invite her. Alicia and I will go, too. Come on, let's go and have a good time the four of us.”

“Weren’t you guys going to go back to your honeymoon after the holidays?"

Andrés shifted in his seat and crossed his right leg over his left. "No, we have decided to stay here, we are tired of traveling." He answered without delving further into the reasons. "So... are you coming or not?"

Sergio sighed heavily. Although the idea of dressing up and having a place to go with Raquel did _not_ entirely displease him, what he didn’t like was the idea of going to a party with these kinds of people. Rich, arrogant and smug people, silent wars of power to see who wears the most expensive suit and whose company is the most successful. All while the women give each other hypocritical smiles followed by a sneer as soon as they turn around. He didn't want to bring Raquel into such an environment.

"I'll think about it. I'll talk about it with Raquel and if she wants to go, I'll go.”

“You are head over heels." Andrés smiled mischievously causing his brother to roll her eyes again.

"Is not that. But, I know Raquel, and I know that's not her scene. I don't want to take her to a place where probably she won’t feel comfortable.”

"I get it. But think about it, I feel like it will be a great night. And fuck the rest, the 4 of us are having our own party at the party.”

Sergio chuckled, "I'll talk it over with Raquel."

"Perfect! Well _hermanito_ , I'm afraid I have to go, I have to get ready, Alicia and I are going to an art gallery opening tonight, I have to look my best."

"Have fun there." Sergio wished his brother.

"Do you and Raquel have any plans for tonight? You can come with us if you want."

"We do have plans. But thanks." Sergio declined his brother's offer politely.

Andrés wiggled his eyebrows at his brother. "Plans?"

"Plans." Sergio repeated without being able to contain the huge grin on his lips.

“Be careful, or when we least expect it, we will have a mini Marquina running around. _¡Adios, hermanito!_ ” Andrés left the office before his brother scolded him for his unfortunate comment.

However, without realizing it, Sergio found himself smiling even wider at his brother’s words.

Andrés left Sergio's office, already shrugging, expecting some curse, but surprisingly, he didn’t get any. He knew it. There was no turning back for his little brother and that made him immensely happy. He deserved to love and be loved without doubts, and eventually, he was going to need a support system when the time came.

He walked the halls of the university, unable to help but laugh internally at the tired faces of the students, back to class after winter break. God, it was so long since he had been through the same, sleepless nights writing essays, running from classroom to classroom with a half-eaten muffin in hand, strict teachers not letting him into class because he was _one_ minute late, and also the cool teachers, whom he remembered fondly.

After going through the entire complex of buildings, Andrés finally reached the parking lot. When he heard someone call his name.

" _Andrés?!_ "

He turned around, and his heart leapt for a split second when he saw who it was. It was Ágata. Vastly different from the last time he had seen her, but her pretty and peculiar features made her unmistakable.

She was no longer that scruffy student with tousled hair, basic clothes and sneakers that had seen better days. She wore a chunky sand color sweater with an oversized high-neck half-tucked in her fitted pearl white trousers, white heels and white coat, shoulder-length hair in soft waves, subtle makeup and an emerald green Birkin that contrasted her neutral outfit. Andrés wasn't going to lie, he was impressed, not even at 1 degree she sacrificed style.

“Andrés!" Ágata called his name again, smiling at him as if they were the best friends ever, reuniting after years of not seeing each other.

"Ágata, what a surprise." Andres said in a flat voice when she was in front of him.

"I know. It’s been years!”

"Indeed."

"What are you doing here?!” She asked, something from the jovial student still in her voice and in her eyes.

Andrés didn't know whether to tell her that he had gone to see Sergio. Seeing the shameless way she approached him, he feared that she was going to do the same and break into Sergio's office. Seeing her now was the least he needed in his life. Or more like seeing her. Period.

”What are _you_ doing here?" He returned the same question.

She chuckled. “I'm back in Madrid and well, in the move I lost some documents, my diploma among them and I would like to replace it, mainly for sentimental reasons.”

“I see. And, where have you been? If you don't mind me asking."

"I had been in Nairobi as the second financial VP of a Spanish company, but I was promoted a month ago here, so my husband and I came back to Madrid."

"Your husband?" Andrés asked with a deep frown.

"I..." Agata looked around, hesitantly and a little pained. "Yeah, I got married 6 months ago." Andrés looked at her with a deadpan expression. "I heard you got married, too!” She added to ease the tense moment.

"Yes, 6 months ago, too."

"I'm glad for you."

"Thank you."

Silence.

"How... how is..." She trailed off, but Andrés knew who she was referring to.

He was speechless. After what she did, how dare she ask about his brother. Andrés huffed in disbelief.

“He's fine, Ágata. Better than ever I would say. I had never seen my brother as happy and complete as he is now. _Never_." Andrés noticed how Ágata's jaw trembled slightly as she swallowed an intruding lump in her throat.

"I'm glad." She said almost in a whisper.

“Are you?"

“Of course I am!” She grimaced, Andrés just narrowed his eyes at her. “I knew that - I knew that now he is the CEO of your wineries."

“You knew? How?" Andrés asked her, a bit defensively.

"It's the business world, Andrés." She answered in an obvious tone. “It’s like Hollywood, you always know someone who knows someone. News travels fast.”

"Well yes, he is."

"So... is he in Italy now?”

“Ágata, I don't mean to be rude, but my brother's whereabouts are none of your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a very busy day. It was…” He wasn't going to say it was _good_ to see her, because it hadn't been. "It was _unexpected_ to see you again."

Andrés gave her a last slight bow with his head, and walked past her towards his car.

"Andrés, wait!" Ágata called him again. He just turned his head towards her. “I am _so_ sorry." She said in a watery voice.

“It’s not me who deserves an apology. But keep it to yourself, he won't want to hear it after all these years. And he doesn't need it either."

* * *

Once he was completely free from the day’s obligations, Sergio went to buy some dinner to surprise Raquel and headed to her building. He was waiting outside her apartment for her to open the door with a huge grin on his face, a grin that already seemed something permanent in him. But when she opened the door, his smile faded a little when he noticed how sick she looked.

"Raquel, are you okay?" He asked, worried, walking into her apartment placing the dinner he had brought on the coffee table where he noticed a cup of half-drunk tea, crumpled tissues and a hot water bottle.

“You should go home. A cold from hell is hitting me, I wouldn't want to infect you.” Raquel replied in a throaty voice, then sneezed.

Sergio smiled, “you will be very happy to know that it’s very rare for me to get sick. I don't remember the last time I caught a cold!”

"No, I actually hate you,” Raquel scowled, “I get sick very easily."

Sergio chuckled and side hugged her, leading her back to the sofa where she was apparently resting. He helped her lie down again, he placed the blanket over her and tucked it under her jaw.

"Hand me that thing, please." Raquel pointed to the hot water bottle. "That time of the month." She cleared when she saw his face of confusion, then placed the bag on her belly. "I feel like hell." She complained.

Raquel wasn't a person who complained easily, so she surely did feel like hell itself. Sergio went down on one knee next to her, and brushed the hair from her face.

"Did you call the doctor?” He asked her in a soft voice.

Raquel shook her head. "It's just a cold, it will pass in two or three days.” She sneezed again.

“I don't want to see you sick for another minute. I'll stay here and take care of you _and_ I will call the doctor.”

"Okay!" Raquel exclaimed in a false annoyance. Deep down it made her feel giddy the way he worried for her.

Sergio smiled and caressed her cheek with the top of her fingers, feeling relieved when he didn't notice any signs of fever. "Are you hungry? I brought you dinner.”

"What did you bring?"

“Hmmm… many things, but among them your favorite cream spinach soup."

“The one from the little restaurant near here? The one served on rustic bread and topped with cheese?" She smiled queasily.

Sergio nodded, "the same."

"I take it back, I don't hate you."

He laughed, “I knew it. Well, I'll go reheat everything, do you need me to get you something else?"

"Can you get me a glass of water?"

"Of course."

Before getting up, Sergio gave repeated kisses to Raquel's forehead, then he went and brought her glass of water, returning to the kitchen to reheat what he had bought for dinner. He reheated the soup, served it on the round rustic bread and topped it with _lots_ of cheese, just the way Raquel liked it, then served his own and carried the food out to the living room. While Raquel ate dinner, he took the opportunity to call the doctor.

* * *

"You have to tell him!" Alicia hissed, as if not wanting anyone to hear her, angrily throwing her purse on the sofa.

"No." Andrés answered firmly, closing the door behind him after the couple arrived from the art gallery.

"Andrés, he's your brother, that woman hurt him deeply, what if one of these days he runs into her unexpectedly?!”

"He didn't run into her all these years."

"BECAUSE SHE WASN'T LIVING IN THE FUCKING COUNTRY!" She yelled in exasperation.

Andrew sighed sharply and took Alicia by her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "I can’t. Sergio is doing so well lately, he and Raquel are so happy, I can't do this to him, what good would it make? What’s done is done! It wouldn't fix anything! Rather, it would only hurt him and might even hurt Raquel in the process."

“What if it doesn’t? It can give him closure!”

“He already had his closure. Now I want him to be happy."

Alicia sighed heavily, she knew he hadn't had his closure, he never did, Raquel had told her. "You said it yourself, that he refused to have a relationship because of everything that had happened with Ágata."

"That was before, now he is with Raquel."

“But look under what conditions! He can't fully commit, have you wondered why?!”

"I haven't asked myself, I know why, and it has nothing to do with Agata."

“You have to admit that as much as you love your brother, you don't know everything that is going on in his mind and in his heart. I bet you that to this day, even as happy as he is with Raquel, he _needs_ closure."

“Don't insist any more, Alicia. I will _not_ say anything to Sergio!”

"As you wish." Alicia answered acidly and turned around, taking the cigarettes and lighter from her purse and going out onto the terrace to have a smoke.

* * *

A couple of days later, still a little groggy from the medicine and the virus that still didn’t leave her body one hundred percent, but it could be said that Raquel was already practically on the other side. Now she and Sergio were enjoying a chilly Friday night at home.

Both had their eyes glued to the screen watching the movie, neither said anything, the tension of the plot had them gaping and almost on the edge of their seats.

"WHAAAT!" They both yelled as the final titles rolled up on the screen.

“I-I..." Sergio stuttered after several seconds of silence, "that- that was..."

"Yeah... mind blowing." Raquel added, still shocked by the plot twist at the end.

"What's the name of the movie, again?"

“ _Un illustre inconnu_. It’s French."

“It's _really_ good!” Sergio exclaimed, still trying to wrap his mind around that ending.

"Ángel recommended it to me, he told me that it was going to blow my mind, and I see that he was absolutely right."

“Ángel? Huh!”

Raquel rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Shut up! Don’t be jealous."

"I am not!" Sergio replied, almost offended.

"Ok, ok, you are not."

"I'm not. I just wouldn’t think these are his kind of movies.” He said in a raspy voice very close to her ear, he took one of her legs and pulled it towards him, caressing it up and down and then placing his hand on her hip.

"Uh, no!" Raquel stopped him when she saw that he was getting closer and closer to her face. "No kisses on the mouth until I’m bug free."

Sergio groaned and pulled back. "Are you serious?! Do you know how many germs are transmitted in just _one_ regular kiss?"

“I have no idea, nor do I want to know. But I already told you, I find it disgusting to kiss you on the mouth while I'm still sick!”

"You're not even that sick anymore!"

“ _No_ _kisses_.” She replied leaving no room for complaints. “Better tell me, the other day, when we talked on the phone, you wanted to tell me something and with my cold drama you didn’t tell me anything, what was that you wanted to tell me?"

Sergio smiled widely, “oh that… Well, it's two things, actually. First, I was thinking the other day, how our two trips to Italy have been unexpectedly interrupted and we haven’t had the chance to enjoy each other like that, just the two of us, walking in a beautiful city. So I thought, why don't we go a few days away again? The third time's the charm."

Raquel's brown eyes sparkled with excitement. "Really?! And where do you want us to go?!”

“I don't know, I was hoping we would decide it together. I thought it could be early-mid March, before the tourist chaos of Holy Week and Easter."

Raquel sighed excitedly. "Well, I don't know, we can go to Italy again, how about Venice?"

"Venice sounds good. Or, we can go to France." Sergio suggested. "What about Paris?"

"Paris." Raquel smiled at the name of the beautiful city.

"The city of lights." Sergio said.

"And of freedom."

"And... love."

Raquel flushed. "Would you believe I have _never_ visited Paris?”

"No way!"

"Really! Whenever Alicia or my mom and I planned to go, something came up that we had to cancel the trip."

"Well, I think it's decided. Paris.”

“No, wait… yes, I would _love_ to go to Paris, but… what if we save it for a fall trip?" Sergio frowned. “Yes, you see, it will sound ridiculous but I have this idea in my head that the first time I go to Paris I want it to be in the fall, you know, beautiful sunsets, brown trees, flying leaves, chilly wind but not cold. I don’t know." She shrugged, founding her idea of her dream trip to Paris somewhat ridiculous, cliche and cheesy now saying it out loud.

Sergio noticed it, and took her dainty hands in his, smiling warmly at her, "Your plan for Paris sounds like the perfect plan, so we already have a trip for the fall, now, let's plan our spring trip."

Raquel gave him a smile accompanied by a hand squeeze. "What about Florence? But not the ex-monastery, but the city!"

"Sounds _very_ good to me, Florence is beautiful."

"Then Florence."

"Florence it is."

"And another thing... no private jets, no luxurious apartments, no drivers, no servants, no such luxuries."

And there was his invitation to the lavish spring ball. "None of those luxuries.” He repeated and pushed up his glasses.

“Don't take me wrong, anyone would love those things, I have enjoyed them myself, but I want this time to be just you and me, cheap flights, maybe an airbnb, walking around the city with comfortable shoes, a camera and a map in our hands, two simple tourists in Florence. Let's leave all of the above for the _Plan París_.”

"You really should be a travel advisor, you have the perfect ideas for a trip." Sergio took her by the face and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Sergio!" Raquel squealed and wiped his mouth with her hand.

"Can you relax? You're not going to make me sick!" He again took her by the face and captured her lips in a hungry kiss after having been banned from them for the last few days. "God! I missed your lips so much." He sighed against those lips that he had both craved and missed having between his.

"You are so gross!" Raquel laughed but she kissed him again.

* * *

Just over a month and a half later, the day had finally arrived for their long-awaited and anticipated trip to Florence. Raquel ran from one side to the other of her apartment, from her bedroom to the bathroom, from the bathroom to the living room and back to her bedroom, getting everything ready, it would only be 4 days, but her suitcase looked like a 4 months trip.

She was brushing her teeth while trying to fit one more pair of shoes, "just in case", her suitcase was more full of "just in case" items than items that she knew she was actually going to need _and_ use. But it was better safe than sorry.

A few seconds later, the doorbell rang, she knew it was Sergio. She looked at the clock. Fuck! They should be on their way to the airport by now, she ran to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth, and then ran to open the door.

"Ready to go?!” Sergio arrived with a big smile, but that was not what made Raquel smile equally or more widely, but _all_ of him, his entire outfit. She had _never_ seen him dressed like this. He had taken the “mere tourists” very seriously. He wore a basic black t-shirt, denim jeans, black sneakers and a light black jacket. "Raquel? The taxi is waiting for us!”

Raquel shook her head slightly. Damn, he looked so hot, she would take care of him later. "Yeah, I’m-I’m ready... almost." She smiled coyly at him.

"We have to go now, the flight leaves in less than two hours, but you know that they close the boarding gates almost half an hour before."

"Yes, yes, I know. Why not while you take my suitcase to the taxi, I put on my shoes and brush my hair?”

"Your hair is perfect." Sergio said and gave her a quick kiss on his way inside the apartment to take her suitcase. "Raquel, we are only going for 4 days!" He exclaimed when he saw _and_ weighed her suitcase.

"You never know!" Raquel justified herself.

"So much for simple tourists.” Sergio scoffed.

“Shut up! What if we decide to go to a nice restaurant for dinner?"

"Low budget tourists don’t go to nice restaurants.” He mocked. “And even if they go, they go with their worn-out shoes and dirty clothes after a day of walking around the city."

"Just... go get the suitcase to the taxi." Raquel responded annoyed. "I'll be down in a minute."

When Raquel finally got down, Sergio hurried her into the taxi, they were already almost half an hour late for the airport.

"What took you so long?!"

"Sorry! I was just… I was getting the last details ready.”

"It's a 4 days trip, Raquel, you won't need half of the things you packed."

"Never mind, just let's drop this and let's focus on this weekend, okay?"

Sergio shook his head with a smile. "By the way, you forgot something."

"What?!"

Sergio handed her a box. She took it, feeling giddy, she was never going to get used to his grand gestures. Opening the box she found a Polaroid camera along with plenty of films to print photographs and a very practical case on a strap, perfect to carry it and always have it at hand during their walk around Florence.

"We have to save those moments."

"I can't wait to be there." Raquel replied with a sincere smile.

Then they ran through the airport to the boarding gate so as not to miss their flight and after a swift journey of around two hours, they were finally in Florence. They were ecstatic, this trip was so different from the one they had made to the villa. The circumstances were different, the reasons were different, _they_ were different. Now, they were together, and there was nothing they wanted more than a few days of joy and walking the streets of Florence hand in hand, for everyone to see.

There were still some traces of winter hanging in the air, the crispy wind caused them one or two shivers, especially to Raquel, an opportunity that Sergio took advantage of to wrap her in his arms and walk the old and beautiful streets while he told her some historical fact.

"Stay still." Sergio commanded Raquel at one of the stops they made at the _Ponte Vecchio_. He took the camera and shot a photo.

"Let me see!" Raquel asked excitedly while Sergio shook the polaroid to reveal the picture and then handed it to her once it was ready. It was beautiful, Raquel’s profile framed by sunlight and her hair like strands of caramel waving from her shoulders down her chest. “Sergio, it’s beautiful!” She gasped.

Then, Sergio gently snatched the Polaroid from her hands, "but this is for me!" He then tucked it into the small pocket of his t-shirt. Raquel beamed and pecked on his lips. "Wait here." He asked.

"Where are you going now?" Raquel frowned.

“I'll be back in a sec, wait here, don't move!” Without further explanation, Sergio turned around and walked across the bridge through the sea of people.

Raquel's jaw dropped, watching as he walked away from her. She sighed and rolled her eyes, what was this man going to do now? Wonders never ceased with him. She leaned on the edge of the bridge, smiling to herself looking at the river that ran steady, calm and unhurried, just like their relationship.

" _Surprise_." Suddenly, a huge cone of gelato appeared in front of her eyes.

"Sergio!" Raquel giggled, taking the cone from his hands and giving a quick lick to a couple of drops that dripped down it, “how—"

"I saw how you saw each person we came across eating a gelato."

Raquel could not suppress the overwhelming wave of feelings that a simple cone of gelato sent through her. But no, it was more than that. More than the gelato, more than the camera and the trip and all the great gestures. It was _him_ , how all that came from him and how he was _so_ attentive and observant to the smallest details of her. The spontaneous way, so warm and so delicate with which he did things aroused feelings that she believed she wasn’t capable of feeling.

"Hey, Raquel, what's wrong?" Sergio asked her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear when he saw how her eyes filled with tears.

"Sorry!" She laughed wiping away the stagnant tears that didn't roll out of her eyes. She then looked him in the face. God! What she felt for him was overflowing inside her. How she wished she could kiss him and tell him _I LOVE YOU_. But this was not _that_ kind of relationship. Still, she circled her arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly and tremblingly.

"You taste like chocolate." Sergio murmured against her lips. She smiled and pulled back, taking another big lick of her gelato. "Let's go." Sergio took her free hand. "There is still a lot to see."

Raquel followed him and they both walked holding hands appreciating their surroundings and rejoicing in each other's company. They would swing their joined hands and share a wide smile when their eyes met. She would lay her head on his shoulder from time to time. He would place his arm gently around her waist.

After a long first day of walking, they looked for a small outdoor restaurant to eat near _Palazzo Vecchio_. Raquel took a table while Sergio excused himself to the toilet.

It was such a beautiful afternoon even though it was starting to get cloudy and the cold that announced the coming sunset was beginning to shake a little on the spine.

Raquel looked around her, despite not being her first time in Florence, it was the first time that she was really seeing _and_ enjoying the city.

She looked at the tourists, having as good a time as she was, some locals pushing past them with a frown on their brows. Suddenly, her gaze fell on a little boy playing with bubbles that her mother was blowing at him. The little one jumped, shrieked, laughed, and clapped with each new round of bubbles his mother blew to him. Inevitably, her mind traveled to Miguel.

Raquel swallowed the lump in her throat. That little boy was the same age as hers would be. She couldn't help but wonder what he would be like now, if he would be a happy boy. Surely he would, because regardless of Alberto, she would make sure to bathe him with _all_ the love in the world and make him the happiest boy.

"Do you want bubbles, too?" Sergio came back from the toilet and found her staring at the little boy who was playing with the bubbles.

Raquel smiled at him in the midst of her little episode of sadness, thinking that she would never have that with her child. But she shook off the feeling, it had been such a good day and they still had 3 days left. She didn’t want to ruin them with her gloominess.

“Would you get me some?" She asked him, getting closer to him flirtingly.

Sergio came close to her too, just inches from her face. “I would. I would blow bubbles behind you as you walk if you ask me to, and if that makes you happy."

Goddammit! Again that immense urge to cry and again she pushed them away. "You wouldn't." She chuckled. Sergio was about to get up from his seat when Raquel stopped him by pulling his arm. “You are crazy!” She hugged him tightly and then kissed him. She kissed him because she had to find an outlet for her bubbling feelings, she kissed him because if she didn’t, she would’ve cried.

But Sergio wasn't stupid, he knew she was going through something, her hands were clammy and shaky, and since the gelato incident she looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. He knew there was something going on, something she wanted to say but for some reason, something was holding her back.

The thought that maybe she wanted out of the relationship _terrified_ him. But she seemed happy, albeit well, Ágata also seemed happy up until one night before their wedding. _No_. Raquel was _not_ Ágata. But damn it, the very thought of being without her drove him crazy. The thought of _losing_ her crushed his heart and shattered his soul into shreds of pain. He could _no longer_ live without her. As much as he couldn’t keep lying to himself, he couldn’t, what he felt for Raquel exceeded the unimaginable, he couldn’t compare it to _anything_ he had felt before. It was something that elevated him to heaven while keeping him grounded. She took his breath away, but at the same time she was his breath of fresh air. She made him feel whole, made him feel at home. He loved that feeling, he…. he loved _her_. There it was, he couldn’t keep denying it. He… He had fallen _madly_ in _love_ with Raquel Murillo.

"Raquel." He said her name as if it were a sacred word. "I…"

_I love you._

No.

It wasn’t fair. He couldn't come around now after his stupid "no compromises" condition to tell her that he _loved_ her. It wasn't fair to her. This wasn’t a game, she wasn’t a game, her heart and her feelings were _not_ a game. And the worst of all, there was no one to blame but himself, he had brought this to himself and now he had to face the consequences.

“I am _so_ happy to be here with you. You make me _so_ happy.” He took her hands and kissed them tenderly.

“You make me so happy, too.” She replied with a soft, quivering whisper. “Happier than I’ve ever been in many, many years.”

Sergio swallowed and kissed her hands again and then he took that “ _I love you”_ and locked it in the deepest corners of his heart…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THOUGHTS?!?!
> 
> What do you think is coming?? 👀
> 
> Did you catch the clues?! 👀
> 
> Let me know!! 💜


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, new chapter, and this time it didn't take that long 😬
> 
> I was thinking in splitting it in two, but I feel it flows quite good this way, even if it's a little long, and i really, REALLY hope you like it, and if you do (if you don't, too 😅) let me know what you think.  
> Knowing your thoughts about this fic means a lot to me 💜💜💜
> 
> ***DISCLAIMER***  
> My dear Em has some things going on and hasn't been able to proof read this, life is a bit chaotic sometimes, guys 😭  
> But i couldn't wait to share this with you all, so sorry for any misspellings.
> 
> Enjoy, and let me know what you think!! 🥰

> _**We're only gettin' older, baby, and I've been thinkin' about it lately, does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?** _
> 
> * * *

The next morning, when Raquel woke up, she was surprised that she was alone in bed. It was the cold, or rather, the lack of Sergio's warm body that had awakened her. She reached her hand out to her side only to find an already cold space.

She stretched out her arms, squirming, moaning and groaning after a pleasant night. She then took her cellphone and looked at the time, it was after ten in the morning. She propped up on her elbow and found Sergio sitting at the small kitchen table in the airbnb loft they were renting in the heart of Florence.

He was intently reading the newspaper while he drank from the coffee cup, already dressed. So Sergio. Even during vacations he couldn’t forgive not having his coffee and his morning paper.

Raquel got out of bed and took one of the sheets to cover her naked body. She hadn't even bothered to unpack her pajamas the night before. She didn't need to. Sergio's arms were more than enough.

She walked silently up to him, and hugged him from behind, startling him a little. " _Buongiorno_ ". She whispered hoarsely in his ear, then placed a kiss on his cheek.

Sergio smiled and brought her to him, sitting her on his lap, sliding his hand through the opening of the sheet, caressing her smooth legs. Meanwhile, she took the cup of coffee and had a big drink.

"Good morning to you, too". Sergio chuckled as he watched her drink from his coffee cup.

"It needs sugar." Raquel pouted and frowned at the now empty mug in her hands.

"You know that I drink my coffee without sugar."

Raquel put the cup back to where she had taken it and wrapped her arms around Sergio's neck, “boring!" Then buried her fingers in his hair, feeling it damp. "Have you showered yet?" He replied with a shy shrug, "why didn't you wake me up?!”

"You were so comfortable asleep, I didn't want to wake you up.”

_“Joder_! What time did we fall asleep?!”

"4 or 5 in the morning, I think."

After lunch, they both kept walking the streets of Florence, going in and out of small shops, appreciating the art and the architecture, until Raquel had an idea. A midnight walk. So they kept walking the streets past 12am and until around 3am. Taking pictures, the _Piazza del Duomo_ practically all to themselves in the late hours of the Italian night. Then they culminated with an intense lovemaking session, until they both fell exhausted asleep after a busy day.

Raquel sighed contently. "I slept so well!”

"You _almost_ looked like an angel."

“Almost?!" She mocked.

“Almost. You are far from being an angel, my dear."

“Is that bad?"

“Not at all, I love it. I love that you are a force of nature. You keep me on my toes.” Raquel smiled sheepishly and hugged him tightly.

"I'm going to take a shower". Raquel said and pulled back.

"What do you want to do after breakfast today? I was thinking of it being a museum day. _Ufizzi_. _Dell’Accademia_. _Da_ _Vinci_. What do you think?”

"I cannot wait.”

Giving him one last kiss on the lips, Raquel jumped into the shower and about an hour later, they walked hand in hand in search of some nice place to have breakfast.

Again it was a day that would stay forever in Raquel's mind. That day, and the day before, that weekend, _everything_ seemed like a dream, it was as if nothing and no one existed beyond the limits of that city in Tuscany. And in those days, Raquel fantasized about the idea that Sergio was _all_ _hers_ , without conditions, the people around them didn't have to know the truth. She held his hand and kissed him for the sight of all, and for them, they were one more couple in love. But that fantasy was only for a weekend, everything was about to end.

"You enjoyed these days?” Sergio asked Raquel as they both took a delicious bubble bath one night before flying back to Madrid.

"They were fantastic." Raquel sighed with her eyes closed and her head leaning against the edge of the large bathtub.

"I don’t want this to end." He said, running her foot up Raquel's leg, all the way up her inner thigh, _very_ close to her sensitive spot, which made her close her legs with a broad smile.

"It doesn't have to end." She answered, still with her eyes closed and enjoying the warm water and Sergio's company.

Sergio took some foam in his hands and blew to create bubbles that flew through the air, some landing on Raquel's face. She laughed and opened her eyes to find Sergio blowing bubbles with the foam. She allowed herself to enjoy the moment.

Sergio stared at her in silence, his eyes piercing her, walking the skin from her neck to her chest covered in foam. Feeling her skin brush against his under the water, the taste and texture of her lips still hanging on his. He loved her, he loved her _so much._ He didn't want this to end, _never,_ he didn't want to go back to reality.

"Raquel... let's move in together." Sergio blurted out. The adrenaline shooting through his bloodstream.

Raquel's heart leapt for a second, she lifted her head and her eyes snapped open, looking directly at Sergio. “What?!" She whispered breathlessly.

"Let's move in together." Sergio repeated without hesitation in his voice.

Raquel shifted in the tub and sat up straight. She couldn't assimilate what she was hearing. Suddenly a whole world of possibilities opened up in front of her, along with another of fears and doubts. What did this mean? Did it mean they were together _without_ conditions? Was it temporary? It was a test? See how things moved. She felt herself shaking with so many questions.

"Sergio... what-what does this mean?”

Sergio smiled and took her hands, Raquel couldn't help but smile along with him. “It means that when they ask us where we live, we will both give the same address and phone number. It means that my clothes and your clothes will be in the same closet and our toothbrushes in the same cup, same bedroom… same bed.”

Raquel was having a difficult time listening to Sergio's words that were silenced by the loud beating of her heart pounding in her ears. "A-and then?" She queried. Sergio gaped at her, not knowing what to say next. "And then nothing." Raquel answered her own question and left go of his hands.

“I-I mean, a lot of things can happen. Maybe you get bored of me, or… I don't know, we just call it quits.”

"This is the good thing about our relationship, right?" Raquel's excited grin turned into a sad half smile. "Nothing ties us, and nothing joins us." Sergio opened his mouth to say something else but was immediately interrupted by Raquel. "I think we should get out of the tub now, the dinner reservation is in less than an hour."

Without giving him time to explain himself, Raquel got out of the tub, took a bathrobe, and left there. Sergio wanted to throw a fist, he wanted to scream and break things. He had had the opportunity right under his nose and he let it go.

For the love of God! Raquel had asked him "and then _what_?" She had given him the perfect opportunity to tell him _everything_ he felt and what he hoped would happen in the future because, clearly, she expected more, or if not, why ask what next? Stupid, stupid, stupid! But he didn’t expect her to take the proposal with such enthusiasm, he froze, he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to start, he didn't know how to get all those words from within him. How could he tell her now to forget about his absurd no-compromise rule? Especially after he had been so adamant from the start.

Later that night, they both walked alongside each other heading to the restaurant where they both had a dinner reservation. Both in silence and without holding hands.

"Raquel." Sergio spoke when the silence became unbearable. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you with my proposal."

"You didn't upset me, Sergio." Raquel answered looking at her feet. "In that case, I'm also sorry for overreacting, I was very stupid."

"No, you didn't."

"I did! I… I think it's better how we are… for now? I mean, we can take it gently, it's true that we spend a lot of time together, me in your place or you in mine, but it's not the same as living together."

"Yeah, you're right, sorry if I sounded a bit... desperate."

Raquel smiled, "you didn’t."

"So… are we okay?"

Raquel took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "We are."

"And since we are ok, I want to take the opportunity to make you an invitation."

"Invitation? Where to?"

"To a ball."

"A ball?!" Raquel exclaimed, of everything she could think of, certainly she never expected that Sergio, the least partying person in the world, would invite her to a ball no less.

"Yeah, I had the same reaction." Sergio chuckled blushed, adjusting his glasses. "It is an annual ball organized by the Chamber of Commerce, and well, as the CEO of Fonollosa’s enterprises I am one of the guests of honor."

“Oh, wow, it sounds fancy!”

“It is fancy. That’s why I’d understand if you don't want to go, I don't really want to go myself either."

"Why wouldn't I?" Raquel frowned.

"I-I-I..." Sergio stuttered, "I don't know, I thought it wouldn't be your scene."

"Well, no, it isn't, but hey, it's a new experience for me. Why not dress up and go to a fancy ball?”

Sergio laughed. "That's what Andrés said!”

"Is he going, too?”

"Yes, and Alicia, too.”

“Well, all the more reason for the four of us to go. It will be a great evening!”

"I am sure it will be unforgettable." Sergio answered and Raquel gave him a small smile, resting her head on his shoulder, walking through the streets of Florence.

However, a strange feeling had settled in her heart, something she couldn’t place, and this time, as much as she tried to shake it off, she only made it bigger. It was a kind of anxiety mixed with fear and longing, the feeling that she was looking for something, that something was missing. The feeling that what she currently had in her life was no longer enough, she wanted more. The anxiety of talking about it with Sergio. The fear of knowing that he didn't want the same. The longing to get what her life lacked. Even if right now she didn’t what what it was. 

* * *

After coming back from their trip to Florence, Raquel and Sergio were surprised that neither Alicia nor Andrés were in the city, they had gone on a quick trip themselves to southern Spain.

The days passed by and neither Sergio nor Raquel tackled the subject of moving in together again, it was the big white elephant in the room that neither of them dared to address.

Fortunately, Andrés and Alicia's little trip didn’t last long. Neither Sergio nor Raquel could wait to pour out their hearts to their confidants. The trip to Florence had left them with more doubts than ever and they had to discuss it with someone before making the next move.

On a Saturday morning, Sergio was having his breakfast when he heard the doorbell, he assumed it was Raquel, so he got a big surprise when the one who was found on the threshold of the door was his brother.

"Andrés? What a surprise, weren't you in the south with Alicia?

“I was." Andrés replied as he made his way inside his brother's apartment.

"Breakfast?" Sergio asked him, following behind.

"You know the answer." Andrés sat at the table while Sergio served him breakfast.

"And how was your trip with Alicia?" Sergio asked, returning to the table with Andrés's plate and a cup for coffee.

"Good." Andres answered dryly as he added sugar to his coffee. "But tell me, how about yours?" Sergio sighed heavily. He didn't know where to start. "Wait, don't tell me you screw it up!”

"What? No! Is not that."

“So, why does my question seem to bother you?"

Sergio sighed again, looking at his clasped hands on the table, thinking about _how_ to begin to tell his brother everything that had happened in Florence and everything that was happening in his head and in his heart. It wasn't easy, he couldn't find the right words.

"Sergio?" Andrés insisted.

"Ok, first, you have to promise me that you will listen to me and that you will not come up with one of your stupid and witty remarks, are we?"

"I would never!" Andrés frowned and gave his coffee a little sip.

Sergio rolled his eyes as he tried to bring order to his thoughts. “Well… the trip… the trip was great. More than great, it was… wonderful, everything I expected, until…” he trailed off.

"Until…"

"I don’t know how to say this." Sergio confessed, looking back at his hands. "It’s even somewhat… embarrassing, especially considering my attitude a few months ago."

"Sergio, I am not understanding anything."

“This trip, Andrés, this trip opened my eyes in an almost violent way. I don't know if it was the distance, the city, Raquel... or a mix of everything, but …” Sergio paused for a few seconds to catch his breath, “this trip made me realize many things, but the most important of all was that…”

"Sergio, speak!" Andrés urged when his brother was silent for a few seconds, looking at his hands attentively.

"You're going to laugh at me." Sergio blushed and adjusted his glasses.

"Why would I?!"

"Because I know you will, I know you!"

“Cut the crap and talk, Sergio!"

"I'M IN LOVE!" Sergio blurted out. It was the first time he'd ever said it out loud and God, it felt _so_ good. "I'm in love like mad with Raquel."

Andrés looked at him carefully trying to control the laughter growing inside him, until he couldn't contain it.

"Why are you laughing?! Damn, after how much you pressured me into having a relationship and I— ”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Andrés exclaimed, still laughing slightly, “I'm not laughing at you! Well, yes, a little, but it's only because I already knew this!"

"How did you know?" Sergio frowned, still annoyed by his brother’s reaction, but why was he surprised? It was just what he should expect from Andrés. "This is the first time I've said it, you are the first person to know."

“You didn't need to tell me, _hermanito_. Your feelings for Raquel are written all over your face, all of you screams that you love her, only an idiot would not notice it."

Sergio shifted in his seat and adjusted his glasses, feeling alluded to by his brother’s words. But he was right, he had been an idiot for not realizing it earlier.

"But I don't know what to do now." Sergio said crestfallen.

"What do you mean?"

“I screwed up everything with my ridiculous 'no commitments' rule and now it’s blowing up in my face. I don't know where Raquel is standing, I don't know if she would like to reconsider our relationship and the future of it, and of us. I don't want her to feel like I'm playing with her and with her feelings.”

Andrés smiled sympathetically at his brother, then placed his hand on his shoulder, giving him a slight squeeze of encouragement. “ _Hermanito_ … Raquel, she is _so_ in love with you, as you are with her. She loves you. You two can't hide your love for each other, you radiate it. It’s there, in every look, every move. You love each other, everyone knew it except you two."

Sergio sighed heavily, running his hand down his face. "What do I do now? How do I tell her? What if now she's the one who doesn't want anything serious?!”

"Didn't you hear what I just told you?" Andrés frowned at Sergio, "She LOVES-YOU!”

“And I love her too! Andrés… I… feel like I explode every time I'm with her. I'm so… _so_ happy. For the first time, perhaps in my entire life, I feel truly happy. I feel like I have everything I ever wanted. I have you, Raquel, even her mother and Alicia!" He chuckled. "I have _everything_!"

For a moment, Andrés felt a pang in his heart. Sergio was so high on his cloud that it seemed like he was ignoring the inevitable. What they knew for a long time would happen. It was as if he ignored the fact that yes, he had him now, but not for too long.

Andres smiled wistfully. “I am so happy for you, little brother. But you have to talk to Raquel, all this you just told me, you have to tell her."

"I don't even know how to start."

"Start by telling her that you're an idiot." Sergio laughed. "Then, well... you just pour your heart into her."

Sergio considered it. “Yes, but not now. I'll wait until after the ball, she is so excited for that party and I don't want to ruin it for her.”

"You really are in love, aren't you?" Andrés shook his head in disbelief. “In that case, finish that breakfast that we have an appointment with the tailor in an hour. Surely the girls will also go to see dresses today, they are back at my place.”

* * *

"Earth calling Raquel." Alicia snapped her fingers in front of Raquel’s face who seemed absorbed in her own world while she had breakfast with Alicia on the terrace of her penthouse.

"W-what?"

"What's the matter with you?! You are so weird since you came back from that trip, what happened?"

"Nothing!" Alicia gave her a knowing look, she couldn't hide anything from her. Raquel sighed heavily, “well, not much, I don't know… it's all so… _complicated_. Sergio… Sergio asked me to move in together.”

Alicia was about to shriek until she read the room. Raquel didn't look as excited as she expected. "And what did you say?" She asked tentatively.

"I said no, at least not for now."

"What?! Why?!"

"I don't know, Alicia! I don’t know!" Raquel complained heavily, she still couldn't settle that feeling. If she didn't even know what was going on with her, how was she going to explain it to Alicia?

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Oh, my God! Not again, I swear you two have more drama going on than a Turkish soap opera! Why do you like to complicate your own life so much?!”

"I do not complicate my life!"

"Of course you do! Raquel, you two practically live together, what is so ' _complicated_ ' about making it official?"

"I don't know how to explain it! That’s it. As much as I think about it, everything seems so… complicated."

"Sometimes things seem more complicated than they are until we discuss them with someone else." Alicia said with a less judging tone.

“These weeks have been so... weird?”

Alicia looked at Raquel sympathetically. ”When you find the words to explain it, you know I'm here to listen to you." She squeezed her hand.

"I know." Raquel mumbled.

"Ok, but, moving on... the ball!” Alicia beamed.

"Oh, the infamous ball." Raquel laughed.

"Do you know what you’ll be wearing? Why don't we go shopping?!”

"Yeah, I already know what I’ll be wearing. I have a dress that I think is appropriate."

“Which one?"

"The black I wore on your last birthday."

Alicia laughed, "you're kidding, right?!”

“I’m not! Why!?"

"Raquel, I won't let you go in your Baby GAP dresses!"

Raquel frowned, and gasped offended, “It's not a Baby GAP dress! It's from Zara, and it's very pretty."

"It is, but, _cariño…_ this is a very, _very_ important ball, and while I'm sure Amancio would be very pleased to see that hot body of yours wearing his brand, he's not going to endorse you."

"Amancio will be there?!" Raquel asked, a bit amazed.

“It's _the_ party, _the_ ball. The richest and most important people in all of Spain will be there.”

Raquel swallowed. For a moment she felt very nervous and a little regretful for having accepted the invitation. That was certainly Alicia's scene, but she wasn't sure it was hers.

“W-well, there's still a couple of weeks to go. I still have time to think about what to wear.”

Alicia huffed, ”Raquel, it's this Friday."

"No, it’s not!” Raquel laughed nervously.

"It is. Check your calendar."

Raquel took her cell phone to check the calendar, and indeed, it was in just a few days. But that wasn't the only thing she noticed.

" _Joder_!" Raquel breathed. “ _Joder, joder, joder_!” She got up from her seat abruptly looking at her cell phone, looking at the calendar.

"What?! Raquel, you are scaring me, what is it?!”

Raquel stared petrified at the screen of her cell phone, then she dropped back into the chair and looked at Alicia. Her face completely drained of color, her mouth dry and a feeling of queasiness in the pit of her stomach.

"I... I'm late."

Alicia gasped, "late as in... late?" Raquel nodded with watery eyes and her breathing starting to race. “Ok, ok, let's calm down. How late are you?" Raquel didn't answer, her gaze fixed on the plate of fruit in front of her. “Raquel!" Alicia snapped, "how late?"

"Almost a month." Raquel answered in a dry voice.

“Ok, like I said, let's calm down. You are late, but that doesn't mean anything, it could be, I don't know, stress! You said it yourself that these last few weeks have been very strange!”

"Yeah, yeah." Raquel murmured unconvincingly.

"Have you had any other symptoms? Morning sickness, dizziness, tender breasts, tiredness?"

"Just tired and my breasts are a bit tender.”

Alicia thought, “well that could be PMS, too. But, to be sure, let's get a test." Raquel nodded, fighting back the tears and biting her lower lip. "Breathe, my love. Breathe.” Alicia caressed her hair.

"Would you go get me a test?" Raquel asked her, her voice full of fear.

"Of course! Right now. Just calm down, ok? I'll be back." Alicia took her purse and ran off to the pharmacy to buy the pregnancy test.

Raquel remained in place, her gaze lost, trying to figure out what she was feeling. She didn't move, she didn't cry or smile. Everything was so overwhelming that it didn’t allow her to release her feelings.

Soon after, Alicia was back with a big paper bag with the tests.

"What am I going to do, Alicia?" Raquel muttered in a flat voice.

“First, take these tests. Then, we'll see."

"Yeah, yeah." Raquel took the paper bag and opened it, inside there were at least 5 tests. "Alicia, why so many?!"

“To be safe! What if it gives you a false result?!"

Raquel shuddered and made her way to the bathroom to take the tests. She was shaking, to the point of not being able to handle herself with coordination. The last time she had shaken in this way had been that horrible night that Alberto had beaten her up. That night when he reminded her that she was not good at procreating a healthy baby while he beat her tirelessly. Still, she did what she had to do, she left the tests lined up in the countersink, washed her hands and left there to wait for the result with Alicia in the living room.

"What am I going to do? How did this happen?" Raquel wondered aloud as she paced the living room.

"I think it's very obvious how it happened."

“I mean, I know how it happened but… We are careful! I am careful!"

"You clearly weren't that careful!"

"Alicia, shut up!"

"Ok, ok, I’m sorry!"

“How will I tell Sergio? He doesn't want any of this!”

"Well, that's what he should’ve thought before putting his cock in your vagina without protection!" Alicia snapped a bit upset. “It’s not only your responsibility, Raquel! If he doesn't want children, then why doesn't he get a vasectomy? Why does it have to be you the one who gets stuffed with hormones?!”

Raquel fell silent. She knew Alicia was right, but she didn't have the energy to go there right now. "How long has it been?" She asked instead, biting her thumbnail.

Alicia looked at her wristwatch. "Three minutes. Two to go."

The remaining two minutes, they both were in silence. Alicia could only imagine how Raquel felt in those moments and what this meant to her, especially after Miguel, even if she didn't show it.

"It's time." Alicia said after a couple of minutes.

Raquel shuddered and scratched the back of her neck. "I can’t do it." She said, on the edge of a whimper.

Alicia nodded understandingly and got up to the bathroom to check the result. She took a deep breath before entering and then opened the door.

All the tests were almost meticulously arranged on the countersink. All of them showing a single pink line. _Negative_. Raquel wasn’t pregnant.

_Fuck_! Alicia thought.

"Alicia! What's going on?" Raquel yelled from the living room, followed by her footsteps going to the bathroom. Alicia just closed her eyes. “Alicia, what—” she came to halt.

Raquel knew it was physically impossible, but she could swear that she felt her heart leave its place and fall to her feet. Falling and crashing into a thousand pieces.

" _Oh_!" Raquel uttered.

Alicia looked at her friend, her expressionless face, but not her eyes. "Raquel—" She began.

"No, no, no, it’s-it’s fine!" She tried to smile as her eyes grew more and more watery. "This-this is good, isn't it?”

"Good for who? For Sergio?" Alicia asked, but she got no response. “Raquel?”

Raquel let out a shaky breath and sat on the toilet lid. First darting her eyes all over the floor, taking deep breaths, trying to collect her thoughts, until they were too much and she burst into tears. Alicia rushed to wrap her in her arms.

After a few minutes, after Raquel was a little calmer, Alicia took her and led her into the living room, snuggling her in the sofa with her head on her chest, among cushions and a throw blanket.

" _Cariño_." Alicia mumbled after a few moments. "I know how you are feeling right now, and the hopes you had for this, but… I think it's time for you to reconsider your relationship."

Raquel pulled back and sat up straight. "Reconsider my relationship?" She repeated hoarsely.

"Raquel, you and Sergio are no longer teenagers, you both want things, and clearly they are not the same things, so…”

Raquel pondered Alicia’s words and beyond. She pondered on her relationship, not only with Sergio, but back to Alberto. She pondered on her life, where her decisions had led her. She had decided to keep on with her pregnancy even if deep, deep inside her she knew that Alberto didn’t want any of that, and, although keeping the baby, whether Alberto had wanted him or not, was ultimately _her_ choice, it was also true that she chose to stay with him even after her son’s death because she felt that Alberto was the only thing that joined her to her boy, until everything ended in the worst way. She decided to accept Sergio's conditions, even when she wasn’t entirely convinced of such a relationship, and now, everything was falling on her. Everything made sense now. She had found what she felt she was lacking in her life.

It was not just a baby, of course not, it went much further. It was about a sense of security, of commitment, of stability. All that she hadn't had before and that now she craved. The security of having a partner who was _all_ in. A committed relationship in which she felt stable and confident enough to know that the man next to her wanted the same things she did and that if they found themselves in a situation like this again, they could both talk about it and go through it together, instead of her doing everything alone and on the verge of nervous breakdown. Something that she wasn’t having with Sergio. It didn't matter how much she loved him, how affectionate he was, or how good were his gestures, or how good he was in bed. Without compromise and without stability, all her security was crumbling down.

"I want _more_ , Alicia." She acknowledged. "I want more and I don't know... I don't know how to tell Sergio."

"Just tell him, tell him you want more and if he doesn't want to give it to you, then you know what to do."

Raquel closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. Alicia made it sound so easy. “It hurts so much just thinking about it. I love him, Alicia, I love him so much. But…"

“I know you love him, and clearly he loves you, too, you have to talk to him. Put all the cards on the table, tell him what you feel, tell him what you want. Have you told him… have you told him about Miguel?"

"No. And I vowed never to."

"Raquel, you have to tell him! That way he will understand better where you are coming from!"

“Alicia, we already had this conversation, I don't want to! I'm scared. I'm afraid that he will see me differently, that he will feel sorry and give in to stay with me just because of that and then end up being unhappy.”

“And don't you think keeping it a secret will also make _you_ unhappy? Raquel, _cariño_ , listen to your own words, you are repeating the same pattern. I don't want to see you again 5 years from now unhappy and miserable, in a relationship that doesn't fulfill you."

“It was what I told myself when Sergio and I started all this, that I would walk away from it when I didn’t feel it anymore. I never thought that I was actually going to face that moment, or how difficult it was going to be.”

“Loving is not easy. But if it is of any consolation, Raquel… Sergio _loves_ you, beyond the conditions, what's more, what conditions? It’s so clear that he is no longer playing under those rules, he wants _all_ of you, he wants everything with you. It's written all over his face, the way he's with you. He loves you. Talk to him, I'm sure you will be surprised."

"I will." Raquel agreed, “but not now, after the ball. If things go wrong, at least we'll have that night, don't you think?"

"That seems very good to me." Alicia snuggled her friend again and gave her a kiss on the head. "Now, Miss Baby GAP, let's go find you a dress worthy of that party."

* * *

Amid all the tumult of emotions and work, when everyone less thought about it, the day of the ball was already there. For reasons of practicality, they decided that everyone was going to get ready in Alicia and Andrés's penthouse, and from there the 4 of them left for the party that would take place at the _Palacio de Cibeles_.

Sergio and Andrés were ready in practically minutes, but Alicia and Raquel made them wait a long time. Meanwhile, the Marquina-Fonollosa brothers took the opportunity to have a nice chat on the terrace, while inside, make-up artists and hairdressers went back and forth. A couple of hours later, both ladies were ready to go.

"Ready to go, _amore mio?!” A_ licia left the room and the sight of her almost made Andrés drool, her tight black mermaid dress accentuating her perfect silhouette made her look like a goddess in his eyes.

“More than ready." Andrés smiled in a ravishing way.

"And Raquel?" Sergio asked, eager to see her.

"She's coming, they were helping her with her shoes." Alice answered.

As if on cue, Raquel appeared on the threshold of the hall. Sergio almost fainted. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous, like a queen, a goddess and all the beautiful things in the world. Her emerald green gown that matched perfectly with her skin tone and her hair. An A-line skirt with a deep thigh split that revealed her leg as she walked, and an off the shoulder neckline that accentuated her beautiful cleavage and shoulders. He felt like kissing the soft skin there. Her hair was in a low messy bun with loose strands framing her face and a tiny, thin headband with some details that sparkled with the reflection of the light.

"Breathe, you are turning blue." Andrés whispered into his brother's ear with a grin.

"Well, let's get going!" Alicia exclaimed, walking towards the door with Andrés following behind her.

"You look stunning." Sergio took Raquel by the waist and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I know." Raquel answered, making him smile. "I have something for you."

"For me?"

“Yes. Can’t I be the one giving surprises for once?” She teased

"Of course you can!"

From her clutch purse, Raquel took what looked like a card and gave it to Sergio. He looked at it, realizing it was the key to a room in a _very_ luxurious hotel in the city.

"We have a date after the ball." Raquel said.

“A date?" Sergio asked curiously.

"Yeah."

"Good, because there is something very important I want to do."

“Me too."

“ _Come on_!" Alicia called to them from outside, while Andres held the elevator door open.

Sergio and Raquel laughed, held hands, and joined Alicia and Andrés. It was a nice trip to the _Palacio de Cibeles_ , luckily, each couple was in a respective car, which left some privacy for them.

When they finally arrived, Raquel's heart raced, a lot of people were outside the place, mainly press. A man opened the door for her and helped her out of the car. Her legs were shaking and she feared to trip if she took a step.

"Let's go." Sergio appeared beside her and took her hand with a slight squeeze.

"This is a lot." Raquel said, smiling nervously.

"You just smile at them, and if you don't want to, look at me." Raquel looked at him, the poor thing looked so scared. “It's just a ball, nothing more. And it's just you and me, no one else. We will dance and drink and when this is over, we have a date."

What Raquel didn't realize was that while Sergio was speaking, he was walking her to her entrance. Talking to her through that to avoid the lens of the press. Once inside, they met with Andrés and Alicia, and although they couldn't avoid the photographer inside, they were still happy to smile for a couple of pictures.

Everything was so exquisite and tasteful, Raquel had never attended any event like this. If she thought Alicia and Andres's wedding had been high class, this was next level. They were escorted by a nice and friendly host to their table, which they would share with two other wine entrepreneurs, very good friends of Sergio and Andrés, along with their respective partners. Two women who welcomed Alicia and Raquel with a big smile and kisses on the cheeks. At least they looked nice.

Raquel couldn't stop looking around her, she was dazzled.

"I can't wait for all of this to be over." Sergio said to Raquel in her ear and then gave her a kiss on the skin of her shoulder.

Raquel laughed. "We just got here!"

"Yeah, but I can't wait for us to leave and have you all to myself."

"Sergio." Carlos, one of the men at the table spoke, interrupting their little moment. "I didn't expect to see you here, you hardly ever join us to these kinds of events."

Sergio smiled tightly and adjusted his glasses.

"Nor did we know you were dating someone." Georgina, the woman next Carlos, added. "You are so beautiful, _cariño_!"

Raquel was a bit dazed and she blushed, but still she took the compliment. They were an old couple with a long history of wine family in the north of Spain, and they looked really nice and genuine in their compliments.

"I didn't know you had a partner either, Sergio." Martina, the other woman accompanying them at the table pointed out. "Since when have you been dating? Are we getting an invitation to a wedding soon? Andrés and Alicia’s wedding was magical!”

Damn, this was getting so uncomfortable and awkward. "We have been dating for a few months." Sergio replied, "no wedding invitation _for now_.” He adjusted his glasses.

"You make a very beautiful couple." Darío, Martina's husband, recognized, and everyone at the table agreed. Sergio and Raquel shared a look and a shy smile.

"And tell us Raquel," Martina said, "What do you do for a living?"

"Oh, I-I'm an inspector for the CNP."

"Come on _mi amor_ , don't be shy!" Alicia interceded. "She is also a criminologist and psychologist."

" _Wow_!" Everyone at the table exclaimed in amazement at Raquel's credentials, and Sergio was more than proud of the woman next to him.

"Can we go take a walk around?" Raquel asked Sergio after a moment in which the group made casual talk.

"Are you okay?" Sergio asked worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah, I just want to look around, not every day one goes to a fancy ball, to this place no less."

The couple apologized and got up from the table to take a walk around the place.

“I had never seen this place turned into a party room." Raquel said as she walked with her arm linked to Sergio's.

"I have always found it breathtaking, the facade is a work of art."

"It is!”

Suddenly, Sergio came to an abrupt halt.

"Sergio? What happens?" Raquel asked, frowning. She noticed how his gaze, his astonished gaze was looking at something or someone over her shoulder. She looked around, but she couldn't identify what or who had caused that reaction in him. "Sergio, talk to me, what happens?"

But Sergio couldn't react. His mind and his body had stopped responding to him. It was as if everything around him spun unstoppably and an overwhelming silence penetrated his ears.

“ _Á-Ágata_." Sergio stuttered.

" _Sergio_." A soft and beautiful voice replied behind Raquel’s back...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh... yikes! No what?! 😳


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, new chapter, much, much shorter than the previous ones, I hope you like it! 🤞🏼
> 
> An apology because I wasn't able to answer back to your kind messages, life got a little crazy, but I read them and I appreciate each of them 💕 I hope you keep letting me know what you think 🥺
> 
> A little disclaimer, we weren't able to proofread this chapter either, crazy life and all that stuff. I hope you understand. (Kudos to Em and hoping soon she catches a break 💜)
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think!! 💕

> _**I was in your arms, thinking I belonged there... Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there, but I was a fool playing by the rules...** _
> 
> * * *

"Sergio? What happens?" Raquel asked, frowning. She noticed how his gaze, his astonished gaze was looking at something or someone over her shoulder. She looked around, but she couldn't identify what or who had caused that reaction in him. "Sergio, talk to me, what happens?"

But Sergio couldn't react. His mind and his body had stopped responding to him. It was as if everything around him spun unstoppably and an overwhelming silence penetrated his ears.

“ _Á-Ágata_." Sergio stuttered.

" _Sergio_." A soft and beautiful voice replied behind Raquel’s back…

* * *

Raquel felt her own blood run cold. That name, even without looking at the face, owner of that name who had been hunting her for months, just hearing it made her knees go weak. Slowly she turned around, finally putting a face to that woman. She was astonished.

She could clearly see why Sergio had fallen for her charms. Physically the woman was a stunner, all glossy black hair, cinnamon skin, sharp features and long legs, almost as tall as he was. Her dress; If Raquel had seen it on a rack in a store, she would have laughed at it, saying that it looked like a nightgown, but _damn,_ this woman made it look like haute couture. Soft and shiny golden-yellow silk with ridiculously thin straps, cowl neck and a small train. She was a breathtaking woman. Her beauty was only proportional to the pain she had caused.

Raquel felt in the middle of two fires. Sergio and Ágata shared a penetrating gaze and while hers was soft, almost scared; his was unreadable, emotionless, empty.

"Sergio." Raquel mumbled, grabbing his arm gently. Act that made him react and turn to look at her with a frown. But then his eyes traveled back to Ágata.

"I-I... excuse me." Sergio hurried out walking away from both women. Leaving them with a feeling of deep confusion.

Raquel didn't know what to say to the beautiful woman in front of her, and clearly Ágata didn't know how to proceed either. The air of discomfort enveloped them until the latter decided to turn around and walk away from there, too.

Raquel looked around, trying to find where Sergio had gone, but it was as if he had vanished into thin air. The noise, the music, and the laughter were starting to get overwhelming until she heard her name.

" _Raquel!_ "

Alicia took her by the shoulder, bringing her back to reality. Making her doubt even if what had happened a few seconds ago had been real.

"What are you doing here alone?!” Alicia questioned her.

"She's here." Raquel breathed, not looking at Alicia. Her eyes still searching for Sergio.

"Who? Who is here?"

"That woman..." she looked at her, “Ágata. His ex."

"Fuck." It was all Alicia could say.

Just what she most feared would happen, was happening, and in the worst of places. Damn Andrés! If only he had alerted Sergio, at least he would be aware that, while in those kinds of events, it was likely to run into her.

"And where is he now?" Alicia asked.

"I don’t know. I don’t know!" Raquel replied in exasperation. “You should have seen him, Alicia, his face looked like the world was ending in front of his eyes. Then he just rushed away from here.”

"Well, he couldn't have gotten very far, I mean, I don't think he left here, right?"

"I don't know, Alicia, I don't know!" Raquel yelled, bringing her hands to her head. “I hate all of this. I hate it here. I want to get out of here!” She almost whimpered.

“Let's calm down first, ok? Let's find Sergio and… "

“And then what?!” Raquel cut her off sharply.

"Raquel, look at me." Alicia took her by the shoulders looking at her face. “For no reason I want you to feel less than that woman, do you understand me? Whatever happens, remember _who_ you are. Now let's go, let's find Sergio.”

* * *

At another point of building, in a dark and secluded corner, Sergio was having a moment. He couldn't keep the tears from streaming out of his eyes. Why now?! Why here?! He had so many questions, he wanted to ask her so many questions, but the most important was: _WHY?_

Why had she done what she did? Why had she acted that way? Why had she made him believe that she loved him? Why?

Sergio felt so, so much pain after having seen her again, that he didn’t know how to handle it. He didn't know how to get out there and face everyone again. Many of the people there knew what had happened, he couldn’t bear the idea of being the center of attention and gossips. And then there was Raquel. God, Raquel! How to see her in the eyes in the middle of this situation? She deserved better than this.

Gathering every bit of will and strength within him, Sergio wiped away his tears and went to face everyone out there. He walked straight to his table without looking around. But apparently, no one had noticed the unexpected and uncomfortable encounter that had just taken place, perhaps they had already forgotten it, but not him. Never, something like that was never forgotten.

"Sergio, where were you?!" Raquel breathed in relief once she saw Sergio return to the table. Luckily, only her, Andrés and Alicia were there, her companions were on the dance floor.

"I had to go to the toilet." He answered flatly, sitting next to her, sharing a quick glance with Andrés.

"Everything's fine?" His brother asked.

"I don't know, you tell me." Sergio answered defensively.

"Sergio." Raquel tried to calm him down, "do you want us to get out of here?”

"No, no, I'm fine, really." But not even he believed his own words.

"Are you sure?”

He ran the top of his fingers down her cheek and smiled at her, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes. "Do you want to dance?"

Raquel huffed amused, "you don't know how to dance."

"That's why I have the best teacher."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Raquel insisted. She hated to see him in such denial.

“We'll talk later, okay? I have many things to tell you, but not now."

"Okay." Raquel accepted it for now, giving him a chaste kiss, feeling him cold under her lips. Sergio took her hand and they both made their way through the crowd onto the dance floor, a soft ballad played loudly, and the couples danced to the melody. 

And there _she_ was, with her brand new husband, hanging around his neck, smiling broadly and laughing so hard that her entire body shook and her head hung back. He would say things to her ear, nuzzling her neck and then kissing the flesh there, pressing his hands on her hips and she sinking her fingers into his hair, it was as if just the two of them existed on that dance floor. And Sergio, Sergio was watching them attentively, an emptiness in the pit of his stomach. And Raquel, her pink bubble had burst and she felt like her whole world was crumbling around her and she couldn't do anything to stop her relationship from slipping through her fingers into the void.

Without saying a word, Raquel freed herself from Sergio's arms, his stiff, cold arms. Those arms that in so many nights had given her protection and warmth, now felt like blocks of ice stinging her skin. Then she walked away from there. Sergio didn't follow her, nor did he do anything to stop her. That was what hurt her the most.

When the music stopped, everyone was invited to go back to their tables for dinner. Sergio saw how Ágata and her companion said a few quick words to each other and they both walked in opposite directions; he walked to the toilets and she walked to their table.

Without thinking about what he was doing, when he least thought about it, Sergio had already taken Ágata by the arm and dragged her to a secluded place.

"Sergio, what the hell are you doing!" Agatha yelled as Sergio manhandled her. "Let me go, you are hurting me!"

Then he let her go with a slight push, causing her to stagger a bit on her high heels. His eyes were on fire, all of him was on fire. He wanted answers, and he wanted them _now_.

"Why are you here?!” Sergio hollered. In all the time she was with him, Ágata had _never_ seen him in this state. He wasn’t an aggressive man, however, she felt fear in those moments.

"What are you talking about? It's a ball, I was invited, why wouldn't I come? I had no idea you were going to be here!"

"Who is that man? Is your husband?"

"That is none of your business! I am not asking you who is that woman who was with you for the same reason, it is none of my business, nor do I care!” Ágata snapped.

Sergio turned around, removing his glasses from his face, pricking the bridge of his nose. This was too much, this situation was taking the best of him and manipulating his emotions. This wasn’t him.

"Why?" Sergio uttered, but this time in a pained murmur, just for the two of them to hear.

No more words were needed, Ágata knew exactly what he was referring to. She swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep her tears at bay.

"I couldn’t. And I am so, so sorry for the way I did things, it was… worse than horrifying and for that alone I deserve the worst, but that's the truth. I couldn't, I couldn’t do it.”

"Why?" Sergio insisted, again his explosive emotions possessing him.

"I don’t know!” She cried. “There were many things, Sergio, don't ask me to explain. Nothing... nothing was what I expected, our relationship, our engagement, I... I felt trapped, suffocated. I was still a child!”

Sergio laughed humorlessly. “You were far from being a child. Don't make it sound like I abused you.”

"I'm not saying that you abused me!" Agate retorted. She laughed humorlessly too. “Everyone sells you this idea that college makes you mature, that as soon as you are awarded a degree that makes you a responsible adult… that's bs! I didn't become an adult. Inside was still that young woman who wanted to go partying, get drunk with my friends and come home until dawn, and suddenly, with barely 24, 25 years old, I found myself organizing a wedding with a man who couldn't even sleep comfortably next to me, attending dinners with stuck up people that looked at me like I didn't belong there. Do you have any idea how frustrating that was? I wasn’t ready for that life, I wasn’t ready to be a wife!”

"But now you are married,” Sergio reproached her, “and in a party full of stuck up people."

“That was years ago, Sergio. I have grown up, I have seen the world, I have met people. Now I'm ready for that kind commitment."

“I never asked you to be a wife. I was aware of your abilities, of how far you could go and that you still enjoyed your college life, and even if I didn’t share it, I would never have forbidden you it, or asked you to change all that to become a self-sacrificing wife. I was proud of the woman you were, just the way you were.”

"Well... I think it's too late to think about it now, don't you think?"

"But not because of me."

"What do you want, Sergio? Hear me say that I screwed it up? Well yeah, I screwed it up! And there's not a day that I don't hate myself for the way I handled it. What else do you want me to say? Do you want to blame me for the pain I caused you? Do it, I deserve it, but nothing we say will change the past.”

“Did you ever love me.” Sergio asked in a trembling voice.

“Oh, Sergio.” Ágata whispered. “Of course I did. I loved you with every bit of me. And I still lo—”

_"Sergio?"_

Suddenly Raquel was before them, her eyes traveled from Sergio to Ágata and from Ágata to Sergio. In the midst of the heated discussion, he had cornered Ágata against the wall, their bodies just a breath away from each other. Quite a compromising position if their past and the words they had just uttered were taken into account. Raquel felt a blow to her chest.

"Raquel, what are you doing here?" Sergio spoke, avoiding her accusing gaze while wiping his teary eyes.

"I came to see where you were, dinner’s being served." Raquel replied, looking at Ágata the whole time. She felt that her excuse was the stupidest in the world, but she couldn't reveal her true intentions, not in front of this woman.

"I should go back to my table." Ágata said. "Goodbye Sergio." Then she walked away.

Sergio still didn’t dare to look her in the face, he leaned against the wall looking everywhere except at her.

"Did I interrupt something?" Raquel mumbled, standing next to him.

"Nothing." Sergio groaned.

“You two seemed to be having a very… heated and personal conversation.”

"Not now, Raquel, please!” Sergio complained.

"Not now, what? I am asking a legitimate question. Suddenly I find you with your ex, talking about love, with your history, what do you want me to think?!”

"Well, if you're thinking that I was asking her to run away together, you're wrong!”

“You don't have to run away to realize that you are no longer with me, you haven’t been from the moment you saw her. Body and mind.” She exhaled in defeat. “Goodbye Sergio.” She said and turned around.

However, this time Sergio did go after her. She was trying her best to hold back from crying, she couldn't do it in front of all these people.

"Guys, I'm sorry but I'll have to leave." Raquel informed everyone at the table, taking her purse. They all looked at her confused.

"Why?!" Alicia exclaimed.

"Raquel, wait!" Sergio came in after her. "Let's talk.”

"There is nothing to talk about, Sergio." Then she addressed the rest at the table. “May you all have an evening as unforgettable as mine, goodbye.”

Raquel left walking at full speed, Sergio was only a couple of steps behind. She was stepping on her dress, and the proximity of the tables and chairs made it more difficult to navigate the space to the exit. When she was finally outside, she took a deep breath of the chilly night air. Cars and people were still coming and going like it wasn't almost midnight while her world was falling apart.

"Raquel, wait!" Sergio reached for her, grabbing her hand, she aggressively freed herself from his grip.

“Don't touch me!” She kept walking to the avenue to take a taxi and get as far away from there as possible.

 _"Raquel!"_ She heard Alicia yell, too.

"Raquel, please stop!" Sergio took her hand again.

“What for?! To keep witnessing how you look at her, how your feelings consume you?! Look at me!" Raquel forced him. “Look at me and tell me that you feel _absolutely nothing_ for her. That in your heart there is not a trace of feelings for her. Of love."

Sergio said nothing, and again he looked everywhere except at her. What he was feeling in those moments was too complex to answer with a simple yes or no.

“That's why your stupid rule, isn't it? Because you still hadn't let her go and deep down you hoped that one day she would return to your life."

"NO!" Sergio stated. “It's not that at all. I swear!”

But Raquel was way too hurt at the moment to believe his word, or listen to anything else. She just wanted to leave that place.

"Raquel, please, let's talk, I beg you." Sergio insisted.

"I don't want to talk now, Sergio. We… we shouldn’t even be having this conversation, I shouldn’t be questioning your feelings, it’s part of the deal, isn’t it? No love.” She turned away, walking back to the avenue in search of a taxi.

"Raquel, wait!" Alicia yelled at her, running to her side as fast as her ridiculously high heels would allow her.

" _Ey, bonita!_ ” Alicia cupped her face. “Don't cry.”

"It's so fucking humiliating, Alicia." She sobbed, wiping her tears angrily. "It's as if I don't exist, as if I'm not here!”

"Where do you want us to go?"

"No, no, no, you stay! I... the truth is that right now I would rather be alone, I don't think I'm good company for anyone."

"Promise me you'll be okay."

"I promise." Raquel replied with a sad half smile.

"I'll wait with you for a taxi, do you want me to ask you for an Uber?" Raquel nodded and hugged her friend.

A few meters away, Sergio and Andrés saw all the interaction and how they both waited in each other’s arms for the car that would pick up and take Raquel from there.

Andrés took his cigarette case from the inside pocket of his jacket and lit up a one. “You know, _hermanito,_ you can ask all my exes and even my flings about me, and more then one will tell you that I’m a bastard, but I have _never_ done to any of my women what you are doing to Raquel.”

"Shut the fuck up, Andrés!" Sergio growled, “stay out of my relationship. All of this is your fault!”

Andres laughed, choking on the smoke from his cigarette. "My fault?! How is it that your stupidity has become my fault?!”

"None of this would have happened if you and Alicia hadn't shoved Raquel down my throat every chance you had!”

Andrés sighed and stared at his brother. “You're angry, and hurt, and you’re saying things you don't really mean, I get it. But, if you are going to be an asshole, then you are also going to hear some truths. Nobody forced you to pursue something else with Raquel, you could very well have set your boundaries, as you always did every time I tried to introduce you to someone. But no, _you_ decided to continue and not even a week ago you confessed to me that you are madly in love with her. So suck it up and assume your own shit instead of looking for someone to blame. We are not kids anymore, and Raquel deserves better than this.” Andrés walked away, joining Alicia and Raquel who were still waiting for the Uber.

Once it arrived, Alicia and Andrés gave her a warm goodbye, the latter especially took Raquel by both hands and looked into her eyes. She couldn't help but notice something peculiar in his gaze.

"I'm so sorry, Raquel." Andrés apologized.

"You don't have to apologize for your brother's actions."

“I know, but it doesn't hurt either. Let us know when you're home, ok?"

"Okay."

Raquel and Andrés shared a tight, tight hug. He lifted her slightly off the ground and kissed her on the cheek. "Good night, _cuñadita_." Raquel huffed and made a face. "I'm not saying it because of that asshole, you and Alicia are like sisters, aren’t you?"

Now she chuckled. “We are."

"Good night, baby.” Alicia opened her arms to Raquel. "Let me know when you are home, and when you wake up tomorrow morning."

"And when I have breakfast and when I shower." Raquel smiled, her small frame squeezed between Alicia's arms.

"Yeah, that too. Everything. I want to know that you are okay.”

Raquel pulled back from the embrace, "I will. And guys, please, have a wonderful evening, really, don't think about this and enjoy the rest of the party."

"We will." Alicia and Andrés replied in unison.

Raquel got in the Uber and left away from there. To her mom’s house, her refuge when times were hard.

Once home, as expected, Mariví greeted her with dozens of questions. But also as expected, Raquel didn’t have the heart to speak at that time, all she wanted was the refuge of her home and the company of her mother.

Mariví understood, after so many ups and downs she knew better than not to push Raquel’s buttons and let her come to her when she felt it.

Taking off her dress and unpinning her hair, without even bothering to remove her makeup, Raquel jumped onto the bed just in her panties, moaning exhausted after the night that she had just had, closed her eyes and waited for her body to slide into a deep, restless sleep.

The next morning, Raquel was awakened by loud bangs on her bedroom door.

"Raquel, Raquel open the door!” Mariví yelled.

For a moment she froze, it was unusual for her mother to scream and bang on the door like that.

"I'm coming!" She answered sleepily and got out of bed, grabbing a cardigan from the chair next to the bed to cover her bare torso. "Mom, what is it?!” Raquel asked, rubbing her eyes.

Mariví stomped into the bedroom. “Oh my god, oh my god. I can't believe it, I can't believe it!" Her face mortified. She took the remote control and turned on the television.

In the news, the host reported the death of aristocrat and wine businessman Andrés de Fonollosa…

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is in the works, I hope to update soon!!


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